Temporary full-time job opening in cell and microbiology at UMM

Full-Time, One-Year Faculty Position in Biology

University of Minnesota, Morris

The University of Minnesota, Morris seeks an individual committed to excellence in undergraduate education, to fill a full-time, one-year position in biology beginning August 17, 2009. Responsibilities include: teaching undergraduate biology courses including an introductory level cell biology course for majors (with lab), an upper-level microbiology course for majors (with lab), and contributing to other courses that support the biology curriculum. Excellent fringe benefits and a collegial atmosphere accompany the position. The standard teaching load is twenty credit hours per year.
Candidates must be at least A.B.D. in cell biology, microbiology, or a closely related field by August 17, 2009. Experience and evidence of excellence in teaching undergraduate biology is required. (Graduate TA experience is acceptable). Preference will be given to applicants having the Ph.D. in hand. 

The University of Minnesota, Morris (UMM) is one of the top public liberal arts colleges in the nation. As one of five campuses of the University of Minnesota, UMM has a unique mission and offers the best of both in the world of higher education–a small, close-knit campus complemented by the power of a world-renowned research University system. UMM is located 160 miles WNW of Minneapolis in a small (5000) rural community.  Our student body is diverse (16% students of color) and academically well-prepared, with 63% earning an ACT comprehensive score of 25 or higher and over 50% drawn from the top 25% of their high school classes.  Our faculty have received 33 of the University system’s highest teaching award and are very active in research and publication.  To learn more about the University of Minnesota, Morris visit our website at http://www.morris.umn.edu.

Applications must include a letter of application, resume, transcripts, a teaching statement with evidence of teaching effectiveness, and three letters of reference. Send applications to:

Biology Search Committee Chair
Division of Science and Mathematics
University of Minnesota, Morris
Morris, MN 56267-2128

Applications will be accepted until the position is filled. Screening begins April 17, 2009. Inquiries can be made to Ann Kolden, Executive Office and Administrative Specialist, at (320) 589-6301 or koldenal@morris.umn.edu.
The University of Minnesota is an equal opportunity educator and employer.  We are committed to the policy that all persons shall have equal access to its programs, facilities, and employment without regard to race, color, creed, religion, national origin, sex, age, marital status, disability, public assistance status, veteran status, or sexual orientation.  To request disability accommodations, please contact Sarah Mattson at 320-589-6021.


  1. MAJeff, OM says

    Does the candidate have to perform unspeakable acts upon crackers?

    Probably not, but they will likely need to prepare for receiving lots of ridiculous emails from Kwokers.

  2. Bride of Shrek OM says

    “Preference will be given to applicants having the Ph.D. in hand.”

    …well there you go MAJeff, the jobs yours!

  3. Shane says

    At least they need not worry about a creationist filling the position. Statistically I’m more likely to win the lotto 9 times over than find a creationist with a legitimate degree in cell bio.

    Than again…Behe…

  4. Holbach says

    The candidate has to be the liason officer without portfolio for the Deranged Institute. A truly phantom position that is not specified in the hidden agenda. Next.

  5. Kitty'sBitch says

    I have a PHD in life experience.
    It cost me $299 online.
    “evidence of teaching effectiveness”? Boy, could I tell you stories.
    I taught my wife to do this thing with her little finger when…well, yknow…if she slips it up in… ah, I’ll save it for the interview.
    In fact, I’ll bring video.

  6. ZK says

    PZ, I take it this is due to your forthcoming sabbatical?

    I really hope you have a great sabbatical, I’m sure that you thoroughly deserve it.


  7. NewEnglandBob says

    …and a collegial atmosphere accompany the position

    What other type of atmosphere could there possibly be at a university? Honky-tonk cabaret? Hungarian shtetl?

  8. rnb says

    “What other type of atmosphere could there possibly be at a university? Honky-tonk cabaret? Hungarian shtetl?”

    In Minnesota? Very cold. No carbon dioxide, since it freezes out.:)

  9. MAJeff, OM says

    In Minnesota? Very cold. No carbon dioxide, since it freezes out.:)

    Don’t forget the widespread allergies to flavor.

  10. NewEnglandBob says


    In Minnesota? Very cold. No carbon dioxide, since it freezes out.:)

    Don’t be silly, carbon dioxide doesn’t freeze in Minn., it just separates out into constituent quarks and slowed electrons.

  11. erin says

    I am a U of MN employee in HR who also happens to read your blog. I do not mean to hijack your blog for policy and procedural reasons for the U of MN, but…the position will be posted on the U of MN website at some point in the near future, and candidates really ought to apply online for compliance/reporting purposes. The direct link for the posting (which will not work right now) will be:


    And though I am a Twin Cities alum and employee, I can vouch for the loveliness of the Morris campus.

