The Bible can probably solve your plumbing problems too

In Idaho, a panel of Republicans in the state senate has approved a bill to allow public school teachers to use the Bible as a reference book in the teaching of astronomy, biology, and geology. Not to be outdone, two Mississippi Democratic legislators think that they have found the solution to the world’s many problems. They have proposed that the Bible be the official state book.

Rep. Tom Miles of Forest and fellow Democratic Rep. Michael Evans of Preston are spearheading the bill which was proposed last week, according to Evans.

Evans told that the idea came about while he was speaking with constituents.

“Me and my constituents, we were talking about it and one of them made a comment that people ought to start reading the Bible,” said Evans.

He said that they discussed “all the things going wrong in the world” and someone suggested making the Bible the state book.

Evans, in his fourth year as a representative, is Baptist. “I believe in the Bible,” he said.

As for those who would criticize the bill, he said “the bill doesn’t force anyone to read it,” but that he hopes it encourages people to pick it up.

Miles told the Associated Press that he is also “not trying to force religion” but sees the Bible as promoting kindness and compassion.

If Miles thinks that reading the Bible will promote “kindness and compassion”, then it is clear that he himself has not read it.


  1. Jockaira says

    Alas, it’s not very absorbent. You’d have to use at least the entire Old or New Testament for full effectiveness. It’s widely known that Sears-Roebuck catalogues were not available to the ancient Romans and archaelogists have found many bibles with missing pages in public toilets. You could probably assure yourself an adequate supply at home by telling the Gideons that you want to stock the nightstands of a local motel. They would even deliver.

    I have used both in old-style detached out houses and just have to say that the Sears-Roebuck paper is far superior to that harsh gilt-edged biblical too-thin trash they call literature. The catalogue is much more absorbent and the pages are a more convenient larger size.

    Most purists agree that the Bible is a poor substitute for the real thing but it’ll do after a pinch.

  2. chigau (違う) says


    23:12 Thou shalt have a place also without the camp, whither thou shalt go forth abroad:
    23:13 And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee:
    23:14 For the LORD thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give up thine enemies before thee; therefore shall thy camp be holy: that he see no unclean thing in thee, and turn away from thee.

  3. efogoto says

    If Miles thinks that reading the Bible will promote “kindness and compassion”, then it is clear that he himself has not read it.

    Or his view of what constitutes both kindness and compassion is far different than mine. Perhaps he thinks that Proverbs 13:24 (“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.”) is effective in the short term and compassionate to children in the long run, where I think that disciplining children does not require hitting them and that non-violent methods are far more compassionate.

  4. lorn says

    Yutes … outhouses were most likely before most of your time.

    Yes, the Sears & Roebuck catalog made good toilet paper but nobody, except in the case of desperation, ever used even the softer newsprint pages of a current catalog. Goes without saying that the glossy pages were too likely to cause damage to countenance, even in dire straits.

    The S&R catalog made for smooth wipes but only after several years hanging in a non-temperature controlled out house. The variation and cycling of temperature and humidity effectively softened the gray pages in a year or two. The glossy pages took three to five years to become even marginally satisfactory, even with regular handling. Lots of country boys got practice reading and learned the basics of the female form flipping through the Sears catalog.

    Lots of rural families only had three sources for literature, the S&R catalog, the family bible, and newsprint glued to the walls to cover the cracks and keep the wind out. That, and if you were in the right place, and were out for a drive, the Berma Shave signs:

    Past / Schoolhouses / Take it slow / Let the little / Shavers grow / Burma-Shave

  5. al kimeea says

    Oh, they all read it. Very, very selectively.Which is confusing, since the entire book is either the literal word of their beloved doG or at least heavily inspired by IT.You’d think people would pay attention to the whole stinking pile rather than the kernels they find pleasing, but then they’d have to admit they worship a monster that considers them to be failed creations.

    OTOH, Buddy Jebus did say one shouldn’t beat their slaves too badly…

  6. Dunc says

    The question that’s always glossed over: which Bible? Whichever version you choose, you’re inevitable favouring one Christian sect over all of the others, which is a clear violation of the First Amendment.

  7. Who Cares says

    And that is mystifying to me.
    The OT are mainly rah-rah stories about how great the Jewish tribes are/were (excepting the absolutely fascinating impact that the discovery of iron smelting/working had on the middle east) unless things went wrong because X did(n’t) do Y.
    The NT is about the attempt to reform the Jewish religion and the opposition to that by the people who’d be negatively impacted (the priests and their entourage).

    This to the point that to make the bible usable by Christians the early proselytizers had to basically say ignore parts of the NT and don’t bother with the OT. Not that True Christians follow the last part because the OT is an absolute goldmine if you want to confirm your prejudices while saying it’s my God who orders this.

  8. says

    two Mississippi Democratic legislators think that they have found the solution to the world’s many problems. They have proposed that the Bible be the official state book.

    Why not the Koran? Don’t they love god?

  9. Dunc says

    Who Cares, I’m not talking OT vs NT, I’m talking Protestant / Catholic / Eastern Orthodox / etc. There is no agreement as to what books constitute the NT.

  10. Who Cares says

    I’m not talking about OT vs NT. I can’t comprehend why people who claim to be Christian follow a book where the first part is mostly rah-rah stories about the greatness of the Jewish tribes and the second part is about the struggle to reform the Jewish religion. This to the point that any Christian denomination still follows the commandments of the early proselytizers (among them the first bishop of Rome Peter) to ignore the OT and parts of the NT since those are only applicable to Jews.

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