I think, we will not be able to stop rape by executing all the rapists in the world. Rape will be continued until we abolish patriarchy, and make a macho-culture and misogyny free world.
In the meantime, we can try our best to educate men to understand that rape is a crime, and they must not rape. Almost all men already know that rape is a crime. It is not very difficult for them to stop rape. They can do it only if they want.
Rape nowadays is the biggest news on electronic & print media everyday.Giving respect to woman is not in our blood.Many of us treat woman just as commodity.Time is changing fast but not mentality of many of us.
Woman are not ready to confine themselves to the walls of home and want to come out to get education,to get employment and work equally as their male counterpart.Today’s woman want respect and equalness in all spheres of life which is their right also.
We have to understand comprehensively the causes of this problem which are many not one.These are both social and biological.As this is a burning social issue, we have to find a logical and effective solution to this problem to stop this suffering to women.In this time when women are competing with men in every sphere and have come out from the comfort of home.They will be working & facing every kind of person and have to tackle them accordingly.Law is today on women’s side and helpful to curb these incidents.But only law cannot curb these kind of incidents, we have to address various other aspects of this problem.
We are not living in a close knit society as before so social pressure is almost not there as required in these kind of incidents.Rape is occurring in different classes of society and different reasons can be cited for this.Rape primarily occurs to satisfy the sexual lust.There are also incidents where this kind of crime taken place to punish /vindictive action.In both cases woman is the sufferer.Another dark aspect of this crime is increasing number of child rape cases (which is very horrific)where age is not a matter and only sexual gratification is the motive).
But somewhere women also have to understand male mentality and biological differences.Woman are not active sexually as their male counterpart.They have to get aroused or have sex under garb of marriage.They do not attempt a first and male has to play this part to get ready his sex partner and many a times female get involved and have guilt or feel it is not right and blame male for doing wrong to her.Many a times females who get involved in a relation for years ,blame their counterpart for not fulfilling certain promises and put rape charges.
Sex is a natural need and has to be answered accordingly but social pressure has changed this thing where you cannot have sex as per your body needs but as per social norms allows you. A male is ready to have sex (reproduce)between 14-16 yrs whereas females are ready for 12-14 yrs.But social pressures are taking away prime time of their age and need of sexual fulfillment is answered either by masturbation or some relation development as per easiness of relation or availability of sexual partner.It is here where most of the crime happen.
Women are taught like having sex before marriage is a crime and most of them are filled with the guilt even if they wanted to have it for their body pleasure.
It is not there that only men are involved ,women often attempt /seduce their younger ones or have relation with but they never ever get reported only due to that male would not go file an FIR or complain to his Dad that aunt has raped him for the want of satisfaction of her sexual desire.
A balance has to be there in between natural need and social norms where having sex is not a taboo.Freedom should be there for both sexes and consensus be made.
Nature has linked Sex with utmost joy.Simple touch gives you joy,It gives you pleasure, bring you in the state of ecstasy ,relieve you of tension,lower you blood pressure,Keep hormonal balance of body ,gives you right to reproduce besides pleasure.But social norms/pressures are robbing you of this because of certain reasons which are right only to a certain extent.Wrong myths are associated with sex.Men who are naturally aggressive partner are being blamed for their attempt/seduction.There are biological reasons for this as male person has millions of sperms in one ejaculation so to better chances to reproduce where as women are born with a limited no. of eggs.Only 400-600 app of eggs in a Life cycle.Only for two or three days a month a woman may feel desire of having sex(heat Period) where as male person is active round the month.There may be a slight difference in libido in every person.
Only one sided solutions are sought which are leading to more complications.Only thing left with women is to either feed their men coriander full day so that they don’t get erection or make a law where erection is illegal before marriage.where it is found ,assets would be confiscated.
Women would be biggest loser where they can’t get sexual satisfaction if they are pushing the men in corner like this.Women want their men to be fully aggressive and have sex with full “ZOR” so that they may get orgasm many times.But when the same male don’t get satisfaction from her female counterpart ,he should refrain himself from any kind of relation.This also leads to make relation or in worse case rape.
Men has to observe normally five days fast a month. When women get involved with their children their priories change and they more often ignore their men’s sexual demand.
I am personally yet to come across a woman who say first that yes i want to have sex for pleasure except for some aunts who exploited(raped) me in my teens or a few girls who come and sat with me for hours and lately made me realized that we did want sex at that time PAR APNE HI KUCHH NAHIN KIYA.Again I had to get blamed for doing nothing or not read/answered their desire,Or a girl who could not muster courage to have sex directly suggested to have some drinks and then have good time together.It is up to You to decide that a man has to face many moods & have to act like puppet or use some aggression to make woman realize the magic of sex(love).
