Carnival of the Elitist Bastards #3

This is supposed to be the Carnival of the Elitist Bastards, a celebration of excessive arrogance and bare-knuckle commentary, where smart-assed brutes with swords for tongues receive their rightful acknowledgment. I have received two dozen requests for inclusion in the rolls of the Elitist Bastards.

Alas, not one has met my standards. This is the empty carnival, with nothing to celebrate. At least it makes for short work on my part, leaving more time to bounce the Trophy Wench on my knee and guzzle down a few pints with gusto. Now go away. I’ve got better things to do.

But wait…

What would a black-hearted bastard enjoy more than an opportunity to knout the knaves who have disturbed his rest? And what would an elitist find more satisfying than making his inferiors grovel while he delivers instruction? Read on, and I shall chastise those impudent supplicants who are not quite as elite and definitely not as bastardly as yours truly.

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Carnivalia and an open thread

Here’s some reading material for your Sunday afternoon.


The next Tangled Bank will be at Blue Collar Scientist on Wednesday. Send links now!

I’m hosting the next Carnival of the Elitist Bastards on 26 July, and the submissions are barging in to my mailbox and demanding my attention…but I need more. I want a legion of arrogant SOBs making noise. So send me more links…don’t be shy (hah!).

There are many of us here who deserve to read this

Are you an elitist bastard? I know I am! If you’re like me, then, you’ll appreciate a whole collection of unabashedly elitist, thoroughly bastardly sneers and tirades in the Carnival of the Elitist Bastards #2. Revel in it, you smug scoundrels.

And hey, I’m helming this carnival at the end of July, so send me your broadsides. If they meet my arrogantly high standards, they might make it into the next edition. All I ask is that you take your inspiration from Lord Flashheart, and do it with a bang.

If you’re really, really good, you might also volunteer to run one yourself. They’ve got a lot of empty slots in their calendar, no doubt because supremely elitist bastards are rare and hard to come by.

Catching up with old news

I have been very, very bad. I have been neglecting my obligations as a member of the blogosphere to share links to interesting stuff, all because I’ve been busy with travel and work. I missed the Carnival of the Liberals, the Accretionary Wedge, I and the Bird, the Carnival of Space, and even the Carnival of the Godless. I am wicked, the worthless scum of the earth, a footling twallop who deserves your scorn and needs to be demoted.

But I’m trying to catch up! I promise I’ll do better!

I also overlooked Revere’s Sunday Sermonette, which I usually catch: the latest is a tribute to George Carlin, but even worse, I missed the one from the week before, which was about one of my comments. At least Revere understands what I meant when I compared religion to knitting.

I haven’t had an open thread in a while, either. Go ahead, excoriate me.