Cars, eh? Let’ see:
– Drawn by demonic horses invisible to mortals
– Howls and growls like a demon would (especialls those “race cars” *cross-sign*)
– Fiery eyes (“Headlights”, such a nonsensical euphemism for the Devil’s Stare!)
– Emits noxious fumes straight from hell
– Drinks “petrol” which is made from a thick, black, oozing substance that top theologians suspect to be the blood of the Damned*
– Demonic speed
– Drivers have been known to be possessed by uncontrollable rage
– It can enslave its victims by making them look for a parking spot
– Comes equipped with all sorts of demonic subsystems, among them a “radio” (lets you listen to the wailing of the lost souls) and an “AC” (channels the icy winds from the outer circles of hell straight into you car) and A GPS tracker (allows the devil to track you everywhere you go so he can claim your soul before the angels find it)
So, yes, the devil is sure to be involved. Cars should be outlawed, along with bicycles, unicycles (but not tricycles), really expensive running shoes and airplanes whose flight paths happen to be near my house. Trains are okay as long as they’re steampowered and don’t go faster than a very old horse. We’re still waiting for a prophet to tell us how the Lord feels about helicopters.
*At least there really is an infinite supply.
Akira MacKenziesays
In fairness, I think it depends on the particular Amish community. Just a few weeks ago, in Madison, I spotted a family of them climbing into a SUV.
Just a few weeks ago, in Madison, I spotted a family of them climbing into a SUV.
Amish or Mennonites? I am living on about the other side of the planet but even I know there is a difference.
Personally, I don’t think their refusal of modern technology is the worst characteristic of the Amish. They seem to have a lot of other problems that are far worse. A horse and carriage for transport could still be a perfectly reasonable choice if you don’t have to go long distances. Electricity, we could all live without.
For a few hours at least.
Snarki, child of Lokisays
There’s also the (Amish or Mennonite) custom of not having a telephone in the house. It’s outside, on a pole.
I think about doing that, every time I answer a telemarketing call. Okay, that’s my #2 response, #1 involves automated drone strikes.
ragove314says
The Amish are quick to use modern technology (automobile, telephone, modern medicine) as long as it belongs to some other sinner, not them. In Pennsylvania’s Amish areas I have seem Amish on public telephones and in modern supermarkets. Hmm. How does that jibe with their primitive life-style. Ever watch “Incredible Dr Pol” on NatGeo. He will drive to an Amish Farm and treat their sick cattle and the Amish farmers aren’t bothered that Dr Pol has an evil machine and drugs developed in the 20th century. They are hypocrites in my book! The Amish movement started in the late 17th century and they seemed to have decided that that era technology was fine, but they could not advance from that. If the movement stated in 1999, what would they accept as OK? Maybe everything but the iPhone.
To summarize, the Amish do use some modern tools in particular ways, but they avoid those uses that would disrupt their social structure.
Tethyssays
Although the OP is mildly amusing, I see that it’s author and several commenters have no understanding of Amish religious beliefs. they don’t eschew technology because it’s of the devil. They eschew it because they take very seriously the biblical injunction that humans make their living via their own physical labor. Sweat of your brow. Self-sufficiency is the goal, and to live an honest, simple, plain life. Going into debt to buy a car and becoming beholden to the evil moneylenders is the sin.
He will drive to an Amish Farm and treat their sick cattle and the Amish farmers aren’t bothered that Dr Pol has an evil machine and drugs developed in the 20th century. They are hypocrites in my book!
Eschewing technology does not mean that you do not give your livestock adequate medical care if necessary. It is considered sinful to mistreat animals, and since many Amish do make a living as dairy farmers it is necessary for them to follow USDA guidelines. They also do not care one whit if anyone else drives vehicles, as they only hold themselves to their religious standards, not the Englich.
Callinectessays
A quick Google search revealed numerous successful dating websites specifically serving the Amish, so I am necessarily skeptical of the claims that they all eschew modern technology in every aspect.
slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem))says
Let me publish my ignorance of Amish creed.
My understanding is their belief in (in short) “pulling oneself up by one’s bootstraps”, meaning effort required for all legitimate production.
Machines make things too easy; things one could do with one’s hands, get corrupted by using mechanical (soul less) devices. EG telephones are pointless, better to go talk to the person face-to-face, rather than stay home and use that machine to carry voices further than natural allows.
They also allow adolescents a period of time to “go English”, and experiment with all that soulless technology the “English” are addicted to using. The desire to remain “pure” and “uncorrupted” is understandable but a little out of place.
