There are barbarians and savages on our southern border!

They are called “Texians” or “Texans” or something like that. They are a cruel and nasty people who have just announced a set of brutal laws.

It is now open season on brown-skinned people.

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott has invoked the Invasion Clauses of the U.S. and Texas Constitutions to formally declare illegal immigration at the state’s Mexico border an invasion. In a letter sent out Monday, Abbott notified county judges along the Texas-Mexico border that he will “fully authorize Texas to take unprecedented measures to defend our state against an invasion.” The recently reelected governor also shared portions of the letter on Twitter Tuesday morning.

In the letter, Abbott outlined steps that will be taken by the state under his constitutional authority to “keep the state and country safe,” which include deploying the National Guard and Texas Department of Public Safety to arrest and turn away immigrants crossing the U.S.-Mexico border, building a border wall along counties on the border, deploying gun boats to secure the border, entering agreements with other U.S. states and foreign powers to enhance border security, and providing resources for border counties to increase their efforts to respond to the border “invasion.”

They’ve progressed from immigrants and refugees to illegals to, now, “invaders” which now requires armed Nation Guard units and gunboats to fend off. He has officially declared it an invasion that requires mobilizing military force. Look at these scary “invaders”!

The one thing that might spare us the savagery of the Texians is that they are also a chickenshit people who wet their pants in terror at the sight of brown children and the sound of Spanish.

But there’s more! They’ve also filed a bill, HB672, that criminalizes gender affirming care. If parents support their trans kids, they can be arrested and thrown in prison, and those kids would then be rounded up and place in the care of a state that hates them.

Once again, for some mysterious reason, these Texas barbarians are terrified by children. Unfortunately, this means we Northern states might soon face a flood of families fleeing the oppression, and we’ll have to defend our borders with Texas…not with military might, but with aid services and food banks and relocation assistance and the dreaded social workers. We can’t build a wall, though, because we have to let people escape the misery that is Republicans of Texas.

The one worry is that there are forces at work in Greater America that want to turn all of the country into Little Craven Texas. One of the chief architects of such a belittling change just announced that he’s running for president yesterday, when he should be in jail or a mental institution. Don’t let the puling maggots of the Right win!


  1. says

    I’ve spent decades working with recent immigrants. None of them have ever committed a crime in the USA beyond just being here. Existing and living in a place IS NOT A CRIME! They also aren’t here to “take your job”. If an uneducated person who can’t even speak the language can do your job then YOUR JOB SUCKS. Why can’t these redneck assholes realize how badly they are being exploited?

  2. IX-103, the ■■■■ing idiot says

    Fortunately they left an out. Clearly “gender dysphoria” must be a previously unknown symptom of an intersex condition. So surgery and hormones should be allowed.

    On another note, I knew that Shakespeare was a bit bawdy, but apparently there’s a bill proposed ( that makes shows with cross-dressing performers classified the same as strip clubs. Hear that ladies? No pants for you, you better wear a dress.

  3. moonslicer says

    Yes, yes, the intersex child “has inborn chromosomal, gonadal, genital or endocrine characteristics, or a combination of those characteristics, that are not suited to the typical definition of male or female or are atypical for the determined sex of the child . . . ”
    Yes, yes, the intersex child doesn’t fit the “typical definition of male or female”, which is an impardonable affront to God and the Governor of Texas. Therefore, surgery or other treatment which is forbidden for the transgender child has long been and will continue to be imposed on the intersex child.

    You have to be typical, and we’ll invoke the majesty of the law to make sure that you are, even if you aren’t. So in the one case you’ll get medical attention, and in the other you’ll be denied it. And we don’t care what it costs the child in question. They’re “typical”, more or less, and that makes Texans very happy.

  4. Matt G says

    This could easily be a Monty Python skit (a la burn her she’s a witch), except this has life-or-death consequences.

  5. brightmoon says

    Texas is a sewer . Creationist pseudoscience, blatant racist abuse, and disgusting abuse of non binaries. How did an a-hole like Abbott win re-election? I grew up in the most racially and ethnically diverse neighborhood in the country . I don’t understand these idiots at all

  6. says

    The obsession with intersex children is not at all benign. They want exceptions for that because they want the ability to take a knife to non-consenting infants and whittle their genitalia to the shape they want.

  7. nomaduk says

    Frankly, I’m looking forward to seeing them try to deploy gunboats in the creek that is the Rio Grande.

  8. moonslicer says

    @ IX-103 #2

    Regarding this proposed legislation, I find this bit:

    “”Drag performance” means a performance in which a performer exhibits a gender identity that is different than the performer’s gender assigned at birth using clothing, makeup, or other physical markers and sings . . . ”

    It’s not clear at all what they think “gender identity” is. Taking this bit at face value, it implies that a drag performer is transgender, which isn’t necessarily the case. Many drag queens aren’t in fact trans. So they could simply reply, “Nope, my gender identity doesn’t in fact conflict with my gender assigned at birth.”

