Look up. The next thing I’m going to post is a job ad…you need a job, right?
I’m going on sabbatical next year, leaving a small hole in our staff that we need to plug up with someone as clever and resourceful and pedagogically exciting as me. Don’t be intimidated, though! We’ll take someone who knows cell biology and microbiology well, would like to join our team at a university that values education highly, and doesn’t mind a little spatio-temporal isolation in our remote corner of the universe. It’s a good career step for new graduates to take, too — a year spent here looks very, very nice on the teaching section of your résumé.
By the way, you won’t actually be replacing me (I like to imagine I am irreplaceable). My colleagues have juggled their schedules to cover the essential courses I teach, and we’re also trying to fill the job of a retiring faculty member…so you’d actually be taking the place of two faculty members and helping fill the gaps left by my colleague’s shifting of schedules. Think how important you’ll be to us! (Don’t worry, though, it’s still just a 1.0 FTE position. We’ll try not to overwork you.)