1. rq says

    Thanks for relaying the info about Ogvorbis. If there is any communication going back his way, I would like to send along some *non-intrusive gesture of support up to and including hugs* for him.
    Very much relieved already, though.


    Yup, I got portcullised. Hyeah! And that is one cute kittie.

  2. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    rq, previous thread #697:

    It’s all very empowering, but they neglected to mention the chilly climate effect. So basically if you’re not a success, it’s all your fault, because here’s a nice list.

    Silly liberals. They say the climate is getting too hot; they say the climate is too chilly. What will they say next? Obviously you can’t trust them.

  3. carlie says

    Oh jeez, I hadn’t even read the comments attached to the link I shared. Yes, please do avoid the comments. Sorry about that. (re: 700, last comment in prev. thread)

  4. rq says

    What will they say next?

    There is no climate?
    Or, no, wait, that would be the woo-ists. *magic* *spooky voice* There iiiiissss noooo climaaaaate, it’s alllll in your heeeeaaaad.

  5. rq says

    Some professional development on the line for next year’s Canada trip. Getting a bad feeling about being allowed to participate. Because technically I don’t qualify, but most of my qualifications are foreign, so they may waive some requirements, or they may not.
    (And a reason that I may not qualify is that the system here doesn’t allow me to qualify. *shakes fist at system* But again, I’m hoping for my ultra-super-duper-amazingly-connected network connection to get me through. Because foreign qualifications. I would like this door to open for me, please.)

  6. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    In Canada, rq?


    Probably back east, but if you get west, I’d love to show you the islands and the Lower Mainland. And, of course, I could try to arrange to be back east at the same time…mumblefundsmumbe.

  7. rq says

    Crip Dyke
    Mostly Ottawa and Toronto and Hamilton, currently… But maybe? I’ll keep you posted!

  8. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Please do.

    I would love to spend some time, were it possible.

  9. says

    *hands up* I, too, would favour the opportunity to meet you, rq. And Toronto and Hamilton, those are the names of two places near here! I wonder if that’s coincidence? ;)

  10. says

    Seconding rq‘s @1. Thanks Beatrice.

    Also … the warning about reading the comments … ah, too late. For those who haven’t … don’t.

  11. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    Also from Failblog this heartbreaking letter, which is described as a fail but probably for the wrong reasons. It’s certainly a fail on the parents part by forcing the gendered ‘boys toys’ on a boy who clearly doesn’t want it. Let him have the damn doll! I have a feeling this kid has every right to be pissed…

    (thankfully no comments though.)

  12. A. Noyd says

    I wish all my problems could be as trivial as my latest: Buying a novel on the assumption it’s the basis for a manga adaptation only to find out it’s actually a spinoff and the manga—which I don’t have—came first. (I have this obsession with reading the original story first, see.)

  13. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    Oh, Dalillama, I’m sorry. What’s your email address again?

    Is there anyone else I missed? I’m going on 24hrs without sleep and Little One tried running away from me walking home from school. She almost got hit by a car. I held her arm the rest of the way with her throwing a fit. She’s saying she doesn’t want me and that I’m a bad mom because I won’t let her play outside with her friends. She says the older kids (a grade or two above her 1st grade) will protect her. I’m now on alert because she’s trying to runaway.


  14. opposablethumbs says

    Beatrice, thank you so much for messaging on our behalf! That’s a huge relief. If there is any further communication at any point, I would like to add my voice to the many sending Ogvorbis lots of intercontinental support and hugs.

    As one who has been lucky enough to have the pleasure of meeting rq in yer actual real life (and in the real live Science Museum no less), may I just say that I highly recommend doing so! Hope your travel plans come to fruition, rq!

  15. says

    Talked to Partner today — he says they should be releasing him today. *fingers crossed* He also told me to “not worry”, which is the fastest way to get me worrying about something. He sounded like crap, but he’s upright and breathing.

  16. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    Portia, I sent you an email just now too. Hopefully I got the right email address.

  17. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    WMDKitty, I hope Partner is recovers quickly and is okay. Pneumonia sucks.

  18. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    I’ll get around to posting the Redhead’s turkey tetrazinni recipe tomorrow.

    Today was paperwork frustration. The “annual self-assessment”, sprung on us a week or so ago. How do you rate your technical skills? I have been here 25 years. I think everybody to date thinks I have them, or I wouldn’t be the go to guy for a straight answer….AUGH….

  19. Portia, in absentia says

    JAL! I got your email.

    Cuddly squidly!


    Glad to hear Og has responded.

    rq – *shyly raises hand to join group of those hopeful to see you while you’re (back) on the continent*

  20. Alverant says

    I turn 40 on Monday and feeling rather introspective right now (also feeling sick with a sore throat). I saw Vsauce’s recent YouTube video about illusion recently. He talked about the “End of History” illusion where people think that their personality is fixed in the now and won’t change from that point on. But it’s false because who we were 10 years ago is different than who we are now and who we will be 10 years from now.

    So I’m left wondering how I was different 10 years ago and how I’ll be different 10 years in the future. Have I improved in some areas? Have I gotten worse in others? Will I still like the things I like or will I move on to things I haven’t considered? Will I wind up liking things I detest now or 10 years ago? Will I rediscover things I liked before but stopped?

    And what about other people? How much have my friends and family changed? Did they see any change in me? If we started fresh, would we still be friends or have we grown so different that the only reason we’re friends now is based on our existing friendship?

    Like I said, a lot to think about as I recover.

  21. says

    bassmike (from the previous thread), lo:

    how to enlarge a gravatar

    (1) right click on the gravatar image, select “View Image” (or equivalent in your browser) to see the picture alone
    (2) look at the picture URL, it will contain a ?40
    (3) change the “40” to a larger number, say “400”
    (4) Voici! bei’hroam!

    Note that you can only enlarge it as much as the size the user originally uploaded it (which can be surprisingly big, actually).

  22. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    Anyone have recommendations on rock kits? I’m looking through them online now but considering the audience I figured you guys might know first hand about them.

  23. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @JAL, #30:
    One presumes you’re not talking about a classic 6 piece bass-snare-2 toms-hi hat-and-ride combo?

    I did once have a lapidary set up, but that was a long time ago and occupied much less of my time and attention than my rock set up.

  24. says

    Crip Dyke:
    To be fair, I rather like reading pretty much any of your comments. The rants are enjoyable though. Both for the sheer volume of information you often present and the entertainment value of watching you rhetorically shred someone.
    IOW, I’m gonna go pop some popcorn!

  25. Portia, in absentia says

    all my gift baskets with homemade goodies are complete for the support staff. whew. I’m a sleepy elf. good night all.

  26. says

    Crip Dyke:
    As always, well done.
    You hit on the points I’d thought about (and mentioned some I hadn’t).
    I find it bizarre that Dandridge views enforced segregation being the equal of people choosing where to sit.
    I also find the idea of being forced to follow the rules of Islam an utterly revolting idea. If I were a member of the audience, I’d be forced to sit among the men? Fuck that. I want to sit where I damn well choose. I, along with everyone else in the audience should have that right. No one should be forced to adhere to the religious principles of a speaker (it’s a similar proble to the fight for marriage equality in the US; the bible thumpers want to force everyone else to adhere to their rules). What’s next? Does a Muslim speaker have the right to demand people wear certain clothing?

  27. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @Tony, #37:

    Does a Muslim speaker have the right to demand people wear certain clothing?

    Yet more extreme results are actually inevitable: fundamentalist pastafarians are going to refuse to speak at any school that serves pastas that are not cylindrical, with a length vastly exceeding diameter or that refuses to serve conforming pastas.

    Soon school cafeterias everywhere will forsake a rich and varied set of pasta textures and shapes merely to preserve institutional flexibility to invite pastafarian speakers.

    Of course I, for one, welcome our new, clergy-of-a-divine-macaroni-product overlords.

  28. rq says

    CaitieCat, Crip Dyke, Portia
    If I have the chance and the time and the travel-availability on location (y’all know it’s a big continent, right???), I would love to meet with all of you!!
    That being said, for your potential planning needs – Ottawa’s the hometown and apparently I still have boxes to clear from my parents’ house (plus RCMP HQ (see: professional development) is in the Valley), so that’s a stop-point; Hamilton is the next obligatory stop-point, because Choir is heading over for this event (which is a great peek into Latvian / North-American-Latvian traditional arts culture). Toronto’s in between and my grandma lives there, so there’s that. The West Coast might be a bit far (sorry, CD!), but I have to visit Dana Hunter sometime, and she’s in that area, so my next NA trip (in…. x number of years??) will hopefully be to that part of the continent.
    (This long ramble brought to you by me, wanting to let you know that I will keep dates open for you!!!)

    For rock kits, I might recommend emailing Dana Hunter (her email is on her blog – En Tequila Es Verdad), she’ll probably know everything you need to know about rock kits and the best for starting out n stuff…
    And more *hugs*, by the way – I’m sorry Life is being such a shit to you now, and I sincerely hope things start improving for you soon!!

    Portia’s only that good at Pictionary because she is and elf and she uses her magical Elf Powers. ;)

  29. rq says

    My gosh, they brought Elvis back!!! (Seriously, or else he’s Ursula the Evil Sea Witch from the Little Mermaid and he’s stolen Elvis’ voice and keeps it in his shell necklace for this kind of performance.)

    Anyone up for a spot of Nutella…?

    The cutest 911 call ever, made by a very calm and collected 5-year-old. (Watch out for the subtle cultural misogyny rearing its head, though…)

    The NG picture of the day from a few days ago… It’s not that white anymore!

  30. Dhorvath, OM says

    Crip Dyke,

    I’d love to show you the islands and the Lower Mainland.

    I live on one of those Islands, eh.

  31. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says


    I might be having a dense moment but I can’t seem to find her email.

  32. bassmike says

    dõki thanks for the gravatar info. I’ve learnt someting new, which is always good!

    Tony! Thanks to dõki I checked your gravatar out. You can work the shaved head look! I just look like a middle-aged bald bloke.

    rq I wish we’d been able to see the photographic evidence of your pastry. I pleased to hear that you managed to get a car rather than the train.I’m not sure that large amounts of pastry would survive a train journey. If it was the UK it would be stale by the time you reached your destination!

  33. rq says

    Hmm… I know she’s made it public somewhere, may have been a blogpost. Hang on, I’ll take a look around and check my inbox and get back to you – if you would like to email me, try iz and a (all as one word, incl. the ‘and’) at google mailboxes dot the com.

  34. rq says

    Thanks for the image enlargement info!! Also, what does



    Picture a giant yellow-bread pretzel covered/filled with cheese, ham, onions, bell peppers, and mushrooms the width of a regular car trunk. :) Sort of like this. (Note: I don’t actually have a photo of the real rather large pastry. No hands free.)
    The train here isn’t too bad, but a pastry that large might warrant and extra ticket charge (like for over-sized luggage), and getting in is a challenge… The train floor is above my head, there’s about 3 – 4 steep steps to get into the traincar, and it’s hard enough lifting stroller-with-child (though fortunately child is now mostly stroller-less) – something of this size and bulk would result in an Epic Fail of Historic Proportions. :) So yes, I’m glad as well!

  35. bassmike says

    Dammit rq now I feel hungry!

    So you you go to the ticket office and say ‘One adult, one child and one pastry please’?

    It reminds me of a friend who went to the cinema with their friend and small child who had a moose cuddly toy. He asked for tickets for two adults one child and a moose. The cinema staff member remained stoney-faced. No sense of humour, some people.

  36. says

    Do I look like a trustful and kind person?
    People, I’m a godless atheist, how come your kids kind of gravitate to me when there’s something wrong? You’re raising them wrong!
    So, it seems like one of #1’s classmate’s parents have forgotten that today the afterschool daycare is closed. Could have been me. I asked Mr. to call me this morning and remind me.
    Guess whom the kid asked for help and who stayed with her until the principal took over?

  37. rq says

    Well, all I can see of you are some mask-covered eyes, so I don’t know how trustworthy you actually look… But I will say kids have some weird instincts about these things. Because for unknown reasons they gravitate towards me, too, and I’m not a kid person (despite having some of my own). Maybe it’s the lack of the frilly kiddie attitude that they like.
    So take it as a positive endorsement? :)

    Actually, I’d buy for one adult and one child (because even though children travel free, they need a ticket to prove they’re travelling for free), and hope the conductor doesn’t ask any questions about the rather large pastry: It’s a child! It’s fresh, not over the age of 6! I swear! Yes, it’s rather large for its age. No, it’s not luggage. :)
    I’m having some leftovers right now. Mmmmmmmm…

  38. rq says

    Is Pharyngula acting up a bit for anyone else? I can’t figure out if it’s the site or my computer…

  39. says


    Also, what does bei’hroam! mean?


    It’s supposed to mean “success [to you]!”

    The fact that I used it without providing any context also means I’ve been conlanging too much. Actually, my mind was apparently acting eccentrically last night, if I felt fit to throw a Kobold interjection in the midst of normal text, and to start talking about armies of trained rodents in the pope thread.

  40. rq says

    Haha, it’s okay, I like when people throw in non-standard words or phrases. Sometimes I throw in some French. Haven’t had much cause to throw around any Latvian yet, though. :)
    How does one pronounce that phrase properly?

  41. says

    And, yes, I’m experiencing some weird behavior from the FtB servers. Sometimes the page won’t load completely. Sometimes I’ll see the mobile layout, despite using a desktop computer.

  42. says

    Yeah, we have loads of languagey types around here. A_Noyd_sempai over there, she’s a serious boss-level speaker of Japanese (I dabble, chigau dabbles more than I do). Beatrice and Giliell and David Marjanovic (sorry, DM, can’t remember where your accent goes just now) are all here in not-their-native language, as I’m sure there are others who aren’t coming immediately to mind. Caine the magnificent (who’s been very quiet lately) speaks Lakota, and if I’m not wrong a few others too. I’m a translator (among my many hats), for German, Russian, and French to English, alongside being competent in Spanish and to a lesser extent Japanese (my literacy sucks in Japanese). And rq speaks Latvian.

    I’m quite certain I’ve missed a bunch, and my apologies; I’ve got to run to catch my bus for a doctor’s appt. And when I say run, I mean hobble in a sort of r shape. Thankfully, the bus stop is outside my apartment building’s door, and my bus transfer is about ten metres, and my doc is no more than 100m from the stop at their end. Yay for a relatively fine bus stop grid.

    Longer when I get back, people to respond to, hugs to assign, et c..

    Oh, and dõki – great ‘nym. :D

  43. rq says

    opposablethumbs is also a translator for all (or was it most?) or the Romance languages. I do translating on the side for EN-LV stuff, and some French, too. I’m pretty sure there’s a few more Russian speakers around, too (thunk?).

    Good luck, CaitieCat! I hope some relief is on the near horizon for you. *careful hugs*

  44. carlie says

    Do I look like a trustful and kind person?
    People, I’m a godless atheist, how come your kids kind of gravitate to me when there’s something wrong?

    You must have friendly resting face. It is both a blessing and a curse.

  45. says

    I actually do like children (should be a given for teachers…). And I have this weird idea that children are people. Therefore they get the people-treatment. So, curtesy demands that you try to remember the names of people you know, that you say hello when you meet them. So they are used to talking to me.

    Best luck with your appointment.
    I also speak Spanish, btw.

  46. says

    Greetings, Horde! I’m back. 8-) (Stupid Dysthymia has been causing some problems. Better now, I think, for now.)

    *Hugs* to everyone that would like one!

    I have apparently missed an awful lot. 8-( I’ve been trying to catch up on Teh Thread but only so much time in the day. I’m saddened by the notable absence of Og but gladdened that PZ heard from him. If you’re lurking, Og, I am adding my well wishing for you to the others.

    I don’t really have anything to say except I’m glad to be back into the swing of things. It’s still a little weird, to me, that you can miss being part of an online community. Also, get off my lawn, you kids!

  47. dianne says

    People, I’m a godless atheist, how come your kids kind of gravitate to me when there’s something wrong? You’re raising them wrong!

    Because you’re a kind, considerate godless atheist that likes kids and treats them with respect. And we’re raising them right. Though if my kid comes to you in a crisis, I will wonder why she decided to go all the way to Saarland to get help.

  48. says

    You never know where she might get stranded ;)

    *waives* at Ye olde Blacksmith

    Yes, FtB is acting up

    Also, if you ever need some spices to go with cherries and are fed up with cinnamon, I recommend pink pepper and rosemary.
    It’s delicious.

  49. bassmike says

    Giliell I think that maybe kids (especially young one) are more attuned to non-verbal clues from adults than older ones.My thinking is that if they can’t understand language very well, the only way to assess anyone is by body language etc. So you obviously have a way that kids trust! Before I had a child of my own, I found that friends children quite often gravitated to me as they do to you.

    Hi Ye olde Blacksmith I may count as one of the kids on your lawn, Sorry!

    FtB is playing up for me too.

  50. rq says

    Ye Olde Blacksmith
    So loverly to see you back!! Glad things have settled (somewhat).
    And what lawn? Or do you mean the fact that no one’s swept the Lounge within anyone’s living memory? I’ll have you know, there was a crowd of bassists in here yesterday. *muttermutterhabitsmutterbassistsmutterdirtymuttermutter*

  51. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    I’d be happy to play host to a gathering for those of us who can easily get to either Victoria or Vancouver, though by “play host” I guess I mean “help organize” since it’s not like I own property in either city. Heck, by that measure I could “play host on Bowen or Salt Spring, though I spend almost no time in either place. I have a friend on Quadra, too, though that’s rather far for most, and I don’t feel like I could impose on said friend anyway (we’re quite friendly, but the basis for our relationship is mutual good-friends, not our own independent history).

  52. says

    Was it Tony who posted about the jackass with the iPhone cookie last thread? He did it, got pulled over, and that’s how he learned there was a warrant out for him over unpaid parking tickets.

  53. says

    Sorry, the lawn comment was just me feeling old, what with all of the birthdays going on. Mine was a couple of months back and was… less than pleasant. To start with, there were entirely too many candles on the cake. Also, the depression was still hitting pretty hard. Wife and Daughter tried to make it cheerful but that just kind of made it worse. Then I would fixate on the fact that they were doing it because they loved me and yet it still didn’t help. Yada yada…ya’ll know how that whole spiral thing works. Thankfully, it hits that hard only sporadically and has abated dramatically since then.

    If you would be comfortable with it, I have some things I could send for Little One. If so, you can email me: rob at metalmischief dot com or go through my nym to my hopelessly out of date website.

    Re: running away: we had a similar situation with my niece (eerily similar). Unfortunately, I don’t have any good advice to offer but I think I understand some of what you might be feeling. *Hugs*

  54. opposablethumbs says

    Nice pics of your rocks, rq. However, I notice that one of them – one with an attractive dark-blue/pale-blue stripe pattern plus some green areas, some pink and some very pale yellow – looks rather squishable for a rock. Positively makes one think of asking for a cuddle, in fact ;-).

    I think the photo you referred to as a pylon is what I would call a breakwater. Is that Canadian usage?

    Good to see you back, Ye olde Blacksmith!

  55. says

    rq #57

    Oh, please do throw some Latvian! I never had an opportunity to have contact with Baltic languages before!

    Let me see… Actually this language has not been completed yet, and I’m not fully aware of what I’m doing with it, but I guess the closest I get to the way I’m pronouncing it is /bejʀrɔ̃/. The double trill is… shall I say, unusual? But I wanted this language to sound alien.

    * * *


    Hmmm… I got an error message when I tried to publish that comment. How come it got posted?

    * * *

    CaitieCat #59

    That multitude of languages is really exciting! As for me, I speak Wrong Portuguese and Even Wronger English. Sometimes I risk a little Obnoxiously Wrong Spanish.

    Thanks for the compliment, but I realize now my nym is actually wrong. I was trying to render “donkey” into Old Tupi or Guaraní, but it turns out “d” cannot appear in an initial position in either language — it has to be preceded by an “n”. So I guess a correct word would be “endõki,” but I don’t really like the way that sounds…

  56. says

    You must have friendly resting face. It is both a blessing and a curse.

    Mine has been characterized as “grumpy” and yet, kids seem to gravitate to me, as well. However, I am a big old goof ball that is not afraid to be especially goofy with kids. If the ground is hot lava, well, then I can’t very well walk on it either just because I’m an Adult *cue lightning and thunder crash*.

  57. rq says

    Couldn’t post at Indelible Stamp while at home; haven’t tried Mano’s blog in a few days.
    Am now at work, giving up on Colleague’s organizational skills.
    Took some photos of my old artwork instead; may or may not have the guts to post later.

    But I guess I have to get to it if I want to be home at a decent time. Skeleton’s on tonight!!

    (opposablethumbs That squishy rock is a highly-qualified and very perceptive sorting assistant. :) )

  58. rq says

    This is a version of what I’ve been trying to post at Indelible Stamp:

    (a reply to kiwirob)

    Therefore breasts bared in public would be a sexually arousing experience for many. (Men’s chests considerably less so for anyone

    Speak for yourself, but there must be hundreds (!!!) of people out there who become aroused at the sight of a bare manly chest. Won’t somebody think of them, and tell all these bare-chested men to cover up?? Errr, no, I guess people should just learn to control their urges and their arousals when in public spaces. Because someone baring a chest is not necessarily doing it for anyone’s arousal; perhaps they just like baring their chest. And what’s wrong with that?
    No, there is no good reason to have this double standard – cultural convention is not a ‘good’ reason.