If they can live without dependence on automobiles (without substituting it with cruelty to beast of burden), then let them. What’s the harm? To each their own. Their better off without the boob tube feeding them Faux Noiz donchno, and those Intertubez are better left unexplored. (says an addict meeself).
The OP’s posted meme pic, (I think) does a disservice to Amish: misrepresenting their opposition to the automobile. Rather than devil machine, soulless machine may be better representation.
Regardlessly, still approprate pushback to the Xian refusing to issue marriage licenses to couples she decides are inappropriate, with the lamest justification. Representing how allowing her motives as acceptable can go the way she don’t want.
humans make their living via their own physical labor
Yeah that’s why they have horses destroy their legs trotting on pavement all day pulling their little carts.
Tethyssays
slithytove
Machines make things too easy; things one could do with one’s hands, get corrupted by using mechanical (soul less) devices.
Not so much this. Not becoming worldly is a rather difficult concept to explain. The work itself being physically difficult and making you sweat, is considered virtuous activity for people. Being skilled enough to build a barn, or bake a pie, sew anything, or make delicious cheese are things you are supposed to take pride in. . Taking Pride in ones appearance or possessions is strongly discouraged. Hard work and exercise are an expression of their beliefs. Keeping your body healthy is also considered a virtue, Drugs and alcohol are evils to be strictly avoided. As Anabaptists, they also do not baptise infants. Only an adult is capable of giving consent, so only those who choose to remain part of the church and community as adults will be baptised into the church and be expected to adhere to their ways.
Standardbred mare, leaves the ring early. On her way out, Mennonite boys whip her repeatedly in the face. Russek will tell me later that some of the Amish and Mennonites can be “truly heartless” in the way they treat their horses, an observation that is, in all but the same words, repeated by a horse rescue worker who reported her experience at an Indiana auction on the Grateful Acres website: “The kill pen is full of Belgian draft horses, the powerful, living machinery of Amish farms. . . . [T]he Belgians in this pen are grievously and horrifyingly injured. They have been worked until they literally cannot stand any longer. . . . No matter that the animal has slaved . . . for any number of years, no matter that his swollen, oozing knee is collapsing at every forced step. Just as a broken plow would be sold to the junk man for the metal, these broken animals are sold to the kill-man for meat.”
Tethyssays
They have expert blacksmith’s and farriers ,and no Amish destroys their horse/livelihood by failing to provide shoes. The Amish can not be faulted for the existence of paved roads. The horses are pretty integral to non-mechanized agriculture, and their needs generally come before the needs of the human members of the homestead. Horses like to run and pull, and in fact need exercise in order to stay healthy. It isn’t hurting them to harness them to a buggy or a plow.
Tethyssays
Of course there are always assholes who mistreat their animals. I’m explaining the tenets of the belief system, not trying to claim that Amish are all perfect loving humanitarians. Mistreatment of animals correlated quite strongly with small-minded sociopath in my Mennonite community which I never officially joined as an adult.
Ah, but just wait until the Quaker in the next office over refuses to validate your gun permit.
wcorvisays
I think all but the last poster missed the point. Does a government employee have the right to use their religion to refuse to do their job?
My butcher is vegan, and refuses to sell meat, but that is a private enterprise, and he has that right. My pharmacist was catholic, and refuses to sell birth control. My new pharmacist is christian scientist, and refuses to sell ANY drugs.
drownersays
@19 wcorvi:
I believe the point was not so much missed as it was previously understood and discussed ad nauseum elsewhere. You are right, though– that is the point.
And I was personally enjoying the talk about Amish life.
Thumpersays
My butcher is vegan, and refuses to sell meat, but that is a private enterprise, and he has that right.
Doesn’t that mean that, by definition, he isn’t a butcher?
nomadiqsays
Did no one get the joke behind the image? This isn’t making fun of the Amish. This is obviously making fun of Kim Davis and her supporters.
nomadiqsays
Oh, I see it @19 now.
woozysays
@19 and @22 I think all but the last poster missed the point. Did no one get the joke behind the image? This isn’t making fun of the Amish.
Are you two freakin’ serious? Do you honestly think anyone missed the point of this joke? Seriously?
ragove314says
I would hope the readers would allow some literary licenses. I know I have simplified the Amish view and I understand the cartoon is making fun of Kim Davis. However, I still will argue that if it is important to live a 17th century life because it pleases an invisible sky god, but take advantage of 21st century technology when it pleases you is being hypocritical. And to disown your children because they choose not to live that way is abhorrent. And as to being “kind to animals” the worst puppy mills in the country are in the Amish farms of Pennsylvania (e.g. http://abcnews.go.com/Business/story?id=7187712).
That’s my 2 cents and all I am going to add to this discussion.
