Inaugural Freak Show – The Daily Beast

I hope most of you are well past your lunch or breakfast now, because this story might ruin it. Never forget that our country is still ruled by a superstitious lot of kooks, a mob of witch doctors wearing suits and ties. This video, which is way too long and boring, shows a Georgia Republican and a pair of clerical loons chanting and nodding and praising each other while they daub a door with magic oil. Seriously.

It’s the door Obama will walk through on his way to giving the oath of office. Apparently, a god will be especially pleased with him if a set of true believers grease the lintel first. Awfully petty of an omnipotent being, don’t you think?


  1. anointitynointnoit386sx says

    Man, talk about “prevailing winds”. They ain’t kidding! Anoity nointity noit noity noint noit!

  2. RM says

    What are they holding their hands up for? Is god going to drop something on them while their eyes are closed?

  3. Holbach says

    Their brains are well lubricted with insanity. I could not finish even ten seconds, especially when he puked that his god tells him so much. It will only get worse.

  4. Jadehawk says

    I believe this qualifies as “quaint tribal customs”… just sucks they’re part of OUR tribe! :-p

  5. Morsky says

    Yes, precisely what America needs – one more president who thinks he’s getting policy advice from God. X_X That’ll put the country back on track.

    Also, did anyone see that story on Warren exhorting his mindless megachurch drones to be as devoted to God as Hitler’s goons were to Hitler or Lenin’s vanguard of the proletariat was to the cause of world revolution? Compared to that stuff, three stooges anointing a door is just harmless lunacy. O.O

  6. Dutchdoc says

    Were those two guys trying to out-pray eachother?

    And what is the significance of the ointment having ‘actually’ been imported from Jerusalem? Is oil from Jerusalem holier than a local brand?

    Couldn’t they have AT LEAST added some pragmatism to the ritual and put the oil on the hinges of that door?

    Oh well, at least they didn’t bloodely sacrify any life stock or virgins (yet).

  7. Rey Fox says

    Voodoo economics is back!

    With any luck, it will be greasy enough for the janitor to notice and give it a good scrubbing.

  8. Scott from Oregon says

    Lordy lordy lordy…

    More evidence (you do like evidence, do you not?) that “government” is essentially an irrational enterprise.

    The founding fathers realized this…

    …but they were apparently ahead of the curve.

    Here we are with a government that is essentially too broke to pay back money it has already borrowed, and the new guy is riding into town on a train.

    Now that would be fine if it weren’t for the millions spent on protecting him while he does this…

    A very ungodly 67 out of 300 people voted for the guy (and perhaps 20 of those were voting against the other guy) and we’re witnessing more pompous circumstance in Washington while all we really need is a way to organize ourselves so that we have schools, fire protection, sound money and a reasonable set of laws…

    The whole Washington experience is just a vast collection of woo.

    The mind still boggles…

  9. DominEditrix says

    10: Not my [born into] tribe! New England Episcopalians would shudder at this unseemly exhibition of “faith”. By the accent, those are Southerners, probably Baptists. NEEs have no truck with Baptists, whom they regard as inappropriately demonstrative.

  10. Patricia, OM says

    Perhaps this will help the lucky folks in other countries see just what kind of crap we’re dealing with here.

  11. Richard Harris says

    Anointing ‘holy’ stones with oil was a custom of the ancient Hebrews, even when they were still in the animistic stage of religion. They apparently thought that a spirit resided in the rock. Traces of such beliefs can be discerned from some of the Old Testament verses.

    That people, (who don’t have the excuses of stupidity, ignorance, or insanity), follow such practices nowadays is testament to the power of sub-conscious, social cohesion memes.

  12. Fellow Traveller says

    “Mr. Speaker,” Broun announced from the House floor in 2007, “if we take our dishes and try to wash ‘em in our clothes washers we’re going to have problems, and that’s what we’re doing in our society, Mr. Speaker. We’re trying to do things against God’s inerrant word

    God is a dishwasher unit?

  13. Desert Son says

    Fellow Traveller at #20:

    God is a dishwasher unit?

    “I am Hotpoint, the Lord thy God; thou shalt have no other appliance before me. Remember the after-dinner hour, and keep it holy.”

    No kings,


  14. Moggie says

    But presumably daubing the door with chicken blood would be ridiculous.

    The article says that the “reverend” “launched into a prayer originally delivered by Billy Graham at Richard Nixon’s inauguration in 1969”. I take that to be a tacit approval of Nixon’s presidency, which says a lot about the “reverend’s” integrity.

  15. Fellow Traveller says

    I just thought that using that prayer seemed unwise as it didn’t exactly work on Nixon. Unless, as you suggest, they think it did.

  16. says

    One might recall that John Ashcroft had himself anointed before taking on his responsibilities as attorney general. (Word is that it was Crisco brand cooking oil, which I suppose is especially blessed of God and gays.) We all remember how successful Ashcroft’s term as AG was, so I suppose all glory is due to God.

    A bunch of Christers got into the California legislative chambers after hours a few years ago (with the assistance of a fellow-traveling legislator) and made a point of “anointing” the desk of Sheila Kuehl, the first open lesbian elected to the legsilature and a regular sponsor of gay rights measures (including same-sex marriage). Complaints were lodged against this presumptive act (“Why the hell is my desk greasy!?”) and, as I recall, there were vague assurances that legislators would not abet such activities in the future.

    By the way, Ms. Kuehl did not turn straight, did not disavow her legislative program, and did not get defeated at the polls. They must not have used Crisco.

  17. Tim H says

    And the guard didn’t stop them.

    That door is government property. If southern wingnuts can smear it with oil, than (according to court rulings) that particular doorway is an open forum, and everyone can take a shot at it. Traditional Jews can smear it with goat blood, if they still do that. FSMers (excuse me, Pastafarians) can smear it with marinara sauce. Or alfredo sauce. (I’m not sure which. Sorry.) And we really need to recruit a Shinto preist to slap an ofuda on it (Akuryo taisan!)
    Or the congressman and his two pals should be convicted on tresspass and vandalism charges, and be sentenced to annointing all the windows of the Capitol Buiding with Windex.

