Halfway across the state and back again » « Insufferably credulous “journalists”

There is no carol that won’t wear out its welcome

I’ve been avoiding stores for a while now, because they’re all playing the same tired, horrible Christmas carols all the time — I was trying to buy almond milk and eggs the other day and had to flee because Mariah Carey started singing. I’m wishing I could turn that about and carry around a boombox playing this mash up of the carol of the bells and the imperial march when I enter a business.

It goes on for an hour! The one drawback to my plan for revenge is that I’d get sick of this carol 5 minutes after I started.

Halfway across the state and back again » « Insufferably credulous “journalists”

Comments

  1. robro says

    It would take a full 5 minutes to get sick of it, PZ? That’s some stamina. I got sick of carols permanently about 40 years ago. I did go to a performance by a chorus which sang a couple of carols at the beginning, but they mostly did other things like a song about “Nobody likes a fruitcake.” That’s the Xmas spirit.

  2. stwriley says

    That is absolutely wonderful PZ. It gave me the best laugh I’ve had in weeks.

    But I would also like to recommend my favorite carol, which is (of course) The Christmas Song by Tom Lehrer. That’s my kind of Christmas spirit.

  4. brightmoon says

    I could listen to Jingle Bell Rock and the instrumental version of Sleigh Ride maybe twice and I’m good for the year . I remember I got so tired of hearing holiday songs one year that I started singing the Uncle F***er song. The teenager I was standing next to thought it was hilarious especially since she knew I was a grandmother. 😁 The one song that will make me leave a store is The Bing Crosby David Bowie version of Little Drummer Boy🤦🏾‍♀️

  5. profpedant says

    That is an excellent mash-up of the two. Excellent to wash dishes and clean house to! Thank you!

  7. says

    I’m especially sick of the totally substance-free carols like “Holly Jolly Christmas,” “Here Comes Santa Claus,” “It’s the Most Wunnerful Time of the Year” (hello? It’s WINTER, dumbass!), “Let it Snow,” and all the rest of that shlock that says absolutely nothing but “be merry ‘cuz you’re supposed to!”

    At least the overtly Christian carols actually sing about Jesus — that’s more substance and sincerity than the standard commercial shlock. I remember one really sappy song about an angel watching over a sleeping US soldier somewhere in Iraq; it was dreadful to listen to, but at least it admitted there were people somewhere who weren’t able to fully enjoy the “Christmas spirit.”

    And here’s what I consider a very good remedy for all the shopping-mall carols: the Medieval, Renaissance and Baroque Christmas CDs (Nonesuch). The Medieval Babes also did some good stuff, though I’m not really sure how much of their “Christmas CD” songs are really Christmas-y.

    And here’s another problem I have with this “Holiday Season,” more than previous ones: all the damn Xmas hype started in September, which means I’ve been sick of hearing about Christmas since Samhain Halloween. I remember the good ol’ days when Christmas hype didn’t start till after Thanksgiving.

    THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS CANNOT END UNTIL CHRISTMAS ENDS ITS ILLEGAL OCCUPATION OF NOVEMBER! (Or at the very least, it should pull out of October and September?)

  9. nomdeplume says

    How anyone with any self-repect can sing the mumbo-jumbo of Xmas Carol nonsense I have never understood.

  12. submoron says

    What do you mean by Christmas Carol?
    Britten’s Ceremony of Carols moves me to tears after over fifty years godless. as does the Sarum chant Missa in Gallicantu with the Tallis Scholars.

  18. stuffin says

    Don’t know how many years it has been, but I’ve hated Christmas Carols for a long time. Been tuning them off for over 20 years. I work in Home Depot as my part time retirement job. The day after Halloween they had Christmas stuff on the floor. Today much of the stuff that didn’t sell well is over in one corner with a 50% off sign. Sorted through the stuff and I know why it didn’t sell the first time. Also, there are only a few trees left, mostly 9 footers and they have been reduced.

  19. Silentbob says

    I know Poopyhead hates anything to do with Marvel reflexively but this is still the best xmas song ever:

  25. says

    While I attended college in 1990 I worked part time at Waldensoftware in a large mall. I hated the holiday shopping season for several reasons: the mall packed with lots of sick people; finding a decent parking spot; dealing with thieves and irate customers; etc. But perhaps the worst was being forced to listen to Xmas carols for a month and a half! Constantly listening to this music should have been banned by the Geneva Conventions! Then you’d have local bands and choirs performing. ugh it was torture for sure! After Xmas Eve shopping stopped. After that I went home to have a few drinks! I’ll never do that again!

  26. Walter Solomon says

    John Morales @17

    Not all Xmas songs are carols:

    Who claimed that they were in the first place? PZ mentioned Mariah Carey whose celebrated R&B Christmas single is definitely not a carol.

  27. Hemidactylus says

    Walter Solomon @26
    John’s sole purpose in life is to correct the perceived mistakes of others on blog threads. God forbid someone is wrong on the internet and left alone however trivial the mistake. John will fix it for them and in the process feel better about himself. Who knows what event has caused him to be that way, possessed by some pedantry daemon.

  28. John Morales says

    John’s sole purpose in life is to correct the perceived mistakes of others on blog threads.

    Asserted with such confidence! Heh.

    —

    Who claimed that they were in the first place?

    Whatever made you imagine I imagined someone had claimed that they were in the first place?

  29. Bekenstein Bound says

    @Hemidactylus: take a look at his face.

    Obviously, he was sent from the future to criticize John Connor to death. :)

  30. StevoR says

    Aussie cartoonist Cathy Wilcox :

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cathy_Wilcox

    has a cartoon with these words published recently – sadly can’t find online except shared by friends on fb :

    A Christmas Carol

    Away in a tent camp, an old rug for a bed
    The sound of bombardment drumming in his sweet head
    He’s not been in this world long but his fate has been set –
    He’ll pay dearly for hatreds he hasn’t felt yet.

    “Those terrorist animals caught us all by surprise –
    For those killed and taken hostage we will wreck their demise!”
    We consent here to the stifling of what can be told,
    Whilst we silence our hearts & put our conscience on hold.

    With “Judeao-Christian values” proudly pinned to our chest
    We can justify vengeance at a nation’s behest
    But then how do we reckon with the guilt that we bear
    Still we say Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year?

    Those words overlain upon cartoon baby on rug.

  32. StevoR says

    On a more soothing if somewhat religious-y -but with aliens or time travellers or both* – musical note there’s this old classic Chris de Burgh’s A Spaceman Came Travelling (Might not be to everyone’s taste but I like it..)

    Peace & Goodwill unto all.

    Tis the season .. Becoz, we can’t do that, have and wish that, year round?

    .* Depending upon interpretion of just who and what the “spaceman” is.

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