Rich Woodssays
@komarov #3:
We’re still waiting for a prophet to tell us how the Lord feels about helicopters.
He says helicopters are effing genius.
You may now bow down before me.
Reginald Selkirksays
I am determined to miss the point of the joke if you all will let me.
Tethyssays
We realize it is a meant to be light hearted fun. I don’t think anybody is getting too offended, it’s just that some of us have first-hand knowledge of Anabaptist doctrine and culture. One of those tenets is to avoid relying on or conducting business with any institution such as governments and banks and utility companies. They make as few concessions to the Government as possible. No Old Amish is ever going to be county clerk. Be not beholden to the works of man.
I still will argue that if it is important to live a 17th century life because it pleases an invisible sky god, but take advantage of 21st century technology when it pleases you is being hypocritical
They do not think god ordered them to live in that manner. They live in that manner so as to not be led into the rat race that is the modern world. It is your misunderstanding of the moral philosophy behind the rejection of modern culture that makes it seem hypocritical. As far as using modern medicine is concerned, Thou shalt not kill takes precedence over any quibbles about outside influence. That you would deny an animal or Amish necessary life-saving medical care to spite them for their philosophy is pretty abhorrent. I do not understand the rancor at people for being self sufficient and shunning electricity and cars. It’s not the Amish who are contributing to global warming.
Saadsays
Mike Huckabee’s petition on his website to President Obama and AG Loretta Lynch:
You must immediately end this government’s criminalization of Christianity. It is unconscionable that someone in this country would spend almost one week in jail for peaceably practicing their faith. Exercising Religious Liberty should never be a crime in America. This is a direct attack on our God-given, constitutional rights.
“Peaceably practicing their faith”…..
…. Mike Huckabee, you’re a god damned idiot.
slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem))says
Saad wrote @29:
Peaceably practicing their faith…..
…. Mike Huckabee, you’re a god damned idiot.
Agreed, Huckabee continually demonstrates his alternative cognition skills, yet technically he is correct. She was peaceably doing nothing, not ranting nor raving nor getting physically abusive; simply refusing to do something she finds abhorrent.
Huckleberry refuses to acknowledge that the actions she is refusing to do, she agreed to do by taking that job. (and that wasn’t just a job she accepted from an offer, but actually had to get elected to acquire it).
Also, Hucky refuses to see that she is being forced to do her job, not to change her beliefs. That she is jailed for *that* infraction (not doing aspects of her job), not that she is a Xian.
(IE anything to attack Obama)
..
also like to remind Hucky that the Constitution was written by actual people (they signed their names too, they’re right there on the doc itself) and not handed down from God into the hands of the Founders.
Then again, I’m sure Huck will rebuttal that The Founders were “divinely inspired by Gawd Hisself” that I am just distracted by a technicality, while he can see the deepities.
Dark Jaguarsays
Making fun of the Amish online is a zero-risk enterprise.
I can respect those who choose not to live with modern technology, though for my part I can’t imagine a satisfying life without it. It’s not just that I use the tools, my main interests in life are learning about how they work and building them myself. I couldn’t get any joy out of life without that.
My main concern is that for adults, I’m fine with that choice, but raising one’s kids without the benefit of it, they don’t really get to choose do they? I worry about that…
She’s obviously ridden in my car.
But don’t you know that there’s no cops or traffic lights?
Cars, eh? Let’ see:
– Drawn by demonic horses invisible to mortals
– Howls and growls like a demon would (especialls those “race cars” *cross-sign*)
– Fiery eyes (“Headlights”, such a nonsensical euphemism for the Devil’s Stare!)
– Emits noxious fumes straight from hell
– Drinks “petrol” which is made from a thick, black, oozing substance that top theologians suspect to be the blood of the Damned*
– Demonic speed
– Drivers have been known to be possessed by uncontrollable rage
– It can enslave its victims by making them look for a parking spot
– Comes equipped with all sorts of demonic subsystems, among them a “radio” (lets you listen to the wailing of the lost souls) and an “AC” (channels the icy winds from the outer circles of hell straight into you car) and A GPS tracker (allows the devil to track you everywhere you go so he can claim your soul before the angels find it)
So, yes, the devil is sure to be involved. Cars should be outlawed, along with bicycles, unicycles (but not tricycles), really expensive running shoes and airplanes whose flight paths happen to be near my house. Trains are okay as long as they’re steampowered and don’t go faster than a very old horse. We’re still waiting for a prophet to tell us how the Lord feels about helicopters.
*At least there really is an infinite supply.
In fairness, I think it depends on the particular Amish community. Just a few weeks ago, in Madison, I spotted a family of them climbing into a SUV.
