Gwyneth Paltrow’s lap odor has sold out

Gwyneth Paltrow would have you believe that her vagina smells like this:

With a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent, this candle is made with geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed to put us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth.

I’m not going to test her claim that her crotch smells like a geranium soaked in Earl Grey, but somehow I doubt that it does, and also it’s rather egotistical that she thinks it does. People aren’t flowers.

It’s probably the least harmful lie on her site, at least.


  1. fishy says

    In business marketing class I believe they call that puffery. Any elsewhere it’s called bullshit.

  2. John Morales says

    Heh, “lap” odour in the title, vaginal odour in the text.

    (This is a job for Sacha Baron Cohen!)

  3. mailliw says

    Is there a gap in the market for a deodorant for the male genitals? It could be called CockSure.

  4. hemidactylus says

    They tried that. Given the astringency and other side-effects it was called “Ow! My balls!”

    I guess Gwyneth otherwise would have marketing problems with guys shoving eggs up into their umm…well there are other avenues she could approach, but she should try it first. Women should tell her the same.

  5. starskeptic says

    Sarah Silverman: a few men I’ve been with have told me that my vagina smells like a peach, a Peach-Tree dish.

  6. unclefrogy says

    the Chinese have used a peach as a symbol for suggesting the female sexual organs I believe.
    I thought it was the appearance never thought of smell before.
    I heard once heard René Auberjonois reading a very strange dark book called “Perfume” by Patrick Süskind very compelling and bizarre and when the subject of human scent comes up I always remember it. no movie could tell that story better then hearing him read it.
    uncle frogy

  7. Bruce Fuentes says

    The sad thing is she is going to sell hundreds of these. The worst rubes are rubes with money. Seemingly no matter how much education or money they have, some people will always be rubes.

  8. microraptor says

    I’ve seen it suggested that women use fruit as a means of dealing with vaginal odor before. As in, stick the fruit in there.

    Sounds like a fantastic way to get a yeast infection, or worse, to me.

  9. says

    Technically you can claim your genitals smell like whatever is inside the bottle if you rub enough of whatever is inside the bottle on your genitals.

  10. rrhain says

    While Paltrow most definitely deserves all the mocking connected to this candle, let’s at least be aware of what led to this.
    Specifically, they were working with new scents and for one trial, someone remarked of it, “This smells like a vagina.” It was not, specifically, Paltrow’s vagina that was being remarked upon, just a generic comment about the scent.
    They thought the comment was funny and decided to work on the scent to make it something pleasant and kept the name as a laugh.