Why doesn’t god kill Bill Maher?


So Bill Maher stirred up a hornet’s nest with his riff against religion, focusing on the whole story of Noah that has suddenly come to the fore because of the upcoming film, and correctly saying that it shows god in such a terrible light as a baby killer that no one in their right mind should worship him.

This raises the confronted the obvious question: If god was willing to wipe out almost every thing on the Earth (except fish) in one great flood because he was ticked off with human beings, why is he letting Maher walk around unscathed? If anyone deserved a righteous smiting, surely Maher does?

Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association and well-known crazy person knows why Maher is still with us because, like all religious leaders, he can read god’s mind.

“God hopes it doesn’t come to that,” Fischer assured his listeners. “God could, by all rights, take him right now and Bill Maher would have to face judgment by the end of the day. Why doesn’t he do that? Because he is patient with Bill Maher. He doesn’t want to have to do that. He wants to give Bill Maher the time to come to his senses and to come to a place of repentance.”

Well, ok, if you say so, Bryan. But since Maher has been doing his anti-religion stuff for quite a while now, this means that god is a really patient guy.

Comments

  1. Kaveh Mousavi says

    The Koran has a much more sinister answer. There are verses that say that god lets blasphemers live long so that they add to their sins and their punishment in the judgment day is more severe.

  2. raven says

    He wants to give Bill Maher the time to come to his senses and to come to a place of repentance.”

    They can never keep their stories straight.

    God is supposed to be omniscient, all knowing. He should know whether Bill Maher is ever going “repent” and start believing in imaginary beings.

    A Calvinist would say that Maher was predestined to be… Bill Maher and god knew it before he was even born.

  3. OverlappingMagisteria says

    There are verses that say that god lets blasphemers live long so that they add to their sins and their punishment in the judgment day is more severe.

    That is interesting. The Bible has a few places where it suggests something similar, but not quite so explicitly. In Romans 12:19-20, it says not to punish your enemies because you need to “leave room for God’s wrath” so that burning coals may be heaped upon your enemy’s head. Taken in light of the doctrine of Hell, it is clear what that means.

    There is also the time when God hardens pharohs heart for the explicit purpose so that God can punish him with the 10 plagues.

    Lots of fun stuff in those holy books!

  4. mnb0 says

    I have a far better excuse.
    God, tired of all those quarelling believers, has decided about 200 years ago to become an atheist himself. So he favours Maher. You want evidence?

    http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domela_Nieuwenhuisplantsoen

    This public garden is build on the site of a former church. It’s there in honor of this guy:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferdinand_Domela_Nieuwenhuis

    My favourite quote of his is “to derive a divine world from the concrete world requires a salto mortale.”

  5. doublereed says

    Fischer is basically saying God is an idiot.

    I’m sorry, but the whole idea of God punishing nonbelievers is not just immoral, it’s so monumentally stupid. Even a five-year old can come up with better ideas than this bizarre God.

  6. had3 says

    Good to see god has developed patience since the flood when he decided not to give time to the infants and children he killed. Must make a poppa god proud to see his baby god outgrow his tantrums.

  7. busterggi says

    1.Kaveh Mousavi

    March 18, 2014 at 7:00 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment

    “The Koran has a much more sinister answer. There are verses that say that god lets blasphemers live long so that they add to their sins and their punishment in the judgment day is more severe”

    So Bill’s cell in Hell will have only basic cable?

  8. Cdesign Opponentsist says

    God “hopes”? But… I thought God was omniscient, that he knew everything that’s ever happened and everything that ever will. Where does God get any room for hoping, then? Either he knows he’s going to have to smite Bill Maher, or he knows he isn’t.

    Wait… I’ve got it! Of course! God is, by definition, almighty. That means he can do AAAANYTHING – including hoping something will or won’t happen, despite knowing the eventual outcome! Ha! Take that, you bird-brained atheists, always so constrained by your man-made “logic”! God laughs at your feeble, limited minds!

    Right. It troubles me how often I catch myself thinking being a religious fundamentalist would so totally rule. It just seems so alluringly liberating. No more of this “logic and reason” dictat, no longer would I bow under reality’s yoke; I’d get to spout streams of delightfully unhinged, incoherent, assholicious flabblegab every day of my life, with millions of people standing by all eager to eat it all right up, and no-one would be allowed to say a word to me because how dare you denigrate my sincerely held beliefs you un-American pagan bigot! Hell, I’m a white male, even – think of the practical perks! Now if only I could get rid of these obnoxious personality flaws, like this desire to strive for conscience and honesty…

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