OK, maybe I won’t bother to come home

I’m scared, Mommy. I just saw the latest NRA ad, which is a warning to the “ayatollahs of Iran” about what insane, violent, stupid people live in the “heartland of America”. The only true Americans are farmers and miners and policemen in our “urban war zones”.

It’s racist as fuck, and as simple-minded and macho as a fat old white man can be (I can say that, it’s my demographic). And the NRA thinks it is smart and a benefit to their cause to air this absurd ad.

Well, I’m from the “heartland of America”, and I’m a liberal college professor, the antithesis of the NRA, and I’m an American too. Some bigot in a bedazzled coat and a cowboy hat doesn’t get to decree what constitutes a real American.

Is this really what we want people abroad to see as the face of America?


  1. treefrogdundee says

    Hey, the NRA knows their audience. These are folks who seriously think the UN is plotting to invade and confiscate our guns. Not the brightest bulbs in the Porta John…

  2. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Not the brightest bulbs in the Porta John…

    That implies they have some illumination. More like black holes be they….

  3. throwaway, butcher of tongues, mauler of metaphor says

    I live under the constant fear of an Iranian regime. I’m so glad the NRA is going to protect me from the eye-yuh-tollas and terrists. Iran is the new code word for the Bundy klan, right?

  4. procyon says

    That was Charlie Daniels. Always an asshole. But you can bet the NRA paid him a pretty penny for his assholism.

  5. Menyambal says

    Why was America in black-and-white negative?

    I’m a fat white guy who drives a stick-shift American-made pickup truck in the Ozarks, and I say that ad blew chunks. I also repeat that the Second Amendment has nothing to do with owning guns, and I am tired of people dressed up like cowboys trampling on the Constitution.

  6. Ichthyic says

    The only true Americans are farmers and miners and policemen in our “urban war zones”.

    there are farmers and miners in urban war zones?

  7. Ichthyic says


    “Americans who would… defend America with their bare hands.”

    uh… this is supposed to be a commercial for the NRA?

  8. numerobis says

    I feel good knowing that somewhere in America, an overweight 79 year-old stroke survivor with a pacemaker is “ready” to engage in guerilla warfare.

    For once, the youtube comments are not a total loss.

  9. Akira MacKenzie says

    I’m probably the among the least anti-gun of Pharyngula’s frequent posters, but this would be embarrassingly laughable if it weren’t so scary. If American gun owners wanted to be taken seriously and not verify every “redneck stereotype that their opponents have slapped them with, this ad is not the means to do it.

  10. F.O. says

    A gentleman on facebook once told me “Why don’t you come here in Texas, so I can shoot you in the head?”
    Now the ad about Iranians.. Doing what, exactly? Invading a country with 5 times the populations and several order of magnitude the firepower?

    Like, why are all these people assuming that the rest of the world is this impractically dumb?

  11. Anri says

    Menyambal @ 5:

    Why was America in black-and-white negative?

    Accidentally ironic spot-on visual representation of a worldview…?

  12. DLC says

    In a land where one of the two major candidates is proudly, joyously slandering and mud-slinging at his opponents and people love him for it ? That ad is tame compared to what you’re going to see come August.
    The NRA and Charlie Daniels are angry scared white people who want an enemy to hate.

  13. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    I didn’t know there actually are people who could wrestle an alligator right out of the water. of whom Mr NRA speaks. sheesh
    what a load of paranoia rantings.

  14. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    timeout still infests the entire site.
    even trying to use the [Tech Issues] button.
    I spent all of 30 seconds composing a problem report. clicking the [submit] button reported “timed out try again”. Instantly [back] and reclicking [submit] worked.
    so problem will problably happen yet again when I it the [post comment] button…3…2…1…

  15. Paul K says

    America’s not just black and white, but apparently it lives under in infrared sun. Most of the footage looks like it was shot with infrared film/sensor. Pretty, but an odd choice.

    These people have actual clout. Yikes.

  16. ck, the Irate Lump says

    You can certainly feel the insecurity behind all that bluster in the video. All that boasting is concealing a lot of fear, I’m guessing.

  17. says

    I watched only a part of it, and without sound.

    Did I correctly spot native american decorations on his jacket? If so it really contains everything that is American – arrogance, guns, threats of violence and things stolen from native people.

  18. khms says

    The thing that boggles me …

    If I were Iranian, I’d actually be much more afraid of Mr. “weak leadership” Obama and his drone strikes, than about this caricature of an American … sorry, he says “I am NRA”, so I guess it’s more like a caricature of an American club.

    And given that a lot of those same people he talks about have been around two of their neighbors and wrecked their homes, I’d say claiming they haven’t met is an interesting take on the situation. At least it looks like they know that Iran isn’t the same as Iraq, I guess that’s something …

  19. lanir says

    It’s the NRA. You’re mistaking it for having a political ideology of some sort. They don’t. The only goal of the organization is to sell guns. The rest is just random prattling to fool the rubes.

    To put it another way, if they could sell more guns by doing a super macho rap version of “I’m a little teapot” they would be doing that instead, no question.

    Also… What sort of imbecile would talk about US “urban war zones” in a serious context in relation to Iran? The whole country has a front-row seat for what’s going on in Iraq. Maybe they should go with that teapot idea after all… It’s at least internally consistent. And it would reach more people because the less testosterone-poisoned among us would spread it far and wide to laugh at, thus making it more likely to find all the eyeballs that could possibly be convinced to buy more guns.

  20. rietpluim says

    Please refresh my memory. When was the last time Iran invaded a country?
    And when the US?

  21. Ichthyic says

    When was the last time Iran invaded a country?

