I just posted about building a ship model, and what happens? Ken Ham posts about building a model ark. I begin to suspect that he’s copying me.
We’ve partnered with an Australian businessman to produce a beautiful model kit of Noah’s ark (based on the Ark Encounter’s design) made from authentic Australian hoop pine. Available in three different sizes from “small” (over two feet long and 506 pieces) to large (over four feet long and 760 pieces!), this scale model is extremely detailed and comes apart to show off the three decks. Once complete, it makes a great display for your home or for churches, or it can be used as a conversation starter for outreach.
It’s not that detailed because it fails to include the large concrete office building asymmetrically grafted onto one side. The article reveals the construction method of the model.
Ick. It’s assembled from thin sheets of laser-cut pressboard, one of the cheapiest, laziest way to make a model…and which will almost certainly be incapable of holding together in water. It wouldn’t be worth the $200 and/or $800 they are asking for the two model sizes. I guess the extra layer of fakery and religion must add value to this piece of crap. My model only had love added, and I didn’t charge anyone for it.
Don’t waste your money on this inauthentic, cheaply-made nonsense.
Last year I assembled a marble run from laser-cut wood. It was fun. I just looked up my kit, it’s priced at $60, and that’s with moving parts. $200 for a far less interesting design seems like a bit of a markup. Or maybe it’s expensive because they’re selling very few of them.
I’ve never noticed this before. What’s that big wall at the front(?)* of the boat for?
*could be the back, I can’t tell. Regardless, on the left side of the picture.
At least it’s not fake Australian hoop pine.
@2 larpar
Maybe YHWH didn’t know that the keel is supposed to go on the bottom.
I once saw video of a “full size” replica of the Ark, trying to sail. It was wobbling VERY abruptly and dangerously from side to side. I don’t remember who was manning it, or where it was sailing from/to, or how it was powered or maneuvered. Did anyone else here see that?
Raging Bee @5:
Wikipedia – Noah’s Ark replicas and derivatives
Finkel’s 1/3rd ark sailed steadily but was doomed by leaks. He couldn’t acquire the Iraqi bitumen he’d wanted and settled for inferior waterproofing.
Supposed to be gopher wood.
In the Bible the “Ark” is not described at a “boat’.
It was not meant to navigate anything, it was just a big box to contain the land-dwelling critters until the waters did subside.
Nobody (except God) was steering it. It did not need a prow or a stern.
“Floating and mobile?” I notice the article doesn’t say “seaworthy” or “maneuverable.”
Reginald Selkirk@3–
To me the funniest thing about this is that if the Ark story were true, the Australian hoop pine would not exist.
Exactly as @chigau said above, it was not a powered craft, so no need for a shaped prow. Not even a ‘front’ and a ‘back’.
The scriptural description is of a box. Not really anything about why, for instance, it might prefer to have one side upward compared to the other, though it’s a rectangular prism. Mass distribution would be pretty critical.
This comment isn’t stipulating that the story really happened, it’s about internal consistency: one thing we can know is that Ham and co’s design is just wrong.
#10. Wait, are you saying that Australian hoop pine is not biblically authentic? /s
There are a lot of wargaming model buildings that use that same method.
@bravus #11:
The apatosaurs were loaded first, as ballast.
Now that I’ve said that, I have a nagging thought that I heard quite recently that sauropodomorphs had a comparatively low overall density due to their massive digestive system and light (though strong) bones. Maybe the heavily-muscled tyrannosaurs should have been packed in tight on the lowest deck.
@Rich Woods
Right… I had to look up apatosaurus.
Google showed some pictures like these. Scroll a bit on the page to see what goes for dinosaurs these days.
I didn’t know apatosaurs (according to some generative AI tool) were the love child of a T-Rex and a brontosaurus or other kind of long-necked, long-tailed herbivore dino. And then the number of legs AI throws in… Absolutely hilarious.
Although it’s sad to think that there will be people who will think that those pictures are representations of actual dinosaurs.
@ ^
Wait I thought the reason there’s no dinosaurs is they fucked about and literally missed the boat. X-D
I kid but when I was a, um, kid there was a children’s song about how the unicorns were too busy playing and Noah left them behind and they all drowned. Even as a kid I thought that song was fucked up. X-D
I still call it “brontosaurus”!
It’s a fucking thunder lizard
.
OT -An early Xmas gift to PZ:
“First nonrepeating biological clock discovered in C. elegans guides growth”
.https://phys.org/news/2026-06-nonrepeating-biological-clock-elegans-growth.html
Do you but the animals separate? How much do they cost?
stuffin @ 19
They thought about adding all the animals but couldn’t get them to fit.
I’ve built a few laser kits (model railroading). The wood is probably what’s called “laser board”, and it’s a reasonable material for the application (more uniform in texture than thin plywood?) A quick check of sites that sell what are called “craftsman kits” suggests that these ark kits are a bit on the expensive side — yeah, they’re big, but no where near as detailed as some structure kits out there. It’s one of those items that are cheap to produce, but require a lot of up-front design work, and the laser itself is expensive. On the whole, I’m suspending judgment whether the pricing is reasonable or outrageous.
Reginald Selkirk @ 3
Yeah, but it is fake pine. : )
“It (Australian hoop pine) is not a true pine (Pinus genus) but belongs to the Araucariaceae family,”
The hoop pine is the only authentic element?