We Minnesotans have a constitutional amendment coming up in our November elections — certain anti-human, regressive elements in our state are peeved that anyone would dare to give equal legal protections to icky gay people, so they want to have us vote on this uncivil question:
“Shall the Minnesota Constitution be amended to provide that only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in Minnesota?”
The correct answer, of course, is NO, written in tall bold letters with a flaming sword. You’ll probably have to settle for punching a ballot, but do it with fury, anyway.
So I’m pleased to see that General Mills, a major employer and creator of mass-market foodstuffs, has come out against the measure. Their CEO gave a $10,000 donation to opponents of the bill, and they also put out a lovely ad (I have been corrected: Kraft made the ad. So there are two companies to praise!):
Now the patriarchs and theocrats of the odious Minnesota for Marriage organization have declared war on Oreo cookies, an action as doomed to failure as declaring war on cute kitten pictures on the internet (wait, hang on, I should try to think of a better comparison…) There is now a campaign to show support for General Mills, which is a good thing to do when corporate America does something good.
But don’t underestimate the cunning of the Minnesota for Marriage folks! They are fighting back. After declaring a cookie the incarnation of Satan, smart move number one, they have made smart move number two: sentencing gays to death! From their facebook page:
Brilliant! There is a tactical genius behind all this, I’m sure. And he or she is probably gay.
Just remember these damn Oreo people were among the first corporations to promote racial harmony just by creating their signature product.
Can’t trust ’em
…. Am I the only one that wants to start a petition to get 6 layer oreos made?
As a true-bibleliteralist, I completely agree Minnesota for Marriage folks!. However, since the homosexual sexual relationships are not completely identical to heterosexual sexual relationships, I have yet to find a homosexual couple I can justifiably kill. So I am reduced to stoning rape victim, people who work on Sunday (I throw in those than work on Saturday too, just to be sure) and unruly children.
Sasquatch Jesus
There is a post on their Facebook site claiming that the Leviticus post was the result of a hacked account. But, the verse is still visible on their website and still gaining “likes”. They also claim they cannot remove the offending post until “Facebook’s forensics team has identified the hacker”.
The comment trails on both the suspicious Leviticus post and the hacking claim posts are precious.
http://www.facebook.com/mnformarriage
Oh gee.
I guess I’m going to have to buy a package of oreo cookies.
And I don’t much even care for them.
“both of them have done what is destable”
The detestable part is the call to do violence to men who lie with men (and not feel guilty about it “the blood be upon them ).
I don’t eat cookies but the wife and son wouldn’t mind them.
Is it just me or does anyone else want to eat an Oreo like that?
Is it just me that thinks that’s a little bit wrong too?
Louis
I just had some oreos and frozen yogurt for dessert. Quite tasty. I feel the need to go purchase some more now (though I’m going to skip the rainbow oreos. Looks like too much creamy filling)
holytape — You can only stone them for working between sundown Friday and sundown Saturday. Otherwise it’s a violation of the 5th or 6th commandment (depending on which version of the divisions you follow: Philonic, Talmudic, or Augustinian), and we’ll have to stone you. Now who says the Biblibabble is inconsistent?
Someone tell me again who it is that wants to ‘redefine’ marriage? 'Cause that surely looks like an attempt at redefinition to me.
It should be noted that General Mills is not the company that makes Oreos. That would be Kraft.
It’s just that several snack foods — first Ben & Jerry’s, then Oreo, and now General Mills products — have all come out in support of equality. And we could thank them for that (and anger the bigots) with our dollars.
A cookie is one small, flat, baked food. Call these ‘cookie sandwiches’ if you like, but they’re not cookies, and I am sick and tired of people and companies like General Mills trying to change the traditional definition of cookie according to their confectionarist agenda.
I am all for more rainbow snacks of any sort. Though perhaps, instead of six-layer oreo, they could sell a pack of oreos containing six different filling colors. Six layers of sugar paste in one cookie is a big much.
One of the local supermarket chains use to sell rainbow shortbread, but they discontinued it after a while. :-(
I love the Leviticus quote. It’s how you know the Bible was written by men. It only talks about men having “relations” with other men. Clearly if two girls want to make out, that’s cool.
The wording of that translation always made me pause. “If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman…” is awfully specific, no? If you don’t have sex with women, does that mean you’re okay? If you have sex with women and men but anal or fellatio is restricted to men, is that okay? Is Leviticus promoting frot? Is this actually just one of the earliest examples of transphobia and is forbidding vaginal sex between a gay/bi trans man and his male identified partners?
