A surreal American nightmare

Mike Huckabee is considering a presidential run in 2016. While your brain is reeling at that possibility, here’s a Huckabee-Nugent duet on Cat Scratch Fever.

For the love of Jebus, don’t actually watch the video — it’s just too alien and inimical to intelligent life to be tolerated. All you need to do is consider…Huckabee. Nugent. Singing the words, “Well, I make the pussy purr with the stroke of my hand, They know they gettin’ it from me, They know just where to go when they need their lovin’ man.” In the White House.

HP Lovecraft ain’t got nothin’ on modern American politics for inducing mad nightmares.


  1. Tony! The Queer Shoop says

    Oh come on PZ, how bad would a President Huck actually be?

    (asked w/out the slightest bit of seriousness)

  2. Janine the Jackbooted Emotion Queen says

    Sorry PZ but there is no way that I will willingly press play on that.

  3. robro says

    Doesn’t surprise me. Hate to break the news to you if you didn’t already know, but Rick Perry is running, too. Christie may still give it a shot. And, the Mitt has been mentioned. I wouldn’t be half surprised to hear Sarah is running for somebody’s party (though certainly not PETA), and perhaps what’s-her-name from up there in Minnesota will entertain a nomination. However, the biggest dog in the Republican barn is clearly Jeb Bush. They’re practically begging him to go for it this time…to hell with noise about a Bush dynasty…I suspect because he’s one of the few with a modicum of credibility and enough sense of decorum not to act like an idiot Southern yokel preacher. In any case, he’s made some similar moves in recent weeks to free himself to run.

  4. lakitha tolbert says

    I’m sorry,PZ, but I just can’t hear that man’s name without thinking about bad weed, thanks to Katt Williams, who mentions buying a cheap bag of Huckabee.

  5. Janine the Jackbooted Emotion Queen says

    Robro, read up about what Jeb Bush did during the Terri Schiavo case. Any idiot yokel preacher would be proud to claim his actions as their own.

  6. says

    Janine, I think both you and Robro are right. Jeb has the sense not to look and sound like Elmer Gantry, but his actions are just as idiotic hateful and spiteful as any firebreathing fundie. Makes him an almost perfect Republican candidate, he can appeal to the lunatics and to the slightly less crazy.

  7. Francisco Bacopa says

    Is that one of those higher end Ibanez basses? Huckabee has good taste if it is. I played one once in a store. Very light and responsive. I still prefer the Fender J family though.

    So the Republicans are probably going to run a crazy person or a cartoon villain. How can the Democrats best counter this? Is there any hope Al Franken will run? I think he would be brutal in debates.

  8. Al Dente says

    Did Jesus tell Huckabee to run? He can’t be a genuine Republican candidate without Jesus’s endorsement, delivered as “Jesus told me to run!”

  9. Janine the Jackbooted Emotion Queen says

    Waiting for a nine hundred feet Jesus to make the grand announcement.

  10. guitaro says

    @Al Dente #8

    “Did Jesus tell Huckabee to run?”

    Has anyone who’s claimed that ever actually won? It seems the voice that tells these yahoos to run forget to tell everyone else to vote for them.

  11. mykroft says

    Urm, I think I meant God, Oil and Peacemakers party. They definitely are not peace keepers.

  12. robro says

    Janine — I know what he did in that case. I also know what he did to library funding in Florida. He’s also done a lot of anti-abortion things and is popular with those factions opposed to a woman’s right to choose. I do not think a lot of him, and was not suggesting that he’s a good option. I wouldn’t vote for him. He just looks better than other Republican candidates in the recent past, and that’s about it. Perhaps the only upside is he isn’t a hardcore Tea Bagger as far as I know. It seems Rush Limbaugh doesn’t like him, and thinks he’s running merely to torpedo the Tea Party, which would be a blessing if it were true. However, I suspect Jeb will find common cause with the Tea Party folks and make peace with them…wow! perhaps Paul Ryan will get to run for VP again. Otherwise, Bush’s nomination risks splitting the Republicans for the election.

  13. mnb0 says

    Somebody should explain the American fundies what the meaning is of the lyrics. That will cost Huckabee a lot of votes.
    Huckabee certainly is no Jack Bruce, Gary Thain or John Paul Jones on the bass.

  14. Trebuchet says

    Huck can appoint Nugent Secretary of Defense. Or Secretary of Pants-Shitting, one or the other.

