How dare a corporation cater to a market segment that isn’t mine?


Oreo has come out with rainbow colored cookies. I hear the commercial is positive and heartwarming and appreciative of the LGBT community, but I haven’t seen it, so I’ll just have to trust the buzz.

That’s nice, but I’m not in the market for cookies myself. If I were, I’d probably like them, although they do look a bit garish. The one thing I wouldn’t do is regard them as a sign of the collapse of civilization. But then, I’m not Rod Dreher.

At least there’s a sensible take on that.

Yes, Rod sees a corporate decision to monetize apparent support for queer people and their hetero friends and family as a totalitarian act of revolution (???) because his movement demands that adherents be mad about something at all times.

But that something can’t be anything a normal person would get mad about. Normal people look at this and think “Where can I get some?” or perhaps “Yuck, Oreos.” They do not think totalitarianism or revolution because even if they are assholes, they aren’t assholes who have nothing better to do except Be Mad.

As an aside, I’m still torn by corporatized queerness. Yes, I know that this is driven by the desire to increase revenue and the production or sale of rainbow colored items is no guarantee that a company treats its own queer employees with respect. But, I’m old enough to remember the before times so I still think it is nifty.

Also, it makes dimwits like Rod beclown themselves, and that’s never a bad thing.

There are lots of things that are not marketed for me: sports video games, bass fishing boats, accordions, toupees, MAGA hats. They’re fine. You want one, go ahead, but please don’t pretend the people making those products love you personally. I’ll just shrug and move on.

One exception: if you’re trying to sell me on the weird religious opinions of a conservative dingleberry, I’ll say “Yuck, Dreher” and cuss you out.

Comments

  1. PaulBC says

    The free market always produces optimal results… except when Rod Dreher doesn’t like the outcome. Then it is “totalitarianism.”

  2. Rob Grigjanis says

    Did Dreher perceive the dangers of totalitarianism in the renaming of “French fries” to “Freedom fires” in 2003?

  3. microraptor says

    In another few years, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Right started trying to call wildfires “freedom fires” while they drive their huge, gas guzzling SUVs through bone-dry forests in late October, tossing lit cigarette butts out the window.

  4. microraptor says

    In the meantime, corporations have started being pro-LGBT because they’ve decided that there’s more money to be made being seen on that side of the debate.

  5. Dunc says

    The totalitarianism here is the totalitarianism of capitalism: all must serve the cause of corporate profit.

  6. JoeBuddha says

    Yeah, it’s corporate exploitation. But the very fact they feel comfortable making the gesture and think it’ll make them money is a good thing.

  7. christoph says

    So, Rod Dreher thinks cookies are part of the revolution? “The cookies are revolting!”

  8. Pierce R. Butler says

    Surely, even as we type, someone out there is playing a sports video game aboard a bass fishing boat, listening to recorded polkas &/or zydeco, while wearing a toupee under a Maggot cap.

    If such a person is located, I will happily chip in to buy them a bag of Rainbow Oreos!

  9. wzrd1 says

    So, we’re a totalitarian society, ruled by the Nabisco office of Mondelez International? All, over some cookie marketing?
    I guess I’ll be packing for the gulag, as Oreo cookies are way too sweet for my taste. Probably to be scheduled and ordered after the next board of directors meeting.

  10. bcwebb says

    No, No, I want it all!
    Rainbow sports video games,
    Rainbow bass fishing boats, (well, actually we have those,)
    Rainbow accordions,
    Rainbow toupees,
    Rainbow MAGA hats. Well, maybe not the last.

  11. kestrel says

    @#11: All black Oreos?! That would mean DARK CHOCOLATE filling. Oh yes! I would love those!

    Also these look tasty. Do the different colors have different tastes? That would be great.

    You have to be some kind of dumb to get upset over a cookie.

  12. unclefrogy says

    it always cracks me up that the people making political statements about these kinds of things cookies, face masks and who knows what are complaining saying they are political attacks on everything they hold sacred. So who is it that is politicizing everything?
    uncle frogy

  13. PaulBC says

    kestrel@15 Could mean squid ink too. I’m sure you could find a market niche, but count me out!

  14. brightmoon says

    Rainbow filling in Oreos, yuck . I like my Oreos plain . But I’ll still support my gay friends and neighbors. As an aside, my neighbor has a cute little black and white dog named Oreo

  15. wzrd1 says

    @Intransitive, not at all. I loathe those sugar festival monstrosities as well, I literally can tolerate a teaspoon of sucrose more than even one of those abominations! And given that I enjoy other kinds of cookies and cakes should be telling.
    Now, if they want to make rainbow chocolate chip cookies with real chocolate chips in them, just point me at them. Especially, if they have dark chocolate in them!

  16. seachange says

    The last I heard of rainbow cookies was back in 2012. Are all y’all sure this is a real thing and not some delusional dude with a time machine in their brain?

    @11 Marcus Ranum given slang of oreo, and that there are golden oreo with chocolate filling, this is hilarious.

    @15 kestrel golden oreos are oreos with no flavor. Nabisco/Mondelez goes out of their way to not say this, but the ingredients list is clear. I have seen pastel easter cookies with no flavor in the middle and halloween cookies with no flavor in the middle. It appears that flavor is too expensive a favor for the multinational congolmerate to offer its unitedstatian consumers any more.

    And hey, you can give them even more of your money at Neiman Marcus with the nine foil wrapped ones.