    And please, men’s chests are just as sexual as women’s breasts. They’re just not marketed that way to everyone, all the time.

  59. says

    Back home, getting more horizontal, thought I’d say hi during my transition phase (rotation to horizontal).

    I know, that’s probably more about my orientation than you needed.

    The one thing I hate about being carless (my meds and driving are incompatible) is waiting at the bus stop in winter, where there’s no bench. In summer, I can just sit on the ground. In winter, to do so is to risk freezing my arse solid, because there’re several cm of snow on the ground. 15 minutes of standing up with nothing but my cane to lean on is a long long time. Yay for a nice bus driver who was kind enough to stop between official stops to let me off, and saved me 20m of walking.

    Physical immobility is a serious drag. :( I miss playing football so much. I’ll watch a game, or be playing Football Manager, and see someone try a move or a play, and I think, “Ooh, next time I play, I could – oh, right.”

    X-rays went okay, inasfar as something brutally agonizing can be said to be okay. Nothing the tech could do, in fact she was so nice and considerate that I made a point of asking at the desk how one went about rendering expressions of service satisfaction to her supervisor, and they said they’d pass it along to the manager. But lying flat on my back on a hard surface is simply agonizing, and nothing is going to make it not so. Drawing my knees up helps, by changing the geometry of the spinal curve and the table, but with legs extended, all my midsection wait is sitting on my SI joint, and the pain was breathtaking.

    So she was kind enough to let me keep my legs up until just before she shot the snap, and then when I could put them up again. Lovely and compassionate work. I should check whether her company has a website.

    I was three for four in my accent-guessing game today. When I meet people who have accents from Not-Here, I ask politely whether they mind my guessing where their accent is from, explaining that I’m a linguist, and that it’s entirely voluntary. People don’t usually seem to mind. Today I had a Polish lady, and a Turkish guy, and a bus driver who was (I’m pretty sure) Ethiopian, though I’ll admit I was cheating a bit in that she had clearly East African features, and she was speaking what I guess was Amharic or something like it on the phone before the bus pulled out. I got all three of those.

    But I was wrong on one. She had definite Slavic consonants, southern/westernish Slavic at that, but her vowels were spot-on Bavarian. So I guessed Sudeten Czech, but it turned out she’s a Slovene who moved to Muenchen around her 14th birthday, and later here to Canada.

    Three out of four’s not bad. The hard ones in this region are the wide variety of groups of people from the former Yugoslavia. We’ve got Croats and Serbs and Slovenes and Bosnians and Montenegrins and Kosovars and Macedonians, and it’s not always easy to sort those one from the other. I’m getting better at it, though.

    One of the long-term employment ideas I had was to offer a cheap class for immigrants on how to adapt their English accent to the local one, which is pretty bog-standard Toronto/southern Ontarian, with a few very small changes slowly growing. The locals say “bag” as though it had the same vowel as “bagel”, a sort of “bayg” sound in a folk-transcription. My kids all speak this variant.

    Besides that and conversational classes in my languages, I also want to get into dialect coaching for actors; I’m fortunate to be a fairly gifted mimic, so dialects and accents of English are a particular favourite of mine. I’m involved with community theatre, and I even have a friend who’s a TV agent in Toronto, so if I can get up to speed on the specifics of how it’s done (what exercises and such), then I might be in a position to do a lot of valuable and well-remunerated work. Yay!

    Now, to engage the cranes and lower myself into a horizontal orientation for a while.

    Enjoy your AROTE, Loungerie-lovers.

  60. says

    My post went:

    I fail to see the distinction between #7, #8, #11 and #4, or why the latter two are better arguments. Both hinge entirely on the idea that any violation of the social norms mentioned in #4 is intrinsically so shocking that people must be protected from it/can’t control their reactions to it, which is patently absurd.

    For context, the arguments in question are

    It’s social convention, no more no less.


    Cultural convention though it may be, female breasts have become sufficiently sexualized that it would result in increased sexual assaults [citation needed], and all sorts of other imagined bad stuff that would happen if we had a more casual attitude towards nudity in general. If the cultural convention were to change, then the law would not be necessary, but given the convention we must stick with it even though there is nothing inherent that justifies it


    I would argue that it is akin to public speech that causes a disturbance

    The one that rq quotes (#8) is also covered by this argument


    Yay for a nice bus driver who was kind enough to stop between official stops to let me off, and saved me 20m of walking.

    Yay indeed. That sort of thing should really be policy, in the context of disability.

  61. says

    Schmott Guy, it is policy, for anyone, after dark. That is, at or after dusk, any person can request that the bus drop them at any point which, in the driver’s opinion, is ‘safe’ from the point-of-view of “where can the bus stop safely?” and “where can I let my passenger off so they won’t be hit by a vehicle?” type of thing. Used to be offered to women only, but they sensibly moved to allow anyone to request it.

    They don’t make it a general policy in the day solely, I suspect, because of the much higher use rates of public transit (in this area, anyway) in daytime rather than at night. Upping the number of opportunities (by allowing the request generally) would bring the safety parameters below an acceptable rate for the bus agency. And laws about privacy make it tricky to ask someone to prove a disability, so they’d be very unlikely to be able to do anything but de facto offer the dismount-anywhere service to everyone.

    It’s tricky stuff, having a social contract that can hold even with the ever-increasing variety of ways in which we can all interact with one another.

  62. rq says

    I remember the fantastic night buses in the area! I used to take one fairly regularly from UTM back to TO, and it was the best thing ever. Back then, though, it was only offered to women. I’m glad they’ve extended the service!
    More importantly, I’m glad you had a good and reasonably successful trip. Good healthcare professionals make all the difference in going in for check-ups, and I’m super-happy yours did such an awesome and compassionate job.
    And hey, you’re good with accents! I wonder what you would do with mine? I’ve been called Danish and Lithuanian (close!), and that was before I lived in Latvia – that was me speaking my regular ol’ Canadian English without years of influence in-country (just the language as I was growing up).

    Yeah, I hope that a reasonable and good post from The Indelible Stamp goes up because of this conversation. The answer should be pretty obvious – declaring any arbitrary body-part coverable just means you can do that to any other part of the body, if enough loud voices (and yes, one really loud one can be enough) clamour for it. And that’s just not a happy thing at all. :/ Also, WTF that comment about men’s chests not being sexual?? Aren’t powerful-chested men marketed to women in magazines as supremely sexual beings…? (Although I got the feeling that the commenter was completely ignoring the female point of view…) Anyway. Ech. Oh well.

  63. opposablethumbs says

    Does anyone happen to have a good source for statistics on domestic violence in the UK? Much obliged for any links!

  64. Esteleth, statistically significant to p ≤ 0.001 says

    Hooray for considerate techs! Boo that it was still horrible.

    I hope your doctor(s) find(s) something useful in those scans.

    Out of curiosity in your accent-identification, have you heard anything in mine? Other than Generic American?

  65. says

    There’s a similar nighttime policy here, but we also have a system of discounted bus tickets/passes for the elderly and those with disabilities. There’s a procedure involved, which basically amounts to a medical diagnosis or being over 65. Given the same type of strictures re: the driver’s estimation of safety, etc. I can see extending the policy to the daytime for those holding such passes. During rush hours and on busy streets it would be problematic, and often decided against, but there’s loads of places where it wouldn’t cause much if any issue. That said, I tend to favor mass transit over other forms of traffic when I advise/pontificate about policy. I’d also rig the lights so that buses get priority, for instance.

  66. says

    Esteleth, a certain Midwest-ish flatness to vowels that would suggest anywhere from upstate New York across to Chicago; I’d have to hear a few more vowels to be certain, as there are different ones that are flattened depending where across that region you’re looking at. Chicago characteristically has the eh-uh shift (ɛ – ʌ, as in “best” sounding to most outsiders as “bust”), while Buffalo -Erie has the very fronted ɑ – a shift (“fawther” to “faahther”, if you will; “Tops’ Friendly Market” is a good example too, particularly in “Tops”, which sounds a lot like “taps” to a Canadian ear; cf also Tonawanda).

    To be honest, though, I was on a HUGE number of pills when we spoke, and I can’t remember a whole lot of it. :(

  67. says

    chigau: LOL, no, I find Professor ‘Iggins and I have rather different views on prescriptive vs. descriptive approaches. Although it is my favourite musical, and Pygmalion one of my favourite plays.

    It’s about the only show I can ever think might result in that long-held fever-dream of mine: “Is there a linguist in the house?”

    “Why, yes! I’m a linguist!”, I volunteer, and step forward with my bag to administer morphemes as needed.

    Then usually my alarm goes off, and I curse in a few languages.

    Dalillama That’s a good point about reduced-rate tix, and the ID therefor. I need to look into that, if I get my disability claim approved. :)

  68. says

    Of course, if I were setting policy there’d be no need for the reduced rate card; I’d far prefer to abolish fares entirely, and pay for the system with gas and if necessary land taxes.

  69. says

    rq, I’d probably have a hard time picking out a Baltic language accent, because one so rarely encounters people with them, even on TV and stuff. If I heard an Esto, I’d probably guess Finnish before I’d guess Estonian, because the odds are just that much stronger, and they’re phonologically pretty similar (well, and prosody and other stuff). But picking between Latvian and Lithuanian would be tricky, like picking between a Belorussian and a Russian.

    Ukrainians are easy (find a word with a “g”; if it’s “h”, congratulations, you’re Ukrainian!). And I can even get vague guesses as to region of Russian-speaking origin – I can tell a Rostovite from a Muscovite from a Piterburger from a Vladivostokian in Russian, though their English accents are pretty similar, as I can tell the different regions of German accents reasonably well in German, but less reliably so in English.

    My own Russian accent is a Canadian take on fairly standard Muscovite middle-class, with a poetic edge that leans more Piterish. My German is strongly affected by the Schwarzwalder softness prevalent where I learnt it, and my French leans Canadian, though I can make the effort to sound more Ile-de-France-ish. It wouldn’t take thirty seconds for a French-speaking person to place me as a canadienne, I’d expect, though it might take them a minute or two to be sure I was also anglophone. Similarly, a minute or two talking makes it clear in German or Russian that I’m not native.

  70. Esteleth, statistically significant to p ≤ 0.001 says

    :D :D :D

    I was born at 89.6500° W. I spent the bulk of my childhood at 88.5458° W. So “Midwestern” is exactly correct.

    Depending on the words, my vowels can get hilarious. Which is because I was raised in the asscrack of south-central Illinois (you know, that stretch of territory where Midwestern flatness gets in a slugging match with Deep South drawling) by a Chicagoan and someone who needed new passport pages (to allow for more stamps) at the age of seven and thus has an accent that is truly a thing of wonder. When I’m three sheets to the wind I sound like I’m from Kentucky. Or Maine. Not simultaneously, obviously.

    When I was in the second grade, I got detention for cussing in Urdu. In my defense, I didn’t know I was cussing – I just knew that when Parent wanted to say that something was bad, it was “بالکل شٹ.” Unfortunately for me, another child who was from from those parts heard me and told the teacher what I’d said. It was only a few years ago that I tentatively asked someone from India what “अपने आप को भाड़ में जाओ” meant. I had been mostly right, as it turns out.

    My only regret is that I have forgotten the Farsi curses.

  71. says

    No, chigau, you hadn’t asked me that, but yes, I’ve definitely read it, and have it and its two sequels on my shelves. When I used to be on LJ a lot more than I am, one of my favourite ones to read was Suzette Haden-Elgin (ozarque), who wrote infrequently but beautifully. She has turned, in later life, very much to focusing on her anti-anger work, like The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense, which she has reissued in the last couple of years. She’s a lovely lady, and I did enjoy, as a linguist, reading sf by someone who got the linguistics stuff right enough to be non-jarring.

  72. rq says

    You’d pick out a Latvian Russian-speaker in no time, provided they were speaking Russian. Even I can separate out native-native Russian speakers from Latvian-Russian speakers. And oh boy, do the Estonian-Russian speakers ever stand out! That same rhythm they have in Estonian? Yeah, they put it into Russian, a very interesting mix.
    I have no idea what my French accent is – my teachers were from all over the place, and my mum speaks Parisian French, so mine’s not particularly quebecois (although I can put one on, if I like). Probably Outaouais, same with my English (with that touch of Baltic).


    Anyway, homestretch and then I’m getting into the car and will home at… oh look, 1AM! Woo hoo. And tomorrow is an official workday (which means no Husband!) but the kids are staying home (which means 3 chirrun running!). Woo damn hoo. I think that, no matter how late it is, I’m going to go home and watch me some Dukurs action before I go to bed. (I love rewind TV.)
    Mostly, I hope the roads haven’t iced over too much – +6 to -7? Just might happen…

  73. carlie says

    Jeez. So today makes three unexpected deaths at work this week – two employees, and one who is the father of one employee and the brother of another. And this is coming two weeks after three other people I know lost their mothers (although all were somewhat expected in the next few months, but not right now). And also, when looking for one obituary in the paper today, I saw that the mother of the guy we had put in our windows this summer died this week too. What the heck?

  74. says

    carlie: So sorry to hear that. What a grim week…

    * * *

    re. bare man’s chests: Can be very sexy. No need to be extremely manly. Actually, quite disturbing if you’re not straight but in denial. (“I won’t find this guy attractive… I won’t find this guy attractive… I won’t find… oh, damnit!”)

    re. accents: No idea if my funny accent is characteristic, or identifiable. But, then, I’m not really excited about finding out. (My ideal always was sounding like someone from a completely different part of the world.)

  75. Dhorvath, OM says

    I feel sexy when my chest is bare. (It’s not like it’s bare any other time than when I am feeling sexy.)

  76. says

    In fact, in a strange serendipity, while standing at the bus stop this morning I came up with what I think is a rather nifty bit of rhyming slang* about the particular sexiness of the six-pack muscles: I think I’ll call ’em “Hansoms” (Hansom cabs, abs). Thek you, thek you, I shall be here til Thursday, try the emu.

    And yes, a bare chest can be most attractive, of any variety or gender, certainly to this pansexual they can.

    * My Dad’s side of the family were, before losing their block in the Blitz in 1942, proper Cockneys from East Ham. In fact, they were traditionally fishmongers. My Great-Nan could still do the fishmongers’ “back talk” (as she called it; apparently it’s more formally called “back slang”), a form of phonetic reversal used as an argot between sellers in the markets. My Mum’s side were from Scotland – GrandDad from Hamilton, though born in Derry/Londonderry in NI, and Nan from Glasgow, and met and lived in Edinburgh for a while after just marrying before VE Day. So rhyming slang was a big part of my life growing up, on both sides. My Dad and I used to enjoy trying to stump one another with new ones.

  77. says

    Rhyme slangs were always a mystery to me. I saw mentions of them in movies, but I couldn’t really grasp how they could appear… Seemed just too distant from what I experienced.

    Now, this back slang sounded even more outlandish, until I noticed there are examples of it as close as Argentina. Who could imagine this? Amazing…

    (it’s far too late. I shouldn’t be posting at this hour… Great risk of saying something foolish…)

  78. cicely says

    *hugs* for JAL.

    I have hostile resting face.
    Or, at least, seriously-pissed-off resting face.

    Olde Blacksmith!
    Welcome back!

    *gentle hugs* for CaitieCat.

    And *hugs* for carlie, as well.

  79. thunk: she'd rather be on a train says

    Caitiecat language stuff:

    Ukrainians are easy (find a word with a “g”; if it’s “h”, congratulations, you’re Ukrainian!)

    As someone with several Belarusian relatives, they do that too. but also a Ukrainian thing.

    I’m just not that good at languages in general. I might be good if I was able to have any spare emotional energy left to invest in them. I’m trying to learn french… moderately badly. My russian isn’t that good either, but I was raised in Piter for only a brief while.

    I might want to keep doing this languagey stuff if I ever get any spare time and interest. but right now I envy everyone’s cultured-ness.

  80. says

    Whoa, we were you all talking about the bare chests of men? Without me?

    To me, my fainting chair!


    Warning: The following may seriously piss you the fuck off. I know it had that effect on me:

    A popular Russian actor who starred in a TV sitcom similar to “Scrubs” told a packed audience that he would be happy to burn all living gay people alive, by himself.

    “I myself would shove all live gays into [a] furnace,” Ivan Okhlobystin (image, above) told his audience in Novosibirsk, Russia’s third-largest city. “This is Sodom and Gomorrah, I as a beliver in God can not treat this indifferently, this is a live threat to my kids!”

    “I do not want my kids to think that faggots are normal,” Okhlobystin, who is 47 and a member of the Russian Orthodox Church and a former Russian Orthodox priest, said, according to Queer Russia. “This is lavender fascism. If a person can not choose someone of an opposite sex for procreation – this is an overt sign of mental abnormality, so they should be denied voting rights.”

    Such utter hatred. Unflinching…unashamed…this man’s opinion of millions of people around the world is reprehensible. He sees us as undeserving of basic human rights…of even the right to exist.
    This is something I cannot fathom at all. It both angers and frightens me.

  81. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says


    What’s even more frightening is that he probably won’t get even a slap on the wrist for saying that, considering the current political climate in Russia.

  82. thunk: y'all know ageism is a thing? says


    Such utter hatred. Unflinching…unashamed…this man’s opinion of millions of people around the world is reprehensible. He sees us as undeserving of basic human rights…of even the right to exist.
    This is something I cannot fathom at all. It both angers and frightens me.

    Yeah! It gets even worse when people SAY THAT TO YOUR FACE unflinchingly.

    Seriously, fuck russians.

  83. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    I’ve never been to a ballet. I was thinking of taking my mum to see one for Christmas (I don’t think she’s ever seen one either, or if she has it’s been a long time ago), is Nutcracker a good idea?

  84. rq says

    DAMN YOU PHARYNGULA THAT WAS AN AWESOME COMMENT why you hafta eat iiiittt???

    Yes, The Nutcracker is a great idea. (Some save-the-damsel misogyny appropriate to the era, and casual racism in depiction of other cultures, but it’s a glittery, secular, sugar-plum-fairy and fighting-rat infested delight. Plus, men in tights.)

    Then I got sad about skeleton results (Martins Dukurs – 8th??? Naht pahssible!!).

    Then here’s a rather sweet gesture from GQ Deutschland in response to homophobia.

    … And here’s attempt #2 to post…

  85. says

    re: Okhlobystin

    Sounds like someone is trying to outputin Vlad the Shirtless. Also from the article:

    actor, director, writer, and one-time presidential candidate

    Reminds me that there will probably be an official Christian fundamentalist candidate for the Brazilian presidency next year. I don’t think he has any chance to win now, but you never know how much his party can grow by pandering to people’s prejudices. In five years’ time, I’d not risk any wagers…

    * * *

    I saw a presentation of the Nutcracker a week ago. It was the first I’ve been to a ballet, but I think I could tell that was a particularly terrible production. I imagine it would be less unpleasant if properly done. But there were, indeed, people dressed as rats and men in tights.

    * * *

    Nick Gotts (#121): I hope he isn’t. I’d hate to learn Michael Palin was a CIA agent. But, then, it would explain why he did so much travelling…

  86. rq says

    That’s the funny thing about some art forms… Sometimes you can just tell it’s being done wrong. Ballet is one of those; when the dancers are all in synch and in form and on time with the music, and the choreography is good, then the experience is absolutely amazing. But don’t take my word for it, I’m a life-long fan of ballet and most other kinds of dance. ;) Witness the power of awesome ballet.

  87. says

    Patricia Carroll is the lawyer of a young woman who was raped in Florida. She said, “This was an investigation of a rape victim, not an investigation of a rape suspect.”

    She says the Tallahassee Police Department and Florida state attorney Willie Meggs were more interested in clearing Jameis Winston of the rape charge than of finding out if he did it despite the all evidence they have. Given the history of sports figures with rape accusations (e.g. Roethlisberger) and a failure to prosecute, I have no reason to doubt her.

    But hey, Heisman trophies and the possibility of winning a “national championship” are so much more important than ensuring justice is carried out. Lucky for him he plays for Florida State (13-0) playing in the BCS title game and not Florida Atlantic (6-6) playing tiddly winks. Or are all football players exempt from prosecution in Florida?

  88. says


    Not only that, but I was pretty disappointed when there was no Sugar Plum Fairy Dance. I felt like they might be butchering the original work.

    But it’s nice that this was brought up here, because I was meaning to look for a recording of a proper production of the Nutcracker on the Internet, you know, with live orchestra and such, just to see how it is really done.

  89. rq says

    They didn’t do the Sugar Plum Fairy Dance??? No live orchestra??
    That was not a real Nutcracker you went to see.
    Here are some versions:
    from the Mariinsky theatre;
    from 1977 – quality’s rather poor, but Mikhail Baryshnikov is in it… somewhere;
    from the Royal Ballet (this one’s as a playlist in easily digestible pieces).

    Enjoy! :)

  90. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    So, yesterday I was mostly out of commission due to a terrible toothache I’d been dealing with reached an all time high. This morning I woke up with a tooth abscess. I had to google it because holy fucking shit there’s literally a ball of pain on the side of my check. I’m going to the emergency care place when it opens at 8 to get anti-biotic and still searching for a dentist that will treat it and take payments, since Mom’s SSD is the only money coming in.