    They directly funded and supplied troops in both Syria and the Houtis in Yemen.

    they by proxy are currently at war with Saudi Arabia.

    no shit.

    the suni/shiite wars still have a lot of gas in them… pardon the pun.

  22. janiceintoronto says

    So the best the NRA could come up with is a deluded old has-been.

    This gives me hope.

  23. says


    So they haven’t invaded anyone is what you’re saying?

    And frankly in a war between the KSA and Iran, I think I’d have to root for the Iranians. As atrocious as the Iranian regime is, Saudi Arabia is SO much worse, and frankly Iranian support of the Houthis sorta pales in comparison to Saudi Arabia’s ongoing outright attempt to annex Yemen (an outrage that our government supports, characteristically).

  24. Ichthyic says

    So they haven’t invaded anyone is what you’re saying?


    if you are literally saying an invasion by proxy is not an invasion?

    is that what you are trying to say?

    because if so… you’re being an ass.

    and you have NO FUCKING CLUE what the Houthis have been doing in Yemen.

    seriously, this is not hard to look up.

    I’m hardly excusing SA for their role in the sectarian wars, but you excusing Iran is entirely laughable.

  25. says

    Yeah it’s amusing that the NRA’s idea of “pop culture outreach” is a rock musician(Ted Nugent) who hasn’t had a major hit since 1990, and not under his own name to boot, and a country musician who isn’t exactly a big name anymore either. I can just imagine them finding some younger actor to shill for them, only for it to be someone who’s a B lister, or has some amusing problem, like being a Canadian.

    Having said that the NRA’s “We need a good guy with a gun everywhere” viewpoint gets regular advertising in pop culture, both American and from elsewhere. For all the talk of supposedly liberal Hollywood a large percentage of heroes in Hollywood productions are soldiers, cops, and spies of one sort or another, and the most common method of resolving whatever threat is central to the plot of a TV show or movie involving those characters is through using guns, often handguns in situations that in the real world handguns would be a poor choice. The good guys never shoot the wrong people, never resort to violence when an obvious non-violent alternative is available, and a lot of the storylines reinforce the status quo in society.

  26. Jado says

    “Is this really what we want people abroad to see as the face of America?”


    No. No, it’s not what “we” want, but it is definitely what the NRA wants people abroad to think. That way, people abroad think “Damn, those Americans are batshit crazy for NO REASON AT ALL.” and the NRA gets to say “”THEY all think you’re crazy!!! You need more guns to defend yourself when they come for you!!!”

    And the NRA makes more money.

    Come on, don’t be foolish. We both know the name of this game. And it sure as hell ain’t “pugilism.”


  27. moarscienceplz says

    If ol’ Charlie is so gosh-durned proud of hard-rock miners, he must’ve recorded a lot of videos pointing out how Don Blankenship was sending miners into his mines with the gas alarms disabled so they died by the dozens in explosions, right?

  28. Numenaster says

    Apparently real Americans don’t live in cities at all, other than the cops. Even though 80% of the US population lives in cities. I guess 80% of the US population is immigrants.

  29. Menyambal says

    That video is practically treason. “All real Americans hate the president, come rescue us. We are at war with ourselves, come bring us peace. The president and the military can’t stop you. All you’ll have to face is alligator wrestlers and those clowns from the wildlife refuge.”

    As has been said, the NRA is a tool of the gun manufacturers. There is no Constitutional right to own guns, there is no need to own guns. There is only a need to sell guns.

  30. ck, the Irate Lump says

    lanir wrote:

    Also… What sort of imbecile would talk about US “urban war zones” in a serious context in relation to Iran?

    I just assumed that was coded racism. “Urban anything” tends to mean scary black young men doing something.

    Numenaster wrote:

    Apparently real Americans don’t live in cities at all, other than the cops.

    Cities are full of the evil, evil liberals and shiftless minorities that want to subjugate good god-fearing [white] Christian men. Ya know, Real Americans like he is. /s

  31. Ichthyic says

    There is no Constitutional right to own guns, there is no need to own guns. There is only a need to sell guns.


  32. treefrogdundee says

    “There is no Constitutional right to own guns”

    Actually, there is. Besides being written in plain English, the Supreme Court cleared that up a number of years ago. Not that this prevents the ability to regulate guns.

    “there is no need to own guns”

    Tell that to anyone who has ever been raped. Or for whom being frightened for their life due to their race, sexual orientation, gender identity, etc is a daily activity.

  33. Vivec says

    Tell that to anyone who has ever been raped. Or for whom being frightened for their life due to their race, sexual orientation, gender identity, etc is a daily activity.

    Hi, all of the above here. Fuck gun ownership. The day we get rid of the 2nd ammendment will be one of the best in human history.

  34. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    there is no need to own guns”

    True. For most people, zero need. I’ve never needed one in 45 years of being an adult. The gun would just be a source of hurt, or, if properly stored, as it should be when not in immediate position to be fired, not readily available.

  35. treefrogdundee says

    Vivec, I’ve never been raped but did have the pleasure of growing up gay and black in the Deep South. When the inbreds made Matthew Shepard jokes in my direction, excuse me for taking them seriously. The majority of Americans will never be the victim of violent crime. So yes, technically you can say that most do not have a need for a firearm. But those who do should absolutely have a means of self-defense, which is a basic human right. Just like the NRA nuts, many on the gun control side have zero concept of nuance. There are more than enough ways to reduce gun violence while allowing responsible adults the ability to defend themselves.

    Talking about getting rid of the second amendment is just downright silly and pathetic because there is ZERO chance of that ever happening and only shows you have the political reasoning of a child. A loud and self-interested child.

  36. janiceintoronto says

    Charlie Daniels is America’s #1 Blowhard.

    The evidence is overwhelming.