  18. says

    Was going to mock. Remembered the ceremony for British heads of state. Thought better of it. (wrt #16 Old-Englander episcopalians are apparently less easily embarrassed than there New-Englander brethren.)

  19. Timothy says

    How do these people manage to function enough in life to get dressed in the morning let alone become a member of congress? Is there somehow an advantage to wasting your time playing make believe?

  20. says

    everyone: I am not going to use a proxy to comment on Pharyngula or on any other forum from which I am banished.


  21. Epikt says

    A gem from the comments on the Blumenthal article (file under “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded”):

    A lot of us are praying for Obama even tho we didn’t vote for him. Oh never mind. I think I’m talking to myself.

  22. says

    Republicans have learned a thing or two,
    They show us this inauguration day:
    They figure if they grease the entryway
    It makes the nation easier to screw.

  23. Fellow Traveller says

    By the way, Ms. Kuehl did not turn straight, did not disavow her legislative program, and did not get defeated at the polls. They must not have used Crisco.

    — Well, sometimes the magic works. Sometimes, it doesn’t.

    Chief Dan George, Little Big Man (1970)

  24. moo says

    … they daub a door with magic oil

    Let’s hope they at least have enough sense to get the hinges.

  25. Nerd of Redhead says

    Janine, yep, a big superloony bird splat. Now where did Patricia leave the trebuchet and big shovel?

  26. Nerd of Redhead says

    I don’t know why the banned want to drop their shit where it is not wanted. But then, the mentally deranged are always hard to figure out.

  27. John Phillips, FCD says

    everyone, I think you have forgotten to take your meds again, your mental health practitioner won’t be happy with you.

  28. Molly, NYC says

    Let em pray, anoint, whatever the hell they want. As long as these jackasses aren’t making policy anymore.

    PS. Dear Everyone, you are a horse’s ass. One thing about science is that it’s a barometer of people’s respect for truth, for reality, for facts. And at the end of the day, those are the values that win over bullshit–which is to say, your values.

  29. Richard Harris says

    ‘everyone’ @ # 24 & 26

    You presumably believe the revealed ‘truth’ of some ancient texts that have been through many translations & copying, originally written by primitives who believed in magical processes.

    They had an excuse for their beliefs, because there was no education, even on basic science, available to them. You know, they thought that the Earth is flat.

    You should try to understand that you are the victim of social contagion, & that we have escaped this.

  30. says

    “…anointed with oil on troubled waters?

    Oh Heavenly Grid,
    help us bear up thy Standard,
    our Chevron flashing brightly
    across the Gulf of Compromise,
    standing Humble
    on the Rich Field
    of Mobile American Thinking;
    Here in this Shell,
    we call Life.”

    The Firesign Theatre, from How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You’re Not Anywhere at All.

  31. PlaydoPlato says

    I don’t know. I think they’d get more bang for their buck if they’d built an alter and sacrificed a virgin, or at least a lamb, instead…. goes great with barbecue sauce.

    Lambs, not virgins.

  32. says

    Did they use extra virgin olive oil for the anointing?

    I find this whole thing excruciating to watch. Also, the line about serving Jesus….ugh. I didn’t elect Obama to follow Jesus, nor do I want him listening to “the Lord,” or the self-designated mouthpieces.

    All that prayer and fasting is making them lightheaded and even more gullible.

    Also for people who read the scriptures and claim to hew to them, they don’t pay much attention to Matthew 6:5 which basically says: “And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.” One might add, for they love to pray on YouTube, so that all might remark on their piety.

    This is pretty much a display of religious grandstanding and more-holy-than-thouism.

  33. Jadehawk says

    10: Not my [born into] tribe! New England Episcopalians would shudder at this unseemly exhibition of “faith”. By the accent, those are Southerners, probably Baptists. NEEs have no truck with Baptists, whom they regard as inappropriately demonstrative.

    well, for the purposes of the inauguration, the whole USA counts as a tribe. so it’s technically not my own, either. to wring the last drop of blood out of my silly tribal analogy-cum-bad-joke, I sometimes feel like one of those anthropologists: i live there, and observe with morbid fascination the rituals of the natives :-p

  34. 'Tis Himself says

    Originally they were going to sacrifice a virgin as well, but the Congressman had other plans for him.

  35. Janine, Leftist Bozo says

    Jadehawk, I think they were self appointed. They do not stand for all of the tribe. Hence some of the tribe members mocking their actions.

    But I think we are all snarking now.

  36. Jadehawk says

    Jadehawk, I think they were self appointed. They do not stand for all of the tribe. Hence some of the tribe members mocking their actions.

    But I think we are all snarking now.

    your logic is ruining my funny :-(

  37. Nerd of Redhead says

    Janine, another big splat of illogic. At least the trebuchet is in position to get rid of that shit.

  38. Jadehawk says

    But I do not underestand a journalist (I mean neodarwinist Myers)

    *snort* PZ is a journalist now… good to know :-p

  39. Richard Hubbard says

    @Pixelfish (54)
    This is pretty much a display of religious grandstanding and more-holy-than-thouism.
    I liked the headline “” used…

    “GOP Congressmen held an unauthorized ceremony to annoint the door Obama will pass through on inauguration day with holy oil. Unclear if this is to bless him or in a hope he bursts into flames”

    I’m guessing the latter…

  40. procyon says

    I wouldn’t even want to be in the same room as those demented freaks. How do they even operate in the real world? It’s got to be a con.

  41. Janine, Leftist Bozo says

    Thank you loony bird. I am now just a little more demented having read that.

  42. says

    We are engaged in the most important intellectual war in the history of science and there is no doubt in my mind as to who the winners already are and always were. They are those few who realized that chance never had anything to do with a planned, guided, and now finished organic evolution.

    Fuckin’ JAD never gives up, does he?

    The video for this post is incredibly boring. Glad I’m not religious anymore.

  43. Patricia, OM says

    Janine, Have *faith*, I’ve been sharpening the ten tined manure fork all morning. I’ll be busy re-roping the trebuchet this afternoon, we’re gonna have some heavy action before this party is over.