    This is hardly the first time I’ve seen legislation being penned by people who don’t have the slightest understanding of transgender issues.

    “Well, you know what we mean!”
    “Actually, I don’t know what you mean, and neither do you.”

    (Which reminds me, the Baptists didn’t use to be hung up on this issue. When I was very young, my dad once participated in a womanless wedding in the church, though I know he wasn’t the bride, and I don’t think he was a bridesmaid, either. I don’t recall my mom trying to find him a dress.

    What’s the difference between Baptists back then and Baptists today? Back then they weren’t bothered by cross-dressing, but they would have been horrified by the likes of Donald Trump.)

  9. raven says

    How much of this is even legal?

    …entering agreements with other U.S. states and foreign powers to enhance border security,

    States can make agreements with other states.

    IIRC, states can’t make agreements with foreign countries though. Because that is a Federal government power and responsibility.
    5 seconds with Google.

    Can a State make an international treaty?

    Though the Constitution does not expressly provide for an alternative to the Article II treaty procedure, Article I, Section 10 does distinguish between “treaties” (which states are forbidden to make) and “agreements” (which states may make with the consent of Congress).

    Treaty Clause – Wikipedia › wiki › Treaty_Clause

    Maybe the Texians and Abbott should have spent 5 seconds with Google.
    States can’t make treaties with foreign countries and can only make agreements with the consent of congress. It’s in the US constitution.

  10. raven says

    Once again, for some mysterious reason, these Texas barbarians are terrified by children.

    No, they aren’t terrified of children.

    The Texians are bullies.

    Children are smaller and don’t have many of the legal rights of adults.
    They make easy targets for adults full of hate and bigotry.

    The whole point of these laws is to be as cruel and hateful as possible.
    The cruelty is the whole point.

  11. milesteg says

    I see they made an exception for intersex individuals so that they can continue to make those choices for the most vulnerable of people: newborns.

  12. Doc Bill says

    @13 Raven

    I live in Texas and you are exactly correct regarding the GOPQ: cruelty is the point. The GOPQ and their supporters, all those Bubbas and Karens in the rural areas, millions of them, have purged all the intellectuals. The GOPQ is simply unable to write legislation to address real problems, so they punch down by attacking those weaker, poorer or more disenfranchised. It’s all about punishment of the Other. It is probably not a surprise that the most vicious legislation against women is sponsored by GOPQ women.

  13. moarscienceplz says

    Hmmm, let’s see …
    Latinx people want to come into our country to work really, really hard to harvest crops, prepare and serve food, keep our buildings clean, keep our greenspaces attractive, and a million other tasks, and Texas wants them to stay OUT? What a bunch of idiots!

  14. says

    There are a few decent people there. We buy computers and parts from Parts People in Austin. They are honest and good to work with. Austin used to be almost progressive. But, I hear they are up to their eyeballs with raging redneck Rtwing terrorists now.
    And, don’t forget, their motto ‘the lone star state’ is just an admission that their rating as a state is only one star out of 5 possible.

  15. says

    @3 moonslicer Good points. There are scientific articles that document that 1-2% of people are not clearly, biologically/genetically, male or female. Again, let me state that there is waaaay too much fuss and hateful speech about sex/gender: let people live the lives they need to live!

  16. says

    Hey, remember the alamo? Those arrogant, aggressive, white, male, militaristic yoyo’s really taught those Mexican forces a lesson, didn’t they?

  17. says

    It takes a little reinforcement and reporting but we’ve had success keeping the various bigoted synonyms for migrants to a minimum on nextdoor.
    The euphemisms switch from military, to disease, to swarm… and the best they can do is complain that I’m somehow weak or mean or my speech is like government censorship and not reciprocal speech as criticism. They hate it but it works by putting it in starkly dehumanizing terms.

    The weakness is inability to speak of migrants.

  18. gc64 says

    I’ve lived in Austin since 73 and have seen some pretty disgusting stuff but, Abutt and crew have set a new low. With the Central Texas tech boom a lot of more normal/liberal people are moving in and I’m hoping things will get purple in a few more years. I think Roe provided some fuel for the Dems and I also think climate change is set to become an issue. Beto didn’t win but he definitely got a lot of blue folks thinking about what to do to stop the madness.

  19. Nemo says

    There’s no “invasion clause” in the U.S. Constitution. But what it does say about invasion is that it’s a federal matter. Not state.

  20. magistramarla says

    Yup! That’s why we left over three years ago. California is so much more sensible and sophisticated!

  21. magistramarla says

    Abbott needs to be arrested for sending 28 migrants on a 40 hour bus ride to Philadelphia with no food and water.
    A 10 year old girl arrived dehydrated and fevered, requiring hospitalization.

  22. karmacat says

    I wish someone would drop Abbott into Ukraine so he knows what a real invasion is like. Of course, Abbott doesn’t know how to deal with real problems, so he makes up fake emergencies. He can then claim he is dealing with these “emergencies” by making proclamations and using the National guard. And when Texas loses power, the National Guard will be useless because they will be at the border