    (Oh, my fucking god the pain… the pain…)

  91. says

    HI there
    My accent is plain, deep Saarfränkisch. I’m so local even my last name is local. Literally, it means “person from a village called X”.

    I don’t know how well you can carry something, but there are these little foldable stools for camping and fishing. Maybe they could help you with waiting for the bus?

  92. says

    Giliell, it’s absolutely a good idea, but with my cane already in hand, I’d be down to no hands to carry anything (like, say, my purse) if I were to bring along another hand-carry item.

    Using a cane changes so many little things: I need to remember to keep my keys somewhere accessible, because generally I never have a hand free when I’m coming into my building, having cane on one side and purse on the other. And it’s tricky to carry anything on my back, because if it’s heavy it’s painful, and there’s rarely anywhere I can put it down to fetch things out anyway. Putting it on the ground means I’d have to bend over, which is…not a good idea, usually. I have to keep bus fare in my pocket or my glove, or paying my fare when I get on becomes really awkward.

    It’s a conundrum, for sure. Or perhaps a caneundrum. Thanks for the thoughtful idea, though. :)

  93. says

    rq, some nice work there. I quite like the last one on the first page, the simple charcoal sketch of the group of people. Some nice line work in that one, smooth easy curves.

    I should see if I can find where any pics of my various paintings are. I’ve sold two, so far. It’s yet another area where I think if I had some stress-free time, I could create some saleable art. No one’s going to be bidding on anything I do at Sotheby’s – well, maybe after I’m dead – but it’s a nice feeling to have managed.

    Cold and windy here today, snowing too, been snowing for three or four days now, actually, on and off.

  94. says

    chigau, I’ve tried a couple of those in stores, but they creaked alarmingly under my weight before I stopped trying, lest I break one in-store. Since I run about 115kg (18st/250lb-ish), it’s tricky to get something sturdy enough to use, and yet light enough to be reasonably portable and not unduly stressing from having to use something heavy.

  95. says

    Chigau beat me to it…

    Oh, I’m sorry to hear. My sympathies.


    I’m so local even my last name is local. Literally, it means “person from a village called X”.

    Technically, so does mine, although we’ve not lived there for about 300 years, and it hasn’t existed as a separate locale for about 200, AFAICT.

  96. says

    If I might, my dear friends, please understand that I have, in fact, investigated the options, and for a whole range of reasons, have concluded that there isn’t anything I can reliably do about this. A 2.5-lb cane is four times as heavy as the wooden stick I use now. For you, I know, a couple of extra pounds being carried in a hand doesn’t seem like much, but when you have to lift and lower that 2 extra pounds with every step, and control it when sitting on the bus, and perch lightly because you’re close to the rated limit, even without your winter gear and whatever you’re going out to get in the first place…leaving aside that I still haven’t actually paid my rent yet this month, where would I find nearly $100 to spare? LOL. :)

    So if I might gently draw a line under the “Let us kindly provide Nana Cait some instruction on how to evacuate that chicken embryo from its shell” conversation, as kind-hearted and loving as I genuinely know it to be, I should be grateful, thank you. I totally get that it’s coming from sincere caring, and that in itself is a lovely gift, thank you. But please trust that I have checked out ways to make my life easier in the 26 years since I was first injured. :)

    So…how about them Saskatchewan Roughriders?

  97. birgerjohansson says

    BTWa Chinese probe landed on the moon four hours ago. The Rabbit has landed*.

    *Jade rabbit. First lunar landing of any kind since 1976.

  98. says

    Please don’t feel you need to apologize. I meant it when I said I know it’s all about the caring and lovingness. It’s one of those little privilege items, the offering of advice, and I totally do it myself all the time. But I promise I am utterly unharmed, and no apology is needed for an act of loving kindness. :)

  99. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    PZ was wanting provocative biology questions?

    Well, I want to know if this is why I have spent so much of my adult life *not* in sexual relationships.

  100. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @Dalillama & CaitieCat:

    This brings up a discussion in which I have long engaged about what being helpful looks like.

    The classic illustration of this for me? Using my body weight to open doors as my hands were busy with crutches. Entering store this way. “Helpful”Person sees me using my body to open the door and thinks, “Well, it’s not right someone has to go through that, I will open the door myself!”

    Of course, when you are leaning your body weight against a door to open it, you are leaning your body weight against the fucking door.

    Alas, after I fell I had to listen to HP explain to me over and over how they were just trying to help and how I should think well of them.

    To this day, I have never, ever thought well of that person. Argh.

    I’m not saying anything about the above interaction, it just reminded me of this.

  101. rq says

    I’d love to see some of your work, if you get around to finding it. I am reasonably impressed that you have sold your work – no one has ever offered to buy anything I’ve done, but that’s mostly because I’ve never drawn for monetary gains, just for expression (which, I know, aren’t mutually incompatible things).
    I’m considering getting back into it, because it’s literally been years since I drew anything decent (that is, spent the time and effort to make it so – not including a cartoon hedgehog eating ice cream I did earlier this year…) and I’ve been feeling the itch. I used to be rather productive (in writing, too) but… kids… and then kids… Dunno, something about being constantly tired and on the run seems detrimental to that whole idea of ‘practical creativity’. But I recently started finding some extra time to rework the feel of the piano into the fingers (still not settled enough to pick up the violin again, but soon), and drawing seems next up on the list of Recovering Skills of the Past.
    Also, I wanted to share here because while my sketchbook/drawings have never been private, they’ve never really been on public display, mostly due to a discomfort of being judged. And yet, in posting them here, I feel no such pressure, so it’s a nice thing for me to show more of myself and things of which I am proud – and as I was flipping through those re-discovered drawings yesterday, I realized that yes, I really am proud of the work that I used to do.
    Oh, and some *hugs* for you, too!!

    I find it truly nice to know that someone is still making journeys out into space beyond the Space Station (which is a miracle of determination and ingenuity in its own right, too).
    Pictures of Mars make me weepy not because they’re particularly beautiful, but because they’re pictures of the surface of another fucking planet, and that is one of the biggest sort of epiphanic thoughts that I have had. Because Science. And the hard work and curiosity and dreaming behind a silly photograph of a bare, rocky landscape. So much humanity.

  102. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Thanks, rq.
    I consulted mum too (surprises are overrated, I’d rather that she likes the choice) and The Nutcracker it is.

  103. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    I’m back. Just took my medicine (anti-biotics, ibuprofen and Vicodin) and I swear half my fucking face is swollen. Doctor was really nice and I broke down crying when he gave me a list of discounted dentists and such to call, which I will do Monday.

    Now to wait til the medicine kicks in.

  104. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says


    *gentle hugs*

    I’m so sorry you’ve got so much bad stuff happening, all at the same time.

  105. rq says

    I hope it kicks in soon!! :(
    Hope Monday is productive and results in some positive progress for your teeth.

  106. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    Thanks guys.

    I just had to show Little One pictures of what’s going on in my mouth since the swollen side of my face wasn’t cutting it anymore after 3 days of pain. Those pictures? EWWW. Well, she gets it now.


    There’s no room for innocence or principles or justice when you’re poor.

  107. Portia, in absentia says

    JAL –
    Damn I’m really sorry. Let me know if I can help in any way

    carlie: I’m really sorry for even more loss in your life. *hugs* and *hotcoffee* and some cranapple pie if you like

    I’m a bit rupt but I miss you all.
    I have a personal victory to report: I spent 12 hours at 3 parties yesterday and didn’t do anything I feel embarrassed about. Well, not very embarrassed. I had this exchange at the last party with someone I afterwards found out was a friend of a friend (sorryi’mnotsorry):
    “Hey sweetie.” (addressed to my chest)
    “That’s not my name”
    “Well, what is it then?”
    “Nunya. It’s German.”


    The parties were very different parties: one was for a local firm (that my boss thinks is trying to poach me, but that’s a differents story). It was at a French restaurant with amazing tapas buffet, and an open bar with an extensive wine list (I felt a little out of my class element…) The next party was at a dive biker bar where I also felt out of my element…but it was more “where I came from” I guess. It was really interesting to me for a lot of reasons. This was after the parties began with my work party where we all went bowling and then played laser tag. Variety is the spice of life, is I guess the point of this rambling :)

    How’s everyone doing today?

  108. rq says

    Unhappy, because certain sports figures put in a disappointing performance last night. :)
    But generally okay. You? (See some of my artwork in a previous link!)

  109. Portia, in absentia says

    I’m feeling pretty happy and lucky today.

    My landlord’s fix-it man replaced a broken window in my house yesterday. :D (LL had previously telegraphed an intention to force me to pay for it, now we’ll just hope my damage deposit doesn’t take a hit…it was wear and tear damnit!)

    I don’t see a link to artwork! Hallp? I wanna see!

  110. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    It was fun looking at your artwork linked in #120.

    I especially liked the dragon-parody of faux-lesbian porn. Sticking their tongues out of their mouths towards each other and the long nails are dead giveaways.*

    Also, for some reason the charcoal rose makes me think of the masochism tango. (* again)

    *not to be taken as belittling your art. More a comment on my deranged mind.

  111. Nutmeg says

    Thanks to Tony, Beatrice, rq, Giliell, opposablethumbs, and doki for encouragement the other night, on a couple of subjects!

    My doctor’s appointment went pretty well. I think at first he was worried that there was some kind of crisis in my life. But I did my best to be robustly normal, and by the end of the appointment he seemed reassured that I’m not about to crack, I just have a sleep disorder. He agrees with me that this is almost certainly just an unfortunate way that my brain responds to stress, and stress is unavoidable, so it’s better to focus on preventing the night terrors than on avoiding stress. Apparently the local sleep clinic has a psychologist who specializes in sleep issues, and that would probably be the best approach and covered under [provincial health plan], I think.

    Unfortunately, [family doctor] also needs to rule out sleep apnea, restless legs, thyroid disorders, etc., just to be diligent (there’s no reason to think I have any of those things). So I will have to spend a night in the sleep lab at some point, and that might delay things. Anyway, he’s going to see how long the wait will be, and I should know more sometime in the New Year. If it’s going to take forever, we might try to find a private psychologist in the city who knows about sleep disorders. I am skeptical that such a person exists outside of the sleep clinic, but we’ll see. I’ve been meaning to look into getting additional health insurance, so I think I’ll try to find a plan that covers at least a little bit of mental health treatment.

    Overall, I’m relieved/encouraged by my family doctor’s response. I thought he might tell me to reduce my stress levels and send me on my way, or that he might think I’m nuts and send me for a bunch of psych testing. But his approach was moderate and compassionate and about as good as I could expect.

  112. rq says

    faux-lesbian porn

    I think you just made my night. Seriously! Talk about unintended messages (well, the sex part is spot-on…). Ha! This is awesome. I assure you, my high school self would be beside herself on hearing such a description about a rather dark, romantic piece of subversive (subversive, I tell you!!!!) art. :D

    Sounds like progress is mostly positive at this point! *holding thumbs* for a short wait time for the sleep lab. Yay for competent health professionals!

  113. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Okay, I don’t do drama here much, in part because it would get boring, I have a lot. But I will mention in passing that I’m hating on myself something fierce right now and I just can’t fucking stop it.

    In an attempt to distract myself when I really need to be writing papers, I discovered the “bad joke eel” meme.

    Not all work for me, obviously, but I love a bad joke more than the next crippled, tranny, white lesbian, so I was already having a nice time when I hit one I will only slightly reword:

    What did the gay deer say when he left the bar?

    “I can’t believe i blew 50 bucks in just 3 hours!”

  114. rq says

    Crip Dyke
    I laughed.
    And here’s a *fierce non-hating collection of hugs*.
    Because you have a skill with words and wit that I admire greatly, and you bring enjoyment to my daily routine more often than you could imagine.

  115. Portia, in absentia says

    CD –

    You are wonderful. We love you. I love you. *hug*

    rq: You art is really neat! I’m enjoying perusing.

  116. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    How many potatoes does it take to kill an irishman?


    When I die, someone will be absolutely compelled to create a hell just to send me there, because I laughed so hard at this one.

    I would be ashamed of myself, but I’m too busy laughing.

  117. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Got my first real-job paycheck yesterday. It was a bit larger than I expected. Yay!
    I was working today (and will have to again tomorrow, from home), and will probably be doing a lot more of overtime over the next month, so I think I totally deserve that larger sum.

    I’m going to go read Pratchett in bed now until I fall asleep. I decided to read the whole DEATH sub-series in order, which includes some books I’ve read before and some new ones. Currently, it’s Reaper Man, a reread.

    Gonna make candied orange peel tomorrow

    /end of listing random facts about my life

  118. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Congrats, Beatrice. yay for paychecks. I need one.

    and because right now I can’t comment without adding something from BadJokeEel, you get this:

    What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop?

    Dr. Dre.

  119. rq says

    I got my paycheck 5 days ago, and oh look, it’s mostly gone!!
    Half an hour and I get to go home. Too bad I turn into a pumpkin in two minutes. Hey, CD, is there a joke about pumpkins in there somewhere? I request one!!

  120. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Crip Dyke,

    I’m stupid, it took me a moment to get it.

    now I’m over on BadJokeEel
    gad, but those bad jokes are good

  121. rq says

    BTW Crip Dyke if you want more potato jokes, there was a reddit on Latvian potato jokes that was pretty hilarious. And really, really, REALLY bad.

  122. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    hey, badjokeeel tumblr only has two pages. I feel cheated

  123. chigau (違う) says

    I’ll be with you in potato-joke-hell.
    and now I’m stuck in eel-joke purgatory.

  124. rq says

    So do I! That means the likelihood of getting a pumpkin joke is incredibly low!
    (Also, Beatrice, you are so NOT stupid.)

  125. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @beatrice, try:


    In the meantime, for rq:

    A pumpkin died under a heavy wall toppled over in an earthquake.

    Friends tried to console the pumpkin’s partner, but the poor bereaved insisted the pumpkin would always be remembered as a squash.

    I had to write that dam joke because none of the busy beavers at the BadJokeEel site could be bothered.

  126. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    ah, it’s a meme. THere’s more. Good

    If y’all are going to hell for this, then so am I

  127. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

    Good night :)

  128. loreo says

    Hey, Pharynguloids!

    I’m mostly a lurker around here, but I wanted to share a worthy cause this Christmas season: the financially strapped moderator of and, Lee Barnes, is being thrown out of her home with her young son for the crime of refusing to repent her atheism. For this mother and her babe, there is no room at the inn.

    These funds are being raised to help her relocate.

    Thanks for reading my pitch.

  129. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    When an eel reaches out
    and bites off your snout
    that’s…a Moray.

    When you’re diving at night
    and your toe feels a bite
    that’s a moray

    I take no responsibility for the composition of the above.

  130. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    I have no funds, but I have secure housing. Where are Barnes and son? For something like this, I think my family would make space. We have a couple weeks where it’s not possible b/c of more visitors than reasonably fit are already coming, but after that (or before, for a few days)…

  131. Portia, in absentia says

    Most of the Christmas episode of Glee (which is a hate-watch for me at this point) has been hilarious, but this has made it hilarious and worth it. Jebus=love child, bahahahahha

  132. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    there was a reddit on Latvian potato jokes


  133. rq says

    I wish I could help more practically.


    Alright, that’s it, I’m off for home; C&C at full volume should keep me awake.
    And here’s to a headache-free tomorrow.
    Good night, and thanks for all the jokes!

  134. rq says

    Crip Dyke
    I’ll look it up tomorrow for you, but I think if you search reddit for Latvian potato(e), you should find it. I think it’s right up your alley.

    *self-righteous smirk*
    This is why I don’t watch Glee. ;)

    Okay, floating on out of here.

  135. loreo says

    Not sure where Lee Barnes is located; I’m just a fan of her pages. Kinda hard up myself at the moment; just thought I’d spread it around.

  136. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    I’ve known Dreger’s work for, gods, 18 years now, and for a long time I relied on her for crucial information. But GreatGods of VictimBlaming I wish she would stop using the phrase “ambiguous genitalia”.

    It ain’t the genitalia that are ambiguous.

  137. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    The Redhead saw in the AARP bulletin that ACE inhibitors (generics end in -pril), which we both take for high blood pressure should be taken at night. Looking for the study showed that the recommendation is only good if it was prescribed to restore the heart tissue. For high blood pressure, it doesn’t matter when it is taken.
    Just a reminder to verify what one hears from friends and journalists.

  138. Jimmy Carr says

    Nerd, 191: “The Redhead saw in the AARP bulletin that ACE inhibitors (generics end in -pril), which we both take for high blood pressure should be taken at night. Looking for the study showed that the recommendation is only good if it was prescribed to restore the heart tissue. For high blood pressure, it doesn’t matter when it is taken.
    Just a reminder to verify what one hears from friends and journalists.”

    But you yourself are not verifying “what one hears from…journalists”. Because what you called “the study” was just a link to some traffic-sucking website which basically reprints press releases from Pharma. The correct place to look for links would be: and

    Just FYI, because these websites such as “medicalnewstoday” are just scams and I try to educate non-scientists about the poor value of using these kind of sites as opposed to the “official” scientific sites.

  139. carlie says

    (Nerd is a scientist)

    Thank you for the kind words, everyone. I went to the funeral of the person I knew today, and it was a Catholic mass. Entirely impersonal, and a bit annoying. Very “Oh lord, you are so big”. But I paid my respects to the family, and that’s what matters.

    I’m with CD in the suckage corner, so mutual hugs all around on that count.

  140. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Just FYI, because these websites such as “medicalnewstoday” are just scams and I try to educate non-scientists about the poor value of using these kind of sites as opposed to the “official” scientific sites.

    If they post a link to the article in question, they can be very useful. Just like a SciAm blurb.

  141. cicely says


    In the interests of pushing some (personal) boundaries, here’s some old art.

    You’ve got some good stuff, in there! I’m particularly drawn to the third and fifth pics, both on the first page, top row.
    And the slo-mo ballet video—lovely!

    *hugs* and extreme sympathy, JAL.
    Abscessed teeth come high on my personal list of “Least Fun Things”.
    I had one try to kill me. Happily, that was Back In The Day, when we had insurance.

    Using a cane changes so many little things:

    Oh, hell yes! That’s the entire reason why I went to a purse that I wear cross-torso. Finding one with adequate capacity and a long enough strap was a large pain in the ass. And I have a much smaller purse that I adapted by removing the (short) original faux-leather strap and installing a nice, blackened metal chain. It’s not the worst looking purse I’ve seen, so I’m calling it good!
    I have a fold-up 3-legged cane/seat (rather like one at chigau‘s link, in fact!)—it is adequate as a seat, but fails extravagantly as a cane—the folded-up seat hits things (like knees, for instance, and other people), and caused enough trouble that I quickly gave up on it altogether.
    These days, for short distances/standing times, it’s quad-cane (rated for up to 500 lbs!) all the way, with the wheelchair for long distances/standing times.

    Portia, congrats on the personal victory!

    *hugs* for Crip Dyke.
    I had to double-take on the Irish/potato joke.
    It…didn’t go the direction I was expecting.
    Which (honor thy stereotypes! and hang head in shame) was more in the “You must mean Russians, ’cause whisky(sp?) doesn’t come from potatoes atall, atall!”

    Beatrice, hurray for paychecks! And unexpected bigness of paychecks!

  142. cicely says

    @Crip Dyke:
    “Ambiguous genitalia” is incorrect nomenclature. I didn’t realize that. I will try to remember.

  143. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    I try to educate non-scientists about the poor value of using these kind of sites as opposed to the “official” scientific sites.

    I think you need to rein it in a bit. I’ve been a professional scientist for over 35 years. But the last 25 years has been spent with a small company and very limited access to the primary literature behind a paywall. Not everybody works at a university or MegaCorp with almost unlimited access to the primary literature. Keep that in mind before you criticize.

  144. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    the term’s been around a long time. But if you’d ever been lucky enough to share fun-sexy-times with someone whose DSD affected nether anatomy, you’d know these are unambiguously genitalia.

    it is, however, true that our oversimplified definitions of sex and gender cannot be easily applied to persons whose bodies have anatomical features not specified in one of the two standard constellations and/or features that come from one of the standard constellations combined with features from the other standard constellation. (it is almost unheard of for someone to have standard features from both constellations unless looking on the level of the trivial, but it is possible…internal testicles are not internal ovaries, for instance).

    But, yeah, the phrase treats the problem as inherent to the child (Oh look – what ambiguous genitalia! We must do something about the problem! Which obviously means changing the genitalia, since that’s where the problem resides…)

    The general history of medical intervention in the lives of folks with DSD makes the phrase problematic and victim blaming even if there is a sense in which it is true.

    This is all to say I’m not sure if it’s “incorrect”. But for it to be “correct” requires thinking in a mental frame that makes the child the problem, not the hacking up of the child the problem. So it’s language whose embedded assumptions make outrages easier, when I (and many others) would like to make ethical and respectful responses more common than the historic ones that persist not because they are best, but because people think in ways that normalize the cutting of others.

    So I don’t use it,

    [grumpyrantyvoice] and I should think the author of Intersex in the Age of Ethics wouldn’t use it. yet still she does.


