The judge in the Russell Brand trial sentenced the convicted rapist today to 10.5 years in prison. He is still under investigation for two further rape allegations.

The revelations during his trial and about the latest accusations show him to be an utterly despicable human being. Like so many public people whose disgusting behavior is exposed, Brand played the religion card. Some months after the first accusations surfaced with the promise of more investigations to follow, he very publicly proclaimed that he had found Jesus and was baptized in the Thames river in a public ceremony.

It is usual for people to not want to question the sincerity of the religious beliefs of others but not everyone was convinced by Brand, particularly columnist Marina Hyde.

A hazmat dredger, please, to the stretch of the River Thames in which Russell Brand was recently baptised, in an event apparently conducted by TV adventurer and chief scout Bear Grylls. I know, it’s incredible: Thames Water is no longer responsible for the biggest piece of shit in the river.
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Concluding with Brand, his spiritual journey has been what you might expect of a bog-standard sex-case-turned-wingnut. He was previously a Buddhist, then earlier this year began endorsing a Roman Catholic prayer app called Hallow, and seems to have settled for now on whichever branch of the Anglican faith permits telly survivalists to rebirth you. “Week one as a Christian has been amazing,” Brand said the other day, adding that he felt “changed, transitioned”. Onlookers are unlikely to spot the difference. He still has a conspiracist TV portal in which viewers are treated to material on the deep state/Bill Gates/the plandemic – in short, all the usual suspects of the usual suspects. It’s hard to know how long his conversion will last. But you can’t help thinking there will only be room for one messiah in that relationship – and unfortunately, it won’t be Jesus.

Brand also very ostentatiously carried a Bible with him, especially during his trial proceedings, both during the earlier preliminary hearings back in April, and then recently at his trail. Also in April, he appeared on TV with Piers Morgan and was asked a simple question about what were the relevant passages in the Bible that he took comfort in, and he struggled for nearly two minutes to find it, even though the Bible was festooned with sticky notes, presumably marking the important bits. Morgan just sat silently, making the whole spectacle excruciatingly funny.

In a subsequent episode, Morgan said that his decision to stay silent while Brand struggled to find the passage was very unusual for someone like him who talks all the time and but it was his silence that seemed to have generated a huge level of interest in the clip. This episode has an extended sequence where Brand reveals himself to be extremely garrulous and able to filibuster. There is also a bit that occurred before televising began where Brand appears to be quite manic and places a hand on Morgan’s shoulder and prays for him and also yells at him, “Be a good man!” It was surreal.

There were some pretty amusing comments to this clip, such as that it takes some effort to be in the same vicinity as Morgan and still be the biggest jerk in the room.

Brand recently published a book titled How to Become a Christian in Seven Days. Maybe there could be a sequel: How to Find a Bible Passage in Seven Days. I can recommend a passage to Brand. It is in Matthew 6:5-6 where Jesus says:

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

There is a report (from the gossipy British tabloid The Daily Mail) that other inmates in the prison where Brand was remanded after the trial pending sentencing were giving Brand a hard time.

The convicted rapist is “cowering in fear” as hundreds of his fellow inmates taunt him with an abusive chant they’re said to be repeating over and over, the Daily Mail reports.

Prisoners inside HMP Wandsworth, where the “Get Him to the Greek” actor has been held since he was convicted for rape and three counts of sexual assault on Thursday, are allegedly chanting, “There’s a Brand new nonce on the wing! A Brand new nonce. Brand, you c–t, you ain’t so f–king lairy now.”

“Nonce” is a British slang term that refers to “a rapist or child molester; a sexual offender,” per Dictionary.com.

For those not in the know, “lairy” is defined as “behaving in a loud, excited manner, especially when you are enjoying yourself or drinking alcohol,” per the Cambridge English Dictionary.

I have absolutely no sympathy for people like Brand who at the height of their power and influence think nothing of abusing others, ruthlessly treating them like dirt.