Garbage in, garbage all over the place

I just bumped into this 2 year old article in Forbes. Forbes is all sober, serious, conservative bullshit, right? This piece isn’t sober at all. It’s about post-apocalyptic visions of the future and how billionaires are buying up vast tracts of land far away from the coast because they know what’s going to happen. Normally, I wouldn’t put it past billionaires to pull off all kinds of perfidious schemes, but in this case, I suspect it’s more that lots of acreage is available and cheap far inland, rather than that they’re preparing for doomsday.

You just have to look at the sources.

In the early 1980’s, spiritual visionaries and futurists provided clues to our changing planet. Often dismissed as crazy prophets, their thoughts for a new world were quickly ignored and laughed at. Gordon-Michael Scallion was a futurist, teacher of consciousness studies and metaphysics and a spiritual visionary. In the 80’s he claims to have had a spiritual awakening that helped him create very detailed maps of future world, all stemming from a cataclysmic pole shift. The result, while not based on any science, nonetheless provides a vivid and compelling picture of an Earth ravaged by flooding.

My emphasis. Note also that Gordon-Michael Scallion was a co-host on Coast to Coast AM, that pioneering talk radio show that let the conservative world know you could get away with saying anything you wanted on radio.

So, in the event of a post asteroid apocalypse, where are the safest territories in the world? According to several prognosticators and much criticized theorists, here is the detailed list of predicted land changes based on geological positioning. All post polar shift predictions are based on theories from Gordon-Michael Scallion, Edgar Cayce and others, and should not be construed as fact.

I haven’t heard the name of Edgar Cayce invoked seriously in decades. I wonder if people have forgotten who he was? He was called the “sleeping prophet”, because he’d do clairvoyant readings while pretending to be asleep, and made all kinds of goofy predictions and claims of past history (he was big on Atlantis stories and reincarnation). But that’s enough to tell you about the quality of the pile of maps which are published. In Forbes. With an author admitting that they’re not science-based.

Gosh. I’m going to have to buy me some ocean-front property in Nebraska while it’s cheap. I am a bit baffled about how so much of Florida remains above the waves while a big chunk of Colorado is flooded, though. And if you’re going to include Atlantis and Lemuria, you ought to also mark the location of R’lyeh.


  1. says

    The geographic pole shift(versus the magnetic pole shift, which has happened before and will again) was supposed to have taken place almost 20 years ago. May 5, 2000 was supposed to see a planetary alignment that would cause a catastrophic pole shift. It of course didn’t happen. Pole shift ideas date back to at least the 1870s, so all Scallion’s “spiritual awakening” involved was repeating ideas created by others.

  2. Akira MacKenzie says

    So much for the idea that the upper class is supposed to be smarter and more educated than we mere plebeians.

    And if you’re going to include Atlantis and Lemuria, you ought to also mark the location of R’lyeh.

    Oh! Oh! I call dibs on that great, big, non-Euclidian building over there! Does anyone else smell calamari?

  3. Jackson says

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but it looks like that is from the /sites part of Forbes, which seems like a personal blog hosting area where anyone can create a blog and they just pay extra for the address. You can find a lot more craziness and wrongness browsing the /sites part of

  4. says

    Forbes “contributor” articles are some random blogger – some are good, most are not. They’re not real “Forbes” articles unless they’re “staff” or “from the print edition.”

  5. Akira MacKenzie says

    foolishleader @ 5

    The folks at Delta Green made sure to “correct” Gustaf Johansen’s journal long, long ago.

  6. Owlmirror says

    New Zealand will grow in size, and will once again join the land of old Australia. New Zealand will quickly become the glory land, and ultimately become one of the safest areas in the entire world.

    Someone’s a fan of Zealandia.

  7. hemidactylus says

    We should cryogenically freeze Don Johnson and Phillip Michael Thomas so they can star in Sebring Vice.

    That California is underwater fulfills Maynard Keenan’s lyrics in Ænema:

    Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
    The only way to fix it is to flush it all away
    Any fucking time, any fucking day
    Learn to swim, I’ll see you down in Arizona bay.

  8. microraptor says

    Right, Oregon is going to flood while the Gulf states remain mostly untouched. This map definitely wasn’t made with an eye for topography.

  9. says

    My only exposure to Forbes is through their gaming subsection… which frequently goes on some pretty non-Forbesian directions that are borderline pro-consumer as it attacks a bunch of the big publishers and their bullshit behavior in recent years. Well, sometimes… other times not as much.

    Also, in my mind, Lemuria is populated exclusively by lemurs… is that accurate?

  10. Owlmirror says

    Also, in my mind, Lemuria is populated exclusively by lemurs… is that accurate?

    Lemures are ghosts.

    “A Specter is haunting the North Pacific — the Specter of Earth Changes. . .”

  11. Mobius says

    I have often joked about buying up land in the Yukon just above 200 feet above (current) sea level. That way I would have lots of nice beach front property in a temperate zone after global warming had taken its effect.

    Of course, global warming is not a joking matter.

    BTW – about that map. Where did the mountains in Colorado go? And what’s with those big patches of land off the east and west coasts that are currently under a lot of water?

  12. Akira MacKenzie says

    dWhisper @ 10

    As I recall, the theory of the “lost” continent of Lemuria–more of a land bridge, really–was originally postulated to explain how there can be various types of primates in both Madagascar and India before plate tectonics was a thing. However, the Theosophists and other occult loons got ahold of the idea and ran with it.

  13. DanDare says

    I thought R’lyeh was that big bit in the middle and that of recent years the madness and strange angles and perspectives have been on the rise.

  14. numerobis says

    Forbes sites is largely flaming bullshit. It’s just a blog platform.

    That said, Forbes the news side is pretty much all late-capitalist bullshit, so maybe it fits.

  15. Chakat Firepaw says

    @Akira MacKenzie #2

    Oh! Oh! I call dibs on that great, big, non-Euclidian building over there! Does anyone else smell calamari?

    You can have it, I hope you are a good baker though. If you go in there you will have to make sanity rolls.