Bhooka pet hi khane ke liye chori karega,Bhara pet aapko civilized Banata hai
But I am dead against crime against girl children where accused have to be dealt with severe punishment so that nobody can dare to do this in his life.
garrychakde,
what a long-winded and pseudo-scientific way to miss a dead simple point.
No one is asking for banning men from having sex. It’s all about getting men to understand that they can have sex, but ONLY with people who actually want to have sex with them too, and ONLY when those other people are up for it too, and ONLY in ways both participants agree to.
Applies to women as well, but apparently they don’t get it wrong all that often. A lot of men manage to understand and live by this too. It’s really not rocket surgery and nothing has to be explained or justified by some contrived pseudo-biological arguments.
It’s shit behaviour to punch people in the street when you’re in a bad mood, to rob people when you think you could use some money, or to rape people when you want sex but they don’t, because it severely infringes on someone else’s wellbeing. The problem is that too many men feel entitled to this kind of unacceptable behaviour when the other person is a woman, and this needs to change.
Thank you Ysanne, very well said.
Dear Ysanne,
My simple question is when a man feels to have sex and does not get it(even with wife) ,what does he has to do? I am not saying that he should attempt a rape but This urge to have sex then make him look around for the easiest make do in which some times he get a consenting partner or some paid worker but it is not so with everyone and some weak minded persons break the barrier.
I just want to make you understand male psyche as you are saying to understand female psyche and have consensual sex.How many women are there who are open to sex even with the closed one or with they are friendly with.They can’t discuss sex with their male counterpart and shy away from the group if slightest of discussion or even a joke is cracked.They show like sex to them is alien issue.
this is again irony of our society that our biggest celebration is nuptial ties but it is the most sour relation of modern times.Social norms are putting you under pressure under garb of right and wrong where as nature has no where put you to hold and we are not monogamous by nature ,It is our social pressures which make you to live up or precisely have sex with only one partner which is practically not there.Everyone is enjoying whenever he /she may get a chance but live as no body has dream t of sex without his/her partner.It is sheer hypocrisy of our society which is fueling this crime.
My whole portray is based on to understand the psyche and biological needs of both sexes not just male person. It is not pseudo -scientific ,it is based on the facts and i challenge you to tell me if i have placed a wrong fact .It is women who don.t understand and take easy route of denial on one pretext or other.I don;t know if you are married or not but with my experience I have to say you have to make a first move even when your wife who is legal and consenting partner and it is this first move which make women to put the entire blame on men.
Nature has made women with certain features which attracts men to propose/seduce a woman and women wait for them to approach first .They never say that yes i am attracted to you and want a relation with you. In a similar manner women are attracted only to men if a person is a achiever,physically attractive and is famous ,rich which is not the every case.So selective selection is also a cause of denial by women when choosing their partner.
My entire exercise means that both should understand each other’s psyche and be more open on this issue only then some solution would be there or no. cases would be less.Lastly I found a fact on internet that Dolphins who do have sex like humans for pleasure do rape male dolphins to show their authority.Chimpanzees are also do the same and have relations with no. of female partners.So, this phenomenon is not limited to the humans only.
Gary, Gary, Gary. Why are you such a verbose, confusing and confused bore?
How do you say me a bore ,do you have any opinion on subject?who is confused who is elaborating or one who has said nothing on the topic. This elaboration is necessary to understand the behavior of both sexes under social circumstances.
you just explain me why rape is happening and that too with little children as young as 1 year or so?
Until you diagnose the cause ,how you are supposed to prescribe a solution?
gary,
“when a man feels to have sex and does not get it(even with wife) ,what does he has to do?”
Lots of options, and rape is not one of them:
* He can have a good wank.
* He can try and convince a woman to find him attractive enough to want to have sex with him. Maybe even try that on his wife. Not difficult, usually only involves a bit of effort to be a genuinely nice, respectful and caring person/date/partner.
* He can go to a prostitute, negotiate with her what activities he’s after, what she’s willing to participate in, and for what price, then have consensual sex with her and pay up.
If none of these above options is to his liking:
* He can suck it up and deal with not getting what he wants when he wants it. Just like lots of people survive without some of the things making life nice, such as a loving family or enough money for a comfortable lifestyle.
Just because you want something doesn’t mean you can take it by force and disregard other people’s rights in the process.
I have no where suggested that he should go out and rape some one.
