Rape, rape, rape. I so dislike uttering the word and yet every single day I have to hear it or read it. Will such a day ever come when no one will utter the word anymore because rapes will have stopped happening?
In the state of Uttar Pradesh in India, a 19 year old Dalit girl Manisha Valmiki had gone to the fields to cut grass for the cows. She was dragged off by four men who raped her, cut off her tongue and shattered her spine. After battling for her life for fifteen days Manisha passed away at a hospital in Delhi on 29 September. Why did those men rape her? Because Manisha was a woman. Because she was a Dalit. And the rapists? The rapists were men, the rapists were upper caste. Does that mean only upper caste men rape? Do men from the lower castes not commit rape? Do women of the upper castes not face sexual violence? All of these things happen. The truth is that women of all castes, all religions, across languages, skin colours, classes, in all villages, cities and countries, irrespective of their ages fall prey to rape. And men of all types are capable of raping and torturing women. Rapes will not stop as long as our patriarchal society continues to function, because patriarchy brainwashes people with the lesson that men are the lords, to whom women are nothing but slaves and sex objects. So what else can men do to slaves and sex objects other than subject them to sexual violence! Even slaughtering them with a smile is an exciting experience on its own, and men hanker for such excitement. They hanker because they are certain that they will not be caught, or if they are caught they will never face punishment.
A couple of years ago when Nirbhaya aka Jyoti Singh, who was raped in a moving bus in Delhi, succumbed to her injuries, thousands of people had taken to the streets. Protests against rape had raged across the country and eventually the adults among the perpetrators were sentenced to death. Isn’t that exemplary punishment enough? But has that stopped rapes from happening? No, they have continued.
Last year in India an average of 87 rape cases were registered per day. In the entire country the number of crimes reported to have been committed against women were around 4,05,861. Surely the number of cases that went unreported was much higher. Especially in this subcontinent whenever we come across an official number it is understood that we have to take the real number to be nearly twice, thrice or even four times. And do that we must, for not many women actually end up registering cases of sexual violence! Which woman can dare report a man’s crime in his own social set-up and still hope to survive unscathed! Women are forced to bury their heads and endure, and doing so has become a habit for them.
Cases of violence against women are not decreasing, rather the number is on the rise. Whatever the number was in 2018, it increased by nearly sevenfold by the very next year. As per data from the NCRB (National Crime Records Bureau) there were 3, 78, 236 cases of violence against women registered in 2018 and the number of rape cases were 33, 356. That number was 32, 559 in 2017, which means it’s only increasing every year. Will these numbers pile up and graze the sky? Women are becoming educated and self-reliant, rapists are being sentenced to death or life imprisonment, immense effort is being put in to spread awareness against rape, all sorts of government as well as private organisations are working round the clock to prevent rape and yet why have rapes not stopped happening? We must ask this question again and again and we must find the answer as well, not the fake answer but the right one.
Do such crimes of harassment, rape and murder happen only in India? Of course not, as the neighbouring countries are not content to be left behind. In Bangladesh 892 rape cases alone have been registered in the past eight months. We must accordingly figure out the number of cases where the crime wasn’t even reported. Gang rapes, raped and murdered, survivors committing suicide after the incident, and so on and so forth.
Just the other day I heard the news of a Chakma woman from the hills of Bangladesh who was raped by nine Bengali men. Was I surprised by the news? Not at all. When men restrain themselves from committing rape, they do so because they are afraid of the law or of getting caught and beaten up. Had there been a law today whereby men would be able to get away with any crime, then perhaps not a single man would spend a day without raping someone.
I read a newspaper report on a certain Monir Hossain from Chandpur, Faridgunj who had been raping his minor daughter for years. It was ultimately his wife who informed the police about his misdeeds and the daughter too confessed that her father had been sexually abusing her. Monir Hossain may have been arrested but there is no dearth of people like him in our society.
Our one greatest sorrow is that we as women, whether we are part of the minority or the majority, are never safe. That’s because, as ill-fated as we are, we inhabit this society with certain individuals many of who are not really men but mere dicks, deaf and dumb dicks. Until and unless these dicks evolve into actual human beings, rapes will continue to happen.
There’s nothing to be proud of being a dick, even though patriarchy provides one lifelong encouragement to be just that.