  15. Kevin Kehres says

    Piyush Jindal is going to run. Maybe Nimrata Haley. Chris Christie. Ted Cruz. Heck, Frothy Mixture might peek his nose out of his crypt. Ben Carson has been talking to dog about it.
    It’s wide open, and it’s going to be 2 years of popcorn material. It’ll be a glorious race to the bottom. And ultimately futile, because the nominating process is practically designed to select a candidate who will get crushed in the general.
    Huckabee is just getting in on the grift.

  16. daved says

    Somebody should explain the American fundies what the meaning is of the lyrics.

    Motorhead’s cover of the song is far better than Nugent’s original anyway.

  17. microraptor says

    Motorhead’s cover of the song is far better than Nugent’s original anyway.

    That’s because Lenny’s actually got talent. As far as I can tell he’s also a serious asshole, but he’s got talent.

  18. carbonfox says

    As a classic rock fan, I used to listen to some of Nugent’s songs in my “younger” days (inasmuch as the late teens are younger than the early-mid twenties). I’m ashamed to admit that before I became a progressive atheist, I actually defended my music selections to older conservative relatives by offering Nugent as a counterpoint to their claims that all classic rock artists were evil liberals.

    After becoming progressive (within months of moving out of my toxic home, lol), I still managed to compartmentalize and rationalize excuses for why I could listen to his music. But after I found out that he wrote songs about raping minors and actually adopted a minor specifically to have sex with her, the line was finally crossed. When he comes on the radio, I hit the next button fast because I don’t want to contribute one additional cent of royalties to a racist and sexist asshole.

    Shit like this–the Huckabee endorsement atop of an already huge and growing pile of stinking shit–continues to make it an easy decision to forgo his music. It’s almost unfathomable that anybody–particularly so-called pro-family conservatives–would consider him an asset to their campaign…but I guess if you view children and women as property to be bartered and used at will by their owners, then Nugent’s repugnant actions are par for the course.

  19. Dunc says

    So the Republicans are probably going to run a crazy person or a cartoon villain.

    There’s a pretty good chance of them managing to find someone who ticks both boxes.

  20. frog says

    mycroft@13: They’re Peacekeepers in the way Suzanne Collins uses the term in The Hunger Games.

  21. microraptor says

    Microraptor, #23; that would be Lemmy, not Lenny.

    That’s what I get for typing quickly.

  22. mugwump says

    Uncle Ted is a badass guitar player. That Gibson Byrdland he plays sounds amazing! He should of course, stick to that.

  23. Snidely W says

    Anybody know how the ratings for the Huckster’s cable show are doing? Could they use a boost?
    That’s my first thought when I hear about a potential new candidate. You know, following the Donald Trump model for ratings boosting. Lots of ‘serious’ talk about running, generate a lot of press, ultimately don’t run. It’s a much easier way to make good money than actually running for office. Ask Sarah Palin.

  24. Snidely W says

    And about Jeb, how can he possibly win any primaries (other than New Hampshire, maybe)?
    Heck, he has a brown wife and kids for crying out loud! What Tea Partier will vote for him? With said wackaloons dominating and determining the outcome of the primary elections, Who really thinks that he has a chance to win any primaries?

    If he runs I predict that he will be out before half of the primaries are over.

  25. a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    I don’t agree that Jeb is dead in the water. He’s not a dumb man, and he’s a careful politician and accomplished liar. Lying will be what it’s all about. He’ll lie through his teeth to win over the baggers and then tack left if he gets the nomination sewed up.

    Also, be careful wishing for a wackaloon that will be easy to beat–that’s how we got Jeb’s brother.

  26. says

    Jeb Bush has more of a chance than Bobby Jindal. A large chunk of Republican voters will say “We do not want another Negro President!” The fact Jindal is of Indian descent won’t make it through their blinders.

  27. Snidely W says

    W. was never in the “wackaloon that will be easy to beat” category. When his name first popped up out of nowhere I knew that the big Republican money had decided he was their guy. No one outside of Texas knew much about the guy so it was easy for Rove & co. to craft a campaign based on more lies than I can remember.

    I’m not “wishing for a wackaloon”, I’m wishing for someone who can’t win the general election. And running against either Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren, of course.

  28. says

    But after I found out that he wrote songs about raping minors and actually adopted a minor specifically to have sex with her…

    I REALLY need a citation for that. Thanks.

    I don’t agree that Jeb is dead in the water.