I have to laugh, because otherwise it’ll make me cry.
I cannot find an image at work (dang web filters) but George Takei had an excellent take on the rainbow oreo:
The above cookie with a small image next to it showing anti gay marriage demonstrators.
Below it, a regular oreo with a small image next to it showing anti interracial marriage demonstrators.
The caption read (as best I can remember): “Back then, they didn’t like black touching white, either.”
They should have been offended by the real black and white Oreo, since it wasn’t that long ago, race mixed marriages were seen as evil too. You know, how black and white were touching each other.
I am sick and tired of people and companies like General Mills trying to change the traditional definition of cookie according to their confectionarist agenda.
Thank you for taking a stand for traditional cookie-making!!! If we don’t draw the line somewhere, what’s next? Bacon cookies? Gay marriage?
I may have to buy my first ever packet, now.
It’s a great ad. And I’d love it if they made a rainbow assorted pack (say, two or three of each flavour) too!
The word of god offends them?
14 “‘If the offering to the Lord is a burnt offering of birds, you are to offer a dove or a young pigeon. 15 The priest shall bring it to the altar, wring off the head and burn it on the altar; its blood shall be drained out on the side of the altar. 16 He is to remove the crop and the feathers[a] and throw them down east of the altar where the ashes are. 17 He shall tear it open by the wings, not dividing it completely, and then the priest shall burn it on the wood that is burning on the altar. It is a burnt offering, a food offering, an aroma pleasing to the Lord.
I trust the good folks at Minnesota for Marriage do this regularly.
“Shall the Minnesota Constitution be amended to provide that only religions which recognize the true God and understand what God really wants shall be valid or recognized as a religion in Minnesota?”
I wonder if that minor rephrase would give any of them a moment of hesitation. After all, isn’t the real battle over secular marriage vs. holy matrimony? When we use the power of the state to determine whose idea of what is and what is not holy shall prevail, this is NOT “smaller government.”
You’d think their heads would explode.
The “hacked” post is down now.
BTW the bit about having to keep it there for forensics is nonsensical. The system will have logs and postings generally aren’t deleted, they’re simply marked as invisible to the system. I’d say it’s nearly certain that they’re lying for jesus.
It is a great ad, but I can’t stand Oreos, or most other mass-produced cookies. I really do want to support companies that are in favor of marriage equality, but not at the expense of eating junk made by massive corporations that I otherwise pretty much despise. It’s a quandary.
I haven’t much cared for storebought cookies for a while now (my own homemade are better), but damn if I don’t want to pick some up.
Gregory, I think you may be looking for this:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=483848251644633&set=a.223098324386295.105971.205344452828349&type=1&theater
I also love his current Starbucks story.
Why did they take down a post that is right from the bible? Why does that offend them?
They are blaspheming against the Name by redefining marriage. Anyone who has read the Bible knows this. Marriage of one man and one woman is just one sort of Biblical marriage. This law would prohibit other forms like…
One man and several wives
One man and concubines
One rapist and his victim (with no divorce ever)
Two slaves, forced by their Master
One man and one prisoner of war
One man and his wife’s slaves
One man and his widow’s brother
Folks: It’s Cheerios and such you want to buy.
The Oreo was created in 1912. This is the one century mark for the Oreo!
The Roy G. Biv Oreo is a great picture.
@robro #9:
No-one is to stone anyone! Even if they do say Jehovah!
Link
Paul
Obviously we have very different tastes in our desserts ;p
Rork @ #29: Conveniently, Cheerios are my favourite cereal.
“Look to the cookie, Elaine.”
@anuran. I think you mean a man and his brother’s widow. A man and his widow’s brother would be a dead guy marrying his brother. Which would be gay, and that’s wrong.
@terrie:
Also the whole dead guy thing. I don’t think a corpse can consent. Unless it’s a zombie, then all it’ll be saying is “ggerrrragggggrrnnnn”
I have an excuse to support and EAT Oreos? YES!
and I think only the blue and purple cremes don’t exist. Time for General Mills to make blueberry and blackberry oreos!
@scrutationaryarchivist #26 – I can’t tell: my company’s web blocker does not allow access to Facebook.
hmmm, and yes, it is Kraft via Nabisco that makes Oreos. So for General Mills, eat Toaster Strudels, Faagen Dazs and BUGLES! make your fingertips pointy for human rights!
I assume each layer is a different fruit flavor.
That would look great on a t-shirt.
