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Harry Potter and the Horrible Video Games

There’s a new interview over at IGN about the 6th Harry Potter game for Wii. It looks like the new game will be just as craptacular as the 5th on. Yes, I bought the 5th Harry Potter game for Wii, but let me take a moment to explain myself. I’ve been a rabid Harry Potter fan since I first started reading the books when I was 11. Upon buying my Wii, there were practically no other games out other than Wii Sports and Barbie Ice Princess or whatever other junk they’re trying to sell to broaden the Wii’s target audience (to include 5 year old girls, apparently). While desperately scanning Gamestop’s selection, my eyes paused on Harry Potter. The conversation in my head went something like this:

“Don’t do it,” said Logical Jen. “It’s a mass marked piece of crap meant to have 12 year olds waste their mommy’s money.”

“But, but,” pouted Fangril Jen, “it’s Harry Potter. And for Wii! I can wave my Wiimote around like a wand and be magical!”

“It’s fifty dollars-“

“I WANT TO BE MAGICAL!”

And so I wasted 50 dollars. I amused myself for about an hour by flying a table around the Gryffindor common room and into the faces of my classmates. After that I was seriously disappointed that I couldn’t set everything on fire. If you give me a wand and the ability to make things spontaneously ignite, I don’t want to just light a fireplace. I want a Slytherin first year running around in fear. And honestly, would that be all that different than the chaos that goes on in the books? I’ll even settle for Filch chasing me around for being bad – as long as it’s realistic!

After the initial glee of foolish wand waving, however, I realized the game had absolutely no plot. It was an endless list of pointless mini games sending you from one end of the castle to the other. Not only that, but the Wiimote controls were so shoddy that you couldn’t even perform the spell you wanted half the time. I can go on and on about how horrible the game was, but I’ll sum it up in saying it is the only video game I’ve ever sold back to a store. Even Super Monkey Ball has somehow managed to stay on my shelf (it’s a great dust collector).

So why am I ranting about a game I gave up on over a year ago? Because it looks like EA Games is doing absolutely nothing to make the new Harry Potter game any better. I know I shouldn’t be surprised. I know this is just an easy cash machine for them, and making real gamers happy isn’t their goal. But it’s the principle of the matter.

They can potentially use the Wii Motion Plus to get great control for spell movements…but do they? No.

They can have endless amounts of interesting things to include from the book…but do they? No, they’re “true to the movie,” which is like saying it’s Harry Potter filtered through yet another level of shittiness.

They’ve had extra time to work on the game since the movie was pushed back…but do they? Of course not (Though it may have been beyond that point, I’m cranky, so I don’t want to give them the benefit of the doubt). Why try to make a game excellent when mediocre still makes you money?

I know my whining isn’t going to do anything about it, but it still annoys the hell out of me how games (and movies, and books, etc) will sacrifice quality for money. It’s the same reason why we’ll never see an full story Pokemon game for Wii. While it would be piss-your-pants amazing, Nintendo can make just as much money pumping out simpler sequels for their hand held systems. I just ask that someone stops me from buying Harry Potter 6 for Wii before the rabid fangirl in me takes over.

Comments

  1. says

    I don’t think I’ve enjoyed one game based on a movie. The closest were the games based on the Spider-Man movies. They were still kind of lacking. I remember reading a review of Harry Potter And The Sorcerer’s Stone for the Game Boy Color. From what I remember the game was a pretty decent RPG and was pretty faithful to the book. I’m fine with real Pokemon games being on handheld consoles, I just wish there was more innovation between titles, more than double battles, contests, and several hundred more little monsters to catch.

  2. says

    I don’t think I’ve enjoyed one game based on a movie. The closest were the games based on the Spider-Man movies. They were still kind of lacking. I remember reading a review of Harry Potter And The Sorcerer’s Stone for the Game Boy Color. From what I remember the game was a pretty decent RPG and was pretty faithful to the book. I’m fine with real Pokemon games being on handheld consoles, I just wish there was more innovation between titles, more than double battles, contests, and several hundred more little monsters to catch.

  3. says

    I never had tried games based on movies. So I couldn’t say a thing about them. But I have been playing Download Games for quite some time now, and I consider myself, well yeah, addicted to games especially on hidden-object games. Too bad that my favorite Harry Peter isn’t so good to be played in video games.

  4. says

    I never had tried games based on movies. So I couldn't say a thing about them. But I have been playing Download Games for quite some time now, and I consider myself, well yeah, addicted to games especially on hidden-object games. Too bad that my favorite Harry Peter isn't so good to be played in video games.

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