How’s your sperm count doin’, guys? » « I detested the NY Times since before it was cool

Buh-bye, Sam

Sam Bankman-Fried was sentenced today to a 25 year prison sentence, which is probably fair since it was less than what I would have vindictively handed down (I am not a judge), but seems fairly substantial.

His comments were mildly amusing.

Given a chance to speak, Bankman-Fried stood and apologized in a rambling statement, saying: A lot of people feel really let down. And they were very let down. And I’m sorry about that. I’m sorry about what happened at every stage.

He added that, My useful life is probably over. It’s been over for a while now, from before my arrest.

What makes you think you ever had a “useful life,” you thieving parasite?

Now we need to lock up all the crypto bros.

How’s your sperm count doin’, guys? » « I detested the NY Times since before it was cool

Comments

  4. flange says

    @ #1, #2,
    …and “I’m sorry about what happened.” IT…just happened, you see.

  5. Alverant says

    ‘My useful life is probably over,’ Bankman-Fried said in remarks to court
    You never had a useful life.

  6. DanDare says

    @1 too true

    Why can’t he say sorry for taking advantage of other people to take their wealth and keep it in return for nothing. And people were not let down, they were betrayed.

  7. gijoel says

    Translation: “I’m sorry I got caught. In hindsight, I should have fled to Dubai, and not try to frame my girlfriend.”

  8. whheydt says

    Re: Akira Mackenzie @ #3…
    It’s a Federal sentence, so–barring some intervention of some sort–he has to serve 85% of the sentence before being eligible for parole. If the worst comes to pass–Trump wins the election–a hefty “donation” would probably get him a pardon or reduction in sentence to time served.

  10. John Morales says

    whheydt, I checked what you wrote. It’s more nuanced than that.

    There is no possibility of parole in federal criminal cases, but Bankman-Fried can still shave time off his 25-year sentence with good behavior.

    “SBF may serve as little as 12.5 years, if he gets all of the jailhouse credit available to him,” Mitchell Epner, a former federal prosecutor, told CNN.

    https://edition.cnn.com/business/live-news/sam-bankman-fried-sentencing-03-28-24/index.html

  11. says

    That’s funny, I only heard of “jailhouse credit” when it’s a big-money fraudster getting sent to jail.

    I’d love to see a detailed study of which Federal prisoners get “jailhouse credit” and which don’t.

  12. HidariMak says

    The judge who handled that case of Bankman-Fried’s slander against his girlfriend, is the same judge who handled Trump’s case of slander against E. Jean Carroll. Hopefully that won’t be the only legal detail shared between the scammer and the scummy.

  13. tacitus says

    “SBF may serve as little as 12.5 years, if he gets all of the jailhouse credit available to him,” Mitchell Epner, a former federal prosecutor, told CNN.

    Pretty sure that’s not true for federal sentences. There’s no parole and you only get 54 days credit per year for good behavior in federal prison which equates to 15% off your sentence, which is where the 85% figure comes from.

    He will no doubt appeal his sentence, and other than a presidential pardon or commutation (or changes to the law, I guess), which seems unlikely, that’s the only way he can get out of prison any sooner than 21 years 3 months.

    That’s what happened to our old pal Kent Hovind. He ended up serving nine years of his 10 year federal sentence for structuring while committing tax fraud.

  14. John Morales says

    tacitus, well, I sure don’t know.

    Still. Here’s another source: https://www.newsweek.com/sam-bankman-fried-jail-early-sentence-reduction-legal-nuances-ftx-collapse-1884787

    “Bankman-Fried’s sentence could have been much longer,” Brenecki [civil attorney Nicole Brenecki] told Newsweek on Thursday in the backdrop of Federal prosecutors recommending a sentence of between 40 and 50 years. “However, he is a non-violent first-time offender which not only led to some leniency in determining the sentence but will also likely contribute to his early release,” she said.

    “Given that he is a first-time non-violent offender, and given that he will likely be on his best behavior while in prison, his sentence could be reduced by 15 percent to 50 percent,” she said.

    A 15 percent reduction in Bankman-Fried’s sentence would see the former billionaire exit prison in the winter of 2045, and a 50 percent reduction in his sentence would see him exit in the fall of 2036.

  15. John Morales says

    Yet a different opinion: https://www.fastcompany.com/91071255/sbf-was-sentenced-to-25-years-in-jail-but-how-long-will-he-actually-serve

    But will Bankman-Fried serve all that time? Almost certainly not. His lawyers plan to appeal the conviction and the sentence. However, if that fails, legal experts say that while SBF will see his sentence reduced, it won’t be by the drastic amount some felons receive for good behavior.

    Christopher Zoukis, a federal prison consultant based out of Charleston, South Carolina, estimates SBF will likely serve about three-quarters of the sentence.

    Here’s how the math works. First, SBF will also be credited for the time he spent in prison before Thursday’s hearing, shaving 7.5 months or so off his remaining time in incarceration.

    Next, like all federal prisoners, SBF will automatically get a 15% reduction in his sentence for good conduct, reducing it by 45 months. That’s applied preemptively, usually within the first couple weeks of being in custody, says Zoukis.

    [much more stuff]

    At the backend of his sentence, SBF will be eligible for entering a halfway house, where he can leave for work, medical appointments, and typically a brief social pass each week. Prisoners are eligible for a full year in a halfway house, but “the likelihood of getting 12 months is slim,” said Zoukis. “I would assume nine months is a more likely amount.”

    And, assuming he is a model prisoner, SBF could spend the last six months of his sentence in home confinement.

    Add it all up, including the presentencing incarceration and halfway house/home confinement, and SBF could finish his sentence in about 18.5 years—putting him back on the street in the fall of 2042.

    This is, of course, a broad estimate—and things could change over time. But even Bernie Madoff attorney, Ira Sorkin, says SBF should get comfortable in jail.

  16. Larry says

    The prosecutor was asking for 40 to 45 years while the defense attorney thought that 5 to 7 would be appropriate. Hah! Bankman-Fried only stole 8 billion dollars. Surely, 5 years is more than enough for such a piddly amount of money.

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