I shall have to go buy a General Mills product, though I won’t be Oreos (no matter how smart they think they are for defying the laws of nature and cramming 187% sugar into the filling). Maybe something in a nice dark chocolate.
I can haz kweer oreos?!
Mmmm… chocolatey evil with creme-sugar filling .*drool* /homersimpson
This picture makes me tingly in my tummy bits. :)
I want a Rainbow Oreo poster. That’s fab. Then they can work on making the actual cookie. :D
Like tbp1, I don’t eat mass-produced cookies any more. However, I’ll soon be hosting two grandsons, so I think I’ll stock up on Oreos for them.
Yay! An excuse to chuck in some mini-oreos!
My waistline will suffer from this. Damn fundie loons! You are making me fat!
Or perhaps I should say “fatter” and reduce the risk of being caught in a big fat lie.
Well, if a cracker is the incarnation of God…
But for some reason, eating God=good, eating Satan=bad. Yeah, I’m confused, too.
First Oreos mix black and white together, and now this!
Maybe they should make an Oreo as a tribute to these right-wing wackos. They can fill with nuts.
For all the people who don’t eat pre-made cookies or breakfast cereals, General Mills also makes Gold Medal flour (a perfectly good flour for making one’s own cookies with).
Wouldn’t it be very dangerous to fill a cookie with Wasps?
I’m quite excited to see the outraged bigots plan their boycott. One can only hope that more purveyors of tasty snacks and other foodstuffs will publicly support LGBTQ rights — eventually, the homophobes will have to survive on stale bread crusts and their own unrelenting misery.
If only JCPenney sold Oreos and Cheerios…
Did I read a comment somewhere about “Oreos ramming homosexuality down our throats”? I suppose it could have been a Poe.
I don’t really like Oreos, but I’ll buy some other stuff from Kraft and General Mills to show my approval of their support or gay marriage.
I’ve seen hacking allegations after statements like this on twitter and facebook before, when bigots realize they’ve gone too far and wish to cover their tracks. How would you go about challenging their allegations?
OT Question:
Is Kraft still owned by Phillip Morris?
That said, Here’s a list of Kraft Brands:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Kraft_brands
The latest from their web page
… and they’re being ripped a new one in the comments. I guess they’ll claim that was a “hack” also.
A little off-topic:
Wow…that has to be the coolest looking Oreo cookie going.
Maybe my sarcasm meter is off today, but I get twitchy when homophobic people are acused of being gay (this happens nearly everywhere all the time). That makes it look like it’s our problem, that we gay people are responsible for the discrimination and for our second class status.
If you’re joking, no worries.
You know I was about to go to the grocery and I was just telling myself I should buy some cookies. Now I know which.
(Also, that rainbow cookie looks sooooooooo tasty. But it also looks like it’d spawn an instant diabetes in me. So I’ll just stick with my usual double stuffing.)
Best. Cookie. Pic. EVAR.
I’ll keep an eye out for Kraft products next time I’m at the shops.
You shall keep my statutes. You shall not let your cattle breed with another kind: you shall not sow your field with mixed seed: neither shall a garment of mixed linen and wool come upon you.
Leviticus 19:19
Why were at it, you might as well add an amendment to outlaw wool/polyester mix clothing. Obviously we’ll all end up in Hell for that too.
Given the most bigoted states also tend to be the fattest, maybe Nabisco should worry?
“only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage…” and I assume they meant to add “per lifetime”, like Jesus commanded.
Now, if we could just add stoning as a punishment, I’d end up with a rotator cuff injury meting out justice to hypocritical rethug dirtbags.
“Hey Lush! Hey Newty! I have a little present for you!”
Yeah but don’t bother commenting there. “Negative” comments are being removed in less than 5 minutes on average. Someone is working very hard behind the scenes to keep the site squeaky clean and Jesus positive.
Yeah, I left a few comments — they are gone. Also, it appears you can no longer comment if you haven’t liked the page. And fuck that noise.
Hmm, pretty much what Caerie said @15. Weird phrasing – a man *can’t* have sex with a man as with a woman because there is no vagina in the equation. I realise that the writers of a lot of this babble stuff had no friction clue about reality – wasn’t there something about rabbits being seafood, or was it squid being a beast of the field? – but really you hope they at least had a good grasp of genitalia.
Makes me want an Oreo OMG RIGHT NOW! Well played, Oreo. Well played.
Also, way to cherry pick Leviticus, Minn for marriage. According to that particular book of the Bible God REALLY hated rabbits. Like, a lot. Mentioned it far more times than laying with the menz. I don’t see them writing any Constitutional ammendments against rabbits.