  145. chigau (違う) says

    I am solidly on the bandwagon for NOT using “ambiguous genitalia”.
    If the fleshly bits works for whatever a baby needs to work (peeing?), leave it alone.
    Really, really, really it should be the person in possession of the “ambiguous genitalia” who decides what to do with said genitalia. And that can wait.
    as long as the unicorns keep the bullies away.

  146. A. Noyd says

    Thank god microbes for alcohol. In moderation, it makes for a tasty way to temporarily relieve excessive sensitivity.

    Also, apparently there are people who meditate in order to intentionally have their attention captivated by the sensations of the moment. Must be really nice to normally feel so little that that sounds like a worthy goal.

  147. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    You know what would be really nice right now?

    Not feeling anything.


    And it’s making me really snippy about Michael Kimmel. Caine had been recommending some of his books not too long ago, and for a moment I assumed it was a Kimmel book until I remembered otherwise (I haven’t read it). Kimmel was a jerk about certain things, but that doesn’t mean his writing isn’t worth reading. intellectually I know that. Emotionally right now, I’m just in a terrible place and I have no generosity to give to the man.

    Fuck, here I am writing about him and no one else even brought it up.

    Like I said, feeling nothing would be a hell of an improvement.

  148. chigau (違う) says

    Why did The Little Mermaid wear seashells?
    Because A and B shells were too small.

    I am in awe.

  149. rq says

    I had to wake up to that.
    Thanks. Thank you very much.

    Crip Dyke
    Latvian potato jokes. It has descended somewhat since I last saw it, but if you fish around, there will be some sufficiently terrible things on it. I have no idea why they go on about yurts, though.

  150. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    Yurts are east of the Caucasus – Kyrgyzstan type areas, Turkmenistan too. Parts of china and russia near their shared western border. yurts in Latvia?

    Is that supposed to be meta?

  151. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Good morning!

    I had a dream.
    It was that I have a differential equations exam the day after tomorrow, which I’d completely forgotten about and haven’t studied for.

    Since we have a big project at work that needs to be finished by Thursday, I guess those things are related.

  152. A. Noyd says

    Random things that annoy me about television:
    – Nobody ever holds a disposable coffee cup like it has any liquid in it. Not even when the barista handed it over two seconds earlier. Like, I’m sure the cups don’t have any liquid because they’re props, but how fucking hard is it to act as if they do?
    – Female crime scene investigator or coroner characters with long hair that they leave down as they’re processing evidence or examining corpses. Its like their femininity will evaporate forever if they wear a fucking ponytail, braid or bun.

  153. rq says

    A. Noyd
    See your crime scene and raise you a fight scene with loose hair. How is that good for visibility???

    Crip Dyke
    No yurts in Latvia; I think it’s a meta. Still weird.

  154. says

    This week marked the 65th anniversary of the signing of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. It was drafted by a commission of the United Nations that was chaired by Eleanor Roosevelt. The Convention became effective in 1951, the United States finally ratified it in 1988 and it was signed by President George H.W. Bush.

    What would it be like if people in the United States knew they had these rights and demanded to have them realized? We believe it would be a very different world – the economy would be a more equitable with full employment, healthcare for all, no people without housing and more humane on every front. Instead, this week an annual report of Credit Suisse ranked the US as the most unequal of all advanced countries.

    And there are people who say the US is the greatest country in the world…

  155. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    I know there are no yurts (traditionally) in Latvia or anywhere west of the Caucasus anymore (though round, semi-permanent dwellings were used near the Aral and black seas, they weren’t russo-slavic and haven’t been used around there for a long time).

    I was responding WTF? and not “could this be real?”

    I agree with you it’s weird. The only thing i can think is that it’s an in joke about the people making Latvia jokes don’t really know anything about Latvia, so yurts are no more out of place than all the other “latvia is a sea of depression, uninterrupted by anything save the rare and precious potato or two a year.”

    I mean, obviously it’s a sea of depression when you come back to the Americas, but while you’re there? Totally ridiculous.

  156. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    The US is obviously the greatest country in the world. You see, think of the greatest country that could ever possibly be. Now obviously, in your imagination, it’s an awesome place of multiplexes and bad-ass warriors who can kill someone with a pinkie finger (touching a trackpad). But if that country existed for-really-realsies, the really-realsies version would be greater because it would exist. And existence is greater than non-existense.

    That country that exists? That’s the US of A, pop tart!

  157. A. Noyd says

    A word to the wise: Late night snacks and googling the things people pull out of their belly buttons do not mix.


    @rq (#209)
    I think the crime scene/coroner stuff gets to me more than fight scenes because a) fights usually come to the characters whereas investigators and coroners go to crime scenes and corpses, and b) it’s more relatable to my experience working with animals (both alive and dead) in a vet or zoo environment.

  158. says

    Good morning

    *hugs for carlie, CD, JAL


    Technically, so does mine, although we’ve not lived there for about 300 years, and it hasn’t existed as a separate locale for about 200, AFAICT.

    Well, I can drive there in 15minutes and it’s still a godsdamn godforsaken village :)

  159. opposablethumbs says

    Hugs and analgesics to JAL. Bloody hell, I hope you get all the pain relief and treatment you need.

    Effectively withholding essential healthcare (by refusing to make it equally available to all members of society) kind of means that the nation/government/legislators/insurance companies are, well … I apologise if what I’m saying is fucked up, and it may very well be, I’m failing to get my head round this, but – the healthcare is there, and it’s being withheld from many of those who need it – that’s a crime. Like assault, torture, unlawful killing.
    A bit ‘rupt. But I did see that rq has some very impressive artworks up, O person of many talents!
    Picking the brains of the Horde for any thoughts as to: say a person was doing a BSc in Biochemistry. And the thing they found they loved most was neuroscience. And they didn’t want to go into research. (And they were interested in doing an MSc afterwards, if all goes well enough.)

    What kind of MSc should such a person maybe look into, and what kind of work might such a person maybe do one day … ? I’m asking on my own behalf, really, because although this person is not me I’m hoping to say things that are not entirely counterproductive or totally misleading if/when we talk about it.

    Grateful for any thoughts, from the most general to the most specific or anywhere in between.

  160. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Brace yourself, I’m going to try and give my first *pounce hug*

  161. opposablethumbs says

    Ogvorbis!!!!!!!!! So good to see you!!!!! Have to warn you, unless you’d rather not I’m going to attempt a pouncehug too. (so glad I saw your post just before having to zoom off for a few hours, too). We’ve been thinking of you. Yay!

  162. Ogvorbis: Broken, failing, hurting. says





    Yeah, I suspect a lot of people have been thinking about me. Not just here.


    Thanks. And thanks for your efforts, and Oolons, over at Michael Nugent’s blog.

  163. carlie says

    Og – I saved you a virtual comfy chair to sit in. And a glass of grog. And a couple of chocolate truffles.

  164. Ogvorbis: Broken, failing, hurting. says


    Yeah. That came as a shock. Still not dealing with it well.




    Good to ‘see’ all of you.



  165. rq says

    Ogvorbis!!! :D

    Crip Dyke
    I figured as much, but I think it’s the people making up the Latvian jokes making fun of people who usually make Latvia jokes not knowing anything about Latvia… Or is that what you said? :/ These meta discussions get confusing.

    *scritches* :?

  166. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    “Beware the brain’s heuristics, loves,
    that thoughts mislead, that logic twists.
    Beware the MRAs, my doves,
    and shun the frumious cdesign proponentsists.”

    One with my comments close at hand,
    long time a manxome foe he fought.
    but slymepitters by post and twitter
    then aimed an ugly shot

    And there in Uffish thought I’m left,
    That Seedy chick, with legs so lame,
    as Og fell in a tulgey mood
    and cried alone, in shame.

    One, two! One, two! (My PIN, it’s true)
    the horde then queued to have Og’s back
    and in his head, though still is dread,
    time blunted the attack.

    Has he now commented, for realz?
    Yes: pouncehugs come both thick-and-fast.
    O frabjous day!
    Callooh, Callay!
    Our Ogvorbis, at last.

  167. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    A Poem On Meta:

    What you said
    is what I am saying I thought I said,
    as you acknowledge that you may have read.
    But anyways, these thoughts of meaning, all are in my head.

  168. Ogvorbis: in tulgey mood says

    Waves to rq.

    Thanks, Crip Dyke. No idea what ‘tulgey’ is, but crying in shame is pretty accurate.

  169. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    When I think of “tulgey” I think of overhanging branches, still air, an omnipresent shadow where the dappling sun that does penetrate is of strength sufficient only to conjure frightening pareidolean predators.

    Yeah. Tulgey mood. It’s a thing.


    BTW, I was thinking about starting a poetic blog, inspired by a local.

    Given the responses of people who get a whiff of my poetry, I thought I might call my poetic alter-ego “GefilteFish”.

  170. says

    You should know that if you read Ayn Rand it could be deleterious to your thought processes. But if you memorize lengthy excerpts from Atlas Shrugged, you will be crazy.Take Eddie Lampert, for example (and warning).

    … Lampert is now known as one of the worst CEOs in America — the man who flushed Sears down the toilet with his demented management style and harebrained approach to retail. Sears stock is tanking. His hedge fun is down 40 percent, and the business press has turned from praising Lampert’s genius towatching gleefully as his ship sinks. Investors are running from “Crazy Eddie” like the plague.

    That’s what happens when Ayn Rand is the basis for your business plan.

    Crazy Eddie has been one of America’s most vocal advocates of discredited free-market economics, so obsessed with Ayn Rand he could rattle off memorized passages of her novels. … Lampert took the myth that humans perform best when acting selfishly as gospel, pitting Sears company managers against each other in a kind of Lord of the Flies death match. This, he believed, would cause them to act rationally and boost performance….

    Instead of enhancing Sears’ bottom line, the heads of various divisions began to undermine each other and fight tooth and claw for the profits of their individual fiefdoms at the expense of the overall brand. …

    Lampert took to hiding behind a pen name and spying on and goading employees through an internal social network. He became obsessed with technology, wasting resources on developing apps as Sears’ physical stores became dilapidated and filthy. Instead of investing in workers and developing useful products, he sold off valuable real estate, shuttered stores, and engineered stock buybacks in order to manipulate stock prices and line his own pockets.

    Eddie’s crazy didn’t stop there. As a Wall Street creature fantastically out of touch with the kind of ordinary folks who shop at Sears, he inserted his love of luxury into the mix, trying to sell Rolex watches and $4,400 designer handbagsthrough America’s iconic budget-friendly brand.

    … Sears has lost half its value in five years. Since 2010, Sears has closed more than half of its stores. Sears Holdings is financially distressed and Lampert’s own hedge fund has reduced its stake in the company. The Sears store in Oakland, California, open for business with boarded-up windows, has even been cited for urban blight.

    Truth be told, hedge fund honchos have had little to fear from royally screwing companies. Bank accounts fattened at the expense of workers and other stakeholders, they go on their merry way to mess up something else. But the epic incompetence of guys like Lampert may be dispelling the myth that financiers are the smartest guys in the room….

    Slowly but surely, Ayn Rand’s economic theories are being discarded because they simply don’t add up in the real world. Even Rand acolyte Paul Ryan (R-Wis) is now distancing himself, calling his well-documented enthusiasm an “urban legend.”…

  171. rq says

    Middle Child: I just made up a story where I am a girl!
    me: Can I hear it?
    MC: Well, yes, but I’m going to tell it when you leave the room.
    me: But how will I hear your story?
    MC: I’ll say it really, really loudly.

  172. says

    Just a quiet bent wobbly hug offered to Og, I`m very glad to see you back. I hope the slings and arrows of outrageous assholedom haven’t wounded you too deeply.

    I think I recall cicely expressing sympathy about cane issues, for which I say thanks, it’s always nice to have that feeling of not-aloneness. :)

    Too sore to spend much time sitting up, so forgive my general ‘ruptitude.

    I have this idea that it’d be really cool to have a progressives’ gaming club. Some way that we could make an online place that people could meet and chat with or arrange online or even in-person gaming with people you can be confident won’t be slinging bigotry or intentionally aggro’ing their fellow players.

    The big problem I see is, how do you protect/police the idea? How do you reasonably keep out the majority of the filthy evil trolls/jerks who would swarm all over such a project like flies to honey a dead squirrel.

    Also a big problem is that there’s no way in the uncaring universe that I could do it alone (cf. the wreckers’ yard that is my spine, walking the Black Dog, et c.).

    Back to life, back to horizon-y. .

  173. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    CaitieCat, I should have chimed in earlier, but are you familiar with Fetterman Crutches?

    Warning: includes gorgeously seductive crutch porn.

    Of course, it is an unrealistic portrayal of crutches: not every crutch can be an Ed Openshaw. But still, when you’re in the mood to stare at hard-yet-organic protuberant cylinders, that’s the web page.

    Now, some may say that paying $945 for the chance to use Ed Openshaw’s woodie indicates that something is fundamentally wrong with the morals of our society. But I say that if you’ve got a spare thousand bucks and want to wrap your hand around one of these woodies, why shouldn’t you well-compensate a true artist?


    Also, I forgot to say to Tony! #213 earlier:

    Two words: percussive maintenance

  174. says


    The big problem I see is, how do you protect/police the idea?

    Ruthless moderation would be a good start, although there’d need to be some type of policy for handling people who caused shit in face to face.

    Now I’m envisoning a pair of crutches that each could fold out into a bipod, with a detachable cloth seat to sling between them.

  175. Portia, in absentia says

    Glad to see you.
    Very glad.

    When I moved into this house a year and a half ago, I went to a lot (a LOT) of trouble to put up a mailbox three blocks away so the postal carrier would leave mail that people addressed to my street address instead of my PO Box (which I also have). When the new neighbors moved into the b asement apartment in June, their mail started arriving. I politely told them that I was not willing to share my mailbox and told them how they could put up one of their own if they wished. It has not worked. They have continued with the status quo of their mail showing up in my hard-earned mailbox. I am very unhappy about this but don’t know what more to do. Maybe tell the post office that their mail should not come to my box? I just don’t know.

  176. carlie says

    Portia – is their address distinct from yours? An A or B next to the number, that kind of thing? If not, you could see what needs to be done to make that happen, then I think they can’t be delivered to the same box. Definitely sounds like something to be handled through the post office.

  177. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    If the basement apartment has a separate address, then it would be perfectly ethical to write “not at this address” on things that get delivered to the wrong address, right?

    Okay, I get that this situation isn’t quite that simple, what with them downstairs (renting from you?) and all. But still, you’ve articulated the problem, articulated a possible solution, and told them that you are unwilling to be a postal conduit. With just one last warning that you will return mail erroneously delivered to your mailbox, I think the way is clear to ethically use the simple solution above.

  178. Portia, in absentia says


    You’re right. There is no distinction currently, but that requires them to make the distinction when they give out their address, wouldn’t it? If I ask them to be 666A, for instance, and have mine stay 666, they still have to cooperate and say theirs is 666A, and then they have to also provide a separate receptacle. Or do you mean I should tell the PO that their address is 666A, and that any mail to 666 for them should be sent back?

  179. Portia, in absentia says

    CD: Thank you. I feel guilty sending things back. : /

    We both rent from one landlord (who cares very little what goes on).

  180. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Ah, no current distinction.

    I have seen some use of “upper” and “lower” instead of a unit number or an appended letter.

    You can always declare yourself “upper” and notify the people that most often need your address. Involve the post office before hand to make sure it’s okay. If it’s not okay, it’s because the distinctions need to come from them. In that case, you don’t need your down-neighbor’s permission. It’s all done by USPS.

    When such changes happen, the local post office will use a computerized list to note which persons are residents of which units.

    When someone new moves in downstairs, that person will need to use the new labeling, but USPS will sort out a good deal of the confusion without any intervention by you at all, if they have the right info. As I remember, USPS mail is referenced in a number of laws. In addition to prohibiting interception of the mail, it mandates USPS faithfully deliver the mail. They work hard to uphold that, and can’t and don’t charge extra to persons who happen to live in the problem houses.

    Now, they can be hard to navigate when trying to find the right person to fix a problem, but it’s usually not that hard, especially if you visit the office in person.

  181. Portia, in absentia says

    CD: you have made me feel much better (and you too, carlie)

    The people at my local small town PO are actually really helpful and kind. So that’s a very encouraging path to consider – and I’ll take it as soon as I can. thank you so much CD.

  182. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Yech, watching people masturhate* is kind of unpleasant. >.>

    *not a typo.

    So, my senior projects are both pretty much done, have been presented, and I just have a write-up to finish for each. I have one traditional final, one homework assignment, a design project, and about four pages of writing for another class and then I’m done with my bachelor’s degree.

    And I actually slept eight hours two days in a row, like, the first time since August. >.>

  183. says

    Here is some outrageous financial news to spice up what’s left of your weekend. Most of you probably know that the right-wing explanation for the collapse of subprime loan scams is that the government, Evil Big Government, forced, forced I say, the innocent financial services industry to make loans to poor people.

    Matt Taibbi, writing for Rolling Stone, shows this right-wing myth to be a lie, and he gives us the story behind the $2.4 billion fine levied against Household International, a fine that has ramifications as important as the $13 billion fine that JP Morgan Chase had to pay.

    … the oft-repeated myth – spread by many of America’s most notable dumb people, from Rush Limbaugh to New York City Mayor-unelect Mike Bloomberg – that the financial crisis was caused by the government “forcing” banks to lend to poor people.

    In reality, of course, the subprime bubble exploded because financial companies and banks were in a mad rush to get as many iffy borrowers into loans as quickly as possible – and not because they were forced to, but because they made assloads of money doing so.

    Nowhere was that more in evidence than in this case, Lawrence E. Jaffe Pension Plan v. Household International, Inc., et al., where a major trafficker in subprime and “alternative” mortgage products schemed in every conceivable way to get low-income, high-risk borrowers into as many dangerous mortgages and refinance deals as they could.

    … the principals in this case left behind a treasure trove of amazingly disgusting videos and internal memoranda showing in graphic detail an elaborate, company-wide plan to herd unsuspecting high-risk borrowers into bad loans. …

    Some background: The suit against Household International, a major home-loan purveyor that earned $75 billion from loan securitizations in 1999-2002 (and which was swallowed up by HSBC in 2002) originally began as a stock fraud case. Among other things, Household was disguising the toxicity and instability of its loans using a wide assortment of improper accounting schemes, which in an Enronesque touch were used to argue to the markets and to potential stockholders that Household was putting up record sales numbers.

    These accounting tricks included a preposterous technique called ‘re-aging,’ in which company bean-counters would declare delinquent loans to be no longer delinquent, by magically resetting the clock on the borrower’s payment history under certain conditions (thereby ‘re-aging’ the delinquency). …

    A Chicago jury ruled against the firm in May 2009, and the award was announced a little over six weeks ago this year. It got a little press attention, but a lot of the most damning evidence hasn’t made it into the media, and some of it is stuff that really needs to be seen to be believed.

    Just to give one example, Household had a particularly disgusting scam going – they called it the “EZ Pay Plan.”

    In it, customers were urged to junk their old (and presumably safe) mortgages and switch to a new Household Refinance plan that would be both more expensive and more dangerous, using a little sleight of hand. … the company was using word games to try to tell people they would be paying lower rates, when in fact they would not be. …

    the Household pitch would be to describe this as a loan that, because you’re paying less interest overall, was “like” paying a lower interest rate on a long-term loan, when in fact the customer usually ended up paying a shorter loan at a far higher rate. As predatory schemes go, it’s a pretty slick pitch. …

    They concealed prepayment penalties, offered phony “discount points,” and used a variety of techniques to increase the amount of money borrowed against customers’ homes. The latter mechanism had the effect of lowering the equity people had in their houses, making it difficult and in some cases impossible for people to refinance with other companies once they realized that they’d stepped into a deadly trap with Household (literally so: Household called their sales pitch the “trap sale”). …

    Pleasesee the link above to view the training clips that include “hollow-eyed, suburban-Skeletor-looking sales-creep talks about how to snare people into falling for Household’s dirty loan schemes.” The clips, being horribly real, may be the best part of this presentation by Taibbi, but understanding what you are watching is all down to Taibbi’s excellent explanation.

    Outrage level 10.

  184. says

    The conclusion from Matt Taibbi’s piece (see link in comment #256):

    … Despite reams of anecdotal evidence that banks and finance companies schemed incessantly to get people into dicey alternative loans – loans that became the fodder for securities that would then be sold to another set of victims, the investors in mortgage-backed bonds – many refuse to believe that people who defaulted on their home loans or went into foreclosure weren’t themselves at fault somehow. The underlying instinct is to blame people for not being rich enough to pay off their lenders. […]

    The people who sold these products reside very near the apex of human assholedom, and there were quite a lot of them, which unfortunately led to a worldwide financial crash. On what passes for the bright side, many of them were stupid enough to leave behind records of their sleazy practices for history. So hopefully, at least, there won’t be any more illusions about what went on.

    Yeah, blame the poor. Make Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan happy.

  185. The Mellow Monkey: Non-Hypothetical says

    I need moar books and so I turn to you, beloved Horde, for suggestions.

