To justify spending large sums of money on a “Space Force”, Ted Cruz argues that we need it to defend ourselves from Space Pirates.
During a hearing Tuesday of the Subcommittee on Aviation and Space U.S. Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) argued that a Space Force is necessary to ward off space pirates.
“Pirates threaten the open seas, and the same is possible in space,” he said during his opening statements. Since “the ancient Greeks first put to sea,” Cruz argued, we’ve recognized the “necessity to protect waterborne traffic and commerce from bad actors.”
And now, he says, it’s time for the Space Force to do the same in space.
<throws up hands in despair>
<throws plans for the day to the floor>
<sweeps arms across desk, throws everything to the floor>
<tears at hair>
<stares exasperatedly at ceiling>
<seethes & weeps>
There is no point to anything. Our Republican overlords are fucking idiots whose sole purpose is to distract and delay with nonsense while the looting proceeds behind the scenes. We are all so fucking fucked by these fucking clowns.
When is the People’s March on Washington? I’m going to go sharpen my kitchen knives while I wait for the main event to begin.