Herschel Walker is trying to win the Republican nomination to the senate from Georgia. He’s popping into churches to reach his electorate.
Ooops, wrong clip.
He actually said that. Walker trotted out the most busted-ass, dead stupid, ignorant pony in their whole stable of broken-on-arrival, crippled, brain-damaged nags the creationists have, and the pastor praised him for getting too smart for his audience.
At one time, science said man came from apes. Did it not?Walker asked Chuck Allen, lead pastor of Sugar Hill Church, during Sunday’s event.
Every time I read or hear that, I think to myself, ‘You just didn’t read the same Bible I did,’Allen replied.Walker continued:
Well, this is what’s interesting, though. If that is true, why are there still apes? Think about it.
You know, now you’re getting too smart for us, Herschel,Allen responded.
“You know, morons,” I finished for him.
He’s probably going to win the nomination.
Reginald Selkirk says
… while pulling the “why are there still apes” line.
* snort *
Akira MacKenzie says
Evidently. Which, in my book, irreparably indicts democracy.
birgerjohansson says
Tell little Herschel about ecological niches. Like why titanothropes could not make it once rhinos evolved.
But if H
birgerjohansson says
-But if Herschel want to challenge the bonobos and chimps for their ecological niche, I am willing to pay the airline ticket for him.
bcw bcw says
I’m descended from Europeans, so why are there still Europeans?
endymion says
I sincerely hope he’s the nominee. He’s incapable of winning a statewide election.
chuckonpiggott says
@6 Endymion. Don’t count on that. Voters do not consider stupid in weighing their votes.
As for the bible. I’m sure I read the same one as “Pastor” Allen I just don’t accept it as a science text.
feralboy12 says
Think about it, indeed. See, there’s your problem.
People spend decades studying, researching, learning, experimenting, becoming experts in a field of science, and these dumbasses come along and give the matter five seconds of thought, and they know better than the experts. Shit like this is why I don’t even want to leave the house anymore. Herschel Walker has spent his whole goddamn life on athletic scholarship and now thinks he’s qualified to serve in the U.S. Senate.
Yeah, go ahead and elect him, Georgia. Sure. Maybe down the road a piece you can trade him for some draft picks. Hey, it worked for the Dallas Cowboys.
Fuck.
microraptor says
Cretinists truly have no original thoughts.
raven says
At least he is running as a Republican.
It took me a while with Google to find that out.
His campaign really doesn’t seem to emphasize that.
JoeBuddha says
Ooh! Ooh! I got this! If I’m descended from my grandmother, why do I have cousins?
The most idiotic argument in an infinitely long list of idiotic arguments that Creationists have come up with.
Walter Solomon says
He also produced arrogant and annoying offspring. Even the fruit of his loins, “biblical” language I’m sure Walker would appreciate, is rotten.
hemidactylus says
Walker has made me very, very angry before:
https://youtu.be/7SpXkJh3O9U
cgm3 says
Whenever I hear that “argument”, the first response that always come to mind is “Well, why shouldn’t there still be apes?” (Yes, I know, common ancestors, but it makes as much sense as the “argument”.)
I voted for Rev. Warnock in 2020, and I’m doing the same this November.
raven says
If Protestants evolved from Catholics, then why are there still Catholics?
chigau (違う) says
If your children came from you, why are you still here?
dbarkdog says
I would sometimes get the still monkeys question in class and would ask in turn whether people could live in the forest canopy on a diet of fruit and leaves. I would have to tweak that a bit for apes. The best part was that it naturally led to the idea of extinction through habitat destruction and other issues actually relevant in our lives.
cjcolucci says
CTE is a terrible thing.
larpar says
Walker won the Heisman Trophy. What more do you want?
Side note. Walker’s first pro team was the New Jersey Generals. Trump bought the team a year later. The league had a salary cap. Trump got around that by giving Walker a “personal services” contract. Once a cheater…..
Pierce R. Butler says
I first saw this story at Daily Kos, and thought it was one of their lame spoofs. (Well, the author uses the name “poopdogcomedy”…)
But I read it, decided it really had happened, and make the mistake of reading the comments. Amazing how many professed progressives couldn’t resist calling a black man an “ape” or a “gorilla”, given the slightest excuse…
Pierce R. Butler says
Oops, apologies to all for closetag fail @ my # 20!
feralboy12 says
So did O.J. Simpson. Does he still live in Florida? Maybe he should run for something there.
blf says
If this person is from Georgia, why does anyone else claim to be from Georgia?
astringer says
If Moses descended from Mount Sinai, how come there are still mountains?
drken says
To be fair, Hershel Walker played his college ball before Prop 48 established minimum academic standards for scholarship athletes. There’s the very real possibility that he hasn’t seen the inside of a classroom since Junior High.
zetopan says
And then there is that minor fact that technically, humans [b]are[/b] apes.*
*Although some act more like demented monkeys.