    Neither do I. Once all the other reich-wing assholes have had their past track records exposed (including Huckabee, despite his long years of trying to pretend he’s the elder statesman), Jeb will likely be the only one left who can still look “moderate” by comparison. That will make him the ONLY credible candidate the Republicans can nominate.

  29. a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    Back in 1999, Dubya was the wackaloon who couldn’t win. It was clear he was an imbecile. He’d never succeeded at anything in his life, and the TX Governor’s position is a joke even the Leg doesn’t take seriously. He’s had to be bailed out of every endeavor he’d ever tried by his daddy’s friends. My wife said, “Damn, how do you bail out a President.”

    The answer: Elect a black man after him so he’ll get blamed for everything.

  30. says

    Cross posted from the Lounge:

    Highlights from Huckabee’s Faux News career:
    – Huckabee Falsely Claimed President Obama Grew Up “In Kenya,” Then Lied About His Comments
    – Huckabee Wondered If Obama Got College Loans “As A Foreign Student”
    – Huckabee: Schools Have Become “A Place Of Carnage” Because We “Removed God From Our Schools”
    – Huckabee Threatened To Leave The GOP Over Marriage Equality
    – Huckabee Spoke At Several Anti-Gay Rallies And Events
    – Huckabee Claimed Democrats Tell Women They Need “Uncle Sugar” And “Cannot Control Their Libido”
    – Huckabee Defended “Legitimate Rape” Politician
    – Huckabee Compared Gun Prevention Efforts To Nazi Germany
    – Huckabee Sells Out His Followers To Shady Groups
    Huckabee sent sponsored emails touting dubious Alzheimer’s disease cures from huckster Dr. Russell Blaylock. The emails were so bad that fellow Republican Scott Brown was forced to end his relationship with his email list manager, Newsmax, after criticism.

    Huckabee sent sponsored emails touting the stock recommendation of Gray Fox Petroleum (GFOX) by Tobin Smith. Smith is so disreputable he was fired by Fox News for the shady practice of paid stock promotion. A February 2014 GFOX email sent to Huckabee readers by Smith implored them to “Buy shares of GFOX now while you can still get them at around $1.00 and you could… TURN $10,000 INTO $282,000 in the next 6 months!” GFOX’s price has cratered and is now trading at a near 52-week low of $0.06.

  31. Usernames! (ᵔᴥᵔ) says

    If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.
    — Ted Nugent, April 2012

    ‘Next year’ means 2013, Teddy.

  32. Ichthyic says

    But after I found out that he wrote songs about raping minors and actually adopted a minor specifically to have sex with her…

    I REALLY need a citation for that. Thanks.

    you know, it’s like you’re begging people to do your research for you. Is it laziness on your part, or denial?

    took me literally 5 seconds to find this:


    there are links in the article to supporting documentation, or did you need someone to help you with that as well?

  33. Snidely W says

    I agree with everything you said except for the first sentence. Shrub’s poll numbers were always strong (among Republicans) leading up to and through the primaries. I don’t recall that the opinion that Dubya was a “wackaloon that will be easy to beat” was very common back then. It was pretty clear from the start that his campaign was the one that was getting the Big Money. With the rise of the “Tea Party” * the extremists have greater influence on the outcomes of the primaries. As you said earlier, Jeb will be lying his butt off through the campaign, but these days quote mining is de rigeur in Republican campaigns and he may have a hard time convincing the hard core, given his public record. He has a lot issues that he can be hammered at from the right.

    * Having been raised in Massachusetts I get annoyed every time I hear the term “tea party” in any context outside of the American Revolution.

  34. says

    Nice to know he was exercising his freedom to put everyone elses lives at risk by illegally leaving his phone on while flying. That’s patriotism for you.

  35. says

    This is kind of off-topic, but since Ted Nugent is a white supremacist and Huckabee loves/supports Nugent, here’s an update on white supremacist Representative Steve Scalise, another christian conservative. Cross posted from the Lounge.

    Rachel Maddow just buried Steve Scalise last night, and David Duke while she was at it.
    Maddow link #1.
    It’s a 19 minute video, but so worth the time. Best coverage I’ve seen, by far.

    Maddow link #2. Video with follow up interview.

    One point Maddow made was that Republicans kicked Cantor out and that got rid of the only Jewish Republican in Congress. Now they are keeping a guy with ties to neo-nazis.

    And to tie this all together, here’s an article about Mike Huckabee’s links to white supremacist groups. Huffington Post link.

    And here’s a Raw Story article about Huckabee giving a speech to white supremacists.