I get email: Oh no! I have tugged on the lion’s tail!

I mocked Ben Shapiro. I shouldn’t have done that. You know he has legions of brilliant defenders who would leap to his defense, and now I am staggered by the sharp-witted repartee.

So that’s the kind of person who loves Ben Shapiro. I guess I better be careful or I might be fucked up by these dazzlingly sharp-witted fellows…

Oh, wait…hard to breathe…I’m choking on my own sarcasm! The poisonous toxins of my very own horrible, laughing bile are rising up to strangle me <choke> <cough, cough> Kharma Agent succeeds in their devious plan to make me die! Tell my…family…that…I love…theaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgghhhhhhh.

P.S. Sorry that I didn’t black out their email address. I forgot, and then I, you know, died.


  1. Susan Montgomery says

    Say what you want about my contributions, at least I try to make more of an effort than that.

  2. Russell Glasser says

    “I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And they are, but I still wish they’d stop sending me these stupid fucking emails.”
    — Voltaire, probably

  3. raven says

    I have tugged on the lion’s tail!

    While correct, it isn’t that bad.
    The lion turned out to be a children’s stuffed toy and it reacted as expected for an inanimate object.

    This is the season for threats I guess.
    Last week a Russian troll threatened to kill me with a nuclear weapon. Me and a few tens or hundreds of millions of my friends at that.
    Narrator: It never happened.

  4. OptimalCynic says

    Also “kharma” has no H. Or dharma starts with a d, who knows which one he was aiming for.

  5. Artor says

    I almost feel sad for someone that would actually look UP to Ben Shapiro, except for the small fact that they look up to Ben Shapiro. That kinda kills any sympathy I might have had for their patheticality.

  6. says

    “A bazillion IQ and a law degree from Harvard.”
    Dude must be really impressed with Barack Obama, who not only has a law degree from Harvard, he was President of Harvard Law Review.
    Oh yeah, and two term President of the United States.
    Must be really impressed.

  7. John J says

    You’re doing good work, PZ. “The lion turned out to be a children’s stuffed toy…”! That was a good one, Raven!
    Y’all brighten my day, thank you.

  8. says

    I find the IQ remark funny, not just because of the “bazillion” but because it tends to be losers who brag about their IQ. It’s like the participation trophy of intellectual achievement.

  9. Akira MacKenzie says

    This stupid shit is a child. Whatever their actual, biological age, they write like a child and they argue like a child.

    Sadly, the alleged “grown-ups” who run our nation are being neglectful parents and not punishing these brats–well-armed and well-funded brats–like adults should.

  10. muttpupdad says

    I suspect a plant, no random capitalization and no misspellings, way to advanced for a “true” fan of Shapiro.

  11. R. L. Foster says

    Oh, lookee, the fat white dick’s email address is there for all to see. I think I’ll forward it to my IT professional brother-in-law and ask him to do me a little favor.

  12. ardipithecus says

    Kharma, vieled, and gonna (twice). If he’s not quite a True Benbeliever, he’s at least a wannabe. Oh, and BTW, it’s ‘too advanced’. :)

  13. ORigel says

    @11 Free online IQ tests are pretty much worthless. They are rigged to give you high IQs.

  14. UnknownEric the Apostate says

    I love the high IQ argument. So they’re saying he’s smart enough to know better, but evil enough to say these things anyway. They do realize that’s not better.

  15. Akira MacKenzie says

    @ 18

    If that were so, I’d prescribe some time alone in your room with a bottle of lube and whatever erotica you can find.

    On the other hand (pun intended), I know the far right rails against masturbation so my suggestion would fall on death ears.

  16. christoph says

    @Akira MacKenzie, # 21:
    Fun fact: There is no prohibition against masturbation in the Bible. The “Sin of Onan” was actually pulling out early to avoid impregnating his brother’s wife as God ordered.

  17. Akira MacKenzie says

    @ 22


    @ 23

    Oh, I know about that. I was raised in a VERY Catholic household, but I was never given a Biblical justification for the prohibition against fapping besides “The Church says that God said it was wrong!” I didn’t find out about the “Sin of Onan” and how it doesn’t really forbid masturbation until I was much older. It all boils down to classic Christian ascetism and its hatred of fun.

    That said, nearly all of the far right’s denunciations of self-pleasuring I’ve heard have little of nothing to do with religion. They either claim that it will drain them of testosterone or some other vitalist nonsense about “essence,” or just basic homophobia (i.e. “If you masturbate, you’re having sex with another dude!”)

  18. moarscienceplz says

    “If you masturbate, you’re having sex with another dude!”
    “Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone you love.”
    I know, I know, Woody Allen is a nasty piece of work, but he still was funny, sometimes.

  19. Walter Solomon says

    You don’t tug on Superman’s cape
    You don’t spit into the wind
    You don’t pull the mask off that old lone ranger
    And you don’t mess around with Jim Ben

    Ben by Michael Jackson probably would’ve been a more appropriate music choice considering how rodent-like Shapiro is.

  20. robro says

    PZ @ #10 — Oh, good. I gather you’ve come back from the dead at least long enough to post a response. Keep it up and one day you may be celebrated as a god with a special holiday. Appropriately enough it’s almost “Good Friday” and “Easter Sunday”. Perhaps this day will be commemorated as “Nice Wednesday”.

  21. birgerjohansson says

    This brings back fond memories of the late Ed Brayton at Dispatches From The Culture Wars.
    Occasionally a troll would turn up with poorly written attacks, leading to a feeding frenzy of sarcasm.
    And a recurring headline was “Mikey Gets Mail”- from a friend working in a group protecting military service members from religious diskrimination, usually by evangelical officers.
    He got hate messages with “intetesting” spelling, opaque arguments and a big component of antisemitic slurs.
    We had great fun deconstructing those messages.

