Niall Gooch is a very Christian man. He writes for the Spectator, a conservative British news weekly, but he also publishes in the Catholic Herald and in Premier Christianity. He must be a good Christian, right?
It’s amazing how much crime could be prevented by something as simple as a physiognomy check at the border.
Simple basic science, easily taught to everyone, we just refuse to use it.
Who needs evidence, trials, lawyers, and juries? Just break out the calipers.
But really, I haven’t seen anyone discussing physiognomy as an indicator of behavior in ages (I don’t read Quillette). OK, though, if it’s a simple science (not that Niall Gooch has any knowledge of science) and anyone can do it, let’s try it.
This is Niall Gooch.
Diagnosis, anyone?
I’m going to say…gormless dweeb, not very bright but with a lot of unfounded confidence, not to be trusted with information or the dissemination thereof, shouldn’t be allowed outside the border of a small village.
Honest, I inferred that entirely from his face, not all from the stupidity of what he writes.
Definitely pointy-headed.
Anyone who believes in Physiognomy needs to get their head read..
“physiognomy” here is just a weasel word for “non-white”
He looks like a cross between Conan O’Brien and Mitch McConnell. I’d definitely send him packing. Simple, basic science.
What is the sense of measuring the outside of this guys head when there is nothing in it of note.
Suddenly reminded of an anime called Psychopass, where a supercomputer reads people’s auras and police go around arresting “latent criminals” to lock them up in an ineffective psych program to make them more compliant.
Now imagine the “supercomputer” is some pig with misaligned calipers.
I definitely wouldn’t allow Gooch around children.
Be careful.
If some channers hear you, they may think that it’s the next way to “own the libs” and before you know your government will start mandating physiognomy tests for all prospective federal employees…
The physiognomy would merely be used to identify the suspicious characters. Actual conviction and punishment would require a complete phrenological exam. Hey, this isn’t the dark ages, you know.
There does seem to be a recent revival of this ancient pseudo-science. The wikipedia article is a mess
So, what are the chances that this dumbass not only meant Rushdie’s attacker, but Rushdie himself?
I was wondering when judging people by the details of their head shape would come back into fashion. It seems like every other kind of old pseudoscientific belief, from the truly ancient (flat earth) to the relatively modern (“scientific” racism), has been revived in the last few years by people whose motto is “trust everyone except the people who actually know what they’re talking about.”
@chrislawson #3:
Which reminds me that, when apartheid was being introduced in South Africa, everyone had to have their racial classification assigned by a panel of three doctors (white, unsurprisingly) who would use the Victorian-era conception of physiognomy as part of their set of assessments. How nice to see it making a comeback in the shape of Spectator-related arseholery.
So now all those middle-school kids who judge everyone by their looks can call themselves “scientists”…
P Zed’s analysis is -almost- spot on. You were fooled by his glasses my man. If you ignore them you can see by the squint of his eye that he also abuses children.
Dude has some traits that indicate he is a thief and liar according to the eugenicists , such as his very crooked nose and down brushed eyebrows. What a gooch.
Basically what Sam Harris wrote over a decade ago:
[www.samharris.org/blog/in-defense-of-profiling]
“Is there nothing we can do to stop this tyranny of fairness? Some semblance of fairness makes sense—and, needless to say, everyone’s bags should be screened, if only because it is possible to put a bomb in someone else’s luggage. But the TSA has a finite amount of attention: Every moment spent frisking the Mormon Tabernacle Choir subtracts from the scrutiny paid to more likely threats. Who could fail to understand this?”
Look at those glasses. Tells you all you need to know. They look like a 1950s TV.
@ F.O., #8
The head of DHS, infamous puppy-and-goat-killer Kristi Noem, has already demanded that government workers be forced to take polygraphs to identify members of the resistance. When I saw that, my first thought was “the cranium calipers must be on back order.”
Hmm, physiognomy, looks more like phrenology would more accurately describe him. What a weasel wart! Of course IF they could spell or understand the word physiognomy, both the Felon Muskrat and tRUMP would claim that physiognomy shows they are the most honest, caring trustworthy people on the planet.
UGGHHH, typing that just made me violently ill.
Tethys @16:
Now, now. While ‘gooch’ is obscure English slang for perineum (see also ‘taint’), and (as a verb) for ‘blunder’, it’s also the surname of a world class ex-England cricketer.
Rob: I hope the Gooch doesn’t gooch and offer to show us his gooch…that would make him look like a total gooch…
Legends say if you stand next to him you can hear the ocean.
Physio-schmysio – anyone who gets their news from the New York Post needs disregarding regardless of face.
(Is that a spanking paddle in his little string of identity-emojis??!?)
@Pierce R. Butler
Cricket paddle actually. It’s a particularly tedious sort of kink
I don’t like the cut of his jib.
@25.dangerousbeans & #24 Pierce R. Butler : Cricket paddle? Cricket bat! (Not a flying mammal.)
Also whilst there may be some niche kink involved for some Cricket is mainly a sport – and arguably a religion especially for many Indians and some Aussies including this one.
@21. Rob Grigjanis : “it’s also the surname of a world class ex-England cricketer.”
Yup english captain back in the 1980’s and still their third highest Test run-scorer. See :
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graham_Gooch
Cricket is certainly a religion considering the rules that are like theology- we pagan outsiders do not get the subtle complexity.
Gijoel@ 23
He is powered by vacuum energy.
Tethys @ 16
He has a Christ-murderer nose! Also, his ancestors brought the Black Death to Europe by poisoning the wells! (s)
@birgerjohansson #28:
The rules for cricket are very simple. You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that’s in the side that’s in the field goes out and when he’s out comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. When they are all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out. Sometimes there are men still in and not out. There are men called umpires who stay out all the time, and they decide when the men who are in are out. Depending on the weather and the light, the umpires can also send everybody in, no matter whether they’re in or out. When both sides have been in and all the men are out (including those who are not out), then the game is finished. If the game isn’t finished quickly, stop for tea.