You can tell because the 2020 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog is out. What’s your favorite item? I’m torn between the $100 crate containing a small container of pancake mix and the $4500 espresso machine. I hope my wife isn’t too disappointed that she isn’t getting any of it.
Actually, the $100 pancake mix is the best/worst. Look at that! Do you hand the crate to the cook and tell them to make you a stack?
There’s a reason, I guess, that my wife brings me a big bowl of fiber every morning. I think she prefers that to having to pluck the legs off grasshoppers.
A man who lived in the Lower Pecos Canyonlands of Texas sometime between 1,000 and 1,400 years ago may have died from a horrible case of constipation, according to a study of his mummified remains.
And during the painful months just prior to his death, he ate mainly grasshoppers, the study researchers found.
Apparently, Chagas disease, which is caused by a parasite called Trypanosoma cruzi, had blocked up the man’s gastrointestinal system. That blockage caused his colon to swell to about six times its normal size — a condition called “megacolon.” The man was unable to digest foods properly and gradually became malnourished, scientists found. The condition would have made it difficult for the man to walk or even eat on his own. The researchers think that in the last two to three months of his life — either family or members of his community — helped the man eat by feeding him grasshoppers whose legs had been removed.
Ugh. What a miserable way to go.
We don’t have one of those affectionate, cuddly kitties. Instead, we have a hair-trigger psychopath kitty who will cut you if you cross her. You can tell she wants to be friends — she will, for instance, follow me around the house and sit near me, within arms reach but no closer — but if you try to be too chummy, the fangs will come out and she’ll stalk away in a huff.
But last night she jumped up in my lap and lay there purring. I was taken aback. What had I done differently? Then I realized that I was wearing a dark robe, blue but so dark it was nearly black, and everything clicked into place. We’ve known for some time that if we put a black blanket on the floor or on the couch, she would preferentially curl up on that. She just doesn’t like light colored objects. So now I realize…
Our cat is racist.
Either that, or she’s seriously into the Goth scene.
I may have to test her musical preferences. Siouxsie and the Banshees, maybe? Joy Division? Or maybe she’d be content if I just played more Prince?
I don’t usually listen to the kind of media that would subject me to Christmas carols — I MAINTAIN CONTROL OF THE STATION, a very Dad thing to do — but I found this one, and I will accept it.
The Bolingbrook Babbler has the final episode of our story chain, and it’s epic!
I did the first link in the chain, and I have to apologize to the other authors — I stuffed far too much into the intro, which meant everyone else had to load up even more into theirs, which meant that to have freedom for creative elaboration the whole story just expanded to an intimidating degree. Everyone did great, but I made them all work so hard. We’re bouncing around ideas for future story chains that will be much more light.
I am dismayed. You may have heard the announcement of all the brand new content that will be coming to the Disney+ channel — Disney just dumped their entire agenda on everyone all at once — and rather than reacting with glee as most people seem to be doing, I see a desolation.
New shows in the Star Wars universe, including one featuring fan favorite characters Ahsoka Tano, were applauded by fans on social media during the announcement. Three additional Marvel series were revealed as well as a holiday special featuring the cast of “The Guardians of the Galaxy.”
Did no one learn a lesson from the Star Wars Holiday Special? It was only 42 years ago, and we’ve already forgotten the tragedy.
But this is the real horror.
Kareem Daniel, head of the company’s new media and entertainment distribution group, revealed that Disney+ will become home to 10 Marvel series, 10 Star Wars series, 15 Disney live-action, Disney Animation, and Pixar series and 15 Disney live action, Disney Animation, and Pixar films.
In the world of Star Wars, Disney+ will add two new series from Dave Filoni and Jon Favreau, the masterminds behind “The Mandalorian” — “The Rangers of the New Republic” and “Ahsoka.”
There will also be a series called “Lando” that follows the smooth-talking Lando Calrissian from the original trilogy of films as well as a series called “The Acolyte” which takes place during the final days of the High Republic. It has been dubbed a “mystery-thriller.”
These shows will join already announced series “Andor,” “Kenobi,” and the animated series “The Bad Batch.”
Kathleen Kennedy, the head of Lucasfilm, teased fans that Hayden Christensen will reprise his role as Darth Vader in “Kenobi” along with Ewan McGregor in the title role. She also clarified that the series, helmed by Deborah Chow, will take place 10 years after the events of “Revenge of the Sith.”
Oh my god.
Look, I enjoy a good Star War, or an occasional Superhero, and I’m happy for all you Marvel/Star Wars fans. I’m one of you. But this is like sitting down to a banquet and discovering that the gigantic table is covered with pies and gorgeous French pastries and baklava and chocolate and cake and caramel-coated sweetmeats and…no. That’s not right. Too much diversity. The table is covered with pies. Nothing but different kinds of pies.
I like pie, in moderation. A diet of nothing but pie is not good for you, though, and a table full of pies would just make me yearn for a salad. Maybe I’ll indulge in one slice of pie — that “Rogue Squadron” directed by Patty Jenkins is awfully tempting — but I’m actually repulsed by all these sequels and variations on the same old 40+ year old stories. Haven’t the kids done anything interesting lately? Are we to live forever in the reminiscences of boomers? How about something new?
We should also be concerned that this is coming from the Disney empire, which wants to gobble you up and lock you in and tie up intellectual property forever, and has managed to buy up most of the popular entertainment franchises and is well on their way to their goal: One Mouse to rule them all, One Mouse to find them, One Mouse to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. We’re going to be trapped in the house that Mickey built, and we’re going to be fed nothing but pies, sweet delicious pies, forever.
Anyway, I’m not subscribed to Disney+, and I’m not going to. I’m instead hoping that the monopoly will fuel a new pirate renaissance to deliver me a pie now and then, and that there will arise new, savory, healthy menus outside the walled garden of sugar.
Abe has posted the next step in our Martian Odyssey on Oceanoxia!
I must have been wound up tight for the last three months, because after finishing grading yesterday, I thought I’d be able to relax and do some fun productive stuff. Nope. Brain melty. Joints achey. Everything hurts, but simultaneously so sluggish the pain can’t get too acute.
Oh well, the student complaints about their grades are already trickling in, so the tension will tighten back up to normal soon.
“A Recipe for Seduction,” a Lifetime Original mini-movie:
Hard to believe, but it is real, and just as tawdry as you might expect. It’s actually a maxi-commercial.
KFC had teamed up with Lifetime to deliver its own holiday mini-movie – “A Recipe for Seduction,” which will air on the Lifetime channel on Sunday.
The 15-minute mini-movie (or jumbo-commercial) features Mario Lopez, who has also starred in other Lifetime features such as “FelizNaviDAD.” Lopez will take on the role of Colonel Harland Sanders in the film.
It’s getting a lot of press, so it’s already successful…which means we can expect more cheesy depictions of company mascots appearing in bad miniature dramas. Look for the Borger King to appear in one of those Hallmark holiday movies with royalty, or the Little Caesars guy to show up on the History channel, or McDonald’s Grimace on Shudder.
But I’m done! All grades submitted!
That wraps up one hella long semester.