  44. Scott B says

    I presume that part of their intention is to get their god to “persuade” Mr Obama to guide things in their preferred direction.

    If they were to put drugs into his food to achieve the same goal, I think the Secret Service might have something to say about it.

    Sounds like nobody involved really thinks this has any effect whatsoever.

  45. Richard Harris says

    ‘everyone’ @ # 61, “You know nothing from the history of science.”

    Well, one thing that I do know is that science has a self-correcting mechanism that’s enabled it to improve our understanding so that some of us could free ourselves from ignorance & superstition.

    So what if Newton believed some crazy stuff? It doesn’t change the fact that he also discovered some useful laws & formulated some useful theories.

    You didn’t make any sense.

  46. Wowbagger says

    As I’m reading this rubbish from ‘everyone’, Rage Against the Machine’s Wake Up is pouring from my speakers.

    You should listen to RATM, ‘everyone’.

  47. Jason A. says

    I like how he has to call himself ‘everyone’.

    ‘See guys, you’re the crazy ones, everyone except your lone little band of darwinists agrees with me! I represent everyone else! You know it’s true because that’s my pseudonym!’

    Projection can be a funny thing…

  48. Nerd of Redhead says

    He’s deranged and off his meds, so his stopping is unlikely. PZ will delete him when he gets back to monitoring the blog.

  49. NewEnglandBob says

    So many words spoken, so little said.

    How many minutes can these yahoos go on spewing inane nothingness?

  50. Janine, Leftist Bozo says

    Zaardvark, anyone who who has seen the loony bird in action can tell you, he does not shut up. If left unchecked, he can fill up pages with his inane patter. Google the name “John A Davidson” behold how much meaningless words one person can pump into the internet.

  51. Patricia, OM says

    Gawd speaks directly to Moses and tells him how many shekels worth of spices to buy to make holy anointing oil. Then gawd pipes up further and tells Moses how to make it, Exodus 30:22 – 25.

    Gawd tells Moses that if the oil is used any other place than at the tabernacle it’s gonna get ugly. So these guys are actually cursing Obama, and they are too biblically stoopid to realize it. Oh, and one more thing, it’s against gawds law for these yo yo’s to use the stuff.

  52. Candy says

    Posted by: eintob | January 17, 2009 4:17 PM

    Gawd must be deaf. Seems like his preachers always get real loud when they talk to him.

    I had an ex who’d spent some time in a fundy foster home. He was always struck by the fact that once someone had gotten Gawd he or she always thought they’d gotten a great singing voice as well. Sunday morning meant having his ears tortured with the sounds of tone deaf fundies all singing VERY LOUDLY!

  53. says

    Broun’s born-again moment arrived in 1986, during the height of the Reagan Revolution, while he toiled as a doctor in rural Georgia, struggling to keep afloat during the first year of his marriage.

    Oh crap, the freakshow is led by a doctor. I’m ashamed of my profession, it attracts some true nuts. I encourage everyone to probe their physician about their beliefs to make sure that they don’t treat your broken bone with holy crisco.

  54. strangest brew says

    They have the bare faced pompousness to criticise J. K. Rowling and Phillip Pullman for infecting the society with fictional magick yet they quite happily and at the drop of a mitre spout inane spells and enchantments with a straight face and expect everyone else to join in on the chorus…babbling ignorant plebs the lot of ’em…

    As for *24

    “War, God help me, I love it so!”

    bring it on bubba…if ya think ya ‘ard enough!

  55. Steve Ulven says

    So what’s the score with holding your hands out to the side and up in the air? I see this a lot. Are they trying to replicate a satellite dish? Maybe I could patent a device like a dish they could put around their waist so they don’t have to do that. I noticed the Congressman alternated hands (must’ve got tired). His reception from the lord could’ve at best been half-ass during much of that. I think my dish could help his reception greatly.

  56. Thoracantha says

    I’m confused. The Paul Broun who is praying for Obama is the same Broun who said this about Obama.

    “We can’t be lulled into complacency. You have to remember that Adolf Hitler was elected in a democratic Germany. I’m not comparing him to Adolf Hitler. What I’m saying is there is the potential of going down that road.”

    So is Paul Broun praying for Hitler? Does Paul Broun hate America? Or is he just praying for the success of those who hate America?

  57. xebecs says

    You know, there are times when I look at the world and think that everyone is crazy.

    Then there are the times when I read Pharyngula and think, not everyone is crazy, but everyone sure is.

  58. Nerd of Redhead says

    they don’t treat your broken bone with holy crisco.

    When I broke my forearm as a kid, they used a plaster cast to immobilize the arm. Seemed to do the job real well. I must have been one of the lucky ones. I don’t think oil would have helped much.

  59. Morsky says

    #91: I think it may have something to do with the blind worship of authority inherent to fundamentalism. When Obama was just some guy running for office, he was fair game, but now that he’s a Divinely appointed ruler of the Most Christian Nation he’s Authority, and a good Christian is supposed to bend his knee to all the anointed “Kings” God, in his wisdom, puts up. Per me regent reges, and all that.

    Robert Altermeyer’s book on Authoritarians has some interesting stuff on this phenomenon – for example, people with high RWA scores are willing to persecute even themselves if told to do it by an authority.

  60. Patricia, OM says

    The sign they are making when holding their hands up that way is called ‘supplication’. It means humble begging.

    Of course it’s a pagan gesture, but since when did that ever slow the fools down…smirk.

  61. jimmiraybob says


    Christianity is first and foremost an appropriator of what is good and works toward it’s survival. If Obama does good they will claim his outcomes for their own by referring back to the anointing and to God’s will. If Obama fails then it is because Satan overpowered the anointing because Obama’s evil mojo was just too strong. Oh yeah, and He works in mysterious ways.

  62. Nerd of Redhead says

    Of course it’s a pagan gesture, but since when did that ever slow the fools down…smirk.

    Steal it from the pagans, pee on it, then make it your own. Works for religion.
    Also works for all the ethnic food the Americans steal too.