1.All rapists are not married.
2.All men are not getting prostitutes.
3.Do you think that the persons involved in 16 dec. incident can practice what you are preaching.Its about background ,about circumstances,education and lot more.You cannot imagine a sexually frustrated person’s mentality.There may be hundred reasons which vary from situation to situation.
What about Incest?What if a woman implicate falsely?There are some cases in which punishment is only reason to rape.
What you are saying is good for academic discussion but of little help.Most of the person may not be doing it as habit.In the fast changing social scenario it is only education which can change this scene.
There are now a days more incidents are happening then ever Can you explain it why?
Yep: A large proportion of men men feel entitled to taking whatever they want from a women, based on a culture that
* sees women as objects to be traded between men instead of persons whose rights matter,
* sees women’s role as tools to alleviate men’s sexual desires instead of people with own lives,
* excuses criminal behaviour by “sexual frustration” (exactly what you’re doing!)
* fails to punish such crimes against women except in the most egregious cases, and instead
* blames women who don’t want sex for contributing to sexual frustration and thus causing rape,
* blames women who do have sex for provoking men into wanting sex and thus causing rape.
In summary: People who drone on about sexually frustrated men who have no choice but to rape are huge factor in making many men think it’s ok to commit a crime just because they feel like it.
Were you born without hands, that you do not already know the answer to this question?
“I think, we will not be able to stop rape by executing all the rapists in the world. Rape will be continued until we abolish patriarchy, and make a macho-culture and misogyny free world.
In the meantime, we can try our best to educate men that rape is a crime, and they must not rape. Almost all men already know that rape is a crime. It is not very difficult for them to stop themselves from raping. They can stop only if they want.”
What will stop women
from raping babies,
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/woman-2-life-terms-raping-infant-daughter-article-1.1070701
from raping children,
http://newsone.com/2392256/rickesha-burns-mother-raped-son/
from raping teenagers
http://www.wcpo.com/news/police-woman-raped-teenage-boy
from raping each other,
http://gaycitynews.com/gcn.356/lesbianrapecharged.html
from raping men?
http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2013/09/05/woman-charged-with-raping-man-bond-set-at-75k/
Women are rapists.
Taslima, stop being a rape apologist for women, it is just your pathological misandry rearing your ugly head.
Women don’t allow your friends to rape.
And women, don’t rape people yourselves.
Women, don’t do that.
Taslima, I disagree with you in many ways, but I do appreciate your taking my comments out of moderation and publishing them, so thank you.
Yes, why stop someone from making a fool of himself if he so insists?
http://freethoughtblogs.com/hetpat/2013/09/04/the-startling-facts-on-female-sexual-aggression/
Feel free to read the whole thing Albert… After you read it, maybe you can stop being a part of rape culture.
http://freethoughtblogs.com/hetpat/2013/09/04/the-startling-facts-on-female-sexual-aggression/
One way to stop rape is to stop seeing it as a women’s issue.
We MEN must affirmatively seek to end rape. We must stop using “rape” as a verb to describe harsh commercial treatment. We must engage with the issue – every man who has a mother, a wife, or a daughter must devote real time, energy, and effort to stopping rape. Every man who has a son must take his son aside and, just as he has a talk with him about sex at some point, he must have a talk about rape with him – he must implant in his son the notion that rape is an act both of evil and of weakness, that it is not manly, but cowardly.
We must work to eradicate the culture of rape that is – let’s face it – a culture of, by, and for men. You women can’t do all that much more on the subject. It’s kinda up to us, now. Alas.
Tis a sad thing that but ultimately the power to end rape ends up in the hands of rapists – not exactly the people I’d like in charge of abolishing that particular societal ill.
The rest of us, instead we can condemn, educate and obstruct. Failing that, we can not abet them, not encourage them, not condone them. And most importantly for each and every one of us, not BE one of them. At its core, rape is not some abstract social issue – it’s something each of us has the power to abstain from and prevent, just like litter and country music.
Well, rape exists everywhere and has existed since the Vedic times. In fact, having multiple illegal partners and non-consensual sex was common and accepted affair in ancient times for men. Low class women had hardly any say when a man of higher class demanded sex. So the issue that we are facing is definitely not new. The focus on it though, has thankfully increased.