Akira #4:
Amish or Mennonites? I am living on about the other side of the planet but even I know there is a difference.
Personally, I don’t think their refusal of modern technology is the worst characteristic of the Amish. They seem to have a lot of other problems that are far worse. A horse and carriage for transport could still be a perfectly reasonable choice if you don’t have to go long distances. Electricity, we could all live without.
For a few hours at least.
There’s also the (Amish or Mennonite) custom of not having a telephone in the house. It’s outside, on a pole.
I think about doing that, every time I answer a telemarketing call. Okay, that’s my #2 response, #1 involves automated drone strikes.
The Amish are quick to use modern technology (automobile, telephone, modern medicine) as long as it belongs to some other sinner, not them. In Pennsylvania’s Amish areas I have seem Amish on public telephones and in modern supermarkets. Hmm. How does that jibe with their primitive life-style. Ever watch “Incredible Dr Pol” on NatGeo. He will drive to an Amish Farm and treat their sick cattle and the Amish farmers aren’t bothered that Dr Pol has an evil machine and drugs developed in the 20th century. They are hypocrites in my book! The Amish movement started in the late 17th century and they seemed to have decided that that era technology was fine, but they could not advance from that. If the movement stated in 1999, what would they accept as OK? Maybe everything but the iPhone.
Hey, ragove314 @7,
Read this and learn something: http://lancasterpa.com/amish/amish-people/
To summarize, the Amish do use some modern tools in particular ways, but they avoid those uses that would disrupt their social structure.
Although the OP is mildly amusing, I see that it’s author and several commenters have no understanding of Amish religious beliefs. they don’t eschew technology because it’s of the devil. They eschew it because they take very seriously the biblical injunction that humans make their living via their own physical labor. Sweat of your brow. Self-sufficiency is the goal, and to live an honest, simple, plain life. Going into debt to buy a car and becoming beholden to the evil moneylenders is the sin.
Eschewing technology does not mean that you do not give your livestock adequate medical care if necessary. It is considered sinful to mistreat animals, and since many Amish do make a living as dairy farmers it is necessary for them to follow USDA guidelines. They also do not care one whit if anyone else drives vehicles, as they only hold themselves to their religious standards, not the Englich.
A quick Google search revealed numerous successful dating websites specifically serving the Amish, so I am necessarily skeptical of the claims that they all eschew modern technology in every aspect.
Let me publish my ignorance of Amish creed.
My understanding is their belief in (in short) “pulling oneself up by one’s bootstraps”, meaning effort required for all legitimate production.
Machines make things too easy; things one could do with one’s hands, get corrupted by using mechanical (soul less) devices. EG telephones are pointless, better to go talk to the person face-to-face, rather than stay home and use that machine to carry voices further than natural allows.
They also allow adolescents a period of time to “go English”, and experiment with all that soulless technology the “English” are addicted to using. The desire to remain “pure” and “uncorrupted” is understandable but a little out of place.
If they can live without dependence on automobiles (without substituting it with cruelty to beast of burden), then let them. What’s the harm? To each their own. Their better off without the boob tube feeding them Faux Noiz donchno, and those Intertubez are better left unexplored. (says an addict meeself).
The OP’s posted meme pic, (I think) does a disservice to Amish: misrepresenting their opposition to the automobile. Rather than , soulless machine may be better representation.
Regardlessly, still approprate pushback to the Xian refusing to issue marriage licenses to couples she decides are inappropriate, with the lamest justification. Representing how allowing her motives as acceptable can go the way she don’t want.
Category error: cars actually exist.
humans make their living via their own physical labor
Yeah that’s why they have horses destroy their legs trotting on pavement all day pulling their little carts.
slithytove
Not so much this. Not becoming worldly is a rather difficult concept to explain. The work itself being physically difficult and making you sweat, is considered virtuous activity for people. Being skilled enough to build a barn, or bake a pie, sew anything, or make delicious cheese are things you are supposed to take pride in. . Taking Pride in ones appearance or possessions is strongly discouraged. Hard work and exercise are an expression of their beliefs. Keeping your body healthy is also considered a virtue, Drugs and alcohol are evils to be strictly avoided. As Anabaptists, they also do not baptise infants. Only an adult is capable of giving consent, so only those who choose to remain part of the church and community as adults will be baptised into the church and be expected to adhere to their ways.
Tethys @9:
Har har. A horse sold to a “kill buyer”;
They have expert blacksmith’s and farriers ,and no Amish destroys their horse/livelihood by failing to provide shoes. The Amish can not be faulted for the existence of paved roads. The horses are pretty integral to non-mechanized agriculture, and their needs generally come before the needs of the human members of the homestead. Horses like to run and pull, and in fact need exercise in order to stay healthy. It isn’t hurting them to harness them to a buggy or a plow.
