A squid less poll

The catmeister has sent his minions to wreck a poll, and wreck it wrongly. Look at this malformed question:

Do You Prefer:

Adorable Pictures of Babies? 4%
Adorable Pictures of Puppies? 27%
Adorable Pictures of Kittens? 47%
All of the Above 13%
None of the Above 6%

I ask you…WHERE ARE THE SQUID? Given the absence of a correct answer, clearly the only acceptable reply is “none of the above”. Teach them a lesson, please. For great justice!


  1. says

    The polling seems to be aimed at humans alone, too. I’m sure that lampreys would differ at least somewhat in their responses, especially since none of those appalling beings listed would live long enough in the water to provide even a good snack.

    At least they’d provision cephalopods rather better.

    Glen Davidson

  2. Trebuchet says

    Kittens for me, I’m afraid. I’ve never been able to see anything at all attractive about human babies. I might feel different if I’d ever had any but since our only babies are of the type that’s currently trying to walk on my keyboard, kitties it is.

  3. A. R says

    How phylumist of them! PZ, you will need to post an overpoweringly cute cephalopod tomorrow to counter this heresy! And then a damning Anti-Caturday post after that!

  4. gardengnome says

    Babies? Ugh!

    Pinkish squirming things with noise and puke out of one end and noise and …I don’t even want to think about it..from the other. I shudder at the thought of being on the same planet, let alone in the same room. Come to think of it I’d rather handle a live squid than hold one of my nieces. Luckily for the survival of the human race others think differently…

    I opted for ‘none of the above’, if only to keep it ahead of babies.

  5. Peter Cranny says

    I’m afraid I *accidentally* voted for kittens, I’m so so sorry and won’t let it happen again…

  6. robro says

    Gawd, they’re all warm-blooded mammals. Humans are so biased. The correct answer is “None of the above”, right?

  7. Stacy says

    I voted for infant felids.

    Sorry, PZ. Teh cyoot* overrode your tentacled overlordliness this time.

    * Or possibly the Toxoplasma gondii. Brain parasites or cuteness, I’m sure it was one of those two.

  8. andyo says

    Justicar is one of the original MRA assholes from the elevatorgate thread. He got his ass handed by every regular here and apparently is still butt hurt about it. I’ve seen him hang out at Coyne’s not-a-blog where somehow it’s safer for assholes cause Jerry doesn’t allow the conversations to get too heated.

  9. vaiyt says

    “For great justice!”

    Take off every squid!

    (Yay, finally managed to log in. I was trying to use my regular WordPress account all the time, and wondering why it didn’t work.)

  10. Hairy Chris, blah blah blah etc says

    Squid are really interesting animals (heck, I even don’t eat them*) but… mmm, kitties.

    *Or any seafood, but don’t tell the squid that they’re not special.

  11. 'Tis Himself says

    Teach them a lesson, please.

    To hear* is to obey, oh squidly master. I have struck another blow for “none of the above”.

    *Or read, as the case may be.

  12. Moggie says

    I love the guy, but he’s only giving away a paperback copy of WEIT, the cheap bastard. And he’s ruined it by writing in it! I’ve already got the hardback and the Kindle edition, so why would I want a soiled paperback?

  13. Moggie says

    I’ve already got the hardback and the Kindle edition

    Er, no I don’t. Hardback, yes, but I was thinking of the Kindle edition of Your Inner Fish.

  14. azportsider says

    This post arrived upside down, but I think I’ve got the gist of it now, and will vote accordingly, O Son of Cthulhu.

  15. alektorophile says

    I also noticed an unexplicable lack of ducklings on this poll. Seriously, as far as cuteness goes, a day-old duckling or gosling beats any kitten, puppy, baby, or combination thereof. And, like squid, they eventually have fine culinary uses.

  16. alektorophile says

    @2 & 5

    I used to think like you, but since I became a father I partially changed my mind. My son is the cutest creature ever. Everybody else’s baby, of course, isn’t, and I’d still rather keep my distance from them. However, one has to keep in mind that babies eventually turn into kids, and most of the latter are great.

  17. mnb0 says

    Sure I voted None of the above – especially because I don’t like adorable pictures of squids either! I don’t like adorable pictures at all.

  18. bassmanpete says

    I used to think like you, but since I became a father I partially changed my mind. My son is the cutest creature ever.

    My daughter was as ugly, if not uglier, than any human baby I’ve had the misfortune to encounter. Fortunately she did become very pretty. I voted kittens.

    Off topic, we have ten cats and four of them love ear wax. If anyone just puts a finger anywhere near an ear they’re up on that person’s lap looking for a fix. Anyone else have cats with such disgusting taste?

  19. s agould says

    If it’s any consolation, I voted cat, but, had cuttlefish been allowed in the poll it would have been a hard decision.

