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Aug 04 2010

Oh no! Fellow nerds, they’re on to us

They’ve discovered our secret hobbies:

And Jenny, darlin‘, YOU are going to attract people just like me when you are derogatory and ignorant about my favourite Church. M’kay? So if you don’t want a MY reaction… go back to whatever nerds do… endlessly poking each other in the belly-button, or playing with aborted fetuses, or, whatever.

Damn. What are nerds supposed to do for fun now?

I know I always say not to feed the trolls, but when they’re so amusingly ridiculous I feel selfish not sharing it with the rest of you. Especially when I think belly-button poking can be the new euphemism for godless, nerdy activities.

Though, read the rest of that comment at your own risk. If you tend to become enraged after reading nonsensical transphobic screeds… you’ve been warned.

42 comments

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  1. 1
    TerranRich

    I love playing with aborted fetuses. Yay, bouncy fun!Too far? Did I offend? Oops.

  2. 2
    AAGeek

    Warning duly noted, because if I get enraged, things don’t get pretty… mostly internally, I seriously will just have a migraine for hours from sheer enragement D:

  3. 3
    Egoistpaul

    Aborted fetuses can be fun to play with if you are nerdy enough. If they are kept alive, we can study them as they grow outside the mother’s womb. We can partner with a pharmaceutical company to test drugs. There is money. $$$$$$$$$$$$$.Human cloning or stem cell research can be benefit from aborted fetuses, too. More $$$$$$$$!!!!!

  4. 4
    Angela

    I like poking people in the belly button! If a friend’s shirt is too short and showing midriff, I poke it. My friends being the nerdy dorks they are, this tends to result in sound effects from the person being poked.

  5. 5
    Azkyroth

    “Playing with an aborted fetus,” “feeding Christofascist trolls…” kinda the same thing, if you think about it. They both involve deriving amusement from interacting with genetically human objects without functioning brains.

  6. 6
    Azkyroth

    Also, the poking-as-euphemism thing is awesome on a par with my former circle of friends’ running joke about “tying their shoelaces together” as an underhanded thing to do to a companion who’s intoxicated. >.>

  7. 7
    Rikki

    Quoting a hilarious troll isn’t feeding it! Feeding a troll is purely engaging it with logical argument, because it knows it is wrong and is purely looking for a rise from you!

  8. 8
    Alex

    I read the comment. I like how it has so many signs of trolling: total capitalization of words, incomplete sentences, needless insults, and endless other signs.I recommend watching Yugioh Abridged episode 48 for an accurate portrayal of Internet trolls.

  9. 9
    Ian Andreas Miller

    Aw, the person didn’t mention eating babies!

  10. 10
    Derteahound

    I am thoroughly offended that this person thinks we simply play with aborted fetuses. There are so many other uses; what are we, animals? Personally, I hollowed mine out and let me tell you, it makes a handy canteen!….Too far? I somehow doubt it.

  11. 11
    Joel Klinepeter

    Too soon? ;)

  12. 12
    cognitive dissident

    FTW!

  13. 13
    Andrew Hall

    Nerds do many things – sometimes we sing. I like to sing the book of Job.http://laughinginpurgatory.blo

  14. 14
    Jim

    What happened to good ol’ fashioned Nerd fun, like Hoop & Stick, or Kick the Can, or CelcoVision? You damn kids and your bellybuttons and fetuses! In my day we were lucky if we had a placenta to play with! And we were Grateful!I’m old…

  15. 15
    Fatima Abrar

    Lol… well i hope you don’t think all religious people are ignorant…Although i think the tendency basically exists in people that think they are better then others in one way or another (and religion is just one means for them to feel superior, eerrr i think the statement goes “holier than thou” or something like that)…

  16. 16
    Stephan Goodwin

    Oversharing time: my wife loves to poke me in the belly button because I have a crazy deep “innie” and it just amazes her. I guess she’s just easily amused. =PSo, indeed, they are onto us (or at least me).

  17. 17
    LS

    Man, that’s hard not to rage at >.>

  18. 18
    Citizensmith

    Poking other’s belly buttons is one thing. Then you move onto finding one person with an inny, and one person with an outty and migrate to belly button sex. What is worse is inny and outty status is independent of the owners sex so you could easily get some kind of fem dom or gay belly button sex. And that makes baby jesus cry.

  19. 19
    JeffSatterley

    Next on CNN, Pastor Ted Haggard’s secret belly-button poking partner tells all. Haggard admits to “belly-button immorality” but says he has been healed by Jesus, and has not poked a belly button in over a month.

  20. 20
    Scott

    Where do I go to get in on the belly-button poking action?

