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Dec 13 2012

But…but…that’s not exact at all!


I’m probably the only person who has been bothered by this ad.

35 comments

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  1. 1
    lurker in a strange land

    You want them to be .. more exact?

    Sorry. Couldn’t resist.

  2. 2
    maxdwolf

    I wasn’t bothered about this ad because I didn’t know about it. ‘Til now. Thanks.

  3. 3
    johnbrown

    My reaction is similar. However, one of the most consistent areas of friction in my marriage is my correcting my wife over things like this. Sometimes it truly is best to let sleeping dogs lie.

  4. 4
    Sastra

    Perhaps we simply fail to know the context. If the question was “how many places does United go?” and the options were a.) less than 3 b.) 284 and c.) more than 370, then the exact answer is “c” — more than 370.

    Maybe. I don’t know.

    At least the ad didn’t say “We’re going place’s.”

    (But hey — shouldn’t there have been a comma in there?)

  5. 5
    Pierce R. Butler

    By major airline scheduling standards, that is exact…

  6. 6
    miller

    Reminds me of a line from The HitchHiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, where it talks about a house with proportions that “more or less exactly failed to please the eye”.

  7. 7
    w1znerd

    It could be worse: “Up to 370, or even more!”

  8. 8
    suttkus

    People who misuse words like that literally make my head explode.

  9. 9
    Kevin

    Hilarious.

    There’s also an ad for high-speed internet that features a golfer (Jason Dufner) that goes something like “our speeds are 66 times higher than theirs. If Jason golfed at their speed, it would turn par 4s into par 400s…”

    Um…no. I’m pretty sure that 4×66 isn’t 400.

  10. 10
    Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    Wow, that’s so precise it narrows it down to the entire set of integers greater than 370.

  11. 11
    alt3

    This is like those ads you get for sales at stores that say “Monday only! Save up to 15% or more!” I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to get more vague than that.

  12. 12
    Scr... Archivist

    The airline is telling us that more than 370 of their destinations will eventually be exact places. For now, they’ll just land somewhere nearby.

  13. 13
    Gregory in Seattle

    Is the ad annoying? I would give it a definite maybe.

  14. 14
    hyperdeath

    It could be like the instructions for school chemistry experiments. “Measure exactly about 100 grams of sodium fluoroacetate…”

  15. 15
    nora

    Suttkus – you beat me to it.

  16. 16
    fullyladenswallow

    What? You want advertising to be truthful AND precise?

  17. 17
    Holms

    People who misuse words like that literally make my head explode.

    I know this community takes real life threats very seriously, but on this occasion I just don’t care: I am going to hunt you down and give you such a glare. Like, the worst.

  18. 18
    Holms

    Oh and while we’re on speech idioms that shit me, listen up America:

    “I could care less” must never be said again. Oh and “I’ll write you” (and related forms) is not a complete sentence!

    RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGHHHHHHHHHHH

  19. 19
    sergiolira

    Lol well at least we don’t have to here them scream confused phrases like that’s at us with the new volume restrictions

  20. 20
    Robert B.

    There’s also an ad for high-speed internet that features a golfer (Jason Dufner) that goes something like “our speeds are 66 times higher than theirs. If Jason golfed at their speed, it would turn par 4s into par 400s…”

    Um…no. I’m pretty sure that 4×66 isn’t 400.

    *head-tilts at the stupid*

    But… it doesn’t even matter how fast you play golf! You could take an hour on every hole, and you’d get exactly the same score. (Well, you might have some trouble finishing the back nine in the dark, and you’d better let the folks behind you play through lest they run you over with a golf cart, but you know what I mean.)

    And anyway, the phrase “par [whatever]” doesn’t even refer to the performance of the player. It’s a characteristic of the hole, mostly the distance from tee to flag. (A par 400 hole would be about four and a half miles long, by the way.)

    Bad arithmetic isn’t even close to the dumbest thing in that ad…

  21. 21
    F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

    I used to use the phrase “approximately exactly” in a joking fashion. These people are serious.

  22. 22
    Synfandel

    The currently fashionable version of the slogan would be:
    We’re. Going. Places.

  23. 23
    ajb47

    That’s up there with the car insurance ads where “People who switched saved an average of $300 or more.”

  24. 24
    ethanmyerson

    On the bottle of Listerine in my bathroom is the marketing claim “Deeper clean than brushing alone!” That claim is indistinguishable from saying “Using this product is, to an unquantified degree, better than not using it”. That is, while perhaps factual, the weakest possible endorsement one can make.

  25. 25
    Nathair

    “I could care less” must never be said again.

    And that’s true irregardless of the situation!

  26. 26
    suttkus

    alt3

    This is like those ads you get for sales at stores that say “Monday only! Save up to 15% or more!” I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to get more vague than that.

    It’s possible to get SLIGHTLY more vague, since that, at least, eliminates the possibility of saving exactly 15%. Still, being the equivalent of “You’ll save something other than 15%!” doesn’t seem like the most glowing endorsement ever.

    Next philosophical question: Which is the better place to shop at, the store that promises you won’t save 15%, or the store that promises you won’t save 25%?

    ***

    Holms

    I know this community takes real life threats very seriously, but on this occasion I just don’t care: I am going to hunt you down and give you such a glare. Like, the worst.

    Glare all you want! I’ll snark more!

    ***

    Nathair

    And that’s true irregardless of the situation!

    GAH! I hate that one!

    I’d like to take the people who use “irregardless” and gather them all in a group so that I could completely decimate them!

  27. 27
    busterggi

    Probably go to more than 369 places exactly too. Also 368, 367, 366…

    Aw heck, its blue though and that’s my favorite color so I’ll let it slide.

  28. 28
    sparks

    There is an unlimitless supply of the stoopidz in advertising.

    Um………….what?

  29. 29
    ethanmyerson

    I’d like to take the people who use “irregardless” and gather them all in a group so that I could completely decimate them!

    You should consider doing more damage than merely decimating them.

  30. 30
    Joey Maloney

    @24, actually there is a still weaker endorsement: the widely-used “parity claim”, as in “No other detergent cleans better!” Said with sufficient verve and enthusiasm it sounds like it means something other than “This product sucks the exact same amount as its competitors”.

  31. 31
    suttkus

    @29: Um, yes, that would be the joke. Misusing a word to complain about people misusing words… sort of the running theme of the comments here.

  32. 32
    John Horstman

    Ow ow ow; damn you all to… hmm… Ah! Damn you all to Riyadh. (Saudi Arabia is basically atheist hell, right?)

  33. 33
    suttkus

    I don’t know where atheist hell is, but at least we know about secular heaven.

    http://dresdencodak.com/2005/11/29/secular-heaven/

    (Dresden Codak is a surreal webcomic, but one of my favorites. It is extremely weird, but if you like that sort of thing, this is the sort of thing you’ll love.)

  34. 34
    Georgina Smyth

    Definite sign of lower standards of literacy and erudition.

    They meant: to be explicit

  35. 35
    shouldbeworking

    That describes how many places they sent my luggage last time I flew with them.

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