Bargain accepted, Brenden Dilley

All right, Brenden. I’ll wear the mask and accept that I look like a stupid dork, and you can point and laugh all you want.

You can die.

Could you please get it over with quickly, though, before you infect others? The whole point of the mask is to protect others from your pernicious vapors, so it really doesn’t help contain the pandemic for you to ramble about spewing in public.


  1. raven says

    May 19
    MAGA life coach Brenden Dilley will not be wearing a mask because it’s “better to be dead than a fucking dork.”

    We agree.
    Bye Bye Dilley the nondork. Don’t let the screen door hit you in the ass on your way to the cemetery.
    And please do consider being cremated. Dead bodies always look sort of well, if not quite dorky, just plain dead.

  2. raven says

    In Realityland, people who wear masks look like…people who are wearing a mask.
    My shopping one is in a nice floral spring print that goes well with all my spring and summer clothes.

    It’s also makes people look like normal, intelligent responsible citizens.
    Citizens who want to stay alive.
    Citizens who don’t want to kill their relatives, friends, neighbors, and themselves by being dumb and irresponsible.
    Dumb and irresponsible like…Brenden Dilley.

  3. Ed Seedhouse says

    He is already the dorkiest of dorky dork dorks. Wearing a mask might possibly disguise the fact. Until he opens his mouth, that is.

  4. wzrd1 says

    Why, oh why can’t he simply and silently lead by example and drop dead now?
    After all, it’s far better to remain silent and be thought an idiot thanit is to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.

  5. says

    I am given to understand that it is bad to wish ill upon another. Therefore, I should not say out loud that I wish Dilley would contract a dilly of an infection and end up on a ventilator in the ICU. So I won’t. Say it, that is.

  6. mailliw says

    @8 nowamfound

    never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups

    The size of a crowd increases arithmetically, its stupidity exponentially.

  7. lochaber says

    Well, I feel fairly confident that that Dilley guy has never faced much in the way of hardships in his life.

  8. Who Cares says

    Seriously being dead is better then not infecting who knows how many people?
    At least if he does drop dead he’ll be observing the 6′ distancing rule. Kind of hard not to do that 6′ under.

  9. seachange says

    During the AIDS plague dudes told me they were not wearing condoms because “it made their penis look stupid/dorky”. I am not kidding you. Albert Camus rules us all.

  10. quotetheunquote says

    I seriously wonder what this character sees when he looks in a mirror … not what I’m seeing, I’m fairly sure. I see a sad little man-baby who wants to be Don Johnson (ca. 1984), but I think he needs to know that it’s really, really not working. Who’s going to break it to him?

  11. dudev says

    If Dumbass Dilley were under the surgical knife, I’d like to see his expression if his surgical team said to him “We don’t wear masks, they make us look dorky.”

  12. christoph says

    Fun historical fact: “Dork” was originally a whaling term. It referred to a whale’s penis.

  13. KG says

    During the AIDS plague dudes told me they were not wearing condoms because “it made their penis look stupid/dorky”. I am not kidding you. – seachange@16

    And yet you have been telling people they shouldn’t take one of the most effective possible actions against Covid-19: vote against Trump.

  14. says

    And it’s not really true that masks make guys look dorky (except, perhaps, in the mighty whale penis sense). I saw a dude at Home Depot the other day who was not just looking manly in his mask, but f—ing frightening. I’d have taken a picture, only I was in a dorky mask.