So how do we stop this ever prevalent, omnipresent evil in a society where you cannot afford to get a “decent” bodyguard for every woman? Not sure if a literacy campaign would help when the instincts are dominated biologically. Educated men rape as well. They just don’t get caught more often! Only two ways I see that can reduce the occurrence of this issue and mind you.. both are equally repulsive:
1. Lets head back to Medieval times when mingling of women and men was strictly prohibited. Our ancestors had a reason for keeping women at home. They had a reason when they designed all covered apparels for women because they loved their women! If females can keep aside their freedom and women’s right slogan for a moment and brood in an unbiased way, they would realize that trend of keeping women at home and not promoting their meeting guys was not out of dominance. It was to simply curtail the crimes on women. And women in those times understood the reason and participated at their will. It was only very late, that these guards turned into customs and customs turned into shackles. Anyhow, call me bitter, but that is definitely one way to tackle the issue. However, looking at the way things have changed recently, this way seems highly unlikely. Decrease in rapes would come at an expense of increase in murders. (My fiance would kill me for one..)
2. Lets go all out on sex. Be okay with premarital sex and casual sex be it a guy or a girl. This way, we are decreasing the taboo called sex. And as far as I see, this is where our Indian society is headed anyways. We are just caught in a midway crisis. If kids are allowed have sex in high school, sex will no longer be an achievement that men would crave for or drool about. This might require us to educate kids about safe sex earlier than class 7th, but we got to do what we got to do. All this, as I see, will come at expense of lessening of morality, loyalty and weakening of relationships. But unfortunately, we cant have best of both the worlds.
I totally respect the idea of teaching men, keeping them under constraint, hanging the accused, stringent laws. But we are talking about natural instincts here. I hope I make sense..
Great stuff by Taslima as usual.
Hey Taslima, do you know how we can teach women to NOT be golddiggers?
You must be aware.. there is a huge epidemic of golddiggers.
Bill Burr – Epidemic of gold digging whores
Hilarious how you emphasize the fact that she was raped and not the fact that she was MURDERED. Or is a rape a more serious crime than even MURDER in the world of feminists?
You cannot “teach” morality. Morality is subjective. People who believe rape is wrong will always believe it’s wrong, and people who don’t believe it’s wrong will always believe it’s not wrong.
If you REALLY want to stop rape, here are some ways:
Abolish prison. Prison is a bastion for rape. Imprisonment is an archaic form of penalty and should be abolished.
Legalize gun ownership and self defense. The United States has one of the world’s lowest rape rates because of it’s relatively liberal gun ownership laws.
By the way, are you in favor of the death penalty?
I suppose we need to teach men that murder is a crime and that they must not murder, too?
She would not have died if she was not brutally gangraped.
garry @1 above
You wrote: “Sex is a natural need and has to be answered accordingly but social pressure has changed this thing where you cannot have sex as per your body needs but as per social norms allows you.”
Sex is not a need, it’s a want. If you can embrace that fact the whole sex thing will be a lot easier. And not everyone wants it either. When one elevates one’s own desire to the status of a ‘need’ even more frustration results.
Why then marriage is required if sex is not a need ,there is no need of marriage.If it would be a want then natural glands may be working at one’s command which is not the case.If it would be a want then there would have been no phase of life called youth and most of girls may have skipped this need because they may not be needing it at their will.
I think you first have to understand what nature has made you.You have to accept that human race is not even monogamous.Had it been so there would not been so many cases of illicit relations.Even persons who are said to have adopted celibacy would have more sexual relations than a normal person.It is denial of your need which is pushing every kind of crime not a want.No one would have raped because of he wanted to rape.
There is no NEED for marriage!
You get married because you love someone and want to spend your life with them, or maybe because you are making a business arrangement that better your family. regardless, marriage is not just so men can get laid!
Marriage is a nomenclature given to the power of reproduction given by nature to you by society. It is a social norm adopted by evolution of experience and thought in bringing up society in a disciplined manner and to differentiate from jungle rule.Not a phenomenon of nature.Have a deep thought and start from natural aspect not Yashraj film, you may find an answer.
You seem to have a serious misunderstanding here.
Rape is not sex outside of marriage.
Rape is sex to which one of the participants did not consent.
I do understand it well and no misconception about What is rape.
And if you NEED sex, you are completely able to address that need by yourself. No need to involve an unwilling partner.
Your body may be bisexual.I have yet to come across a person who’s body is such.I am sharing my views in general and not any where said that I want to rape anybody or suggesting to some body.So don’t suggest me what to do.
If general human behavior about rape is discussed then one has to discuss all aspects.There are now a days more incidents are happening then ever Can you explain it why?
I had written an article on my blog on the day of “Mothers’ day” and the same is being reproduced here, as I feel that women in our country were always oppressed and tortured and all religions have supported it:
” “Maa tujhe salaam”!