  20. says

    Thread hijack alert! Well, kind of. It’s about baby birds so let’s pretend it’s relevant.

    I need an avian-biology expert. Do any of you know if or for how long a female canary can store sperm? I had a hen and a cock raising a clutch and decided I didn’t want any more babies this year. When then hen was showing all the signs of getting ready to nest again I removed the male, but left a nest in with her for the fledglings from the last batch to sleep in.

    I know they had been breeding before I moved him, and I took the resulting first egg away and replaced it with a dummy plastic egg. She subsequently laid four more eggs without the male present. I assumed they would all be infertile, but today I see that two have hatched, and after candling the remaining two it looks as if they are also viable and close to hatching.

    I know some fish can store sperm and delay giving birth – guppies come to mind – but was not aware that birds could. Is this common in small birds?

  21. says

    OMFG, I howled at this comment:

    I’m on the side of the fence that prefers photographs of items and/or medical anomalies that have been extracted from the human body.

    Preferably photographed immediately after removal, where there’s still a little bit of goo glistening.
    Posted by: Skitz at April 10, 2012 3:01 PM

    Also, kittehz, fuck yeah. Sorry, PZ!

  22. says

    I will vote straight squid in the next poll if I can have a chance to win an autographed 8 X 10 picture of PZ properly holding a live cat and appearing to like it. Of course, such a picture would excite the interwebs so much that the world would lose a day of productivity.

  23. magistramarla says

    Sorry PZ,
    As a mother, Grandmother, cat lover and dog lover, it was a no-brainer for me to vote “all of the above”.
    Besides, that picture of the smiling baby and smiling puppy lying side-by-side melted my heart.

  24. RFW says

    First, to answer straightforwardly P-zed’s heartfelt rhetorical question, “WHERE ARE THE SQUID?”

    They’ve all been caught, cooked, canned, and labeled as cat food.

    So there.

    The distinction between cephalopods and household felids is that the cephs come across as sinister acolytes of Cthulhu who will soon be eating your brain as one step toward total overlordship. Kittens, otoh, come across as fluffy adorable little critters, even though in their adult form they have been amazingly successful in attaining overlordship. The cephs seem not to have learned that kindergarten lesson about catching more flies with honey than with vinegar. Or, to phrase it more plainly, the lesson about reducing humankind to servitude more effectively via warm, adorable fluffiness than by wet, slithery tentacularity.

    Warning to P-zed-in-Oz: do not pet the blue ringed octopodes, no matter how cute they look.

  25. bjarndoolaeghe says

    No cannot.

    The cyoot of the kittycats made my brain short-circuit as usual.

    I may speak only 4 languages, but one of them is Meow.

  26. bjarndoolaeghe says

    @RFW: But I know the kittycats are psychotic, selfish, dangerous little predators who like to picture themselves as uncle Tiger and auntie Lion. I know the worst nightmare for a Little Stewart, a Jerry or a Twwety is to have an encounter with one of our beloved purring little buddies, as they would happily perform genocide on all of them.

    And yet… “Meow?” “Oooh kittycat”

  27. alektorophile says

    @ Boskerbonzer

    Not sure about canaries, my very limited expertise concerns poultry, waterfowl, and game birds only, but to take the case of chickens, it is quite normal for a hen to produce fertilized eggs even two to three weeks after last meeting a rooster. Came in handy last year when Mr.Fox did a rare daytime visit and went berserk, taking out most of my gaggle, my rasp, my rafter, and my flock, including all my roosters. I was still able to incubate the eggs laid by the surviving chickens during the following two weeks.

  28. says

    @41: But of course — cats are nothing if not freethinkers who damn well do as they like (as opposed to dogs, who are social-hierarchical animals who do as the alpha male directs). A natural companion for atheist skeptics.

  29. Ogvorbis: Insert Appropriate Appelation Here says

    If they had a ‘baby slow loris’ or ‘baby titanosaur option I would have voted for either one. Instead, I followed the hivemind leader and put in a write-in vote for squid.

  30. Jem says

    I voted honestly (puppies) because internet polls are very serious business.
    But I don’t really care about results as long as babies keep losing.

  31. Sili says

    I see we have traitors in our midst. Damn freethinkers thinking freely.

    And you expert ruse has lured them out, o podly one!

    To the ban-machine!

  32. Jamie says

    I voted “none of the above,” my love of cephalopods is one of the reasons I’m here on Pharyngula. Cuttlefish are the cutest! I do also like babies, kitties, and puppies though.

    The link on #8 andyo is a huge time suck. That is one cute baby human. I say this 5 hours later, after watching all the videos on that channel.

  33. chakolate says

    Sorry, PZ. I saw the kitties and just… well, squid are cute too, but…

    I’m sorry! I just cracked!