  63. aratina says

    I think this senator (a medical doctor no less) was actually blessing the door to protect it from Obama or maybe to purify Obama as he walks through it. Senator Broun certainly does not respect the President. This is the same creep who fears that Obama is going to create a national security force similar to the Nazi brownshirts while governing under Marxist principles. In other words, he is completely delusional and abuses his power just like everyone, who elected him.

  64. jimmiraybob says

    Steal it from the pagans, pee on it, then make it your own.

    Shorter and hilarious. I bow in your general direction.

  65. Janine, Leftist Bozo says

    Nerd, do try to be fair. While we americans appropriated the foods of the native americans, many of the ethnics foods were brought in by immigrants and absorbed into this hodge-podge. I am grateful for what the immigrants brought in.

  66. says

    There’s this odour of iffy about those gents. Methinks if I found myself in a situation in which shaking any of their hands was enforced by custom, I’d feel a compulsive need for a shower, soon afterward… Whether or not they’d recently been messin’ around with ‘holy oils’. Just sayin’.

  67. Hank says

    The hands up and out thing! All I could think of was Stewart French getting an incoming message from the Big Giant Head on “3rd Rock From the Sun.”

  68. Jadehawk says


    technically the correct spelling, in Polish. no idea why he used it though, it’s not typically done in English (kinda like Charlemagne is Karl/Charles the Great, but no one actually says it that way)

    You have to remember that Adolf Hitler was elected in a democratic Germany.

    where do they get this stuff from? That’s not even remotely correct, why do they keep on saying it?!

  69. Nerd of Redhead says


    I am grateful for what the immigrants brought in.

    We all are. Pizza anyone? Chop Suey? Chile? Pasties? ____ Fried Steak. Cajun ____. Tasty. (As well as all the ones I left out.) I eat them all.

  70. says

    Actually since there is no evidence for mythical super beings and since Einstein’s Relativity prevents information from being transmitted faster than the speed of “c” (light) omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent gods simply can’t exist in our universe except in the minds of petty men shown in your video.

    The video a pathetic and highly disturbing demonstration of the wacko cult members who lead the USA. Very freaky. How many of them really want to push the button? It’s amazing that Bush/Cheney didn’t. (Yeah, they’ve still got 2 days and 17 hours and 34 minutes from right now to do it).

    Absolutely shocking behavior from people supposedly elected into a Government Cult that is supposed to State from Crutch of Church.

    Maybe the next time the constitution is updated may it illegal for the elected members to invoke gods name during any government event or while they are on the clock!

  71. ennui says

    I am grateful for our diversity of cuisine, too, with two exceptions:

    1) this type of oil-and-vinegar soaked Fundie Word Salad
    2) the Marmite so loved by my South African mother

  72. says

    Congressman Paul Broun of Georgia is a complete loony toon nut job. Not only that but he actually says that some “god” created the United States of America; I thought it was the People of The United States Who Created the USA, wasn’t it? What did mythological beings have to do with it?

    Praying to some god will make the USA as a Nation successful? I thought it was people communicating and working hard towards their individual and collective interests that makes a group of them who self identify as a Nation successful?

    Ok, what “word of god” does this guy want to impose upon the USA? A congressman actually suggesting a Theocracy for the USA? Wow. Out evil communist, oh, out evil theologian, out of office bible thumper.

    They want us to heed the instructions the “lord” gives us? They want Obama to heed the instructions that the “lord” gives us? Which instructions are those? The ones that Bush/Cheney heeded such as mass murder in three wars (terror and the other two)? The bible says go do “genocide”, you really want Obama to go and do Genocide? What the heck is wrong with Paul Broun? Too much love as a child?

    God instructs the hearts of those trying to lead the country? What the heck? That’s messed up. Ok, a show of hands, who wants invisible magic friends voices instructing elected representatives to be leading the country? Yikes. This guy hasn’t taken his meds.

    “The kings heart is in the hands of the lord”? Ah, nope, Obama is a “president” not a “king”, or haven’t these guys actually read the constitution of their country?

    What? It’s important to “PRAY” for that place and for the people involved? Why? What will muttering incoherent words that they call “PRAYER” do? Not a thing except show that Paul Broun and these other nut jobs are, well, nut jobs galore.

    Ick, “god” stirs hearts? Yick, my heart needs no stiring by mythological super beings. In fact my heart needs no stiring at all since it’s beating along just fine without any such nonsense.

    What’s really going on here is to insert “religious nut jobs” close to the President so that they can CONTROL him/her with their mumbo jumbo. Religion and belief in mythical gods (all gods are mythical gods) is just a means to control the weak of mind.

    Wacko nut jobs. Don’t let them get away with their bullshit in those leading the government cult.

  73. Annick says

    If it was God’s will that Obama be president, he must be pretty pissed at all those Christians who voted for McCain.

  74. Bart says

    I escaped from the US some 11 years ago. Seeing this video does not make me want to visit again. Seriously. Some of you guys (present company excepted of course) shouldn’t be allowed to procreate. Sad. Seriously sad.

  75. Rey Fox says

    Forget the video (how could I hold still for nine and a half minutes of voodoo ceremony without even the benefit of costumes and chickens and such?), read the article, it’s way scarier. This guy is a founding member of Operation Rescue, and his presence in the Buffalo Beast has much to do with the fact that one of his Rescue cronies shot an abortion doctor there in 1992.

    To top it off, his moment of epiphany was seeing that rainbow-wigged “John 3:16” guy at a football game. Seriously. Makes one weep for this country.

  76. chancelikely says

    It’s French Stewart, not Stewart French.

    Although I can understand anyone making that particular error.

    Meanwhile, given that the purpose of oil was to mask how terrible everyone and everything smelled, wouldn’t Febreze be more appropriate?

  77. Hank says

    Dear likelychance,
    Thanks for the correction. I’m dyslexic. That’s why I pray to Dog with my arms up and out like Stewart French.

  78. Fellow Traveller says

    I think this senator (a medical doctor no less) was actually blessing the door to protect it from Obama or maybe to purify Obama as he walks through it.

