How do you greet the day?

How many fucks does America give? I don’t know, but a lot of them come out of LA and New York. This is a ‘heat map’ produced by an analysis of tweets for how often somebody says “fuck you” on twitter. In it’s current state, it’s not very useful — this is raw data, not per capita data, so all you’re really seeing is flares of general activity in the US and Canadian population centers.

If it helps, they’ve also done an analysis of how often people say “good morning”, and the distribution is different. There’s more activity in the Midwest. It still may not be meaningful, though, because here in the center of passive-aggressive niceness we say “good morning” when we mean “fuck you.”


  1. Tony •King of the Hellmouth• says

    There is nothing “good” about mornings. They are evil. I do not know why our lord and savior-he of the noodly appendage that that shall not be named-chose to create mornings. I do not like them, Sam I am.
    (If I currently had a job, I wouldn’t be up this early. Gah, 8:45 am is far too early for my delicate self to awaken).

  2. ibbica says

    Er… hold on a tic. “General activity in the US and Canadian population centers”?

    But they say they only scanned for those tweets “in 462 specific locations within United States “!

    Now the Toronto coverage I’d be willing to chalk up to bleeding of the graphic across borders, but what’s with the blue over Montréal?

    Did someone forget to announce their takeover again?

  3. AndrewD says

    I assume the prevalence of “Fucke You” in New York is due to Comrade Physioproffe

  4. AussieMike says

    i greet the morning with the phrase “jeesus christ I could do with a wank”. Clears the mind and puts me in a good mood for the day ;-)

  5. carlie says

    How can they say that “many fucks were given”, given that I bet an awful lot of the comments were “I don’t give a fuck”? You’d have to subtract all of those from the total, if you want to know how many were actually given.

  6. Gnumann, quisling of the MRA nation says

    This really brings me back to the first couple of pages of The Hobbit…

  7. Big Boppa says

    I’m guessing then that all the tweets that go something like “good morning luv…I’d surely love to fuck you today.” would cancel each other out?

    Also, if I were to open a discussion about this post in the heavily moderated Lounge, would I risk being banned?

  8. Janine: Fucking Dyke Of Rage Mountain says

    I do not use twitter. How would I daily express the idea that I am raising my bare ass to the morning and telling the new day to kiss it?

  9. Onamission5 says

    @ cervantes #2:

    Along with, “Well bless your heart,” which loosely translated means, “Fuck you, you fucking fuck.”

  10. DLC says

    I don’t tweet. Now, if they bugged my car and played it on the internet while I was driving. . . (Good for me they don’t… um… do they? ) (if they do, where’s my royalty check, you bastards!)

    When I say “have a good one!” I usually mean it.
    Even though I’m an asocial loner, I manage to wish people well.

  11. David Marjanović says

    “Right. When you will be only a little older you will doubtless learn the advantage of minding your own business. If you will be so good as to turn your head slightly to the left, you will see the door. I wish you good-afternoon.”
    – a character by W. Somerset Maugham

    I do not use twitter. How would I daily express the idea that I am raising my bare ass to the morning and telling the new day to kiss it?

    ♥ ♥ ♥

  12. M Groesbeck says

    @ ibbica —

    If you included the various French equivalents, Montréal would be the deepest red on the map. The bit of blue represents the spillover into English.

  13. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says


    That’s nice

    That phrase brings to mind Marie and how she speaks to Debra (and everyone else) on Everybody Loves Raymond. She’s like the poster child of using nice phrases as insults and digs.

    I grew up in MI I learned plenty of ways to say fuck you with a smile and “nice” phrase. Passive aggressive indeed.

    In customer service, I learned to shoot daggers with the phrase, “Have a nice day”.

  14. carlie says

    Seriously, we’re talking about New York. We use “fuck” as punctuation.

    What the fuck do you mean by that?

  15. vicarofartonearth says

    I just got told by the the kid’s (he has four or five seizures a day) social worker for complaining the home health aid agency that has fail show up or abandon him four times in less than six months and cost me money as I have to pay someone or leave work to cover for them at no pay.

    I know now to just say “Good Morning” to the vendor’s administrative staff demonstrating a better attitude toward the good morningers.

    Thank you for adding to my education and rhetoric. Us unbelievers can now confuse English as much as religion.

  16. billseymour says

    Maybe they’re remembering the fellow I can’t remember: it was either Lenny Bruce or George Carlin. He noted that fucking is nice, and so the phrase really should be, “Un-fuck you!”

  17. says

    I tend to start the day with “uuurrgghhh brainns coffffeeeeee”

    I heard a joke about the difference between NY and CA: Californians say “Have a nice day” but mean “Fuck you!” whereas New Yorkers say “Fuck you!” and mean “Have a nice day”.

  18. says

    I can’t imagine continuing to follow anyone who says ‘good morning’ on Twitter. Meaningless greetings have no place in an asynchronous data flow.

  19. DrVanNostrand says

    When my sister lived in France and they complained about fake American politeness, she always said, “When I’m talking to random strangers, I’ll take fake politeness over genuine contempt.”

  20. chigau (違う) says

    I greet the day with,
    “Huh. Not dead yet.”
    followed by
    “I need to pee.”

  21. blf says

    My day usually starts when I find myself under a suddenly upturned bed with a mildly deranged penguin jumping up-and-down on the now-skyward-pointing underside yelling “Wakey wakey, there’s fresh cheeses to capture and eat!” And that’s on the quiet days…