    I’m still working through Discworld and then I’ve got some Octavia Butler, so I’m pretty well covered for fiction until I get through with that. What I’d really like is some non-fiction. What is something non-fiction that has made you say “omg everyone who hasn’t read this is an ignorant asshole”? All right, perhaps I don’t need anything quite that dramatic, but I really do need to rebuild my non-fiction library. I lost every last book I owned in my house fire a few years back and I’ve been collecting sci-fi and fantasy on my Nook, but some real world social justice and science would rock, too. Or history. Or…well, lots of things!

    When I made this same request of my social group, a “friend” bought me a study Bible. I’m hoping there might be some better suggestions here. C’mon. Don’t let me be an ignorant asshole.

  186. Owen says

    Brightsided by Barbara Ehrenreich, and Debt: the first 5000 Years by David Graeber (the guy who apparently came up with the phrase “the 99%”).
    Every time Lynna posts something, I’m always able to trace it back to concepts in one or both of these books.

  187. David Marjanović says

    His hedge fun is down 40 percent

    I love this typo.

    This week marked the 65th anniversary of the signing of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. It was drafted by a commission of the United Nations that was chaired by Eleanor Roosevelt. The Convention became effective in 1951, the United States finally ratified it in 1988 and it was signed by President George H.W. Bush.

    What would it be like if people in the United States knew they had these rights and demanded to have them realized?

    …Oh. Only ratified in 1988?!?!?

    That explains why so many Americans seem not to know they have these rights. Has puzzled me for a long time.

  188. The Mellow Monkey: Non-Hypothetical says


    Brightsided by Barbara Ehrenreich, and Debt: the first 5000 Years by David Graeber (the guy who apparently came up with the phrase “the 99%”).

    Lovely. I’ve been meaning to read Debt and keep forgetting about it. Bright-Sided looks interesting, too. Thanks!

  189. cicely says

    chigau, unicorns have, unfortunately, proven less than effective in banishing bullies.

    *big hugs* for Crip Dyke.
    Our earseyeballs (and shoulders) are always available…if needed, or wanted.
    *applause* for this.
    (Even Later)
    The problem with buying the artistically-enhanced mobility aids is having the money to do so.
    For myself, I get a great deal of satisfaction out of enhancing the Undeniably-Over-Upholstered Quad-Cane, to my own tastes, to suit the season or the holiday. Ribbon can sometimes be had for cheap (I greatly anticipate the post-Christmas ribbon-buying season!), and depending on how you use it, can be reused. Repeatedly. In infinite (well, figuratively infinite, anyway) combinations. I hoard themed floral picks (again, the post-season sales are awesome!) to use as cane “figurheads”, and self-sticky acrylic jewels are things of joy and beauty over and over again, if you are careful in removing them. And I have a rubber octopus threaded onto ribbon….
    But I digress…at possibly-tedious length.
    Mean to say, it would be a pleasure to be able to support artists in this field, but sometimes you gotta do-it-yerself, however less artistically, or not at all.


    A. Noyd
    See your crime scene and raise you a fight scene with loose hair. How is that good for visibility???

    Raise—in this fight scene, not only is she wearing long, loose hair…she is also wearing high heels.
    Those spiky ones.
    At unsafe heights.

    (You might want to brace for impact.)
    *hugs&chocolate&bacon&booze&fireworks&down-filled comforters&moar hugs*
    Welcome home! We were worried for you.

    Azkyroth, congrats on projects-completion.
    Sleep is also good.

    Mellow Monkey, I am quite enjoying Lost Christianities.
    Recently, someone posted (here? in the Lounge? maybe?) a link to it on-line…and I thought I had it bookmarked on this machine, but apparently, not.
    It’d go well with the study Bible.
    :) :) :) :) :)
    And I don’t believe that it is possible for you to be an “ignorant asshole”!

    And, belatedly, it occurs to me to hope that the Hot Dog of Extreme Dubiousness caused you neither emotional distress nor internal damage.

  190. says

    So… Animation Domination Christmas episodes? Extremely lazy Simpsons, pukeworthy lazy Family Guy, didn’t watch Bob’s Burgers (still watching earlier seasons), American Dad at least tried to do something different, but the musical pieces were pretty awful. Ho ho ho.

  191. says

    @ Ogvorbis

    That was quite something on Dr Pangloss’s Michael Nugent’s blog. For all their claims of skepticism and science, they display neither. Rather: a sorry attempt to get ahead of the game when it comes to ignorance of cognitive development, and a judgemental vindictiveness driven by impulse more than consideration. They seem to make no bones about their aversion to me either (Link: banned tardigrade).

    @ Cripdyke

    Your rendition of the Jabberwocky was frabjoyous!

    @ Lynna & MM

    There is a really good book I read recently, on the 2007/2008 financial collapse, written by Neil Barofsky, who was right in the thick of it – trying to stop all the crooks. Recommended by Mano Singham.

    @ Tony! His Fordshoop!

    You were in a rather strange dream I had about Ken Ham. I had beamed him onto my spacecapsule and had delivered him to the Atheism plus spaceship, of which you were in charge. I got the job of showing him around and keeping an eye on him. I’m not sure he understood anything properly, but it seemed to make a very big impression on him. In spite of your welcome, I ended up sending him to Earth in a fit of jealousy (he had developed a crush on one of the crew). Fortunately I had my camera with me in my dream, and posted the footage to the Thunderdome.

  192. morgan ?! epitheting a metaphor says

    Oggie, welcome home. I had a dream about you. We were walking among the redwoods in Muir Woods and laughing and laughing and laughing.

  193. yubal says

    A quote from today:

    Hey you little round yellow piece of plastic!

    I don’t know who dropped you mindlessly on the street and I do not know your intended purpose, but I choose to pick you up and put you in a trash bin!

    May you reconnect with the generally accessible carbon pool as soon as possible!

    Although I appreciate the action of my oldest, I am increasingly worried that our parenting style might have been inappropriate and that there needs to be some action taken on our part to her her be more socially acceptable.

  194. rq says

    Actually, she sounds delightful! How old is she?

    I believe Portia linked to that book, because I know I got it off this thread of comments [x] iteration, and have it sitting on my desktop waiting for the time to be read. And I’m looking forward to it, since I read Ehrman’s The Problem of Suffering and Misquoting Jesus: Who Changed the Bible and Why? or some such. Either way, he is an author that is moving up my Ladder of Regard.

    The Mellow Monkey
    I would recommend The Problem of Suffering and Misquoting Jesus: Who Changed the Bible and Why? or some such, and it was extremely enlightening (this second one, I see, has “rebuttal” published, which is making me slightly curious…)
    On a completely different topic, I am currently re-reading The Nothing That Is: A Natural History of Zero by Kaplan, which is also the product of some very fine, humourous and non-mathy writing. And it’s not as Greek-culture-centric as it could be.
    If you haven’t read Neal Shubin’s Your Inner Fish by now, I would say do so immediately. That one was fun. :)

  195. rq says


    I just had a vision of a kids book in poem format by Crip Dyke and drawn by rq!

    See, I would totally do that. But now I don’t know if you’re being sarcastic or not.

  196. rq says

    I think that’s the awesomest compliment my art has ever gotten.
    Sorry for questioning your intentions.

    (Although, you know, faux-lesbian dragon porn may not be the subject matter for children… ;) )

  197. rq says

    I’m trying to figure out where it sounds like you’re doing parenting wrong, and I just can’t figure it out! It sounds like you have an amazingly creative and interesting person on your hands. Is she happy? Are you happy (generally speaking)?

  198. vaiyt says

    I always wanted to talk about this, but I didn’t find an opportune moment to say it.

    I have an ambiguous relationship with privilege. As a white man in a city that is 80% black, I’ve always had a ton of privilege in my early life, but didn’t start noticing it until I grew up and picked up on some things that happened around me. I grew up in a rich neighborhood (literally a street away from the single most expensive plot of land in the entire city), albeit the poorest part of it – but that gives me the advantage of never being questioned in my integrity when I tell where I live. Meanwhile, people living in certain (poor and majority-black) areas have a hard time landing jobs once they mention their address. I had the good fortune of going to a college with a history of being highly inclusive, so I got to work with wonderful people of all stripes and colors; but I saw my brother’s graduation at the federal university a block away, and the class was practically all white.

    On the other hand, the place where I came from marks me as an un-privileged people in other regards. My lily-white and blonde cousin was treated like shit down south due to his origins and accent. Plenty of immigrants from here end up there suffering from prejudice. On TV, people like me are mostly outdated stereotypes – we’re quaint, lazy bumpkins and our cities are stuck in the fucking 17th century. I hear hurtful jokes from my Skype friends – that’s from people who think I am smarter than they are, mind you. Another cousin of mine who is a mechatronics student, in a convention of robot-builders, also got to hear racist shit from the other competitions – and he’s also whiter than I am.

    I think my experiences might have helped me understand privilege, but there was a time when I believed bullshit about reverse racism and welfare queens. I cringe whenever I see people around me repeating the same crap, and struggle to make them see things as I do. It’s hard.

  199. bassmike says

    Hi all – especially Ogvorbis

    Back from weekend of grumbleChristmasshoppinggrumble and rehearsal.

    We have an annual Kids Christmas concert. We actullay it’s two of the same concert on one day. No religious stuff, just music and games for the kids. It’s very popular and sells out both shows at (unnamed large) local venue. Saturday’s performances will be the first that my daughter has been able go to. Looking forward to it. The whole orchestra dress in appropriate costumes for the theme of the year. This time it’s films. The percussion section (of which I am an associate member) are all superheros. This brings me to the point, that I’m sure you’re aware of: men’s costumes are fine, but the women’s costumes are all ‘sexy’ – short skirts, plunge neck lines etc. I know it’s the way they are protrayed in the comics but still rampant misogyny.

  200. rq says

    Tony!!! Happy birthday! *fireworks&confetti*
    Greetings also from bluentx who won’t be in the Lounge ’til later.

    (Hmm… Perhaps this one is more appropriate?)

    Oh, that sounds like a fun concert (except those costumes… perhaps you can reverse, where the women go as male superheroes, and the men can go as female ones?).

    Sadly (but not too sadly), I’ve opted out of participating in this year’s Choir series of christmas concert – although we were lucky enough to be invited as the guest choir of the National Theatre’s christmas show. We were part of a big christmas bonanza two years running (where the show is put on in the local exhibition hall, giant place), I figured the rehearsals and time invested would just be too much this year. Still, I plan on going to one show / dress rehearsal. And ours isn’t particularly religious, either, which is really rather lovely. :)

  201. birgerjohansson says

    I am reading “Misquoting Jesus” this week.

    Lack of preciousss vitamin made Gollum a loser
    Somewhere else, I read that West Texas has the same climate as Mordor. But what about the differences between Gorgoroth and Udun?

    if you can’t build Stonehenge then maybe a terrarium

  202. bassmike says

    rq yours sounds like a good choir concert to go to. It’s difficult to find pieces that are not too/not all all religious.

    Costume-wise, in my defence, in previous years I’ve dressed as: an angel, a pantomime dame, a victorian urchin and a cossack dancer (complete with Ukrainian shirt courtesy of my wife’s family). So, I have adopted looks of varying silliness in the cause of entertainment! I think it’s great for the kids, and a selling point for the concerts. Howevet that does in no way excuse the blatent sexism that I mentioned upthread.

    I know I’ve said it before but: Happy Birthday Tony!

  203. rq says

    Aw, score!
    Some guy for whom I did some literary translations a couple of years ago remembers me… And has contacted the company through which I work to specifically request that I take on his latest short story. I feel… recognized. :)

  204. rq says

    Modern celebrities in Renaissance paintings. Some work better than others, but there’s a few that are hilarious.

    I would love to go to one of your orchestra’s costumed concerts – that sounds like so much fun, and something my kids would love! Also it sounds like a good range of costumes – even with this year’s misogynistic selection. Maybe there’s a way you percussionists can tweak them so it’s not as bad.

  205. ImaginesABeach says

    Good morning. The 3rd Monday in December is Gratitude Day for the Beach family. We take this day to thank the teachers and staff at the kids’ school (because teaching is hard work and important work and requires a special skill set that I completely lack) as well as a few other people that have done nice things for us over the past year. It’s not supposed to be a general “I’m thankful for good friends and nature” stuff, it’s supposed to be directed at people. We thank these people by baking them cookies. This year, we did around 70 dozen cookies, because there are that many awesome people around us.

    I rarely comment on FtB anymore because I just don’t have the time or energy, but I do peer into the Lounge a couple times a week. I would like to take this time to say thank you to everyone who continues to fight the good fight. There are so many nasty people out there and you folks are some of the best troll fighters around. Not to mention that you are just good people.

    Happy Gratitude Day. Have a cookie on me.

  206. says

    Og! *gentlebutsincerehugs*

    Loved the drawings. I especially liked Img_2344 on page 3. I think that would make a great sculpture. With your permission, I’d like to give it a go sometime.

    *hugs* for everyone!

  207. Portia, in absentia says

    I did link to a pdf of Lost Christianities online – but now cannot locate good copy anymore.

    rq, let me know what you think! (With all your spare leisure reading time ;) )

    ImaginesABeach – Happy Gratitude Day to you! That’s a neat idea. I recall your epic level of cookie-baking, and I live vicariously through you – haven’t baked much at all this year. Guess it’s because I’ve been focusing on knitting and a little painting, for gifts.

    Anyway, cheers to your great traditions:)

    Reasons I love having come to work in an office with other people; BUTTERSCOTCH CINNAMON ROLLS. Sooooo good. Apparently it’s tradition here that people bring treats on their respective birthdays. That seems silly to me (you’re supposed to be treated on your birthday! not vice versa!) So I made a deal with my paralegal that we trade our birthdays and bring stuff on each other’s days.

  208. birgerjohansson says

    Much recommended (fantasy, omnibus collection of three volumes) “The Legend Of Eli Monpress”

  209. David Marjanović says

    cicely! *pouncehug*

    And, belatedly, it occurs to me to hope that the Hot Dog of Extreme Dubiousness caused you neither emotional distress nor internal damage.

    Your hope has been fulfilled. :-)

  210. carlie says

    Good god, this is unbelievable.
    So after everything else the last two weeks, the first news I got after coming to work this morning was that one of the other secretaries in the building, who I saw on Saturday morning at the funeral of the police dispatcher, was in a car accident later on Saturday and is in the ICU with a broken neck and undetermined brain damage. For all I know she got into an accident on the way home from the funeral (although probably later in the day, as the weather did get bad in the afternoon). I just…I don’t even.

  211. carlie says

    Thank you, Portia. It’s hitting me hard because I just spent two hours in a meeting with her on Friday, and then on Saturday we walked into the funeral together because we got there at the same time. She told me how she’d had trouble finding the place because she wasn’t a “saved” person, and I said I only really knew where it was because I used to live in the neighborhood, but I didn’t do the full “I’m an atheist too” comment because by then we were in the building next to a nun, and… that was it. We ended up sitting in different sections, and I didn’t have a chance to talk to her after. The message we got says she’s responsive, so that’s something.

  212. carlie says

    Oh, and thanks Esteleth – was cross-typing. I’m sorry to unload here, it’s just been so much at once.

  213. says

    theophontes @267, thank you for the book recommendation. The book by Mano Singham, Bailout: How Washington Abandoned Main Street While Rescuing Wall Street sounds excellent. Singham was brave to tell the truth. He’ll never work in Washington again.

  214. cicely says

    *waveback* at dontpanic.

    AvoTheNigel: Hi!

    I think I happy-birthday’d Tony! last week…but I’ve slept since then and therefore don’t remember…so here’s another happy-birthdaying, just in case.


    Aw, score!
    Some guy for whom I did some literary translations a couple of years ago remembers me… And has contacted the company through which I work to specifically request that I take on his latest short story. I feel… recognized. :)



    Aha! Here’s that Lost Christianities link.

    *manybighugs* for carlie.
    2013 has tended to suck in oh, so many ways.
    May 2014 prove to be in every way better—goodness knows, there’s plenty of room for improvement!

  215. says

    Good news: the insurance companies, not a reliable source of kudos for Obama, have decided that the Affordable Care Act is going to work, and that they had better get in on the action.

    Now that insurers are poised to spend a half-billion dollars in advertising, it appears the industry now believes the system will prevail.

    Right-wingers are still pontificating on the awfulness of Obamacare, and they are still chronicling its slow death (via lies, exaggerations, and misunderstandings). Pretty soon, reality is going to take that narrative away from them. There will be niggling problems, but no death of the program. I wonder if they will be as surprised by this as they were by the poll numbers on election night in 2012. They had better stop inventorying their own asses soon.

  216. says

    Paul Ryan talked nice for a little while. John Boehner seemed to take a small step toward the land of reason. But, no, it could not last.

    Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) on Sunday said Republicans will insist on more concessions for raising the debt limit in early 2014, indicating that the fiscal ceasefire he brokered in a budget deal may not last long.

    “We don’t want nothing out of this debt limit,” Ryan said on “Fox News Sunday.” “We are going to decide what it is we can accomplish out of this debt-limit fight.”

    So, yeah, USA citizens prepare to be held hostage by the right-wingers again.

  217. Portia, in absentia says


    Happy happy birthday! I’ll even let you win at Pictionary today! :D :D :D

    Really hope you have a lovely day, my friend.

  218. opposablethumbs says

    carlie, that’s just …. Awful. I’m so sorry. Extra hugs. And I hope she recovers.

    rq, congratulations on the well-deserved recognition!
    I hope I wished you a happy birthday day, Tony, but have some extra wishes just in case.

  219. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    That is, well, words fail. I am hoping for a life that includes many more years of much joy for your co-worker, and am depositing here an unspecified but very large number of hugs for you, to be retrieved as needed.

    Very happy for you.

    If you end up translating any potato jokes, let me know.

  220. Portia, in absentia says


    I think so, but I personally avoid it due to the possibility for misunderstanding. According to the internet, the origins are not problematic.*

    *Obviously I recognize that this doesn’t mean it’s not problematic in application.

    If you are making a funny, I apologize for my literal-brained-ness. It’s something I’ve tried to switch off but i can’t.

  221. The Mellow Monkey: Non-Hypothetical says

    Oh, carlie. I am so sorry. I hope your coworker has as little pain and few struggles as possible in all this.

    Happy birthday, Tony!

    Thank you all for the book suggestions. As all of the ones mentioned here are ones I haven’t read yet, this will help immensely.

    Re: Being the child of a non-vaccinator.

    I did not have the problems of that writer, fortune be praised. I also initially went without vaccination due to a doctor’s recommendation (I was born covered in eczema and with a heart condition, so it was decided to be in my best interests to wait). I am so deeply grateful that there are so many people whose kids can get vaccinated that have them immunized, because without them I would not have had the healthy childhood I did. And the more people who avoid vaccinations for no good reason, the greater risk for those who can’t be immunized.

    I got lucky. As more kids who can be immunized aren’t, there will be fewer lucky ones.

  222. rq says

    Just… *hugs* That’s all. :(

    Ye Olde Blacksmith
    Yes, go for it – I’d love to see the result! For some background info, that’s supposed to be Sleipnir (note the 8 legs). Loki’s bad luck, as I like to think.

    I’ll get back to you about Lost Christianities in a few weeks’ months’ time! :D

    Thank you. :) Incidentally, I now read all of your comments in your Real Voice, which is… well, it just is. :) And I hope your family is well!

    Crip Dyke
    You’re first on my Notify in Case of Potato Jokes list. ;) (Why, yes, I do have one.. now.)

    They sometimes have shows in January for those who can’t make it in December – it does tend to sell out fast. We’re going in mid-January this year, too. Check dates ahead! Good luck!

  223. ButchKitties says

    I got a summons for jury duty last Monday. They say it’s random, but I swear I get a summons the week after my 24 month exemption period expires. I call the number Sunday night to see if my group number has to go in Monday morning. It does. I show up, my name gets called. I’m one of the first fourteen people seated in the jury box for a felony criminal case.

    Like the last time I was picked for jury duty, it’s a sexual assault case. We hear a reading of the charges. I start thinking about the last trial I had to sit through, and how at the end of the trial I was ended up glad that I hadn’t reported my own rape even though the jury convicted him (I was an alternate). The judge asks us if we, for any reason, think we can’t fulfill our duties. And then I have to announce to the entire courtroom that I’d like to be dismissed because of my own history. Of course, this was also on the paperwork I filled out before we even entered the courtroom, but I guess they needed me to say it in front of an audience too.

    It was this trial: I can’t say I’m sorry I didn’t have to listen to the gory details of what he did.

    The cherry on the crap sundae was, as I was leaving the courtroom, hearing a woman ask to be dismissed from jury duty because, “As a Christian, homosexuality is deeply upsetting to me.” I’d been doing a really good job keeping myself calm up until that point.

  224. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says


    They already added dates, 3 and 5 January, but those are sold out too.
    I’ll be checking their page in case they add another.

    Giselle is on later in January, but I wanted our first ballet to be something more lighthearted.

  225. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    thank you for sharing your story, here and there.


    I forgot to say HB2U earlier. Please consider it done now.

  226. ButchKitties says

    Thanks. Blargh. Dunno why I’m having such a hard time shaking this one off. Reading up on the case after the fact is probably not helping. Put down the Internet, BK.