  21. 21
    Gus Snarp

    Surely he knows that it’s Christians who’ve never been taught about sex and think they must stay virgins until they are married that poke belly buttons. We atheists know what we’re doing.Also, surely that guy is a Poe. Surely….

  22. 22
    Rhb

    And if you’re in to poking aborted foetuses in the belly button…

  23. 23
    Introbulus

    “poking your belly button”…is that what the kids are calling it these days? ;o

  24. 24
    Dae

    I was prepared to be amused, rather than enraged, but… well, it did what you said it was going to. I just have to keep reminding myself that not all Christians are Internet Christians, and the ones I know that are good people are still good people.

  25. 25
    MarcusBailius

    I agree with Dae there. I couldn’t get enraged about it; it’s just a bit sad that there is such ignorance out there still. However, I guess that as long as there is such a thing as the internet, there will be trolls lurking under the bridges near the forums……By the way, on belly buttons, I am convinced that my wife’s goes all the way to New Zealand…

  26. 26
    MarcusBailius

    Personally, I really like babies. But I couldn’t eat a whole one…

  27. 27
    MarcusBailius

    Yes, it works, but it does lend an interesting flavour to the beer. It’s probably the chemicals used in the tanning…

  28. 28
    jen

    i tend to post the more amusing troll posts on my blog for entertainment.

  29. 29
    Neeroc

    I’m really glad I’m not a nerd then, because belly-button touching is just ‘eww’.Also, very sad this troll decided to claim they were from Canada, unless by Great White North they meant Russia.

  30. 30
    Timyang19

    “YOU are going to attract people just like me when you are derogatory and ignorant about my favourite Church.”I give up. Jen, what church did you end up dissing in your post?

  31. 31
    Timyang19

    They taste good steamed and with a pinch of salt, that’s for sure :)What? Never tried balut?

  32. 32
    Never Was An Arrow II

    “i tend to post the more amusing troll posts on my blog for entertainment.”jen… that’s a laugh…you don’t get ANY comments (or trolls) on your wishy-washy know-nothing religious outlook blog. And keep helping the other side, Judas.Great White North, Neeroc, you don’t know that is a reference to CANADA?!”I give up. Jen, what church did you end up dissing in your post?”Tim, don’t be so linear. Look outside the box. Or maybe the post. Is there any Church other than the Catholic Church?I thought I should come over to this post, and beat up some more people … you know, just because I can. When someone comes looking’ for a scrap, which is what this new post is, I always rise to the occasion.

  33. 33
    Timyang19

    Well there is the church of FSM.

  34. 34
    MarcusBailius

    You like beating people up?How christian of you. I thought there was something about turning the other cheek…? Or maybe that’s just PR. Either way, it’s not working.I have a bunch of cousins in Canada, some of them are Catholics. Not all of them, however: One of them recently performed the theme song to an atheist TV programme in Texas (!) so it’s reasonable to suggest his sympathies don’t lie in the christian (of whatever denomination) direction. And then, my aunt’s a Jehovah’s Witness, and my mother is Anglican… What would you do?!

  35. 35
    Stephen

    How DARE you disrespect The Most Holy Church of the Invisible Pink Unicorn, Blessed Be Her Holy Hooves, you heathen asshole? Don’t be so linear — look outside the box. Is there any Church but the Most Holy Church of the Invisible Pink Unicorn, Blessed Be Her Holy Hooves? The correct answer is NO. Which means you’re going to UNICORN HELL. With all of the socks that have HOLES.

  36. 36
    Holytape

    “endlessly poking each other in the belly-button”Someone needs a better sex ed class…..

  37. 37
    Sam Barnett-Cormack

    Definitely troll, not sold either way on poe…

  38. 38
    Jeric_synergy

    I was >>going<< to read the comment, then I saw the warning. My blood pressure thanks you.

  39. 39
    Vincenzo Lisciandrello

    It’s…just…too…easy. Trolls are getting weaker all the time…what’s a cannibal troll supposed to do when all of his food isn’t even satisfying anymore? :(

  40. 40
    MrWainscotting

    What if I poke myself in the belly-button *with* and aborted foetus?… Excuse me, I’m going to just make a quick trip to the Family Planning centre.

  41. 41
    Kirk Teeters

    ” read the rest of that comment at your own risk.” Great, that’s like saying… oh…. I don’t know… “See this tasty looking apple? Well, don’t eat it, or I’ll kick you out.”

  42. 42
    Five Nerds

    You do not yet realize the strength of your nerdiness. You have only begun to discover your power. Join us, and we will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.

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