At the moment of birth a glimpse of the new-born child’s penis sparks elation in the family. That’s when it all starts. From that moment the way a male child is pampered, the amount of money and resources that is spent on him, the dreams and aspirations that are carefully nurtured around him, it all contributes to elevating him to the status of a king in the household. And kings are bound to be arrogant, they are bound to be susceptible to taking things for granted. From the moment they are born boys are taught that they are precious because they are boys and that the numerous girls in the family or in society, none of them are as precious as he. That women were born to serve men, to be objects that men can consume as well as to bear his children. Whatever they are taught, they behave accordingly. Rapes will continue to happen as long as society continues to consider men more valuable than women. Rapists are brainwashed people. They have been brainwashed relentlessly by family, society and the state. In the family laws drawn up by the state it is men who have more rights. The socio-political sphere is a male domain, it’s only men who are celebrated there just as men are the heads of families. We must attempt to demolish this patriarchal framework, only then can true equality be achieved. If we don’t discuss the equal rights of genders, there is no way rapes can be stopped. Lords oppress their slaves, that’s how such a feudal system has always worked. Rape is a form of oppression.
Building an equal society, guaranteeing equal rights for all and demolishing all patriarchal social structures are only ways in which we can combat the rape and oppression of women.
প্রিয় (ম্যাডাম) ‘মা’ ,
আমার প্রণাম নেবেন |আমি আপনার একজন পরম ভক্ত |আমার কাছে আপনি আমার নিজের জন্মদাত্রী ‘মা’ এর সমতুল্য |আমি আপনাকে নিজের ‘মা’ এর মতো সম্মান ও শ্রদ্ধা করি |আমার জীবনের একটাই ইচ্ছে আছে |আর সেটা হলো ,আপনার সাথে অন্তত একটি বার কথা বলা | ‘মা’ আমি আপনার সন্তানের মতো |দয়া করে যদি আপনি আমার এই আবদারটি পূর্ণ করেন তাহলে আমার জীবন সার্থক হয়ে যাবে |
( ‘মা’ যদি আমি আপনাকে বিরক্ত করে থাকি তাহলে আমাকে নিজের সন্তান মনে করে ক্ষমা করে দেবেন|)
ইতি
আপনার সন্তানসম
ইন্দ্রজিৎ হালদার
‘ Rapes will continue to happen as long as society continues to consider men more valuable than women. ‘
Glad that you’ve put much thought into this issue. Nevertheless, your understanding of the origin of the problem seems incorrect outright. As I see it, viewed from the natural scientist’s viewpoint, rape is Not unnatural. It’s a crime like murder, theft, etc in modern human society but Not in the natural world of animals. Getting rid of rape totally sounds like getting rid of crime & violence. By laws of nature, there’ll always exist some bad people alongside of the good like flowering plants & nonflowering plants, goats & hyenas, the progressive & the reactionary, etc, etc.
‘ We must attempt to demolish this patriarchal framework, ‘
There’s No doubt that patriarchy views women as mere things meant for enjoyment, which encourages rapist mindset. Civilised men are really against patriarchy. Nevertheless, I doN’t think women really want the abolition of patriarchy. It’s too clear to escape a sensible human’s notice that marriage & family symbolises patriarchy. So far I haveN’t heard even a feminist articulate pointblank this truth and wage war against it. The fact that even feminists can see Nothing wrong with female prime ministers’ indulgence in, precisely, a travesty of matrimony and the most ignominious act of bearing babies the way cows & nanny goats produce their young arouses disgust and disrespect for women. It also shows that human females doN’t consider themselves human fully. Eliciting disgust an disrespect in men’s heart is most unlikely to help any good cause of women, I’m afraid to say.