  22. birgerjohansson says

    The kings of Swaziland in Southern Africa still get buried in their wossname chairs carried by four persons, like they used to have in the 18th century in Europe for moving aristocrats through the streets.
    I assume PZ is doing something similar. Burial-wise, not travel-wise.

  23. wzrd1 says

    I find it fascinating how many True Believers go around threatening sexual violence or inviting one to engage in various non-heterosexual acts. I makes me wonder as to their actual orientation and latent proclivities that they’re so deathly afraid of as to do so under the perceived anonymity of the intertubes.

    I even had one enterprising genitleman that was vehemently antivax, actually go through the trouble of finding my actual physical address, promise to come to my door, kill everyone in the house, then rape my wife while I watched.
    My takeaway is, he’s into necrophilia and thinks that the dead would bother watching him abuse a corpse.
    Unfortunately, my wife had noticed the message and was alarmed, so performing due care and due diligence, I responded that it’d be unlikely that he’d survive entry into our home, that it’s also unlikely that I’d be feeling charitable enough to utilize firearms to eliminate a threat from an armed intruder and that blunt and edged weapons would be in free play and I’d make exceptional effort to ensure that it took at least 16 hours before he succumbed to his many and various injuries.
    He then desisted from further communication, which had he had the wisdom of a potted plant, he’d have started off in not communicating such bullshit to me. I really don’t suffer fools well at all.
    And no, I’d not actually torture someone for any length of time, that gives them an opportunity to become a threat again.
    But, I do get on my ear over shit like “you can speak your mind only if you agree with me and my idiocy” and I not only kick like the proverbial Army mule, I bite like a crocodile and am quite fast when I need to be.
    Fast enough that a early 20’s male decided it would be a good idea to punch me in the face. The horrified expression on his face as he realized that he punched with full force the shaft of my cane, whose tip rapidly greeted his chin is a treasured memory.
    Still, a fine “fuck you” would’ve sufficed.
    Oh well, at least he apologized as I was leaving.

    Worse, the idiot likely viewed this page and was mortified to be spell checked!
    Well, off to plotting my own demise, aka figuring out what’s for dinner.

  24. birgerjohansson says

    Ha! I can not find any Swedish-language translations of Shapiro’s writing. It is almost as if his ecological niche is confined to USA, much like Ayn Rand.

  25. moarscienceplz says

    @#30 birgerjohansson,
    The term you are looking for is “sedan chairs”.

  26. birgerjohansson says

    För your information.
    In 26 hours, Aaron Adair will be on Youtube with “The Star of Betlehem- a skeptical view”. I have read the book he wrote on the subject, much recommended.

  27. Akira MacKenzie says

    @ 26

    “Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone you love.”

    I my case, it’s more like angry hate-fucking.

  28. PaulBC says

    “You don’t tug on superman’s cape/You don’t spit into the wind/You don’t pull the mask off that old lone ranger”

    Ben Shapiro, on the other hand, is an asshole.

  29. PaulBC says

    Walter Solomon@27 Oh darn. Who knew that anyone else would be quoting Jim Croce? I swear I did not see your post first.

  30. Walter Solomon says


    Oh darn. Who knew that anyone else would be quoting Jim Croce? I swear I did not see your post first.

    No worries. It happens to me all of the time on here. This place really is like a Borg colony. We’re all part of a hive mind.

  31. says

    All that red pen. Reminds me of my uni days when my assignments were returned to me with more or less constructive comments and an occasional bit or sarcasm. At least I got As and Bs. Give this guy a P for plagiarism. All he can do is recycle Republican talking points.

  32. Larry says

    Sadly, he thinks he was being clever and ever so witty, all the while puffing out his chest and roaring like the cowardly lion.

  33. nomdeplume says

    Not a scientific survey, but it seems to me the quality of people that other people idolize and follow in cult-like worship is even lower than it used to be.

  34. Akira MacKenzie says


    Yeah, even Jim Jones’ followers would pants this guy and give him purple-nurples.

  35. unclefrogy says

    I am not so sure.
    there have always been different levels of would be “cult leaders” some being much worse then others
    these days it is also somewhat easier to learn a lot more about those would be “cult leaders” then in previous times.
    not sure what to make of the worshipful followers how ever
    both do seem to be from the bottom of the barrel and it is a lot deeper barrel then I would have guessed. History seems to give them a little boost into legitimacy and respectability looking at the current examples would indicate they deserve.

  36. PaulBC says

    @37 @47 That sounds like a good reason to seek therapy if you aren’t already. I mean, there’s a limit to what you can do about our fucked up world. You can at least be at peace with yourself. In fact, the out-and-out narcissists and sociopaths have a built-in advantage, but you don’t have to take it to that extreme. You know, just put on some Whitney Houston… To be clear, I disagree with the statement that “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” but I do think that self-love is the basis of extending it to others. If you hate yourself, how do the rest of us stand a chance?

  37. John Morales says


    … but I do think that self-love is the basis of extending it to others. If you hate yourself, how do the rest of us stand a chance?

    It may be, but it need not be. It can be the other way around.

    Self-hating, depressed and even suicidal people can keep going because they feel a need to care after another, even if it’s just a pet. Not that I know from experience, closest I get is feeling I should do my obligatory daily walk(s) to appease the pooch.

  38. Alt-X says

    Why are the right so easily triggered? SMH. Seems he’s upset with your free speech and facts.

    But that’s okay, we don’t care about his feelings.

  39. christoph says

    @ blf, # 53: Thanks for sharing-reminds me of a movie titled, “Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People”