Of course there are always assholes who mistreat their animals. I’m explaining the tenets of the belief system, not trying to claim that Amish are all perfect loving humanitarians. Mistreatment of animals correlated quite strongly with small-minded sociopath in my Mennonite community which I never officially joined as an adult.
Ah, but just wait until the Quaker in the next office over refuses to validate your gun permit.
I think all but the last poster missed the point. Does a government employee have the right to use their religion to refuse to do their job?
My butcher is vegan, and refuses to sell meat, but that is a private enterprise, and he has that right. My pharmacist was catholic, and refuses to sell birth control. My new pharmacist is christian scientist, and refuses to sell ANY drugs.
@19 wcorvi:
I believe the point was not so much missed as it was previously understood and discussed ad nauseum elsewhere. You are right, though– that is the point.
And I was personally enjoying the talk about Amish life.
Doesn’t that mean that, by definition, he isn’t a butcher?
Did no one get the joke behind the image? This isn’t making fun of the Amish. This is obviously making fun of Kim Davis and her supporters.
Oh, I see it @19 now.
@19 and @22
I think all but the last poster missed the point.
Did no one get the joke behind the image? This isn’t making fun of the Amish.
Are you two freakin’ serious? Do you honestly think anyone missed the point of this joke? Seriously?
I would hope the readers would allow some literary licenses. I know I have simplified the Amish view and I understand the cartoon is making fun of Kim Davis. However, I still will argue that if it is important to live a 17th century life because it pleases an invisible sky god, but take advantage of 21st century technology when it pleases you is being hypocritical. And to disown your children because they choose not to live that way is abhorrent. And as to being “kind to animals” the worst puppy mills in the country are in the Amish farms of Pennsylvania (e.g. http://abcnews.go.com/Business/story?id=7187712).
That’s my 2 cents and all I am going to add to this discussion.
@komarov #3:
He says helicopters are effing genius.
You may now bow down before me.
I am determined to miss the point of the joke if you all will let me.
We realize it is a meant to be light hearted fun. I don’t think anybody is getting too offended, it’s just that some of us have first-hand knowledge of Anabaptist doctrine and culture. One of those tenets is to avoid relying on or conducting business with any institution such as governments and banks and utility companies. They make as few concessions to the Government as possible. No Old Amish is ever going to be county clerk. Be not beholden to the works of man.
They do not think god ordered them to live in that manner. They live in that manner so as to not be led into the rat race that is the modern world. It is your misunderstanding of the moral philosophy behind the rejection of modern culture that makes it seem hypocritical. As far as using modern medicine is concerned, Thou shalt not kill takes precedence over any quibbles about outside influence. That you would deny an animal or Amish necessary life-saving medical care to spite them for their philosophy is pretty abhorrent. I do not understand the rancor at people for being self sufficient and shunning electricity and cars. It’s not the Amish who are contributing to global warming.
Mike Huckabee’s petition on his website to President Obama and AG Loretta Lynch:
“Peaceably practicing their faith”…..
…. Mike Huckabee, you’re a god damned idiot.
Saad wrote @29:
Agreed, Huckabee continually demonstrates his alternative cognition skills, yet technically he is correct. She was peaceably doing nothing, not ranting nor raving nor getting physically abusive; simply refusing to do something she finds abhorrent.
Huckleberry refuses to acknowledge that the actions she is refusing to do, she agreed to do by taking that job. (and that wasn’t just a job she accepted from an offer, but actually had to get elected to acquire it).
Also, Hucky refuses to see that she is being forced to do her job, not to change her beliefs. That she is jailed for *that* infraction (not doing aspects of her job), not that she is a Xian.
(IE anything to attack Obama)
..
also like to remind Hucky that the Constitution was written by actual people (they signed their names too, they’re right there on the doc itself) and not handed down from God into the hands of the Founders.
Then again, I’m sure Huck will rebuttal that The Founders were “divinely inspired by Gawd Hisself” that I am just distracted by a technicality, while he can see the deepities.
Making fun of the Amish online is a zero-risk enterprise.
I can respect those who choose not to live with modern technology, though for my part I can’t imagine a satisfying life without it. It’s not just that I use the tools, my main interests in life are learning about how they work and building them myself. I couldn’t get any joy out of life without that.
My main concern is that for adults, I’m fine with that choice, but raising one’s kids without the benefit of it, they don’t really get to choose do they? I worry about that…