  227. rq says

    Yeah, Giselle is a bit of a downer. Nice, but a downer. (Also upends that trope where the guy-next-door gets the girl, because rich princes just have it so tough, haha – and never mind the fact that the girl in the middle is still dead.)
    Sometimes they show Sleeping Beauty around this time of year, that one’s a bit perkier and pretty nice, too. Not as season-appropriate, though.

  228. Portia, in absentia says


    All you have to do (and there is Supreme Court case law on the subject) is affirm that you understand your obligation to tell the truth :)

  229. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    I don’t know that any of you can help, but I am **so** on the ragged edge here. If I wrote about it, it would need trigger warnings.

    I’m so fucked I just don’t even know what to say, but I can’t talk about it in meatspace, for various reasons, so all I can really ask for is good wishes.

  230. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    When they ask you to swear, they (still!) typically ask you to swear “so help you god”. It is not required that you so swear, but you will be asked to so swear.

    I have twice had a reason to be asked to swear that. Both times I said, “No.” The judge then asks a couple of questions, and I make it clear I respect the court and the law, but that part of respecting the court and the law is not putting any obligations I do or do not feel to any god or gods above my duty to the court. I suggest that there may be religious reasons to lie about certain things. I further state that my refusal to swear “so help me god” is a denial of the power of any god to cause me to mislead the court.

    Each time the judge looked at me askance at, “No,” approvingly during the initial part of my responses, and as if I were a tiresome, insufferable person for that last part.

    It is what it is, and I didn’t say, “Fuck you,” to the court for pushing religion in my face, but I think the judges were both perceptive enough to understand that I resented even being asked to swear to a god. I’m guessing that they respected that, but I have some evidence that they thought my behavior was also problematic.

    If true, that would drive me nuts. Saying I refuse to be religiously bullied is not the same thing as attempting to religiously bully. I’m not forcing my beliefs down their throats. It’s the US court system that says what is truly required is affirming one’s obligation to be truthful and not affirming any god in particular will get me if I do something wrong. It is beyond me why more than 200 years after the founding of a secular US state we still have courts asking people to swear to a god and then say, if you object, “Well, okay, but you’re kind of a jerk for making a big deal out of it.”

    If “do you agree that if you lie in court and god bites you on the ass for it, you deserved it?” isn’t the question to which they really want an answer, it shouldn’t be the question that they are asking.

  231. ButchKitties says

    *Hugs* for CD and Carlie

    I wish I could mail you all some cookies. I don’t have many special skills, but I do make a damn fine chocolate chip cookie. And an award winning* black forest cherry torte.

    *The award was a Girl Scout bake-off when I was ten, but dammit, I’m counting it.

  232. Esteleth, statistically significant to p ≤ 0.001 says

    CD, if you would like to send me an email for the sake of griping/commiseration, feel free.

  233. bluentx says

    Official Birthday Greetings to follow:

    *throws confetti* (Of course!)

    Tony! (Have someone else make you a drink Mr. Manager!

    Alverant (If you’re reading today I hope you are feeling better than last week. It sucks to be sick on you b-day*!)

    — One of my oldest friends B . (Tho she probably doesn’t read FtB.)

    I left a voice mail for B with the usual annual message.
    Me: Happy Birthday and just remember– you’ll always be older than me.
    Her (usual response): Older by one day! Big deal!
    Me: Older is still older…)

    *I know from years of experience. As a kid I wondered why I was always sick for my birthday and Christmas. Didn’t find out the answer until adulthood: cedar/juniper/various evergreens allergy! Guess when peak pollen season is?

  234. bluentx says

    re: swearing or affirming

    Last time I was before a judge and was asked that question, I didn’t have time to say “I affirm..” He wasn’t listening and didn’t even give time enough to get out the standard “I do” much less a correction!
    He was about to retire and was probably just going through the motions (no pun intended) or possibly had never had anyone use the alternative response. (I wouldn’t be surprised by the latter here in the Bible Belt that is Texas.)

  235. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    E-mail sent. Plz notify me here if you send one back. Talking to professors is just heightening anxiety & I don’t wanna open e-mail if I don’t have to.

  236. says

    Crip Dyke:

    If there’s anything I can do IRL, let me know. Otherwise, the best I can offer is *hugs* if you want ’em, and my deepest and sincerest wishes for good outcomes whether you want those wishes or not.

  237. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    And it’s in your court, but I think everything that needs to be kept free of the Lounge probably has been for now. I’m not going to drop what I said in the email here, but I don’t pretend that I don’t have depression.

    Of course, if you decide you want to check in in more detail, feel free to e-mail or call.

  238. Esteleth, statistically significant to p ≤ 0.001 says

    All the *hugs*, CD.

    You know how to contact me if you need.

  239. carlie says

    Crip Dyke, I got lots of hugs today, I can give you all of them.

    Happy birthday, Tony!

    More suckage today, in the “rotten things that I feel awful for feeling rotten about b/c of all the more rotten things I know about that aren’t mine to deal with” whirlpool. I think I’m going to have to break out the pear brandy and go to bed early. Thanks to everyone, especially Dalillama, dõki, cicely, rq, Portia, Esteleth, Giliell, Nutmeg, nigelTheBold, opposablethumbs, Crip Dyke, Beatrice, Mellow Monkey, ButchKitties, and anyone else I left out for the kindnesses.

  240. cicely says

    Crip Dyke, *hugs*, and the very best wishes.

    bluentx, I don’t think I’ve happy-birthdayed you, yet.
    Happy Birthday!

  241. bluentx says

    Thanks, cicely! You’re the first on the block :)

    And I just got a birthday present. On arriving at work I found a memo reminding employees of the ‘maximum vacation leave accrual policy’. Oh, yeah, I should have burned some vacation time already! So, I called my supervisor. (He actually answered! That’s a problem sometimes.) And yahoo! He agreed (even with short notice) to allow me to take off the rest of the week!

  242. rq says

    Happy birthday to you, too!
    Yay for no work rest of the week!!! That’s a rather nice present. :)

    Crip Dyke
    *so many hugs*
    Unfortunately it’s 6.30 and I’ve just packed the elder kids out the door and I’m going back to bed so it’s too early for any potato jokes, but I’m going to find you a danged good one (that is, one so bad it’s just so good) later today. I promise!!

  243. bluentx says

    Want a seasonal chuckle? Go read the reviews on Amazon for The Star of Bethlehem: A Skeptical View.
    The only negative review (so far) is by… wait for it… a priest from Boys Town!
    Some gems within his critique:

    He [the author] doesn’t see the contradiction of an atheist or agnostic tackling the documents relating to the origins of Christianity, since the action of God is everywhere in those documents….But there is a more blatant contradiction in his book. He is something of a scientist, with scientific credentials that would choke a horse – BUT – he uses those scientific credentials to validate his tackling the Star of Bethlehem, as if his credentials made him an authority on the subject. His astronomy has no place in the question of the Star of Bethlehem. That is my field. The Star of Bethlehem is beyond Science, beyond Astronomy and beyond human comprehension.

    Bolding mine

    An astrophysicist “has no place” in talking about a star??!! Oooohhhkaaay, Dude. And that ‘star’ is “beyond science”.

    I can’t stop laughing…

  244. chigau (違う) says

    Must be the last day of exams for the undergrads across the street.
    That is one noisy party for a Monday night.
    It’s only -4°C but they’re indoors.

  245. chigau (違う) says

    I have long “thought” that since very, very few people actually saw The Star Of Bethlehem, it wasn’t an actual Star Up In The Sky.
    More like Tinkerbell floating along just in front.
    (depends on the shit yer smokin’)

  246. bluentx says

    Thanks for the balloons&fireworks&champagne &hugs, rq.

    Sad part of all that time off is– I’ll probably work harder around the house (so many inside and outside projects!) that I’ll need to come back to work to get rest :)

  247. chigau (違う) says

    Lucky you.
    I just got my sidewalks cleared and it rained.
    In Edmonton, Alberta.
    In December.

  248. chigau (違う) says

    Happy Merry.
    (free advice follows)
    Use your time off to watch old movies and eat popcorn.

  249. says

    Black people don’t tip.

    If you do drugs there is something wrong with you.

    By virtue of their oppression, gay people are less inclined to engage in bigotry and discrimination than heterosexuals.

    3 examples.
    I know there are more.
    These are but the ones that came to mind first. I’ll come back to them, and explain their importance later.

    As I begin to type this out, the time is 11:12. The anniversary of the day of my birth is almost over. I have just returned from having drinks at a local gay bar (The Cabaret), something I’ve not done in nearly 6 months. I do not feel like I have a buzz, despite having had a Screwdriver, a shot of Fireball, and three glasses of Prosecco (legally, I probably do, but I took a cab, so that means squat). I am closing the day out as I started it: alone.

    Those who frequent the Lounge are likely aware that I long to have someone to share my life with. I long to have someone-a like minded individual with whom I share important traits in common-that I can enjoy life experiences with. As of this writing, at 38, I’ve not had that with anyone. I awoke today, sometime around 2:15 pm feeling lonely.

    These are the feelings I experience every year around this time for multiple reasons. Yes, there’s no one significant to share my life with. There’s no one to be intimate with. I also don’t get to spend the holidays with my family. I’m also a hamster spinning around in my wheel, going nowhere in life. I also have the memory of my best friend-my not-quite-lover but everything shy of that- in the forefront of my mind (his name was Micah-previously referred to as ‘M’) and he passed away January 7, 2010; I found him dead in his bedroom. I’ll never forget touching his cold, dead body. I’ll never forget the scream that erupted from my lungs to my other roommate and friend. I’ll never forget crying as I called my parents at 12:00 am to tell them the news.

    It’s now 11:25 pm.

    The sorrow, loneliness and inner angst I felt is still there, but it is muted.
    In its place I feel conviction.
    I feel determination.
    I feel drive.

    For the first time in my life, I feel like a part of something important.
    Something worth fighting for.
    Something worth dying for.
    Something greater than me.

    It was 11:00 pm. Exactly 30 minutes ago, I was in the cab on the way home from the bar. My conversation with the cab driver was fascinating. We discussed alcoholic beverages, drinking and driving, responsible alcohol consumption, the role of parents in raising children to be responsible adults, victim blaming, rape culture and more.

    Very little of our discussion involved me or my birthday. Instead, the conversation centered around others. People in society that are unfairly treated. Those who lack the education to make informed choices. Those in society that are not raised to understand the importance of consent.

    I spoke my mind.
    He spoke his.
    My conscious efforts over the last few years to pause and allow others to express themselves have borne fruit. Though I have much to say on the above subjects, I had less trouble (than in times past) shutting up and letting the conversation happen, rather than monologuing.

    It’s 11:38 pm.

    I’m sitting in my bed composing this and realizing something: I like the person that I am. That person owes a debt of gratitude to my parents.

    I was taught to read between the lines.
    To not accept on face value what I was told.
    To appreciate the value in an education.
    To not be ashamed of who I am.
    To assist those less fortunate than I am in the manner that suits me.
    To be dependable, reliable, conscientious, compassionate, empathetic.

    For all that, and so much more, I am thankful.

    I also owe a debt of gratitude to the so many people here. Freethoughtblogs in general, and Pharygula specifically.
    The lessons I’ve learned here will stay with me for (dare I say it) the rest of my life. Those three examples I listed at the beginning? Those biases that I had (yes, had)? I learned through so many wonderful people *here* how irrational those biases were. How incorrect they were. How fundamentally wrong I was. I learned to not only accept that I can be wrong, but to accept that I will be wrong. Moreover, I’ve learned that I can cure my ignorance. I’ve learned how to better seek out knowledge. I’ve learned how to combat irrationality. Those are indispensable lessons.

    I’ve also gained a deeper understanding of the complexity of social issues. I’ve had my eyes opened up to so many of the problems of the world. I’ve been privy to personal stories by many people that are horrific. I’ve resolved to do my best to not be part of the problem, but rather the solution.

    It’s 11:58 pm, and I’m finishing this post up with a thank you.
    To my parents. I love you. Deeply.
    To the Horde and PZ-you’ve been influential in so many ways and I cannot thank you all enough.

  250. says

    Happy birthday.
    Good to see you around here again.

    Crip Dyke (and anyone else):
    Please add my name to the list of those more than willing to listen if need be by email (whether it concerns your current problems or anything in the future). I fully understand why some things are best kept private. If you or anyone in the Lounge ever wants to communicate privately, I am always available @ tanthonyv at the yahoo thingee. As always, this applies to anyone who is in the Lounge (yes, lurkers too).

  251. bluentx says

    Thanks for the salutations (how often do you get to use that word) and the advice. I plan on some of that “old movie watching” but there is a tie-in with one of my projects. Must build that extra shelf for DVD’s that I never seem to get around to on my regular days off.

  252. Bicarbonate says

    Happy Birthday to Tony and Bluentx!

    Crip Dyke, I’m so sorry something I wrote offended you the other day. I’m really sorry you’re having trouble and I hope that whatever it is, you will work it out quickly.

    Butchkitties, I’ve never been on a jury. I would love to see how it works. Must be very strange in so many ways. Why do you think you get picked a lot? Is it alphabetical? Do all your names begin with the letter A or something? Or Z?

    Carlie, I’m sorry about all the deaths and accidents. It’s been a particularly bad year for that. And it’s a bad time of year, too. The beginning and end of winter seem to be times people disappear.

  253. Bicarbonate says

    rq, Congratulations for having your translations noticed. It’s such a thankless job usually. Having someone notice really means something.

  254. Bicarbonate says

    I’m reading More’s Utopia (1516). It’s not what I expected but didn’t have many expectations. So far what has struck me: Slavery exists for all the dirty work like butchering animals and carrying slop buckets. There are very few laws and rules except for ones that keep women in their place. Adultery is considered the highest crime; first time, you become a slave, second time, death penalty (Makes me wonder if More had a wife who fancied other men). All of the houses and cities are laid out pretty much the same way, sounds like 1950s suburbia. Everyone dresses the same way except clothes do show male vs. female, married vs. unmarried.

    I am guessing that the most interesting way to read the book would be as a counter-portrait of 16th century England.

  255. rq says

    I like the person you are now, too.

    Crip Dyke
    I found some potato jokes…

    Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?
    A: A dicktator.

    A potato, a Potato and a penis were talking about their awful lives. The potato said my life sucks, when i get big and fat they cut me up and cook me. The Potato said when I get big and fat they cover me in vinegar & throw me in a jar. The penis said, when I get big and fat they pull a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, damp room and bang my head against the wall till I throw up and pass out!

    And this picture was amusing.
    Annnd to close.

    What I learned: there’s apparently a potato meme on the internet that makes fun of people with disabilities. :(


    re: translation
    This particular client, it would have been strange if he hadn’t noticed me. The literary translations are usually quirky in that I do an initial translation, and then the author (who usually has some (and this is very, very important) grasp of the English language and vocabulary – enough to have an opinion) sends it back to me with comments and/or requests for changes, and it goes back and forth a couple of times, and people generally accept my suggestions (that take their wishes into account) – except for this guy. I think we had some of the snarkiest comment-exchanges within-text about the English language and what you can or cannot do with it, so I’m not surprised he remembers. :) But at the end of that saga, he’d already told my ‘handlers’ that he would prefer to work with me in the future. While I’m not a big fan of his fiction (mediocre, with some good ideas), I enjoyed the process. [/long comment about nothing]

    Never fear, that rain will probably ice over for the weekly village hockey game by tomorrow.
    Although what those kids are doing inside, I don’t know.

  256. says

    @ Lynna, OM


    Mano wrote the review. The author was Neil Barofsky.

    @ Cripdyke

    When they ask you to swear, they (still!) typically ask you to swear “so help you god”. It is not required that you so swear, but you will be asked to so swear.

    In Hong Kong, you (atheist or Buddist) swear on yourself; that is to say that you take resposibility for your words. Personally.

    For those goddists that want a weasel clause to pass responsibility onto YHWH, there is a babble and a koran. I pressume Jews are meant to bring their own torahs along.

    @ Tony

    Hippo, birdy, two ewes.

    Did you watch your birthday Pharyngula (the) movie yet? With popcorn?

  257. rq says

    that is to say that you take resposibility for your words. Personally.

    Awesome. This should apply to everyone.

  258. opposablethumbs says

    Slightly belated Happy birthday salutations to bluentx. Yay for the days off, and good luck with the home projects :-)

    Tony and Crip Dyke, a respectful offer of hugs – for the different reasons hugs to you both are something I’d like to send. I am sorry for the things that are hurting you, and full of admiration for your integrity and fundamental core of generosity to and caring for others even in the face of your own problems.

  259. bluentx says

    To wrap up before I head home:

    Thanks to Tony!,Dalillama,Bicarbonate and any others who may send birthday wishes my way later. Right on time actually, opposablethumbs . My b-day is the 17th. Confusion ensued (apparently) because I started commenting about it before midnight. Damn time zones and stuff…:)
    I’ll be reading but probably won’t be able to comment until…(looks at calendar)… after christmas!!

    Happy Solstice everybody!

  260. bassmike says

    Happy Birthday bluentx

    Carlie hugs to you. Also to Crip Dyke I don’t know how much help I could be to you, but if you do want it, let me know and I will give my email address.

    Tony! if you’re anything like your persona her in real life, which I’ve no doubt you are, you’re a wonderful person to be around. You write such beautiful posts: I found 362 very moving. I too strive to be a better person; you are an example to me.In terms of relationships, I do have a huge amount of sympathy: After a divorce it took me years to find anyone. There were many times I despaired, but in the end it just happened. I’m sure it will for you too. Birthday and holidays are always tough.

    Further to nothing whatsoever, my wife has had/is getting over norovirus. Not nice. I think I may have had a mild version of it, otherwise it’s something to look forward to! :-| So far our daughter has shown no signs either.

  261. rq says

    Here’s hoping you avoid that sucker (the norovirus)! *shudder*

    Extra solstice wishes for you, too!


    I’m pretty sure weeding isn’t supposed to be a December activity in the northern hemisphere…

  262. says

    Happy Birthday, bluentx

    So, how does woo work?
    Today I had an appointment with my GP to talk about the result of my regularly done bloodworks.
    She was really excited, because that godsdamn liver value which is always too high and which had kind of skyrocketed last time was at a record low (my record low. Still too high, though). Had I taken this cleansing, healing earth she’d recommended?
    Well, no, I don’t believe in that stuff.
    Ah, she’d thought that this had been the reason…
    Had I taken it, well, proof that it works.

  263. bassmike says

    Thanks rq I don’t want it!

    I should probably just learn to keep my mouth shut and my fingers still.

    What’s up?

  264. rq says

    Ah, just more discussion with fellow kindergartener parents of Middle Child’s group. More money than anticipated was collected, so now there’s a separation into Spend It All Now! and Save Some For Later! camps. It’s just the attitude that next time, everyone will be just as capable and willing to pitch in just as much or more kind of… pisses me off. Because setting a large-gift precedent puts a certain sort of pressure on for the future, and it’s always better to keep something in reserve for the next time. Plus it was more or less agreed that anything in excess was going to go into a future fund.
    And of course, I have an opinion about this, and I also like to take things personally. So… Just a general sort of bleargh, thanks for asking.
    Now I will take out some frustration by going to the basement to burn something (heh, wood-fired furnace needs fuel…).

  265. rq says

    Ye Olde Blacksmith
    You out-high-temperature me. :) But the act of burning (safely) small things (that are meant for burning) is surprisingly therapeutic.
    Maybe one day we’ll build a forge into the basement, like my older brother did, in his quest to rediscover the secret of Damascus steel. I don’t know if he succeeded, but he sure has a lot of fun down there!

  266. bassmike says

    I’ve always had a fascination with, and derived a certain comfort from, burning. I like watching wood fires burn. Sadly I have a house with central heating and no real fire.

  267. says


    I thought that might have been the case. I couldn’t quite recall the name, as my Norse mythology is a bit rusty. Thanks for the permission. It will be some time before I attempt it since my torch is messed up, but I will send you pics of it when complete.

    362 was beautiful. You are a wonderful person.

    Happy (belated) Birthday to Tony and Bluentx!

    Crip Dyke and Carlie and Everyone
    Spocktopus wants to offer tentacular (but logical) *hugs*

  268. says

    If you have a backyard (and local codes allow it) smallish portable fire pits are available in many places. During the ice storm last week, we invited friends over and cooked sausages and drank beer out in the backyard over ours. It was fantastic. My neighbors thought that we were crazy, though. (Texans, generally freak out when snow or ice hits.)

  269. says

    I like the person you are, too!

    Burning things: Yes please! There’s nothing like having a nice fire. I can cite evo-psych to support my preference as natural back from the days when we lived in caves!

    Also, my brain is teaching me a lesson about its internalized cultural stereotypes.
    As I just seconded the book-recommendation over at the book thread, let me repeat it here: Patrick Rothfuss’ Kingkiller books.
    Now, in these books there is a warrior culture. Their training, parts of their philosophy, naming conventions and such are clearly based on eastern cultures and traditions. At least on the western perception of them. (And some things are not and they are very interesting, but you must read the juicy bits yourselves, then we can discuss them).
    But their physical description more resembles Scandinavians (not quite, but, well). And several times I found my brain to be in conflict with menitions of “sand-coloured hair” because it had immediately supplied jet-black.
    Bad, bad brain.

