This is why I don’t talk to mammals anymore

It’s also why I avoid grocery stores. Jon Rosenberg recounts a perfectly ordinary encounter at the supermarket.

I am not a talking asparagus, but this kind of thing is going on all over the place.

By the way, another reason I shun the local grocery store is because, despite the state-wide mask mandate, the management of that filthy pesthole still allows customers to stroll around maskless. And they do.


  1. Sean Boyd says

    This testimonial is (probably not) brought to you by Willie’s Super Valu. At Willie’s, we will not refuse service to any organism, no matter how small.

  2. birgerjohansson says

    But on the bright side, we now have the comforting words of a famous politician: “it is what it is””.
    BTW does Tucker Carlson qualify as a ‘mammal’? I thought he was a colony of physalia, acting in concert like that Portugese Man’ o War.

  3. stroppy says

    Lately I’ve been seeing guys shopping who don’t even bother to cover their faces partially. The just use them to get into stores and then pull them down and wear them as neck wear.

  4. blf says

    Daemon’s Woo and Greed, UnLimited, Hades
    Your Fiendish Regressive Evil Monopoly
    For immediate release…

    DWAG is happy to announce it’s switching production from hydroxychlorostuff to what has now taken your leader, so as to distract all peabrained mammals. Teh hydrowhateverstuff was originally produced by our skilled Hydra Head Chopping Team, rapidly transforming itselves into, literally, teh Hydro Brain Eating Team, nickednamed teh Trumps & Zombies. T&Z is now teh Scooping Out Dissolved Brains Team, and anticipates another successful election plus increased production of moorans, using the scooped-out dissolved vacuums to replenish teh population whereever it shows any signs of intelligence (just a precaution should a sentient lifeform ever appear).

    Happy gibbering!

  5. weylguy says

    At one point does one just give up and hope for the utter dissolution of Amerika?

  6. wzrd1 says

    @birgerjohansson, nope. Tucker’s far more toxic than a mere Portuguese man o’ war.

    As for the alleged and highly probable shopper interaction, such a person would be in grave danger of being tripped with my cane – repeatedly.

  7. hemidactylus says

    My supermarket has +90% mask compliance now. The dealership where I got my Civic serviced today OTOH was a maskless covidiot nightmare. I’ll be dead soon. There was minimal staff masking. Actually a few customers were masked. Overall I would guess less than 10% overall in the building combining customers and staff and that may be charitable. Floriduh!

  8. unclefrogy says

    I have avoided going out as much as possible and have been pretty successful so far the few times I gave had to i do not wear a cloth mask. I have because of the work I do have a very good canister type respirator which i wear instead.
    I was at a customers home the other day and they offered me a mask because they thought the one I was wearing looked “ugly”.
    I declined and finished as quick as I could and left.
    the only thing I have done to facilitate the better fit is trim my beard. It fits comfortably and is only a slight bother better then getting sick and dying. As for being worried about what I look like that ship has sailed.
    uncle frogy