Really dumb. Like mega super ultra stupid.
That’s the slogan on bumper stickers for his re-election campaign. The only things dumber than Stockman are the people who’d still vote for him.
He’s a Republican, obviously.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Legislation to insert guns in utero cannot be far behind.
Astonishing amount of fail in a single sentence.
Who knew the womb also made for a great gun cabinet?
If babies had guns it would obviously mean they hadn’t been aborted. Duh.
Nothing says “pro-life” like fantasizing about murdering people with guns.
Ok, right here and now, I am laying copyright claim to the phrase “I support the rights of the unborn… to bear arms” and the image of a fetus with an assault rifle.
The T-shirt designs itself. And sells itself.
Definite proof that Poe’s law is still relevant.
I think the congressman was joking. He has a history of this- see http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/03/steve-stockman-twitter-texas-congressman.html Still a terrible joke, though.
They’d shoot themselves instead?
I hope he’s joking, but it is the fact the he thinks that this joke is a rhetorical point, or even amusing, that is a problem. It casts a fetus as in need of self-defense, casts doctors and women seeking abortions as “bad guys” and it follows the whole “guns stop bad guys” idea.
I don’t think anyone thinks he’s serious. But the statement is indicative of his terrible stance with regards to abortion rights and guns.
I am not even a little bit surprised. Deep East Texas is a scary place. Anyone remember Vidor? Vidor is in this guy’s district.
I’m waiting for the day that politicians just stop speaking altogether and walk around with literal dogwhistles in their mouths. We’re not too far from it: Guns!Babies!Abortion! Who needs a logical coherent message?
@ glodson
-Agreed.
He is pro-gun and anti-abortion.
Being a despicable troll instead of just despicable hardly makes him any less of a piece of shit.
They pull a speculum, you pull a scalpel. That’s the Chicago way.
How does this work even in the magical land of Conservatopia? “I want to live, so if you try to abort me, I’ll kill you, thereby ensuring my own death.”
If only abortion was as easy to get as a gun.
I dunno, I kinda think that’s sorta awesome in a way. I assume they know it’s nonsensical, and they are just trying to be badass (in a very Republican, anti-woman, anti-human sort of way, that is). I’m assuming this means they have sense of humor about it… I hope?
The moment I saw the bumper sticker I thought ‘Colbert’s getting a little silly.’ wow.
@glodson, #10,
It’s a shame. Even if he’s joking, the bumper sticker as written falls just short of the “offensive so as to make you question the logic behind the opinion” point. I think if the joke was made by someone who had a better reputation for such things, it might have worked. It’s really the “pro life” line that makes me even suspect it’s a joke at all.
Oh, I think this is entirely what these people think of as pro-life. A fetus is innocent, but once you start doing shit, you are fair game. They are pro-life as long as we confine life to being what gestates in a woman’s body.
Well, women have Castle Doctrine, so those zygotes better be packin’!
Which is why I am unsurprised that American conservatives are also very often anti sex education, anti contraception, anti social safety net, and pro rape culture. Fetuses, not human life or dignity, are special.
Their fetus-fetish is especially weird, because, as you point out, once you’re born they don’t give a shit what happens to you.
The problem with politics these days is they’ve become Pavlovian in nature. Throw out the right few words, and Conservatives start drooling. This sticker gives them a two-fer, guns and abortion, so at this point there might even be some pre-conditioned ejaculations…
When I saw the sticker I flashed on the recent story of a 4 year old that accidentally killed someone with a gun. There are those who say guns don’t kill people, people kill people. The problem is that guns make it so easy a 4 year old can do it.
I just don’t get gun culture.
Well…in Texas, that’s not being dumb.
That’s being “electable”.
That is truly bizarre, even for a Texan Republican. I have some more suggestions for bumper stickers:
“If pregnant teenagers had guns you’d give them the abortion they need”
“If lesbians had guns they would be able to get married”
“If atheists had guns you’d believe in evolution too”
Mike
Everything is big in Texas. Include idiocy.
Which kinda sucked, parts of Texas are really nice.
On the upside, Texas is getting more and more progressive (population wise), that mean conservative hold is getting weaker and weaker.
Another upside, Austin is getting Google Fiber!
@Kevin
#25
Rural Texas, yes.
Urban Texas, not so much.
We used to go visit family in Louisiana back when I was a kid. We would drive by the exit for Vidor. I was warned never to take that exit. And that Harris kid who was the one who really did kill that cop in The Thin Blue Line case was from Vidor.
God has done a pretty good job of aiming his punishment hurricanes at Vidor. Double blow of Rita in 2005 and Ike in 2008 pretty much leveled it. It’s only just now being rebuilt.