Hmm … I made a page “MinnesotansForMarriage”. Can we get the word out to Minnesotans who are really “for” marriage? For the right of people in love to be able to legally marry? Isn’t that what being “for” marriage should really mean?
And I too had my civil comments removed within minutes and subsequently could not post. What losers.
To be on his side, you had to swallow the right kind of crap.
I’d love to get excited about Kraft’s awesome support of gay marriage, but it’s rainbow-washing. (If that’s a word)
All the rainbow cookies in the world don’t cancel out helping get people like Bill Shuster and Steve Womack elected. (Guys that hate not only LGBT people, but all women and minorities.)
I’d rather them be silent about their support and stop actively enabling people that want LGBT people dead. It seems like it would be more useful in the long run.
JJ831 @ 58:
Doesn’t appear to be:
Ah, but no … I think the positive stuff like this outshines the negative stuff. I don’t think it cancels it out.
The thing is, the more people are accepting of LGBQT folks in the media, the better. It’s similar to the “Ellen Effect.”
Although I do agree that there seems to be a weird disconnect with these companies sometimes. And with the guys they support.
jthompson:
Except they are actively fighting against the amendment that would ban same-sex marriage in the Minnesota Constitution.
From Biodork:
I also saw a story that claimed the Ken Powell personally gave $15 million to the campaign against the ballot initiative, but it was on Whirled Nut Daily and I can’t find any corroboration.
Nice find Audley Z Darkheart!
That gives me a lot of hope, actually. It’s REALLY telling when a very large company is so blatantly pro gay-marriage.
Yep. The tides are changing.
@ marilove: I think you’re probably right: The more open support for GLBT people, the more it will become just another thing. I don’t think it cancels it out by any means, but at least they’re trying.
It’s bloody hard to keep up with which company owns who and how much control the owning company has. Most likely Kraft just doesn’t care about GLBT issues at all and cares only that Womack and Shuster think they shouldn’t have to pay any taxes.
It wouldn’t surprise me to see a company give money to campaign against an anti-same-sex-marriage amendment and then turn around and give money to a campaign for an anti-same-sex-marriage politician, if the politician were also “pro-business” (meaning anti-regulation). They make the contributions for different reasons, either not seeing or not caring that the public might see that as contradictory. It could be that the decisions are made by two parts of the company that didn’t even talk to each other.
There seem to still be people in the business community who are in denial about both the Republican party’s radical shift on social conservative issues and the Democrat party’s willingness to compromise with, or sell out to, big business. They support Republican candidates for business reasons and then act like they had no idea they were supporting politicians advocating anti-gay policies.
truthspeaker @79:
Yeah, Target Corp. got in trouble over such an issue here in MInnesota during the 2010 election. They gave to support the Rethuglican candidate for Governor (one Tom Emmer) because he was “pro-business”. The GLBT community went properly ballistic, pointing out that Emmer was also one of the bigger homophobes in the MN Legislature.
Target tried to say “Buh-buh-buh BIZNEZZ!”, but fairly quickly pulled back–Target had been long cultivating a GLBT-friendly image, and wasn’t willing to give it up.
Now this year, Target is selling Pride-themed gear on its website–the anti-gay-marriage types are complaining, but seem to have less clout than angry gays. Let us hope this is a trend…..
(Oh, yeah–Emmer lost to DFLer Mark Dayton, who is MOST specific in fighting against the marriage amendment.)
I think they do, actually. I mean, yes, there is a lot of truth to the fact that they are “pandering” to the gay base, but at the same time, they don’t *really* need to do that, do they?
Not yet, anyway, right? These companies are ahead of their time, I think. JC Penney is a good example (and if you look at their history of catalogs, they’ve *always* showcased a diverse group of people). They are still struggling, yet they are more than willing to speak out for LGBQT rights, and fuck the haters.
This is a really fucking great progression. Even if you think it’s 100% pandering (I personally think they aren’t; it’s far more nuanced than that), it still means they now think it will only help them if they very publicly and loudly promote equality.
Most large companies DON’T rock the boat. While they may quietly give money, most companies stay away from this kind of out-right politics. When they do start speaking out, it’s a realllly good sign.
@Teh kiloGraeme #31 — Ah, jeez, that’s too bad, cause I was about to go stone myself, which I haven’t done all day.
tim @69:
Well, they also wrote about grasping. Deuteronomy 25:11-12:
I think I’ll take my sugar overload in some other form, but I like the sentiment of a rainbow Oreo.
