A major award!

It’s indescribably beautiful!

It was a stunning prize notification to arrive in my email this morning. There’s even a press release!

Pharyngula has been selected for the 2020 Best of Morris Award in the Business Services category by the Morris Award Program.

Each year, the Morris Award Program identifies companies that we believe have achieved exceptional marketing success in their local community and business category. These are local companies that enhance the positive image of small business through service to their customers and our community. These exceptional companies help make the Morris area a great place to live, work and play.

Various sources of information were gathered and analyzed to choose the winners in each category. The 2020 Morris Award Program focuses on quality, not quantity. Winners are determined based on the information gathered both internally by the Morris Award Program and data provided by third parties.

Look at that! Finally appreciated by my local community…except there’s this little voice in my head wondering what “marketing” I’ve done, or how, as a “small business”, I have contributed to community service. What information did they gather? Aww, what the hell, it’s a Major Award! I should put it in my front window!

So I was going to claim my award, but there’s a little comment in my notice.

As an Award recipient, there is no membership requirement. We simply ask each award recipient to pay for the cost of their awards. The revenue generated by the Morris Award Program helps to pay for operational support, marketing and partnership programs in support of local businesses. Congratulations on your selection.

Oh. I can get a nice plaque for $150, or a crystal award for $200, or both for $229.

Gosh. My pride is slightly deflated.


  1. chigau (違う) says

    If I send them $150 will they send me an award?
    I’d like one for 1988 and payment will be in Canadian coins of small denominations.

  2. mamba says

    PAY for it? It’s right there, they already made it and you “won” it. If you don’t accept, then they made this object out of their own pocket for nothing! Just insist they send it to you as is and when they complain, remind them if you have to buy it, then you didn’t win it.

    They must think you’re pretty dumb!

  3. jrkrideau says

    @ 3 chigau
    payment will be in Canadian coins of small denominations

    Still trying to get rid of the last of the pennies?

  4. bcwebb says

    So just to be clear, you received a picture of what your award could look like, not the actual chunk of plastic.
    I get these for patent filings.

    You can’t just get the plastic ones; you have to go for the deluxe, embossed, simulated-gold obelisk in a deep-grain Madrid vinyl carrying case and have your name engraved on their commemorative wall of champions in the Morris business leaders Hall of Fame located somewhere at PO Box 219.

  5. chrislawson says

    I guess if you pay up, you’ve provided a service to a business. It’s a self-affirming award.

  6. moxie says

    there’s this little voice in my head wondering what “marketing” I’ve done, or how, as a “small business”, I have contributed to community service.

    didn’t you map the location of all the spiders in morris?

  7. tacitus says

    So, as phoney as all those “Christian Businessman of the Year” Awards that so often popup in the promotional materials of those plying their trade in the religious business speaking circuit.

  8. nmscorpions says

    This reminds me about notices I regularly receive congratulating me for being selected to be included in the latest edition of “Who’s Who”. Of course, they expect me to pay for the “privilege.”

  9. claudiasawyer says

    In 1968 I was notified I was in Who’s Who of American High School Students. I think they wanted $50 to send me the book.