    The latter, I think, based on Exodus 30:29

    And thou shalt sanctify them [the contents of the tabernacle]
    that they may be most holy; whatsoever toucheth them shall be holy.

    So if Obama touches the anointed door frame as he passes through it he will become holy as will anyone else who does so.

    I thought it was the People of The United States Who Created the USA, wasn’t it? What did mythological beings have to do with it?

    Romans 13:1-3

    Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
    Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.
    For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same.

    Paul describes the ruler as a ‘minister of God’.

  79. Patricia, OM says

    OK, before one of you resident wise asses asks – NO, I do not practice voodoo with my chickens. I let them do it themselves. It hasn’t helped one bit with the sock elf problem.

  80. oriole says

    I couldn’t make it through more than a few seconds without having to stop it, due to total revulsion. Can any of you brave souls who made it all the way through it tell us at what time they start spreading the magic oil? That could be entertaining, but I couldn’t take any more of the droning bullshit.

  81. Patricia, OM says

    Fellow Traveller you quit reading Exodus too soon. Finish the chapter. Those guys are in deep shit with gawd for doing this. Only the sons of Aaron may use the stuff and only in the temple.

  82. Blind Squirrel FCD says

    Steal it from the pagans, pee on it, then make it your own

    Is that why my Taco Bell tastes funny?


  83. Dust says

    Patricia, OM @95 informed us: The sign they are making when holding their hands up that way is called ‘supplication’. It means humble begging………

    Currently reading “The Great Derangement” by Matt Taibbi, who infiltrated Fundy Christiandom for the book, and he calls that the “Freeze-Motherfucker mode.”

    Bwa HaHa!!!!!! Love it!

  84. Fellow Traveller says

    Patricia: selective reading of The Holy Bible forms the cornerstone of Christianity.

  85. Shaden Freud says

    David Cross on another fan of anointing, John Ashcroft.

    (Note: NSFW, and according to Snopes, Ashcroft doesn’t really believe that calico cats are a sign of the devil)

  86. Patricia, OM says

    Fellow Traveller – Thank You so much for #126! You do not know the relief you have brought to many here that have waited years to have that so clearly explained to us.

  87. glbrown says

    Thanx for all of the cool bible verse references people. Especially enjoyed the recipe for holy oil.

    I mark them in my kjv I keep on my ppc. Great for discussions with the talibornagain when I run into them.

    These folks need our encouragement to do more of this insanity. Many more people are getting turned off than on.

  88. Egaeus says

    Don’t they have any consideration for the janitors who have to clean their extra-greasy fingerprints off the doors?

  89. Kamaka says

    pwl @ 111

    Nice rant.

    Fellow Traveller – Thank You so much for #126! You do not know the relief you have brought to many here that have waited years to have that so clearly explained to us.

    Ow. Some portion of the anatomy hurts.


  90. Patricia, OM says

    glbrown, Stick around, Pharyngula has a crew of bible quoters that would never be defeated on Jeopardy. ;o)

  91. Janine, Leftist Bozo says

    When it comes to bible stuff, it is Patricia for all the crazy quotes that fundies love, Owlmirror for the original words and various translations and Moses for context. Come for the science and atheism and stay for good book learnin’.

  92. eewolf says

    #105: That’s not even remotely correct, why do they keep on saying it?!

    Is there anything they say where this question would not apply?

  93. glbrown says

    I went to Fry’s and Albertsons and I can’t find any Myrrh. Do you think they have it at the Piggly Wiggly?

  94. DLC says

    (politely ignores the troll who can’t even quote Churchill properly)
    back on topic: So, they greased the door for Obama.
    Now if they would grease the skids under their feet.

  95. Jadehawk says

    eewolf, yeah, but how difficult can it be to keep one single factoid right? this isn’t rocket (or even petri dish) science, after all!


  96. Adrian Burd says

    Sadly, I live in Georgia. It really beggars the imagination that people voted for this imbecile, whose abilities would be stretched to their limit by being a greeter at Walmart. Unfortunately, voters in Georgia appear to have lost their marbles in recent years, voting in a governor who lacks the intellectual capacity to be a greeter at Walmart! I sometimes fear for the future of humanity.


  97. Rob says

    So if Obama touches the anointed door frame as he passes through it he will become holy as will anyone else who does so.

    So what happens if you do that while driving a nail through a cracker?

  98. E.V. says

    Patricia is KB&TN. Keep whackin’ trolls – these posers are too inane for my blood. I’m suffering whackaloon saturation for the moment but I’m having fun lurking and reading the ripostes. (mmmm, that was supposed to read posters, freudian slip, I guess)

  99. says


    Wow, you loonies will use any excuse to bash Obama, won’t you. Bashing him for taking a train and having security? Loony is the only term I can possibly think that fits.

    Even I, not a fan of Bush in any way, was at least constrained by rationality and honesty. I wouldn’t bash him for anything just for the sake of bashing like you idiots do to our President-Elect.

  100. Patricia, OM says

    You can usually get myrrh at a health food store. But remember, unless you are a son of Aaron, if you make that oil gawd will get you for it.

  101. eewolf says

    Jadehawk, I agree completely. It is very difficult to determine when the desperate ignorance is replaced with willful lying. I need to remind myself everyday not to feel too sorry for these people (particularly the pack leaders). These buffoons are too dangerous to let your guard down.

  102. DominEditrix says

    #73: Can I help, huh? huh? Pleasepleaseplease? I throw a mean whip and am not too bad with an acetylene torch…

  103. DominEditrix says

    #138: First you have to plant a Commiphora myrrha tree, then you have to tap the tree by making incisions, then you wait until the sap hardens into beads on the bark. The same can be done with Boswellia carterii [frankincense].

    Then you make a bunch of money selling it to whack jobs who want to make “real” oil for anointing doorways, car seats, young girls.

  104. aratina says

    Speaking of selective Bible quoting, I was happy to enlighten three talibangelicals to the reference to Lilith they were holding in their poor hands (Isaiah 34:14). They squirmed when they read the notes to that passage on the inner lining and I think the two younger ones had a glimmer of realization that the book they were holding was much richer than what the church was telling them. The matriarch quickly found a “better” verse to spout as a diversion.