  270. rq says

    Happy birthdaying to vaiyt! *cake&sparkles&heliumballoons*

    I like watching a fire burn, and I like the action of making that fire, setting it alight, and adding fuel to it. It probably is a very evo-psych activity, but at the same time, it’s also the kind of constructively destructive little action that stands in for a multitude of angers and rages and violent desires. Like pruning, actually – I discovered this during the summer. Feeling upset? Grab the shears and go prune something. That small motion of lopping off extra bits while going “Yah, yah, yah!!!” in my mind was about the best thing for me.

    Thanks for the book recommendation. I’ll add it to my fiction list. Sounds really intriguing, though!

  271. says

    Defniitely agreed on the “smashing things feels good sometimes” front; thence, my e-mail addy.

    The word “cavebabe”, we coined one night when I was with my ex, in the house we’d bought for us and the kids, which had a fireplace. Having a fireplace means having an axe. Having an axe and firewood to chop if you want provides a stellar therapeutic environment: smashable things that need smashing for good reasons (we’d like a fire tonight).

    So, one evening after an annoying day of pesteriferous clients, I shouldered our axe to head outside and smash up some wood. “I go. Smash wood. Feel good.” I said, to my partner. “Cavebabe smash wood good; cavewife make dinner,” was her reply, and a nickname was born. Cavewife didn’t last long; we decided instead we were a pair of superheroes for our kids, Cavebabe and Lavender Lass (aka Onti Kaybay and Onti Puppachik, as we were benymed by a friend’s young one).

    Quake and its successors also played a valuable therapeutic role, which I now fulfill through the use of more modern tools (GTA, Mass Effect).

  272. says

    @ Lynna, OM


    Mano wrote the review. The author was Neil Barofsky.

    Ah. sheesh. [headdesk] Thanks for the correction. I’m going to order the book. It sounds like a one of a kind good thing.

  273. rq says

    I sure hope someone writing on that blog has multiple children, because I’d sure love to share in that experience! (This is not snark. I have three kids, and I want to hear about someone else venting about three kids!!! Small ones, at the moment… Anyone in the Lounge who regularly vents about any children (looking at you, Giliell), you’re already a big help. :) )

  274. says

    From what the other writers have mentioned, there’s a little bit of everything represented. Only children and multiples; babies, kids, and teens. Right now there’s only four posts up, but more will be added by the day!

  275. says

    We don’t really need more proof, but here is more proof that America’s prison/justice system is a complete disaster:

    … In 2010, The Economist highlighted a case in which four Americans were arrested for importing lobster tails in plastic bags rather than in cardboard boxes. That violated a Honduran law which that country no longer enforces, but because it’s still on the books there its enforced here. “The lobstermen had no idea they were breaking the law. Yet three of them got eight years apiece.” When the article was published 10 years later, two of them were still behind bars.

    A UN report noted that Alabama officials had arrested dozens of people who were too poor to repair septic systems that violated state health laws. In one case, authorities took steps to arrest a 27-year-old single mother living in a mobile home with her autistic child for the same “crime.” Replacing the system would have cost more than her $12,000 annual income, according to the report. …

    Last week, the Justice Department’s Office of the Inspector General released its annual review of DOJ operations. And couched in typically cautious bureaucratic language, the report details a growing crisis within the federal prison system that threatens to undermine the DOJ’s other vital functions, including the enforcement of civil rights legislation, counter-terrorism and crime-fighting. …

  276. says

    … The media doesn’t want you to know this, but practically every one of these young kids shooting up schools is inspired by something to do with leftism, socialism, what have you. Every one of them is.

    When [the media] can’t tie [shooters] to the Tea Party, you don’t hear about it anymore. You hear the mental health explanation.

    Well, what mental health problem? Liberalism, guaran-damn-teed, is what’s causing this. …

    The above quotes are excerpted from Rush Limbaugh’s Monday broadcast.

    Now you know, liberalism is to blame for school shootings, guaran-damn-teed.

  277. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    the money quote is “what have you”.

    Leftism, socialism, capitalism, christianity, vuvuzelas – they’re pretty much all inspired by something that could be described by “what have you”.

    What a great moral truth teller of our time, is Rush Limbaugh! So perceptive! So eloquent!

  278. says

    North Carolina is adding to the dummification of school-age children.

    In July, the increasingly right-wing legislature in North Carolina passed a bill to divert $10 million from the public school budget to create vouchers that would give low-income students up to $4,200 a year to pay for private school tuition. …

    …allow public money to go to unregulated private schools that are not required to meet any educational or teacher preparation standards. … money will be available to “home schools”—literally schools set up in someone’s house. Homeschooling traditionally has been done by parents. But the state recently changed its home schooling law to allow people who aren’t parents or legal guardians educate kids in a group setting….

    … instructional materials teach Bible-based “facts”—such as the existence of the Loch Ness Monster. The materials also suggest that the Ku Klux Klan “tried to be a means of reform, fighting the decline in morality and using the symbol of the cross” and that dinosaurs and humans lived at the same time, for instance. Gay people are singled out for special scorn in one Bob Jones teachers’ guide, which says that they “have no more claims to special rights than child molesters or rapists.” And math haters—these books are for you. The company writes on its website:

    Unlike the ‘modern math’ theorists, who believe that mathematics is a creation of man and thus arbitrary and relative, A Beka Book teaches that the laws of mathematics are a creation of God and thus absolute…A Beka Book provides attractive, legible, and workable traditional mathematics texts that are not burdened with modern theories such as set theory.

    These sorts of materials are now allowed in Louisiana’s voucher program as well, but North Carolina seems unique in diverting taxpayer dollars both to schools that teach wacky Christian curricula and to basically anyone who claims to be a “home school.” The state only has a single employee dedicated to overseeing its existing 700 private schools, which get visited on average once every three years …

  279. says

    Right-wing politicians are still campaigning on, and retaining their offices by, ramping up public fears over voter fraud. In Iowa, for example, more than a $150,000 was spent trying to find voter fraud. Having found none, conservative politicians are not discouraged. More restrictive voter ID laws are on the way.

    Texas voter ID laws are disenfranchising military vets and active military who are serving overseas.

    We definitely are going to have to fight hard to roll back these voter suppression ploys. I’m truly worried that these ploys will succeed, they will keep hard right doofuses in office when the 2014 vote is counted.

  280. Portia, in absentia says

    Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee DarkSpawn has a devious-looking little grin that melts my ornery heart. Hehehhe Thanks for sharing.

    And ‘grats on the new site!

    and *pouncehug*


  281. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    Thanks for pics.

    It’s so cute that gorilla and child are audley reminiscent.

  282. says

    Portia: *tackle hug!*

    I haven’t done anything yet. I mean, I’ve got a couple of posts that will be put up in a few days, but I only filled out the blogger application on a whim and didn’t even expect to hear back from anyone, let alone be included. SO YAY ME!

  283. rq says

    People should just accept the fact that I’m going to be bringing a rather large pastry again and deal with it. Consider it a gift. You don’t have to eat it, I’ll gladly take any and all leftovers home. Lots of hungry mouths.
    [/frustrated and pissed off]

    (Sorry y’all can skip my ranty comments that probably make no sense. Disorganisation and an inability to recognise the needs of others really makes me feel unhappy inside.)

  284. says

    More invitations to just leave the USA if you are black:

    Penitence has been made for slavery and Jim Crow. But, not unlike the retail customer who refuses to be satisfied, I believe there comes a time when we must give those who refuse to be satisfied the option of going elsewhere. Yes, I’m saying what you think I am saying. If, despite, America’s best efforts, blacks argue they are not treated fairly, that they are not given the same opportunity to succeed that whites are, if bad decisions that result in bad outcomes are the fault of white society, why stay here?

    If blacks are so mistreated, if the realities of life that beset people of every description are more onerous because of white people here in America, why stay? …

    Let them leave, and let them take liberals, socialists and the Obamas with them. …

    The above analysis and advice comes from WorldNetDaily’s Mychal Massie. I see he neatly gets rid of President Obama while he’s at it. What an incredible dunderhead.

  285. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Possibly, Alexandra. I’ll go look.

  286. says

    Happy birthday. I hope you have great day!



    Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee DarkSpawn has a devious-looking little grin that melts my ornery heart.

    [emphasis mine]
    Ha! You’re a big softie after all. I knew it was true.

  287. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    Not as yet. I suspect it will come in good time. Or she is free to pass on mine so that you can e-mail me directly.

  288. says

    Crip Dyke @417: Yes, that’s what it’s like. “I can’t hear you. I have a banana in my ear!” Good for a laugh, and laughter is better than despair.

  289. says

    I passed my #362 on to both my parents last night and awoke to responses from both of them. Both of them were proud of me (and complimented my writing), with my mom stating that she got choked up. Their response has put a smile on my face…a good start to the day, I think.


    I haven’t viewed it yet, bc my laptop only works properly in ‘Safe Mode’, but for some reason, my speakers are stuck on ‘mute’ while in that configuration.
    I just realized I can watch videos on my Nexus 7.
    Wow. Did anyone get the number of that clue-by-four that just hit me :)

  290. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    Did you get to the end?

    The end is the best part, it totally nails the voter fraud thing.

    Or are you just trying not to insert spoilers?

  291. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Gay people are singled out for special scorn in one Bob Jones teachers’ guide, which says that they “have no more claims to special rights than child molesters or rapists.”

    And I agree. Good thing human rights apply to all humans then.

  292. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    While I’m spamming:

    There are people I haven’t yet thanked. Bassmike, ye old blacksmith, the spocktopus hirself, I don’t remember if I’ve yet included cicely and carlie, probably others – sorry if you’ve been omitted by name, but all the words help. I’ve needed them, and they’ve helped.

    Ogvorbis, if you’re reading, my hard times never preclude me from holding your hand and loving you.

  293. thunk: y'all know ageism is a thing? says

    hi all!

    I’m… trying my best to avoid talking to assholes. Because as soon as I go on trips with them, something bigoted flies out of their mouth. I can’t even. and all the while I’m freaking out over hair and general powerlessness.

    Oh and two things? 1) videos without transcripts are annoying (and rather inaccessible). I don’t get why news sites have decided they can’t use text anymore and add additional overhead with pictures, while not providing the first option for people who can’t video for whatever reason. 2) image manips that involve faces posted on top of faces: I will never get them. Unfamiliarity and prosopagnosia is annoying.

  294. says

    Alexandra (née Audley)
    Thanks a lot! I think I broke my mouth going “aaaaawwwwww so cute” too hard. ;)


    videos without transcripts are annoying (and rather inaccessible).

    QFT! I’m not deaf but am very close to it. Transcripts are a huge help.

  295. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    There’s going to be a Christmas party at work.

    I don’t wanna.

    There will be a lot of drinking. They’re not my friends. I can’t relax.

  296. says

    Oh, that sucks, Beatrice. I’ve discovered that since I stopped drinking*, I’m finding it harder and harder to be around even people I do like when they’re drinking. Being made to go to a company party where alcohol will be freely used is something of a nightmare for me. Big sympathetic** hugs offered.

    * My meds don’t go well with alcohol, or more accurately, my liver doesn’t go well with my meds AND alcohol, so I dropped the alcohol, because the meds aren’t droppable. It does not help that one of the sexual assaults I’ve experienced involved heavy drinking on the part of the assailant.

    ** If bent and wobbly as ever. :)

  297. opposablethumbs says

    Tony, I’m happy but not in the least surprised that your parents are proud of you – damn, I only hope either of mine mature into people half as generous, self-aware, (in)justice-aware, empathetic, smart and eloquent as you are.

    Just as well you’re not British, I might have done you a mischief talking like that ;-) (it’s still true, though!)

  298. cicely says

    Tony!, you are fully entitled to like the person you are now—’cause the person you are now is pretty damned awesome! Just ask anyone here.

    Fails to meet my Minimum Requirements for a Good Time.
    Best of luck, bassmike, in avoiding it, for yourself and for your daughter.

    Now I will take out some frustration by going to the basement to burn something [*snip*]

    With napalm!

    Sometimes, when I’m feeling foolhardy, Daughter and I will play “Will it burn?”

    With moar napalm!!, probably yes.

    Happy birthday, vaiyt!
    At least, your phrasing leads me to infer that it’s happy-birthday-time for you.

    DarkToddler is clearly Up To No Good.
    Who knows what plots she is plotting?!?

    * My meds don’t go well with alcohol, or more accurately, my liver doesn’t go well with my meds AND alcohol, so I dropped the alcohol, because the meds aren’t droppable.

    …and neither is the liver.

  299. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Thanks, CaitieCat.
    I drink, but not much and being around (very) drunk people makes me uncomfortable.

  300. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    I find it particularly hard to be around straight people drinking.

    For some reason, the drinking as an excuse to hit on people and act rude thing seems to be more common in the straight spaces to which I have access than the queer spaces.

    It’s horrifying at its worst. Small house party, 5 men, 6 women (they clearly didn’t know what to do with me). One guy acting like a sexist jerk, walking in on women in the bathroom and insisting that they open their legs farther while peeing as the poor woman screams at him to get out, etc.

    All the guys defend him. The hosts of the party (both women) downplay behavior so as not to ruing their own party by kicking out someone who might then take someone else which might seriously skew the genders and we all know it’s no fun unless you’ve got a one-to-one ratio of really-realzy male men to really-realzy female women. Eventually super-jerk follows one of the women into a bedroom, locks door and pins her down, assaulting her. Huge deal, hosts trying to get through without busting down the door and owing landlord money, pandemonium. Eventually the hosts get in and his pants are unbuttoned, but with her struggles he never got the chance to pull anything out of them. Total nightmare.

    Host does not call cops.

    Host does not stab attacker with knife.

    Host does not, in the moment, insist that she never wants to see him or any of his defenders again.

    Host. Does. Not. Call. Cops.

    Party goes on while I’m providing peer counseling to the woman jerk face assaulted. She insists he not be anywhere near her. So host limits him to the whole house except one part of the living room, assaulted woman can have that.

    After 2 more hours of super-jerk, he insults host to her face. She says that is the last straw.

    What? “Rape my guests, but don’t call me ignorant and worthless?” That’s the moral stand you want to make?

    Fuck it. Straight people’s “dating parties” run too much risk of unforgettably horrific behavior for me to ever attend one again.

    And the alcohol? Fuck, I was worried about not drinking while other did going in, but that was the least of my worries.

  301. cicely says

    Crip Dyke
    That is all kinds of messed up, right from the get-go.
    And insulting the host is “the last straw”?!?!? Assault-with-an-option-on-rape does not register as an inexcusable affront?
    At least you were there to support the woman assaulted, since it sounds very much as if no one else was interested in even noticing that she might conceivably be in need of support.

  302. rq says

    Crip Dyke
    I can’t even… what cicely said, all of it. I have not the comprehension to get that party. And *hugs*, should they be appropriate for you at this moment. :/

  303. Portia, in absentia says

    CD –

    that is absolutely horrifying. Can’t blame you in the least.

    Tony –

    Sssshhhh don’t tell anybody.

  304. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    the arm-flail was a nice touch.

    Also, the following is nicely phrased:

    it sounds very much as if no one else was interested in even noticing that she might conceivably be in need of support

    in some ways it was worse that other women noticed-but-weren’t-interested-in-noticing. As soon as they all came together and threw up their hands over how to handle the situation, I, not knowing the woman beforehand, said that though I couldn’t be a friend there for her, I did have some training in responding after an assault and I could be with her if needed.

    They gratefully threw me at her (who was, fortunately, happy to have me) and then they stayed as much out of the south end of the living room as the man banned from there. Possibly more. I only remember the host coming over to us after that. I may not be giving her full credit, but I also think it was only twice, though once she stayed with us for a few minutes.

    There was some back and forth between the non-host women plus the one of the host women I knew, and the by standing guys. They were trying to get those guys to admit that what he had done was fucked up, but they weren’t just kicking the jerk out. It was bizarre. The host had decided that a jerk jerky enough to rape would be jerky enough to stay at a party after asked to leave (not an unreasonable assumption, but it should at least be tested). So what did she do? I suggested that you back up an insistence on his departure with a threat to call police if necessary (not for the assault per se, that wasn’t her choice to make, but for the trespassing). She said that she didn’t want to get the police involved, therefore a request to leave would be useless, therefore she wouldn’t even try.

    One of the worst nights of my life. I was just fucking boggled. I had been to straight parties before, I’d even been to that special kind of straight party the “dating party” where everyone works so hard to get gender balance so that every dick can fuck someone*. They were painful in various ways, but also to varying degrees. I even enjoyed myself at a spin-the-bottle party once when I was 13 (don’t know why, I was usually horribly awkward at that kind of thing, but a couple people decided that I was kissable and that was unexpected, and boosted my self esteem, and made the kissing fun), though not everyone had fun. So I’m not saying no straight party can ever be fun, or that it is a loving connection between two persons of differing genders that make a dating party awful. But there’s this thing that I call “dating parties”, and when they are thrown by straight people, with a primarily straight guest list, I will not go.

    *double-entendre intentional.

  305. says

    Crip Dyke
    … wow. There aren’t words for the level of fucked up that is. I’ve been to parties where booze and hooking up were on many people’s agendas. I recall at one of them a fellow groped a woman without consent, and found himself bodily ejected by the nearest 3-4 people (probably would have been more, but there wasn’t anyplace left to get hold of him), one of whom was the hostess. Granted, that one definitely counted as a queer space, rather than a straight space.

    On a completely different note, today I had a very frustrating conversation with a material supplier. They called yesterday saying that the billing address for the card we paid with doesn’t match, and kept insisting on that throughout the conversation this morning, but the charge has already gone through, so clearly the billing address is correct. The receipt shows the correct address as well, and the person on the phone could not or would not explain what was meant by ‘doesn’t match’ or what is was supposed to match. I finally got them to ship the damn material at least.

  306. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    I am ashamed of using the dick insult even in that particular context. Consider this my note of contrition.

    While I was reconsidering that, I realized that this:

    “Rape my guests, but don’t call me ignorant and worthless?” That’s the moral stand you want to make?

    has a not-parallel, but still interesting juxtaposition with:

    “Rape my daughters, but don’t give me a reputation as someone who doesn’t know how to treat a guest!”

    said by the most righteous man of his city.

    What were the odds that the god who insists, “Believe in me, worship me, and never, ever for a moment pay slightly more homage to any other deity, or I’ll cast you into a lake of fire for so long you’ll only remember this life because I’ll force you to so that being in a lake of fire can continue to have its horror,”

    is the same god who finds the narcissism of, “Don’t rape my guests, rape my daughters, because if you rape my guests I’ll get a bad rap!” to be the most moral stand he can imagine.

  307. a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    Crip Dyke,
    I’m so sorry about your experience at that party, and words cannot express my shame and regret for what the victim went through. There is simply no excuse for that kind of behavior…ever. The perp needs to have his balls twisted off slowly. And the hosts…damn, I think you need to find new friends.

    I am really getting tired of these jerkwads who claim men cannot help themselves. It is a damned lie uttered as justification by entitled little turds.

  308. morgan ?! epitheting a metaphor says

    Hello Lovely Horde,

    I really need to get around to writing the uber post explaining me and my weirdness. I’ll keep trying. In the meantime please know that you folks are lifesavers. You really are.

    And Tony, I wish I were a gay man ’cause if I were I’d drive all the way across the country just to meet you. There is someone out there for you. I suggest there are even several out there for you… the damn problem is finding them. Be well and happy my friend.

    And all the other friends here, my appreciation for who and what you are soars. Also be well and happy.

  309. Portia, in absentia says


    While well-intentioned, wishing violence upon those who commit violence isn’t typically helpful for survivors. I share your disgust and anger, 100% : (

  310. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    Though the outrage is still there, the party was a halloween thing 15 years ago in my 20s. I don’t need support around it, per se. It’s just where my brain goes when I hear about drinking parties and being the person not drinking.

    Funny, while in queer space I’ve been to lots of other parties involving a Seedy non-drinker in the midst of non-Seedy drinkers, and though 2 had horribly problematic shit, and one of them was compromised further by more than one person defending problematic shit, it was all over in a half hour or less with the jerk wads gone at the host’s insistence. None of this escalating for hours and then hanging around 2 hours after that. Also, the behaviors were more on the level of the (still horrible) barging into the bathroom than locking a door to isolate a victim and using physical power and violence to assault. If my friend-host had kicked him out after that, but some people were still saying, “he’s a good guy, he just likes a good time and he’s a little buzzed” for a half-hour, I wouldn’t have thought well of the party, but neither would I still be talking about 15 or 16 years later.

    Gods, what a mess.

  311. says

    Zachary Golob-Drake is the kind of kid any school would be proud to have representing it. And last week, the Tampa, Fla., fifth-grader won a first place blue ribbon in a class contest for his speech about how to make the world “a better place.” He was then set to deliver that speech to his entire fourth and fifth grade, and, if he did well, go on to represent his school at the regional 4-H Tropicana Public Speech contest. Instead, the boy says the school tried to strip him of his prize and block him from sharing his speech with the school.

    Titled “In the Name of Religion,” Golob-Drake’s brief speech notes that “The world’s major religions all have messages about coexisting,” but “Religious differences have always sparked conflict, even leading to warfare and mass murder.” As examples, he cites the Crusades, the campaigns of Genghis Khan and the attacks on the United States of 9/11. He ends by stating, “Religion provides moral guidance for most of the seven billion people on the earth” and invoking the Golden Rule of “Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you.” Seems reasonable enough. The boy says that after he won the prize, “I was excited and happy to represent my school.”

