A gathering of the broflakes

The Boston Straight Parade has faced a couple of major setbacks.

  • Tomi Lahren has endorsed it. That’s the kiss of death right there.
  • Their chosen “mascot”, Brad Pitt, has ordered them to stop using his name and image.
  • To fill the gaping void left by Pitt’s rejection, organizers asked Milo Yiannopoulos to fill in. Tomi Lahren pouts at the rejection.
  • Tragically and confusingly, desperate-for-attention Milo accepts.

    The organization later named Yiannopoulos, who is openly gay, as its grand marshal for the event.

    “I might technically be a sequined and perfectly coiffed friend of Dorothy’s, but I’ve spent my entire career advocating for the rights of America’s most brutally repressed identity — straight people — so I know a thing or two about discrimination,” Yiannopoulos said in a statement released by the group.

    “This parade is a gift to anyone, male or female, black or white—gay and transgender allies, too!—who will stand with us and celebrate the wonder and the majesty of God’s own heterosexuality. Men, bring your most toxic selves. Women, prepare to burn your briefcases! Because it’s great to be straight, and we’re not apologizing for it any more. We’re Here, Not Queer.”

  • The parade organizer, Mark Sahady, has been revealed to be a far right thug who has organized violent and anti-semitic events.

    David Neiwert, author of Alt America and a longtime observer of the US far right, believes the march is primarily opportunistic. For the Daily Kos, he described Sahady as a “street brawler” with “a history … of organizing violent events”.

    Neiwert told the Guardian: “What we know about these street-fighting gangs is that they latch on to whatever they can in order to go out and fight with the left.”

    He added: “In this case it’s so utterly juvenile that it’s like a sixth-grade taunt.”

There’s a word for these people.


  1. says

    I’m 65 years old and as fully hetero as they come. I have never, at any time, for any single second, noticed my identity being repressed, brutally or otherwise. What the fuck are they on about?

  2. nomadiq says

    When life has always been about you, and suddenly it is not: oppression!

  3. DanDare says

    My mind recoils in horror at the imagined brutality of the fictional oppression that we poor, underprivelledged straight folks have to agonizingly suffer in our own mind spaces. Oh the humanity.

  4. andiek712 says

    Speaking as a straight woman, why do I have to burn my briefcase? Can’t I be straight AND have a briefcase? Are there men who’s heterosexuality is so precarious that they’ll fall off the edge and into homosexuality abyss if I happen to possess a useful business accessory?

    Also, I’ve got to say that I’ve never, for even a millisecond, ever felt oppressed for being straight, but then I’m a Canadian. Is there something going on in the States that we’re not hearing about? We often don’t get all the imaginary news up here.

  5. curbyrdogma says

    Just as they’ve co-opted patriotism for America, right-wing assholes are trying to co-opt heterosexuality, lol. …Right.

    I think there needs to be a dismissive term beyond “broflake” that sums up using such obvious disingenuity as a means to manufacture “controversy.” They just want any attention at all, even if it’s negative. It’s performance trolling, but it’s tiresome in the way that “we get the joke already, now stop pestering us with your rather obvious and juvenile sh*t-stirring attempts”.

    One way to dismiss them is simply point out that they’re protesting a little too much.

  6. lumipuna says

    Just yesterday, I was a guest at my first my first heterosexual wedding. The atmosphere surrounding the event was certainly oppressive, but there was also some electricity in the air. The day was a hot, moist, thundering climax of an early summer heatwave.

  7. wonderpants says

    “I’ve spent my entire career advocating for the rights of America’s most brutally repressed identity — straight people“

    Is this serious? I find it hard to believe he’s not subtly trolling the Straight Pride group with a comment like that.

  8. says

    @Cervantes #1: You’re a few years ahead of me, but otherwise the same. And to those of you that are different: You have no idea what you’re missing. Being a white, middle-aged straight man is the best f*ing thing ever. Forget about sliced bread, this is far, far better.
    If you are white, straight and male and whine about your life you’re a fucking cry-baby. If you can’t hack it you might as well kill yourself. This is as good as it ever gets.

  9. Pierce R. Butler says

    Crip Dyke… @ # 10: … a goddess somewhere that god’s been boinking?

    The ancient Ugaritic god El (a patriarchal figure later merged with Negev warrior-god Yahveh) had a wife called Asherah, whose name remains in the Hebrew Testament mostly in connection with the poles worshipped in her honor and torn down by monotheists at every opportunity. As no extant stories portray Asherah as virginal, we have the option of visualizing their sacred sex however we wish – even involving more than one position…

    Archaeology indicates Ugarit had dozens of temples serving hundreds of gods, so E & A had abundant opportunity for extramatrimonial dalliances as well.

  10. chigau (違う) says

    Howinhell did the NewGods ever take over from the OldGods‽‽
    That Elder mob were a bunch of party animals;
    eat drink and be merry for tomorrow you may be torn apart by some gruesome creatures but then reincarnated the next morning to do over and over with plenty of time for sex.
    Now we have this one-mistake-burn-forever BS
    I demand a recount.

  11. mountainbob says

    I can imagine one situation wherein one can be “offended” by a homosexual couple: That being that you imagine you’ve got a crush on one of the participants, and think you’d have a chance to score if they’d give you the time. Other than that, I cannot imagine being interested in the love-and-social lives of folks I don’t know; among those I do know, their private lives are none of my business.

  12. Akira MacKenzie says

    curbyrdogma @ 5

    ALL patriotism is fascism and right-wing assholery. Yes, even when so-called leftists dabble in it. No nation or government is worth and sort of devotion. Indeed, we ought to be willing and able to tear it all down and execute the political leaders at a moments notice, and replace it with something better.

  13. Akira MacKenzie says

    I suppose they’ll insist that since their male deity magically impregnated a female human (yes, even without all that messy, icky sex) to create their Messiah, their God must be heterosexual.

  14. says

    but I’ve spent my entire career advocating for the rights of America’s most brutally repressed identity — straight people

    Is Milo even taking himself serious here?

  15. Robert Serrano says

    Giliell @ 16:
    Milo is just desperately trying to cling to some shred of relevance. He used to be a well-funded troll who got to be the token gay at CPAC. Since the right dumped him, he’s reduced to a sad little troll sitting in the corner hoping someone will notice him.