…and if the mother had a gun, she wouldn’t be pregnant?
Life begins at conception. Therefore, a fetus has Second Amendment rights. The background check would be easy. The life of a Rethuglican politician is not too taxing on the intellect.
A fetus is innocent until being proven guilty of being a woman.
Totally counterproductive. Everyone knows that attempting to pass a weapon to a fetus would rupture the placenta.
This kind of shit seriously sounds like Mad Libs to me.
I can’t imagine that a tiny little fetus-sized gun doing all that much damage, to be honest.
how can a fetus possibly fair a background check ?
But it would be underage.
If fetuses had guns abortion would be redundant.
When does a fetus grow fingers?
@DLC,
Don’t worry. I’m sure background checks are a violation of the second amendment that has to be fully eliminated for the Freedom of True Patriots (i.e. white, wealthy, and Republican).
If 71% of the voting people in Stockman’s district are dumber than he is then there’s no hope for the universe and we may as well all go kill ourselves right now.
Fortunately they’re merely more ignorant than he is.
I remember that NRA arse-wipe saying that ‘the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun’, right after the Newtown school massacre, which just proves that these idiots don’t think things through. Unless I’m very much mistaken, the gunman took his own life, an act which, in the mind of the NRA arse-wipe, instantly turned him from the ‘bad guy’ with a gun to the ‘good guy’ with a gun; he turned the killer of children into the hero of the day!
A thought on the OP; how does Stockman imagine the foetuses would get hold of the guns? And as a lot of babies can be pretty grumpy little beasts, how many doctors and nurses will be shot just for running an ultrasound or checking to see how dilated the mother is? “Who the fuck are you lookin’ at?” BANG!
What we get when we don’t demand any better: Bachmann, Palin, this guy, …
Too bad for those who can’t use guns, I guess. Should have had a
chaperonegood guy with them at all times.Also, Stockman isn’t a native Texan. He’s a native Michigander.
Right, because there’s nothing that quite says ‘pro-life’ like a tool primarily designed for KILLING shit!
But… in this context and by that logic… the fetus would be the ‘good guy’ which would make the — uh, this is so stupid, but… the mother is the ‘bad guy’ in this scenario? As in, she aborts with a gun? I —
What is this? Where am I? What is going on?!
Enopoletus Harding
Maybe he came in a package deal with Ted Nugent.
More human sacrifices for Jesus!
I’m trying to think this through: If immature humans had the capability of killing with their finger, they would stop the termination of pregnancy by, a) killing abortion providers?, b) killing the pregnant woman?, c) holding the gun to the pregnant woman’s head threatening to shoot if she doesn’t deliver a baby?, d) wipe out all men so no more pregnancy would occur? or, e) wipe out humanity?
Republicans being Republicans though, let’s carry this through further. If the zygote was packing heat, and used it to fatally shoot the doctor who was attempting to carry out the abortion, the defense would have to prove that the zygote knew the intent of the doctor in order to avoid the much loved (by Republicans) capital punishment. It would be the ultimate circle-jerk of life.
Dutchgirl #48
Tonight, I’m for option e).
shouldbeworking:
Huh…never thought about that.
Now I wonder if any of the anti-choice crowd has thought this personhood idiocy through. Exactly *what* rights do fetuses have?
::looks at Bill of Rights; tries to imagine a fetus with any of those rights; comes up empty::
Que?
I live in the Austin area. I have heard “google fiber” on the radio. I do not know what it means for me either.
Why, naturally my womb is where I regularly stock all our firearms. And the trebuchet. There may be a few boxes of old books there as well, but no fetuses lately (unless they’re hiding behind the trebuchet).
/derail
Oh, I see!
I wonder a) what the download quotas will be on a Gbps connection, and b)if you have Google as your ISP, what data they will be storing.
/end derail
@Dutchgirl #48
Nonono! The argument is that, since it’s a well-known fact that having a gun in the home increases your chance of being killed with a firearm, arming foetuses would mean more fewer survive to the point when they would have been aborted.
Obvious, really.
Well, this is the same Steve Stockman who, in January, threatened President Obama with impeachment for, basically, doing his job as President. I wouldn’t put any amount of stupid past someone like that.
slowdjinn: yes, of course! Its all making sense now, hard to argue with logic like that.
Aw, c’mon, lay off poor old Vidor. I think Jasper stole their tarnished crown as the most racist town in SE Texas several years back. Vidor’s integrated now, and had an African-American Homecoming King last year. They’ve come a long way in the last 20-30 years.
And if babies had guns, I think the OB/GYN field would start to get really small.