  312. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    The bullshit reason?

    Person of the Year is whoever is most influential on the lives of LGBTs worldwide.

    Therefore, advocate’s PoYs in the 80s must have included Reagan? You think his refusal to articulate the acronym AIDS failed to influence QT communities?

    Tell that to ACTUp! and Queer Nation.

    When someone murders a bunch of queers, do they win PoY? That certainly influences QT lives, when they and their friends are getting murdered.

    If you wouldn’t do that, why not? Does the PoY need to be an influential role model, and not just an influence? Does the influence need to be positive? What criteria would you select to avoid picking someone who sets off a series of bombs at pride parades?

    Now why in the name of irrational F do those criteria not preclude the choice of the Pope?

  313. ButchKitties says

    Bicarbonate How juries are selected might be different for different jurisdictions. Here we’re selected from a pool compiled out of state IDs and tax records. Once you’ve served, you’re exempt for the next 24 months. The selection is supposed to be a random drawing, so I guess I’m just lucky. Anecdotally it does seem that people either get picked all the time or not at all. Maybe this is just what some of us get for keeping the address on our driver’s licenses up to date.

    It is interesting to see the process from the inside. I wouldn’t mind serving on a jury again if they would just pick me for insurance fraud or something.

  314. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Crip Dyke,
    I don’t even know what to say. That’s horrible. I hope that woman found some better friends.

  315. rq says

    But Tonyyyyy, he even said that atheists could go to Heaven! Doesn’t that count???
    Also, I think morgan’s comment to you was really sweet. And I really, really wish I get the chance to meet you sometime, for realz, or at least hang out anonymously at your bar. That would be the amazingest ever. And I wish I knew the perfect Someone for you to meet, and while I’m convinced there’s someone out there for you, people as wonderful as you are rather rare in the world (though not in the Lounge!). And all I can offer you is a few measly *hugs* and a platter of home-made pepperbread (as slightly different from gingerbread) cookies, with walnuts from our backyard. I ♥ you.

    Crip Dyke
    Words are not enough to express your awesomeness to me. My heart goes out to you, and I wish I could help you somehow, or, you know, be a reasonably good friend to you, or something that would do justice to the amount of Good that you put in this world. I ♥ you, too.


    This is getting sentimental, so I’ll just finish this comment off with I ♥ the entire Lounge, and on some days (like this one) when I’m not particularly down but things just feel exhausting and poopy and I want to curl up and cry for no reason at all, y’all are real live-savers. Or at least, mentality-savers. (So yes, I’m seconding morgan once again!)

  316. ButchKitties says

    Crip Dyke,

    Jesus. Excuse me while I look under my desk, I think I left my jaw there. Not calling the cops is bad enough, but not even immediately throwing that person out? I’m still astonished he wasn’t immediately kicked out after he started breaking into the bathroom to watch people pee, let alone after he assaulted someone. Horrible.

  317. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    And [yelling] Portia‘s a big softie!!! [/yelling]
    Now that that secret’s out…

    because I, for one, would never have suspected….


    Thanks for the kind words, rq.

    I never thanked you for the potato joke, and I so wanted to give you back gratitude in full measure for the quality of the humor.

    Moving on to other “full measures”, when you praised my poetry with

    What proclamation, such declaration!

    I could not have imagined a more appropriate response. Thank you. I was vastly amused at the perfectly titrated praise.


    @rq: you are a good friend to me, because you choose to be. When I met Ms Crip Dyke online and had my little freakout about how much I loved her before we touched skin to skin, many a wise person reminded me that *online is real life*.

    While there are many gestures that we are socialized to take to love on, to care for, to support our friends that explicitly require a meeting of bodies, that we have different options available to us here doesn’t change the strength or meaning of our friendship.

    But if you insist on drawing your lesbo-dragons with sharp talons, I’m going to continue to insist on wincing. And on not including such imagery in a children’s book!

    If I get the chance to come east next year, I will.

  318. says

    Good evening, folks
    Last night of paid work for the year, woo-hoo.
    And I passed around cookies and forced people to listen to Misa Criolla by Ariel Ramírez.

    *pouncehug* on Alexandra
    *squeeeee* for Darktoddler
    I will definetly look into the blog, maybe I can contribute someday, too.

    OMG that’s horrible.

    And I’ve forgotten what else to write. It’s been a long day and vaccinations are evil because my arm hurts.
    Just kidding, vaccinations are awesome. I can relate to so much the woman rq linked to wrote. In my time kids in western Germany got very few vaccinations (in horrible socialist eastern Germany the government even forbid you to die of measles), I only got PDT (DTP? TPD?) and us girls got the rubella vaccination at around age 10. So I had measles and whomping cough as a child, and chicken pox on my 21st birthday. I wanted to die. I locked myself in the bathroom and refused to come out for several hours.
    Why would I want my kids to go through that?

  319. Portia, in absentia says


    Darnit, don’t you encourage those two and their secret-telling. Ahm *tuff*, I tell ya! ;)

    Pick me up on your way east? : )


    meant to give you big hugs for your long lovely musing on your life. I think you are wonderful.

  320. rq says

    wanted to give you back gratitude in full measure for the quality of the [potato joke] humor

    Hmm, something tells me I’m not getting much, here… ;)

    I promise to do better lesbo-dragons next time, but they started out as just… dragons. But they are now lesbo-dragons in my mind, and nothing can ever undo that.
    (I mean, c’mon, dragons have long claws! You think they retract them during sex, of any kind?? I think not! Well… I wouldn’t.)

    I would be ecstatic/thrilled/beside myself if you had the chance to do so, but knowing the expenses involved in such a trip, I will also understand if you can’t, and I will simply insist on planning another trip for myself another few years down the road for the West Coast. And the Lounge will have to do in the meantime (and yes, you’re right, it’s as much the real world as anything else – just a different kind of real, but no less meaningful or qualitative or special).

  321. says

    Eric Ethington doesn’t recognize the core issue.

    So on privacy grounds the fight to legalize polygamy and the overarching fight for LGBT equality are unquestionably linked. Just as in the Lawrence v. Texas decision, when intimate relations between LGBT persons were decriminalized, intimate relations between polygamous families has been decriminalized (in Utah, at least). Whether it be the intimacy between two men, two women, or plural families, a nation founded upon the principles of freedom cannot impede upon the private lives of its citizens.

    But the similarities between the two struggles do, perhaps, diverge legally at that point. In the case of marriage equality, LGBT families are fighting for equal access to the same protections and laws that benefit straight couples. In the case of plural families, the fight is not for equal access to existing laws, but rather the creation and formation of a new kind of marriage—requiring the creation of not only new marriage laws, but also estate, tax, death and all other related areas of code. (I say “new” in that plural marriage laws do not currently exist in the United States.)

    He misses the larger point that consenting adults should be able to engage in relationships of their choice, no matter their sexuality or the number of people involved. That’s why I don’t like referring to the fight for Marriage Equality as the fight for same sex marriage. Yes, I want homosexuals to be able to be married. But I want that for anyone who desires it (with the above qualifiers).

  322. rq says

    Tough on the outside, Portia, on the outside. ;)
    You’re still squishy on the inside.

    (Does that make you an arthropod of some kind?)

  323. Portia, in absentia says


    I’m with you on the equality front.

    When I try to think about how the law would handle plural marriage, my brain waves a white flag.
    Ex: (what if someone married all their co-conspirators?) (what significance does a spousal share have when each person gets very little? Does this matter? I dunno. Just one o’ the things I think about)
    What if two spouses disagreed about the medical care of a third?
    Not that these are reasons not to have polygamy, but they are the hard questions I think about.

  324. says

    Pardon me while I go puke:

    Scott Lively, known for his virulent homophobia, has officially announced he is running to be the next governor of Massachusetts, as an independent. The Christian evangelical pastor and founder of an organization certified by the Southern Poverty Law Center as an active anti-gay hate group, is facing judgment in a federal court in a unique “crimes against humanity” case for his “work” in Uganda, which many say led to the drafting on the infamous “Kill The Gays” bill

    Does this fuckwit even know that same sex marriages in Massachusetts have been legal since 2004? The state continues to exist, despite SSMs being a sign of the ‘end times’.

    This guy gets extra special condemnation for his support of the “Kill The Gays” bill and so much more.

  325. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    It reminds me of something I think I read in a Dragon magazine when I was probably 12, but now it’s on bumper stickers and things:

    Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy, and taste good with ketchup.

    But of course, now I have in my head:

    Portia, the arthropod,
    was a jolly, happy soul,
    with a chitin skin
    a softie within
    she had a heart of gold.

    Portia, the arthropod
    is a lawyer so they say,
    but late at night
    she’ll fire fight
    then hack up ash all day…

    Oh, there must have been some magic in that online horde she found
    for when she wrote among the posts, she caught her breath amidst the lounge!

    Typitty type-tap, Tippitty tap-type, watch those comments flow!

    Typitty type-tap, Tippitty tap-type, We love that Portia so!

  326. David Marjanović says

    *restocks hug truck*

    Giant oviraptorosaur tracks from Hell Creek. Remember Gigantoraptor from China?

    Revising the estimation of dinosaur growth rates

    Limbaugh called the pope a Marxist. Papal response.

    David Marjanovic (sorry, DM, can’t remember where your accent goes just now)


    Oh, and dõki – great ‘nym. :D

    Oh yes. :-)

    We’ve got Croats and Serbs and Slovenes and Bosnians and Montenegrins and Kosovars and Macedonians, and it’s not always easy to sort those one from the other. I’m getting better at it, though.

    Croats, Serbs and big-M Muslims who lived in the same place spoke exactly the same way. The only difference between them was religion, or cultural religion for atheists.

    Standard Croatian (very different from, say, the dialect of Zagreb), Standard Serbian (not the same thing as the dialect of Belgrade) and more recently Standard Bosnian are all derived from the same dialect of eastern Hercegovina, the one with the coolest epic hero songs, with truly tiny tweaks reminiscent of the differences between the written Standard German of Germany and Austria. In the late 90s, Standard Montenegrin was derived from (IIRC) a dialect spoken in Montenegro right next to eastern Hercegovina; it hasn’t caught on much so far…

    The locals say “bag” as though it had the same vowel as “bagel”


    Or do you just mean what so many estadounidenses do: turn “man” into what Professo Riggins would spell “mayern”?

    If I heard an Esto, I’d probably guess Finnish before I’d guess Estonian, because the odds are just that much stronger, and they’re phonologically pretty similar (well, and prosody and other stuff).

    And ee and oo as opposed to ie and uo.

    Ukrainians are easy (find a word with a “g”; if it’s “h”, congratulations, you’re Ukrainian!).

    Or Slovak or Czech or (…but you aren’t going to hear that one…) Upper Sorbian.

    بالکل شٹ “absolutely shit”

    अपने आप को भाड़ में जाओ “fuck you”, possibly “yourself”

    I can tell the different regions of German accents reasonably well in German, but less reliably so in English

    Depends on how strong the accent is, it can be very easy. It’s easy to place Schwarzenegger in the correct region of Austria.

    (Es gibt die Weststeiermark, und es gibt die Reststeiermark…)

    My French is so Parisian that my own sister, who studied in Aix-en-Provence for a year, almost finds it obnoxious. :-) By now I could fake being originally canadzién for maybe a minute…

    I feel sexy when

    I never feel sexy. :-) Having never been told that I am (in meatspace anyway), I have nothing but my own taste to go by, and I’m not into male-bodied people.

    DAMN YOU PHARYNGULA THAT WAS AN AWESOME COMMENT why you hafta eat iiiittt???

    For years, I’ve been pressing Ctrl+A, then Ctrl+C every time just before I click on “submit”.

    Pictures of Mars make me weepy not because they’re particularly beautiful, but because they’re pictures of the surface of another fucking planet, and that is one of the biggest sort of epiphanic thoughts that I have had. Because Science. And the hard work and curiosity and dreaming behind a silly photograph of a bare, rocky landscape. So much humanity.


    “You must mean Russians, ’cause whisky(sp?) doesn’t come from potatoes atall, atall!”

    Found on Polish part of Facebook maybe a year ago:
    “Vegetables are good for you
    Potato is a vegetable
    Wódka is made from potatoes”

    It’s so cute that gorilla and child are audley reminiscent.

    Subthread won.

    ^_^ *squee* ^_^

    There’s going to be a Christmas party at work.

    I don’t wanna.

    There will be a lot of drinking. They’re not my friends. I can’t relax.

    Suddenly fall ill. Preferably with something contagious.

  327. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    The above song should be sung to the tune of “Betsy, the bi-dyke”.

    Betsy, the bi-dyke,
    was a fairy tale they say
    well she dated men
    but she lived in sin
    with a femme named Chris McKay.

    Betsy the bi-dyke,
    never sat a fence
    if you have no clue
    why she won’t fuck you
    don’t jump to that pretense.

    There must have been some magic in that strap-on that they found
    For when she put it on her hips, we all swooned to the ground!

    Humpity hump-hump, humpity hump-hump, my thighs round my pillow
    Humpity hump-hump, humpity hump-hump, I’d love to dill her do!

  328. rq says

    Crip Dyke
    Your addendum about the melody of the Portia Song made my night.
    And yes, it was an awesome tribute to Portia. :)

    Good night!

    Before I go, there’s this *hug* laying around with David‘s name all over it. And


    indeed. All part-n-parcel of being amazed when you’re rq. Because it’s that kind of moment. :)

  329. says



    I’m with you on the equality front.

    When I try to think about how the law would handle plural marriage, my brain waves a white flag.

    I’m envisioning a great deal of borrowing from corporate charters and related law, especially as regards co-ops.

    Ex: (what if someone married all their co-conspirators?)

    I dunno. What’s done now in that situation? (possible under current law if there are only two conspirators) (what significance does a spousal share have when each person gets very little? Does this matter? I dunno. Just one o’ the things I think about)

    Define the elective share as being (1/#of spouses)% of the estate. Or abolish it completely, either way. If each person gets very little, then they get very little, same as when someone poor dies their spouse doesn’t get much. Alternately, specify in the marriage contract.

    What if two spouses disagreed about the medical care of a third?

    That’s definitely something that needs to be worked out in the original contract. What happens now if there are multiple next-of kin with equal claim? (e.g. an unmarried person with 2 siblings who disagree)?

  330. says

    Crip Dyke @425:


    Did you get to the end?

    The end is the best part, it totally nails the voter fraud thing.

    Or are you just trying not to insert spoilers?

    Yep. I have put spoilers in my posts before, and have been called on it.

    Gotta leave an element of surprise from now on.

  331. Portia, in absentia says


    Good points, lots to consider.

    As a sidenote, Polyamory was a suggested group on facebook for me at one point, and I couldn’t help but titter that it had 7,000 members. /juvenile

  332. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    Sadly, I did not get to the verse on Pictionary

    Perhaps I will transcribe that one some day.

  333. says

    A new political action committee for nonbelievers has endorsed six Democratic candidates for the 2014 elections.

    “It’s long past due for our elected officials to stand up and advocate for humanistic values, and we will strongly support candidates that do,” Freethought Equality Fund Coordinator Bishop McNeill said in a statement.

    Only two of the six candidates — Oregon state Rep. Carolyn Tomei (D) and Arizona state Rep. Juan Mendez (D) — are self-described secular humanists. The other four candidates are U.S. Reps. Jared Polis (D-CO), Rush Holt (D-NJ), and Bobby Scott (D-VA), as well as U.S. House candidate Dr. Lee Rogers (D-CA).

    How long before the Tea Party GOP fuckwits whinge?

  334. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Ah, did my evil deed for the day. One of the Redhead’s friends called, asking for me to look up some information on the computer (edible arrangements, wanting to see some arrangements in a local store, and have a delivery in Kenosha county; there is a store in Kenosha). I did, but then pointed out to the Redhead she could of have gotten the same information using the iPad, and as fast as I did. Tsk, such language…..

  335. David Marjanović says

    Before I go, there’s this *hug* laying around with David‘s name all over it.

    ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

  336. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says


    Where is my Mister Fusion?

    Hmmmmm….? Hang on a sec.

    [summons his robot butler]

    “Here now Jeeves, go check the flying car’s fusion plant. I need to know if it’s a Mr. Fusion or not, there’s a good fellow.”

    I’ll get back to you Oggie. /missive from the FUTURE!!…Future!….future….

  337. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    From the year 2000…2000…2000…?

  338. cicely says


    Does this fuckwit even know that same sex marriages in Massachusetts have been legal since 2004?

    That may be why he chose it.
    He may think that he can reverse that legality, from the governor’s position.

    Crip Dyke:

    People can talk about anything in here? Can we just vent?

    Yes, theoreticalgrrrl, there is a Santa Clausfree talk zone!
    And, Welcome In!

  339. theoreticalgrrrl says

    Hi Cicely, thanks!

    First thing, has anyone seen this list? I’ve seen it posted on Facebook by male relatives and friends and it makes me want to puke:
    “I’m exhausted.” – a relative writes after posting this:


    1. Feed him
    2. Sleep with him
    3. Leave him with peace
    4. Don’t check his phone (Msgs)
    5. Don’t bother him with his
    So whats so hard about that


    It’s really not too difficult but…. To make a
    woman happy, a man only needs
    to be:

    1. a friend
    2. a companion
    3. a lover
    4. a brother
    5. a father
    6. a master
    7. a chef
    8. an electrician
    9. a plumber
    10. a mechanic
    11. a carpenter
    12. a decorator
    13. a stylist
    14. a sexologist
    15. a gynecologist
    16. a psychologist
    17. a pest exterminator
    18. a psychiatrist
    19. a healer
    20. a good listener
    21. an organizer
    22. a good father
    23. very clean
    24. sympathetic
    25. athletic
    26. warm
    27. attentive
    28. gallant
    29. intelligent
    30. funny
    31. creative
    32. tender
    33. strong
    34. understanding
    35. tolerant
    36. prudent
    37. ambitious
    38. capable
    39. courageous
    40. determined
    41. true
    42. dependable
    43. passionate

    44. give her compliments
    45. Go shopping with her
    46. be honest
    47. be very rich
    48. not stress her out
    49. not look at other girls
    50. give her lots of attention
    51. give her lots of time,
    especially time for herself
    52. give her lots of space, never
    worrying about where she goes.

    53. never forget
    *arrangements she makes. —

    I’ve also heard this from an in-law quoting someone else – “Just fix us dinner and suck our d****, then shut up. That’s all you need to know to make a man happy.”

  340. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Vent to your heart’s relief, theoreticalgrrrl.

    And, btw, so nice to see someone who knows how to spell grrrl.

    The madison avenue “grrl” thing makes me wanna hrrl.

  341. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Wow, TG.

    That is some spectacular list of wrong there. And the relative? That’s the kind of jerk that makes you wanna do background checks on your dinner guests.

  342. theoreticalgrrrl says

    It bothered me for obvious reasons, but also the list of what women expect from men repeats itself to make it look SOOO long and hard (be a friend and be a companion would be the same thing… be honest and be

  343. theoreticalgrrrl says

    Oops, something got cut off there.

    The two relatives I’ve heard this from are not the type of guys I would ever think would say shit like this. They are nice in general and good dads and husbands. A little baffled by it.

    @Crip Dyke I grew up on Riot Grrrl, Kathleen Hanna is one of my heroes. ;)

  344. theoreticalgrrrl says

    I think someone just pulled that out of their *ss.

    I have never wanted a boyfriend to be my gynecologist, stylist, decorator, master (??), father, brother, chef, plummer, sexologist, or go shopping with me.

    The other ones are kind of no-brainers. Yeah cleanliness is important. Being a good father to his children, yes. Loving, warm, attentive, good friend, honest, true, not looking at other girls, dependable…those would all fall under one thing, being good companion. In other words, loving and respecting the person you’re with. That’s exhausting?

  345. theoreticalgrrrl says

    Gynecologist is still making me Lol. No, you don’t have to give me a Pap smear, honey. I’m good.

  346. says

    That reminds me of the Jayne line in Serenity (the episode, not the movie), to Simon (a trauma surgeon): “Little Kaylee just wishes you was a gynecologist.”

    All I can think, every time I see it, is…”No, Jane. No, she really, really, doesn’t.”

    I can never quite figure out whether that one’s a really good way of characterizing the complete cluelessness and misogyny of Jayne, or just Whedon’s own failboat picking up a stray breeze.

  347. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    Nope CD, just tomorrow. :)

    Which by the way, sucks. It’s currently +35c and climbing, which for good Canadian ex-pat is too damn hot. Not to mention that the Small Fry had to miss her much anticipated year end swimming sports day because she spent the night vomiting.

    The scene this morning:

    The Small Fry in a wane 6 year old voice: “I want to go to school.”

    “I know honey, but you’re sick.”

    “I’m feeling a bit better.”

    “That’s great! What do you want for breakfast?”

    [long pause]

    “I want to go to school.” [begins to cry]

    “I’m so sorry my darling, but if you can’t eat breakfast you can’t go swimming.”

    And so on….

    It breaks my heart when she’s like this. I know that there’s nothing for it and sometimes shit happens, but explaining that to her is impossible when she’s sad and ill.