  105. glbrown says

    Now wait a minute Patricia. ‘Health Food Stores’ are overrun with liberalcomieislamoathiestfacists. And they are the gay too. Everything in those places is tainted.

    gawd will surely smite me for using tainted ingredients in the oil I am trying to get to heaven with.

    And what’s up with 250 shekels for sweet calamus?

  106. Patricia, OM says

    DominEditrix –
    Come on in! I hid my whips a couple of months ago, ol’ Pilty was gettin frisky in my direction. *shiver* Feel free to use the spanking couch if Naked Bunny With a Whip isn’t wearing it out… smirk. We may need that torch.

    Thankyou E.V. *blush*

  107. Molly, NYC says

    Re “everyone” @ 75 :

    Do not confuse real science (math, physics) with myths (darwinsm).

    Right. People who’ve spent years performing benchwork, who pay the rent by doing research, who went to considerable time and expense to get, say, advanced science degrees–oh no, they don’t know anything about science.

    “everyone’s”–what? The president of your Bible college? Your sweet old mother? Anyway, whoever fed you the utterly incoherent crapola you’ve been spewing–knows more about science than actual scientists.

    You betcha.

    A clue, “everyone”: Ignorance is not a source of insight. The fact that you clearly wouldn’t know a nucleotide from a Zagnut bar actually doesn’t mean that you can recognize some large pattern (such as a hole in some major theoretical framework) that real scientists are too close to see. Being able to reliably recognize a pattern takes more information, not less. Telling yourself otherwise–trying to pretend that your abject intellectual laziness is a virtue–is an expression of your contempt for scientists, and of science.

    IOW, You’re anti-science–and haven’t even the balls to own up to it.

    Darwinism do not seek general laws. Each species has its own history – due different “natural selection”. There are no laws in darwinism, everyone can present his own fantasy about how an ancient fish evolved into human.

    Right. A fantasy. Unlike, say, religion. Seriously, “everyone,” out of whose ass did you pull your beliefs?

    No one is able to check those fantasmagories.

    Right. Unless they bothered to look at Methods and Materials section prominently included with virtually every bit of published research.

    The most curious are those Haldane etc… equations with variables no one knows values of. No wonder that Dawkins, Gould or Wilson do not agree at which level “natural selection” operates – genes, individuals or even – group selection?

    Right. Because if evolution can be discussed in more than one context, it means evolution doesn’t exist–in the same way that, if red is a color for both fire trucks and stop signs, then the color red doesn’t exist.

  108. glbrown says

    aratina, my Isaiah 34:14 says;

    ‘The wild beasts of the desert shall also meet with the wild beasts of the island…’

    This is the plate tectonics reference, not anything Lilith did.

    Let’s try to keep up.

  109. clinteas says

    Davison is where I draw the line with SIWOTI syndrome,to be honest…

    As to this video,I dont know what to say,other than that I am astonished.
    And a little worried about mankind.

  110. Patricia, OM says

    Don’t worry about the gays & liberals, they are all already doomed for hell anyway.

    Well, I’m swoggled, I’ve got unicorns in my Isaiah 34 but no Lilith.

  111. DominEditrix says

    The NSRV says:

    Wildcats shall meet with hyenas,
    goat-demons shall call to each other;
    there too Lilith shall repose,
    and find a place to rest.

    Issues of translation. Lilith appears as a screech owl in the KJV.

  112. Keanus says

    PZ, where do you find these loons? Does Goggle have a special on-line loon detector? Between Congressman Brown and Dr.s Salla, and Lash you’ve found three beauts.

  113. glbrown says


    Bless you, bless you. I didn’t know that Lilith was the screech owl. I feel filled with the spirit of the lawd now that you have anointed me with your godly knowledge that I am sure jebus will value when he judges me next tuesday.

    Praise the lawd brother, or sister. as long as you are not teh gay.

    p.s. notice how I cunningly got the OT in this ridiculous comment. Extra points?

  114. Rodger T NZ says

    I would have thought that greasing the door knobs was a pretty funny practical joke.I did`nt really think those religious 1/2 wits had a sense of humour.

  115. Patricia, OM says

    clinteas – Just imagine what you’d be seeing if Palin had won. (Have barf bag handy)

  116. E.V. says

    clinteas – Just imagine what you’d be seeing if Palin had won.

    A mass exodus to Oz or Kiwiland?

  117. Mena says

    Hmm, it sounds like Michelle Bachmann may not be the biggest whacko in Congress by a particularly big margin. Paul Broun is pretty close. At least he didn’t try the alien brain suck on Bush.

  118. Aquaria says

    You know what makes these twits even dumber than thinking they might be putting some liquid magic fairy dust on our next President?

    Did it not occur to them that Obama will have to appear before untold millions (if not billions) of people that day, he has to look good, and they just put something on the doors that could stain his suit if he brushes against the jamb?

    Fucking morons.

    If it messed up my clothes, I’d make them pay my dry cleaning bills.

  119. VegeBrain says

    We are engaged in the most important intellectual war in the history of science and there is no doubt in my mind as to who the winners already are and always were.

    The war is already over; your ilk just doesn’t know it yet. Science has won and faith has lost. It used to be that faith was all that was needed in order to “prove” something, but now that enlightenment values have swept the world faith no longer is adequate. Instead we find people of faith bowing to skepticism and desperately grasping at straws in order to provide evidence of the supernatural. That’s what really gets believers angry: they’re now asked for proof.

  120. Louise Van Court says

    As a believer it does not bother me that they wanted to pray or even to anoint in private. Many people are praying for the new president and the leaders of our nation.
    The fact that they allowed someone to video the whole thing and put it on YouTube just makes it obvious that their audience was not God alone. False humility and insincerity are pathetic.

  121. scooter says

    At least you can get your cat FIXED, and it will stop spraying nasty smelling stuff on your door frames.


    Maybe we could start a public health campaign urging people to get their Jews and Christians neutered.