  17. wzrd1 says

    @seachange, I suspect they have a better reason to not waste flavoring on the golden cookies. With all of that sugar, howinhell could you ever taste anything so delicate as vanilla, let alone oh, say, lemon at an acid level lower than would dissolve your esophagus? ;)
    OK, joking on dissolving tissues, but the sugar overloads everything that could flavor it – even salt, to a fair extent! But, when going for cheap for the unwashed masses, you know they’ll not spend on that rare, exotic and near-extinct hazelnut or even acorn… Too complicated, as each batch harvested would have a different flavor and that just ain’t a brand.
    Wish I was joking or sarcastic, but I’m not. Everything with a large corporation is calculated, including potential customers disgusted by the sugar content and lack of real flavors, hopefully to be intercepted by a premium line and if not, oh well, they’re a small percentage of the general population.

    When I want cookies, I make cookies and my sugar to other ingredient ratio is lower, so that I can taste the flavoring ingredients and spices.
    My life loves my cookies, but also loves Oreos, can’t figure out why she’s diabetic (she’s also “a meat and potatoes girl”, who also has PCOS, giving metabolic syndrome). I have a trait that’s universal in my father’s line, every male, by age 50 is diabetic and by 58, on dialysis. Oddly, I’m not diabetic, if I grow a tad in girth, I’ll start feeling glucose excursions in the form of hypoglycemia (measured), drop the weight it normalizes. I do have to watch it, when hospitalized for thyroid storm and hypertensive crisis, my first real symptom was respiratory insufficiency, with an SPO2 dropping below 85 – during the first peak of the COVID-19 crisis. I’m quite an active guy, so immobility in a hospital is the next last thing that I want, the last being immobile in a grave. So, when I could no longer tolerate my respiration rate and noting the SPO2 dropping to 85, my wife inquired when I staggered back to the door, “Do you want me to call 911?”.
    “Fuck it, yeah, dropped below 85 and I’m tiring.”
    Literally had to replace that telephone, as the dial didn’t work right afterward.
    Learning that it was just a form of CHF, due to tachycardia and hypertension creating a wedge pressure insufficient to properly circulate blood (I figured it out by the values registered on the monitor), when doctor announced the cause, “Oh, thank God it’s only CHF and not COVID!”. Doctor looked shocked, then figured it out and joined me for a chuckle and related it’s still severe.
    I then told OD doc about my dilated aorta…
    When did Speed Racer get hired by a Harrisburg hospital?! More importantly, when did Speed Racer get warp drive? I was on the telemetry floor in a New York minute.
    So, I keep tabs on health and nutrition. The greens are largely mine.
    BTW, anyone got some ear bags handy? Mine are wearing enough to leak out part of my dessert greens. ;)

    Oh, I’ll buy some Neiman Marcus with the nine foil wrapped ones when the foil is at least iridium or rarer. Once I get those, someone call around to universities to find a professor that needs that rare earth element. ;)

  18. says

    I’d absolutely hate rainbowwashing, but since it keeps driving the right kind of people up the wall, I can only be mildly annoyed by it.

  19. davidc1 says

    Disgusting biscuits ,taste like lumps of charcoal with lashings of smegma .
    Hope that hasn’t put anyone off those disgusting biscuits that taste of charcoal and smegma ?

  20. Stuart Smith says

    In a capitalist society, everything is commodified. We cannot have cookies for cookies sake; even cookies must be made to serve the profit motive. But perhaps more importantly, we also cannot have homes for housing’s sake, food for the sake of feeding people, or medicine for the sake of treating the sick. We can have nothing towards any end but that of profit.

  21. mcfrank0 says

  22. wzrd1 says

    @mcfrank0, given the taste of sugar with a trace of chocolate, charcoal flavored cookie with more sugar, filling that’s essentially pure sugar, yeah, I’ll pass.
    Back when I was young, I could tolerate any form of junk food, that’s no longer true, as excessive sugar nauseates me – literally. Just as well, given my familial history of diabetes and its consequences, from which I’m now the eldest male in my father’s line to not be diabetic and on dialysis.
    Laughably, I’m big on carb loading in the morning and at dinner, each for a purpose. At dinner, well, I’ll be sleeping and require energy, at breakfast, to power through the day and despite walking with a cane, I’m quite energetic and speedwalk fast enough to leave young military types gasping for breath after a mile or so walk – while pushing or pulling a sizable mass on a cart. I’m senior, but I’ll not ask someone to do something I won’t do, safe if it’s unsafe if I do it.
    On bad days, when arthritis flares, they happily take up the load instead, as well as when risk is an issue with me doing something that’d otherwise not be dangerous.

    What sucks is, making marzipan filling with flavors and spices, just as in cookies, is trivial. Just more expensive and worse, jaded corporate types assume nobody wants real flavor, they simply want sugar and fat, with a fair load of salt.
    I do employ sugar and salt in some meals, balanced by spices and aromatics. Only had people ask me for the recipe.
    Which is amusing, considering I have no sense of smell, but can taste the aromatics.

    If anyone wants to start a junk food company that offers taste, I’ll happily part-time consult. A boring 9-5 job of essentially zero emergencies or surprising events isn’t for me. But, helping make life a tad more bearable for those flavor deprived is always welcome and my experience with spices and aromatics is literally global.

  23. Akira MacKenzie says

    Ah… Rod Dreher, the man who brought us The Benedict Option and once claimed that a friends wife’s infidelity and rejection of traditional Catholicism was due to her being possessed by eight demons.

  24. PaulBC says

    @28 Oh, that guy! Shouldn’t he take that “option” himself and STFU? It sure sounds like he’s still pretty busy kibbitzing in our sad, fallen world. Go figure.

  25. addicted4444 says

    his movement demands that adherents be mad about something at all times

    I have to disagree with this. His movement demands that adherents be mad about something trivial at all times so as to distract from the actual issues we all should be mad about, such as the massive wealth inequality in the US, the fact that the US Supreme Court is gonna decimate the right for women to choose, the wanton and large scale murder of black people by the very people who are supposed to protect them, and that even today a very large plurality of Americans consider LGBTQ people unequal.

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