Urrr…. what does that even mean? “taketh him by the secrets”? So if she misuses the family Enigma machine? Blurts out the Private Key?
It just doesn’t make any more sense as you find out more, does it.
Ahem…*spritzes atomizer*
C is for cookie, that’s gay enough for me!
C is for cookie, that’s LGBQT!
C is for cookie, that makes the bigots flee, ohhh
Cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C~!
And it appears that we have… yes, ladies and gentlemen, Azuma Hazuki has won the thread!
I shall buy Oreos and a suitable Kraft foods item before the week is out.
Glad I indulged in a guilty pleasure tonight, Kraft dinner made with salsa instead of all the fatty stuff. For those of us who don’t like oreos (we do exist) there is a fantastic and easy recipe for truffles made from ground oreos. http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Easy-OREO-Truffles/ I promise you they are beyond delicious.
61, kellyw.: I can read it two ways:
1) the way that you did, i.e. poster is homophobic and closeted gay. Unfortunately, this has a long and storied history behind it as per http://www.salon.com/2012/06/23/lgbts_worst_foe_the_closet_monster/ as a start and off the top of my head, a few of the “more popular” homophobic organizations are run by “ex-gays.”
2) gay hacker showing the actual religious reasoning for the existence of Minnesotans For Marriage.
71, Hammer of dog: Minnesotans United for All Families is the major group against the MN marriage amendment from what I’ve seen.
http://mnunited.org/
http://www.facebook.com/MN4allfamilies
73, jthompson: I’ve seen “pink-washing” used as the term for the usage of positive gay messages to distract from other events. But the only instances of that word usage appear to be in relation to Israel’s recent advertising efforts toward the gay community. In other articles, such behavior is just called pandering.
76, Audley Z Darkheart: There’s a note of a 10,000$ donation by Powell to Minnesotans United for All Families as per http://minnesota.publicradio.org/collections/special/columns/polinaut/archive/2012/06/marriage_amendm_1.shtml
Someone also made an oreo composite based on the bear flag as seen at http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2012/06/oreo-bear-pride.html
I prefer the original rainbow one~
Some kind of biblical injuction against the Squirrel Grip.
Must have been a real problem back then… more Menz problems?
The best part about this is, they end up admitting that the Bible is (in their words) “garbage, hateful, and divisive.”
I’m actually most upset with the Oreo people for being anti-science. Why the hell does everyone always forget the ‘I’ in ROY G. BIV??? They may be for blacks with whites and LGBT causes, but they obviously have a bone to pick with those Indigos
Maybe they’re saving it as bruising color for the ass-kicking the MfM (SMFs) will be taking for their public bigotry and obvious lying for Jebus on the FB thingy.
For your amusement, edification and education
@93: Thanks, but I’m aware of that. I was just being a pretend pedant, because someone has to, in the name of Teh Reel Scienze Gawdz!!!1!!11111ONE!!1©®™
I know there are homophobes who are gay who are in influential positions and, yes, it is a problem. Too often, straight people and some gay people are quick to say that any homophobia is the product of a closeted gay. I call bullshit. I’d really like to believe that the state I live in is extremely populated with gay people, but the truth is that the vast majority of the homophobes are privileged straight people who want to maintain their privilege.
kellyw @61:
I read that as an instance of “organizations are secretly controlled by agents of their enemies.” The blatant anti-gay statements by that Minnesota group make their side look so bad that it makes sense to suggest that they are intended to look that bad, and are actually being written/published by a mole trying to undercut the campaign.
Poor poor Indigo. He is so under-represented.
ROYGBV? Thats not even a word!
And yet Oreos are still bad for you in large quantities. Large quantities which are the only quantities in which anyone wants to eat Oreos.
Yes, when was the last time anyone uttered the phrase “My, that’s a lovely shade of indigo.” ?
I once grumped at the DMV for insisting that I list “blue” as my eye color. My eyes are actually indigo, which is to say that my irises reflect light between 420 and 450 nm.
arguably, ROYGBIV isn’t either, but it has a Wikipedia entry
I can picture the romantic date in the optics lab – My love, look deep into my interferometer. Your eyes have the most beautiful peak structure in the reflected spectrum above 400 nm.
interferometerspectrometerARGH!
I’ve learned that the rgb value for indigo is (75,0,130). My life is now complete.
I sure hope so.
Don’t care about the politics, just want that cookie.
Just going to point out that if you reeeaaally want to buy gay cereal, go for fruity
CheeriosQueerios over the regular kind.Rainbows!