Strapped for cash? Don’t know how you’re going to afford a few gifts for the family? Don’t worry about it, just steal them! It’s OK because a priest says it is, and they’ve got the backing of God. Just remember: don’t rob the little stores, always hit the big ones, since they’ve got capital to spare. And they’ve also got the really good stuff.
I’m a little behind the times. I did all my Christmas shopping online, where it’s really hard to shoplift. Would it be OK if I stole some credit card numbers, Father? How about if I give the church its 10% cut?