Introducing the LPD (Libertarian Police Department)

Tom O’Donnell imagines what it would look like if Ayn Rand and her devotees ran the country according to their ideas. It begins:

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

A Bit of Fry and Lurie also did a sketch along these lines a long time ago.


  1. moarscienceplz says

    After all, everybody knows private enterprise is always more efficient than a government-run one. Plus, on rare occasions government law enforcement arrests and sometimes even convicts the wrong person, i.e., a rich white guy. A Libertarian Police Department would never allow such a gross miscarriage of justice.

  2. says

    He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.

    I’m still laughing.

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