    And Muslimms, too. I don’t want to leave anybody out at the dawn of this new era of inclusiveness.

  122. co says

    everyone, @ #75:

    I am a physicist. Yes, physics is a “real science”. So is biology, which hinges on evolution (call it “darwinism” if you’d like; it’s a pretty sure sign—as though everything else you’ve said isn’t—that you understand nothing of it).
    There are often rivalries, whether in jest or serious, as to the “hardness” of biology vs., say, physics. Most of those rivalries are between people who know rather little about either subject; we physicists greatly admire biologists. Theirs is a *very* difficult lot, and their cleverness at making things testable is evident.

    In short, fuck you and the nematode you rode in on. Learn whereof you speak, _before_ you speak.

  123. DominEditrix says

    #159: It’s just fun to play with the minds of the Biblical literalists – sit them down and insist they explain why, if the Bible is the direct word of God, there are different versions. Do this with a look of epic concern upon your face. Tell them you are confused, then cite them differences such as the Lilith/screech owl one.

    It’s fun to watch them try frantically to figure out how to rationalise it, given that most of them have a specific version of the Bible that they espouse. If you can maintain wide-eyed and concerned and just ask persistence questions, they tend to become unnerved. [It helps if you have a Bible lying around that you can clutch; I stole mine from a hotel.]

    I almost miss suburban living – I got lots of wandering Baptists, JWs and Mormons. Not so much in the city. [Tho’, when I lived in NYC, they came in bunches. I used to hand out pamphlets for Great Spiderism, a religion that has disappeared into the maw of time, along with the True Faith of the Sacred Cat. Ah, well…]

  124. scooter says

    Patricia 145

    unless you are a son of Aaron, if you make that oil gawd will get you for it.

    prescription only massage oil, huh? I wonder if that’s a smokescreen, and the stuff is actually the holy grail of MALE ENHANCEMENT formula that REALLY WORKS. Son of Aaron TM is guarenteed to make that certain part of the male body LARGER. Especially if you use it to fry all your foods, and that “certain part” is the midsection.

    What about the lube qualities? This could be the ancient secret God-Glide that makes those all-male Monastery Nights livable, with the special herbs an annointments that heat up.

    And these fucking idiots are wasting the stuff on a doorknob. It’s probably because their scripture has botched the interpretation of “apply freely to thine knob until blessing comes forth”

  125. marc buhler says

    Patricia + EV (comments 161 + 162…)

    I gave up residing in the USA for life here in Australia just a couple of month before Reagan took office. Sure, I missed the Clinton years (but I did go wave to him when he drove through Sydney once) however I was able to watch *all* of the Bush disaster from a safe distance.

    So help me Dog.

  126. SEF says

    @ #149, #153, #155, #157 and #159:

    The R.S.V. in front of me has “yea, there shall the night hag alight”. The owl actually puts in its appearance in the next verse instead (Isaiah 34:15).

    So (for v14) Lilith = night hag = screech owl. Quite an evolutionary transubstantiation going on there.

  127. Falyne says

    Actually, it’s a bit of linguistic/mythological transubstantiation. Lilith is associated with the night hag/nightmare/fairy-abduction/UFO-abduction/other-stuff-associated-with-sleep-paralysis.

    According to her wikipedia article, the screech owl bit is the KJV trying to be poetic with the creepy imagery.

  128. Emmet, OM says

    Vegemite pwns Marmite anyway…

    Much the same way that eating a urinal cake from a truck-stop toilet pwns sucking on the rag used to mop its floor.

  129. clinteas says

    OMG Herr Caulfield,

    was that comparison really necessary? LOL,some of us are trying to have dinner here….

    As to vegemite,im with you all the way,a more vile concoction the planet has never seen.

  130. Wowbagger says


    Sure, Vegemite isn’t the nicest-tasting substance in the world but its high Vitamin B content makes it an invaluable component of my hangover remedy. A couple of slices of toast and Vegemite and a mug of tea and I’m usually good enough to move onto phase two: fast-food-chain hamburgers (either of the two big franchises; I live about a mile from one of each), chips (‘fries’) and lots and lots of Coke.

  131. 'Tis Himself says

    Vegemite is proof that intelligent design is a myth. Nobody would purposely design Vegemite and I won’t even bother refuting the “intelligent” part of Vegemite design.

    Certain Australians eat Vegemite to prove their manhood or womanhood, as the case may be. Just as there are people who get sexual thrills by having others urinate on them, there are Aussies who get thrills by eating Vegemite.

  132. Slugsie says

    Some atheists need to go along and dis-anoint the door. Video yourselves doing it and post the video *after* Obama is sworn in. That might be good for a few laughs.

  133. says

    Numerous creations more vile than vegemite have been seen, and even tasted. All known tasters died, which is why those creations are now never seen and mostly forgotten. Vegemite is as disgusting as it’s possible to be without always being fatal. I don’t know if there’s anything like a Scoville scale for appalling horridness, but if there is, I presume vegemite would be rated at approximately +∞.

    And getting back on topic, a lump of vegemite is probably more intelligent then those two clowns. But then so is your average Vogon.

  134. Falyne says


    Natto is worse than vegimite, yet not fatal.

    And then there’s that corn fungus stuff.

  135. DebinOz says

    Well, now I am really insulted. Vegemite is the breakfast of the gods, spread thinly on a nice piece of toast and butter. Or eaten in similar fashion late at night before bed.

  136. SEF says

    Some atheists need to go along and dis-anoint the door.

    Doesn’t the place have cleaners anyway?

  137. Porco Dio says

    these loonies should get locked up in a crazy-house…

    if these guys are stupid enough to anoint a door, i shudder to think what’s next.

    oh wait!

  138. CRS says

    Traditional Jews can smear it with goat blood, if they still do that. FSMers (excuse me, Pastafarians) can smear it with marinara sauce. Or alfredo sauce. (I’m not sure which. Sorry.)

    All true Pastafarians know proper anointing is done with extra virgin olive oil or at least a good pesto sauce made with EVOO.

  139. ysbaddaden says

    Dr. Van Helsing used to rub down doors with garlic.