Rape is definitely 100% UNNATURAL. What separates us human beings from animals is that we have a brain and can make educated, thought- over decisions. Animals cannot. Yes, many more women than (the poster above) Prakash believes wants the abolition of patriarchy! I assume he’s a man, so he will never, ever understand what it’s like to be female in (any society) under an old fashioned and outdated system that claims us women are “second class citizens!” How would he like it if the tables were turned and society was run under a Matriarchal system, and HE, having zero control over being born a man, was automatically considered “less than” only due to his gender! I live in a large, cultural, very open minded, liberal, and all-accepting city. People move here from all over the world so they can live in anonynimity, they can live authentic lives, come out as homosexual/bisexual (I’m a proud bisexual), pansexual, or trans. All of America is definitely NOT like this! Middle America is quite the opposite, and not an area I’d care to reside in. It is incredibly ridiculous that a man would have the nerve to say that us women prefer living under a patriarchal system. If so, these are surely brainwashed, self- loathing, male identified, submissive, beaten down women. Muslim women come to mind. I cannot believe that they are forced to cover up from head to toe in public and essentially wear a huge, dark, hot piece of cloth just because Muslim MEN cannot control their sick minds and look at women as HUMAN BEINGS, and not sex objects/baby machines/sex slaves! Why should the women have to suffer when it’s the men’s problem?! Muslim men need to come to terms with their own reality, and stop blaming innocent women for their own shortcomings/perversions! Rapists do not get punished in many third world/backward/misogynistic countries! The victims do! What bull crap! I am a rape survivor, and had no way out of my dilemma because the cowards broke in, and had guns. I tried to jump out the window, but, was stopped. I went to the hospital immediately after, and had a rape kit done, I had shots to kill possible pregnancy and HIV, and the special victims police came to me. They had photos of the predators (three men broke in, and luckily only one raped me and ejaculated inside of me. A second guy told me to lie down afterwards, but then the other two said “let’s get out of here,” and they all ran out after ransacking my friend’s apartment. She was raped too. Soon after I bravely reported what happened, detectives knocked at my door, and asked me to pick the scumbags out of a line up. I chose right, luckily didn’t have to testify (they were wanted for other terrible crimes), and I haven’t been the same since. At least I live in America, where, if there’s evidence, the perpetrators are brought to justice/convicted! Imagine how many females are raped and do not report it!!? I am a strong woman, and a radical feminist who wanted justice!!! I cannot imagine all ogbr.females who have been sexually assaulted who declined to report it, in fear of retaliation. Men claim they are the “stronger gender, so why is it that they have proven over and over again that they cannot control their sex drive/horniness level? Hey, if I’m feeling wildly sexual (I have a high, strong sex drive for a girl… always have since I was young..I take care of my intimate needs all by myself if my boyfriend/girlfriend is not in the mood. I don’t go out and stalk and kidnap and rape innocent people. (Some usually get murdered afterwards so they are not able to report the perpetrator..) Male rapists/child molesters/ etc. are fully aware of the consequences (arrest, conviction, prison time (other inmates loathe rapists and pedophiles, and some offenders do not make it out of prison alive, or get raped/bullied/tormented themselves! The convicted rapist will lose everything he has:the respect of his family, friends, wife/gf, kids, lose his career, snd his info and picture will be featured on the national sex offender registry for all to see! Is a damn orgasm and the feeling of overpowering someone really worth it? I have never had an urge in my life to rape… women can control ourselves. Men obviously cannot! Mostly all men are featured on the national sex offender registry online! This proves that men are NOT superior to us women!! In their dreams!!
প্রিয়
তসলিমা, দেখ আমি এবং তুমি প্রায় একই সময়ে ৬০ সালে জন্মেছি। আমাদের সময়ে আমরা রেপ ব্যাপারটা কি তাই জানতাম না, আর এখন দিনের পর দিন রেপ ব্যাপারটা ক্রমশঃ দ্রুতগতিসম্পন্ন হচ্ছে। এর কারণ পুরুষদের প্রাথমিক শিক্ষার অভাব, নীতিগত শিক্ষার অভাব, সংযমশীলতার অভাব, শৈশব থেকে পুরুষ নারী সমান মনে করা হয় না বা ভাবা হয় না, বিভেদ সৃষ্টি শৈশব থেকেই পুরুষদের মধ্যে ঢুকিয়ে দেওয়া হয়, পুরুষদের মধ্যে একটা ইগোর ভাবনাটা ঢুকিয়ে দেওয়া হয়, এগুলো সবই শৈশবে বাড়ী, স্কুল, পরিবেশ, এবং সমাজ থেকেই অর্জিত করে। একটা পুরুষের চারপাশটা অতিরিক্ত ভাল থাকার দরকার যাতে সে স্বাভাবিকভাবে বেড়ে উঠতে পারে। মনের মধ্যে যেন কু জিনিসটাই প্রবেশ করতে না পারে, হ্যা তার জন্য অভিভাবকদের অবশ্যই সচেতন থাকতে হবে।
আমি, শৈশবে ছেলেমেয়েরা একসাথে পড়াশোনা করেছি, একসাথে আমরা সব বড় হয়েছি, সেই ছেলে বন্ধুদের মধ্যে দুজনকে ফে.ব থেকে পেয়েছি। এতদিনে এই বার্ধক্যে এসে জানতে পেরেছি তারা আমার প্রতি দুর্বল ছিল। আসলে আমাকে সবাই ভয় পেতো ছোট থেকে তাই কোন কিছুই অর্থাৎ ভাল মন্দ কিছুই ঘটেনি। এর কারণ আমরা সুপরিবেশে, সুসমাজে, সুশিক্ষায়, সুঅভিভাবকের পরি-চালনায় বড় হয়েছিলাম। আমারটা উদাহরণ দিলাম। কই সেই পুরুষেরা তো খারাপ হয়ে যায়নি। রেপ কমাতে গেলে ভিতটাকে সুশৈশব করা একান্তই জরুরী। তুমি কি বলো?