A foetus is borne for 9 months inside a womb of a woman and in this period it is wrapped under the warmth of the womb, fed through mother’s blood and grows inside the most protected surroundings. After around 9 months it comes out of the warmth to the brutal reality. The child is born. Immediately after the birth of a child it should be nearer to the bosom of the mother so, it still gets the warmth of the mother’s body and when it’s able to withstand the ambience it’s taken away from the mother.
Nature is poised in such a manner that only a woman can bear a child. Mother and child’s relationship is the most pious.
Now there is a competition to mar that relationship by destroying the mothers either before they are born by foeticide by illegally detecting the gender of the foetus or spoiling their lives after they are born by those who also have come to this world through a mother. The nature is being challenged through this brutal act.
We have enough miseries like poverty, population, lack of education, unemployment etc…etc… and this epidemic of rape has suddenly taken a draconian shape. It is not a new phenomenon in our society as the demonic mind set is always persistent. You may recall that there was a case of custodial rape in Mathura in 1972 of a minor tribal girl of 16 years by 2 policemen. The lower court atrociously exonerated the guilty stating that in tribal culture it is a normal matter and the victim must be used to it! The apex court also acquitted the alleged guilty in absence of enough evidence. Ironically we had a lady PM then.
Sigmund Freud had taught us about Id, Ego & Super Ego. But, unfortunately Id is still more prevalent and Ego & Super Ego have no place in some persons’ psyche.
Social stigma, religious teaching and even fear of god also cannot deter this creed of men who do not even leave children from their heinous acts.
It is time we stopped politics at least on these types of legal matter and take action which is apt & just.
I salute the women for their immense strength, courage, boundless affection and love. “
I fully endorse views of Garry. It’s the male hormome.
Somewhere I read to contrain men. How? Administer them with female hormone?
Didi,
Hope you are doing good. Sending you a link against death penalty. I liked it very much and thought you may also like to read.
http://kafila.org/2013/09/13/how-would-you-like-your-death-penalty-steak-rare-well-done-or-medium-rare-arguments-against-the-death-penalty/
After the Saket court has announced death penanlty against the Delhi gang rape and murder case, India is now swinging in a trance of revenge.
Bhalo Thakben
Following you
ujjal
WHY must all these MRAs always show up? its not as if you are saying “yea, women go rape!”, or “women never rape” . You are simply talking about a problem and they cannot help but say ME TOO- as if men don’t already have the advantage in every single thing, they need to be heard in every post about rape too. it’s so maddening.
seriously MRAs, fuck off already.
I find it amusing (and a little sad) watching them sort out their Madonna/Whore complex.
1 A RAPE VICTIM SHOULD BE PUNISHED SUCH THAT THE ENTIRE FAMILY MEMBERS IS SO MUCH AFFECTED THEY TEACH THEIR OFFSPRING AND THEIR LADIES HOW TO BEHAVE IN OUTER WORLD
2 A HI-TECH UNDER GARMENT SHOULD BE CREATED THAT PROVIDE WITH SOME HUMAN PULSE LOCK SYSTEM IF THE PULSE RATE BECOME HIGH IT WILL LOCK BUT IF THE LADIES DECIDE SELF IT WILL SET SOME DIFFERENT ENVIRONMENT THAT IN FUTURE IF VICTIM TRY TO MALIGN MALE WITH SOME WRONG INTENSE IT WOULLD BE IMPOSSIBLE
IT CAN BE OPENED BY MOM OR DAD.THE PANTY SHOULD BE GIVEN TEETH OR ELECTRIC SHOCK TO THE PERSON DOING RAPE COULD FACE SEVERE SHOCK /JERK IN ADDITION IT COULD SEND A PULSE TO NEARBY POLICE STATION BY SENSING HUMAN ORGAN OR FITTED WITH CAMERA OR TRACING SEMEN AND DETECTING VICTIM OR SENSING SOME KIND OF PULSE FROM INCOMING
3 THE PUNISHMENT BE SUCH HIGH THAT VICTIM SHOULD BE GIVEN-LIFETIME STERILIZATION
4 THE VICTIM SHOULD BE MODIFIED TO FEMALE GENITAL ORGAN TRANSPLANT SO THAT HE CAN FACE THE COMPLEXITY OF BEING FEMALE
5 OUR GIRLS ARE ALSO TO BE TEACH THE EFFECT OF BEING DECENT TO MEN THEY CAN SACRIFICE SOME HABIT THAT CAN PREVENT THEIR OFFSPRING WHICH IS CALLED EVENT CYCLE