    At least that’s better than what doctors do today,

    Rub down their patients.

  140. ysbaddaden says

    Praise Bob!!!

    Connie serves him Flying Spaghetti Monster for dinner,

    Along with some garlic toast, a nice tossed salad, some good gellato, all washed down with some chilled Barbaresco.

  141. Dust says

    SEF @ 181 noted: Doesn’t the place have cleaners anyway?

    Yes, and imagine the curses they anoited the door with when they had to clean that shit up!

  142. YetAnotherKevin says

    Rob @137:

    If you do that, you will force God to unmake the universe, just like the movie “Dogma”.

  143. Emmet, OM says

    Oh, come on, people – lutefisk will out-ick vegemite any day…

    Surströmming and natto fall straight from the devil’s own asshole on alternate days. Vegemite, marmite and other such “extracts” are, admittedly, somewhat less vile. I’ve never actually eaten lutefisk, but from the description, I’d imagine it to be somewhat more disgusting than “extracts” but less revolting than putrefied fish and rotting beans.

  144. DominEditrix says

    less revolting than putrefied fish

    It’s probably on a par. My Norwegian grandmother used to make it. Other than that particular fetish, she was an excellent cook.

  145. ElJay says

    With all this talk of Vegemite, the vastly superior Marmite and the best of the three Bovril(just add extremely boiled down cows to marmite) I have to ask, am I the only one who imports to the USA the ultimate breakfast toast spread: Anchovette?
    Mushed up whole anchovies in a fish paste base.

  146. gaypaganunitarianagnostic says

    Spreading oil around, silly. Now if they had smudged the area with white sage, That would have been sensible.

  147. says

    Suppose the lumps of vegemite had “anointed” the door with Nattō?

    Hum… I suppose making the doorway smell like the outgoing gang of thieving murderers would be a bit rude.

  148. 'Tis Himself says

    am I the only one who imports to the USA the ultimate breakfast toast spread: Anchovette?

    Anchovy paste is what the gods eat when they’re tired of ambrosia.

  149. says

    I’m pretty sure they ought to sacrifice a goat or, if it’s so important to them, 100 oxen. Getting them into the halls might make quite a mess, though.

  150. Jonathon says

    This video contains evidence of a crime: defacing public property. I would like to see the Capitol Police use this evidence to prosecute those involved.

  151. David Marjanović, OM says

    What I found the most exotic how the other two always tried to interrupt the guy who was praying (at random intervals: “Yes. — Yes, Lord. — Hear us, Lord.”), though that guy seemed to have expected it and just carried on.

    Much the same way that eating a urinal cake from a truck-stop toilet pwns sucking on the rag used to mop its floor.

    Urgh. Thredd can has winz0r!!1

    BTW… whole anchovies?

  152. Nightsky says

    TimH@26:…sentenced to annointing all the windows of the Capitol Buiding with Windex.

    *snork* That was awesome.

  153. Kathryn in California says

    These guys aren’t anointing the door as a way to bless anyone. In their religious tradition, they’re doing two things:

    1. Dog-pissing the door: “territorially marking” it to show they own it (which will drive out the demons which infest doors and everything else not owned (“claimed”) by real-true-dominionist Christians) or

    2. Targeting the people who use the door: adding a religious land-mine. If their target doesn’t now become a r-t-d-C, they’ll be cursed.

    From an article on Rick Warren and Dominionists

    “Neopente dominionists (especially within the Assemblies of God…) promote the use of “annointing [sic] oil” as a form of “territorial marking” to “name and claim” a targeted area for their dominionist God. Olive oil… is recommended, or–if you’re out of extra virgin–plain old Wesson oil is recommended as “your faith will sanctify it”…

    “the use of Wesson-oil “territorial pissings” is not just restricted to faith-healing and marking buildings as “Joel’s Army turf”; more disturbingly, it’s also used to mark possessions of people, specifically people whom are targets for conversion (they will mark their possessions and “pray” for them to follow the dominionists’ will or else; infamously, this was actually done by an Assemblies-linked pastor to all the chairs in the Senate chambers during the Alito hearings. Pagans and even mainstream Christians will in fact recognise this as a form of hexing; other forms of “cursing people in the name of Christ” of this sort involve nailing people’s names to crosses and “praying” over them (as occurs regularly at See You At The Pole events held in schools and promoted by dominionist groups).

    Yes, really, and there are many millions of people in the U.S. who think this way. The Joel’s Army model is highly authoritarian. Every man in a congregation is part of a small group who check up on each other and report to their “shepherd,” all the way up the hierarchy.

  154. Shadow says

    Natto: My spouse and child like this dreck. It may actually taste good, but smells like it is an advanced state of decay.

  155. Alan Rogers says

    To all Americans: Please read Tom Paine “The Age of Reason”
    available at:-
    or any good bookshop.
    The only good thing we English gave to the Republic in the 18th century.
    This will tell you why the disturbling religiosity exibited here must be overcome.

  156. SEF says

    Well that really was quite a freak show – replete with religious nuttery, dodgy singing and bad poetry reading.

    The real ooh though was that Obama risked including non-believers in his speech. He also threatened to bring back science (unless its “proper place” is that of being wiped out). Now he just has to deliver on all that … preferably without getting assassinated …

  157. Sal Bracciola says

    #16 reminds me of the headstone allegedly to be found in some New England graveyard: “He was pious, but without enthusiasm.” (unfortunately, the wording probably meant, at that time, that he was a mainstream Protestant and not a charismatic.)

  158. Sal Baracciola says

    re #24: No — it *did* work. Imagine, if you can, how bad things might otherwise have become.

  159. ouizzzl says


    I think our Forefathers were more protective of mixing church and state than today. I believe it was Andrew Jackson (an Atheist) he didn’t put his hand on a Bible for his Oath of Office, but instead, a set of laws. (Which is really what he gave an Oath to protect)
    I think today we would have more of a problem with an Atheist President over a Black President.

    If you want to pray, please go to your church or place of worship and pray there. Government and Religion are two separate entities each with their own merits. Let us keep them separate please.