Want to know about religion? Go to your local atheist, not your priest

Lately, a certain faction within CFI (not the whole organization — I know several staff who disagree) has taken it upon itself to slam the Gnu Atheists as a gang of crude louts who know nothing about religion — they’ve criticized Richard Dawkins, and I’ve heard that both Jerry Coyne and I were named in a recent talk as bad for the movement. Both Coyne and Benson have already taken John Shook to task for his poor HuffPo article, which begins:

Atheists are getting a reputation for being a bunch of know-nothings. They know nothing of God, and not much more about religion, and they seem proud of their ignorance.

This reputation is a little unfair, yet when they profess how they can’t comprehend God, atheists really mean it.

It’s almost as if a god has decided to smite those who sneer at the ignorance of the unbelievers, though. In an awesomely well-timed survey from Pew, Americans were queried about their knowledge of religion, and these results are being reported all over the place: the group that knows the most about religion are the atheists/agnostics. This is no surprise — we’ve been aware of this for many years, and one of the things we’ve routinely experienced is the fact that in arguments, we almost always know more about our opponent’s religion than he or she does. Would you believe about half of Catholics are surprised to learn that transubstantiation is one of the tenets of their faith?

Dave Silverman has a good explanation.

That finding might surprise some, but not Dave Silverman, president of American Atheists, an advocacy group for nonbelievers that was founded by Madalyn Murray O’Hair.

“I have heard many times that atheists know more about religion than religious people,” Mr. Silverman said. “Atheism is an effect of that knowledge, not a lack of knowledge. I gave a Bible to my daughter. That’s how you make atheists.”

In your face, John Shook. Take that, faitheists of the CFI.

You mean godhood doesn’t come with this job?

I was interviewed for this article about how atheists respond to signs of their own mortality. It’s a little unsurprising…atheists don’t expect to live forever, after all, so there’s no news there.

I am very uncomfortable with the comparison between my recent experiences and what Christopher Hitchens is facing. I had a little cardio-hiccup and quick & easy surgery to correct a potential problem (and a little warning to make some life style changes); Hitchens has a serious disease that is likely to take his life. These aren’t the same thing. These aren’t even close.

I’m also feeling pretty good right now. I’ve been in cardiotherapy three times a week, which has been feeling a little peculiar — I get strapped into an EKG monitor and exercise with a class of 70-80 year olds who’ve had recent heart attacks. It means for the first time in my life it’s like being the jock in PE class. I can run rings around those nice folks. And finally, the instructors have decided I’ve got no problems to worry about, and I’m graduating on Friday.

This is excellent news, because the class was scheduled right before I have to teach here at the U. So no more rushing back to class all sweaty and fatigued, and most importantly, no more keeping my chest shaved (hint if you’re going in for routine heart monitoring: a good shave will save a lot of annoyance when they start taping electrodes all over your body).

So yes, atheists are aware that they’ll die someday. And this atheist is fairly confident his death isn’t imminent, OK?

Heresy!

This is what the Pope’s astronomer says:

Any entity — no matter how many tentacles it has — has a soul.

Guy Consolmagno

Here’s what I say.

No entity — no matter how many tentacles it has — has a soul.

PZ Myers

I can count tentacles. I can’t count souls, and neither can anyone else.

Now that’s a faitheist!

David Penberthy is, presumably, an atheist…but a terribly angry, ranty, sanctimonious one. He has written an amazing article damning his nemeses—other atheists.

My faith in atheism is being tested by born-agains. Not of the Christian variety, but the obnoxious, pushy, ram-it-down-your-throat, born-again atheist variety.

This new breed of Godless souls has adopted one of the most irritating features of religion. They have become belligerent evangelists for their non-cause.

The rest of the article rages on, and you might be wondering what horrible crimes these atheists have committed, and who they are. Have they been issuing fatwas, condemning people to death for mocking them? Have they been decreeing that believers are not good citizens, and should have their right to vote revoked? Have they decided that theists are hollow, immoral people and parasites on civilization?

Well, no. He’s angry at Bobby Henderson for inventing the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He dares to mock religion!

He’s furious with that big bully Richard Dawkins, because he dared to interrupt Christians on a televised debate.

He’s really pissed off at Alex Stewart, who burned a few pages of a Bible and a Koran. His own books, not that he invaded a church or mosque and set things on fire, but simply because he was offensive.

And then he tops it all off by whining about how these aggressive atheists make him want to crawl back into the closet. It is the most pathetic, pitiful, wimpy spectacle of a weepy little inactivist, someone who is so put off by humor, assertiveness, and any expression of disrespect for damfool ideas that he wants to run away and cry.

Please do, David. Hide in a closet, snuggle with your blanky, and suck your thumb all you want — you won’t be missed. And we won’t mind at all.