  12. Platypus says

    >…a creationist with a legitimate degree in cell bio.
    >Than again…Behe…

    Behe is a biochemist, not a cell biologist. Biochemists are very good at getting big picture items like evolution completely wrong (e.g. it was the biochemists who insisted that the nuclear protein, not DNA, was the carrier of genetic information, because the DNA was just too simple to get the job done.)

  13. Qwerty says

    I won’t be applying as the last biology course I took was in high school over 40 years ago.

    I am sure that as a card-carrying hedonist (aka atheist), PZ will take all applicants to the nearest bar in Morris for a round or two of beers.

  14. Fatmop says

    As a holder of a bachelor’s degree in economics, I feel I would be perfect for this job. My cursory knowledge of microbiology and evolutionary theory when combined with ridiculous arguments from consequences would make me very apt to teach your fine young minds at Liberty Universi—

    Damn it, this isn’t for Liberty. This isn’t for Liberty at all.

  15. says

    My college seems to like to use one-year (or one-semester) temporary full-time appointments to scope out future prospects for tenure-track positions (which may open up from retirements or enrollment growth). Of all of the people who have received full-time temp jobs in my department, a large majority of them were later recruited for permanent jobs. I fear, however, given the current economic situation, that we’re going to start hiring temps year after year without maintaining the numbers of our tenured staff. It would be cheaper for the college and make it easier to downsize at will.

  16. Screechy Monkey says

    What if someone doesn’t have a Ph.D., but he went to the same high school as someone who does? Suppose it’s a really good high school.

    I’m not asking for myself, just for … uh, this guy I know on Facebook.

  17. minimalist says

    Well dang. Not getting TA experience was one of the great regrets of my time in grad school. (TA work wasn’t required and I spent all my non-lab time helping run the campus radio station :D )

    I would like teaching experience, though. Hmm. So. With no TA experience, how far can someone get on the following strengths:

    1. Some groundbreaking and creative research (still unpublished but finished, and knocking people dead at meetings coast to coast) in cell bio/biochemistry, and

    2. great letters of recommendation regarding my communication skills.

    Would it even get past HR to your desk without TA experience?

    I will be in the Twin Cities later this month. Can I give an impromptu research talk? :D

  18. Kevin says

    “Excellent fringe benefits and a collegial atmosphere accompany the position”

    unfortunately, in terms of cash payments, they are small and few. But, like children, they may grow. Previous grant writing experience is a plus.

  19. says

    It’s fine/normal in the US to say things like “Our student body is diverse (16% students of color)…” in a job ad?

    Just seems a tad…1960s.

    (NZer here…)

  20. Screechy Monkey says

    Simon, I’d say it is pretty normal. Very few people want to be the only (or one of the only) minorities on a campus or in a workplace, so colleges and employers often brag about their “diversity.”

    UMM in particular probably wants to point it out because there are still some stereotypes about Minnesota being lily-white.

  21. DLC says

    I don’t have a PhD in cellular biology, but I do a really fun lecture! And besides, someone I know went to Harvard!
    (ha! take that, Kwok!)

  22. JRQ says

    Actually, if I’m not mistaken, 16% students of color is really quite diverse for a college in rural MN…I wouldn’t be surprised if that beats Concordia and Moorhead State (which I imagine are the closest other universities to you? NDSU can maybe beat that with athletics recruiting though.)

  23. Rex says

    All those qualifications are infringing upon my free speech and academic freedumb! You’re expelling me! Call a waaambulance!

  24. says

    Get past HR? It goes direct to our division secretary, who files them in a cabinet just down the hall from me. Give it a shot, we’ll see it. Teaching ability is our #1 requirement, though.

  25. Patricia, OM says

    Wait a minute. If the job calls for a high IQ number rather than a bosom measurement, then I cry foul.

    And further, if speaking fluent Chicken doesn’t count as a second language, then I cry fowl again.

    I deserve the job.

    Think of the children !

  26. Bride of Shrek OM says

    Yeah, Patricia and I can job share. We could teach those young, naive, nubile,luscious students a bit about biology!

    O Jeebus, I just came across as a leery, creepy, facing-middle-age woman didn’t I ? Oh well, it was bound to happen sometime.

  27. says

    “If the job calls for a high IQ number rather than a bosom measurement, then I cry foul.”

    Patricia – what if the candidate was male – would it be foul then?


  28. minimalist says

    It goes direct to our division secretary, who files them in a cabinet just down the hall from me.

    Heh, okay. The post from the HR staffer above had me thinking you had people to screen the tons of apps you’ll probably be receiving. These things tend to be ridiculously competitive and I fully expect to lose out to someone with research and communication skills just as awesome as my own BUT with teaching experience. :D

  29. Sven DiMilo says

    O Jeebus, I just came across as a leery, creepy, facing-middle-age woman didn’t I ?

    *ears perk up*

  30. says

    Hmm, leave the long cold winters of Illinois for longer, colder winters in Minnesota? it looks like I will pass on this one, unless you also want to move it to the Caribbean for a year. In that case, I am your highly qualified gal.