…and this site is fertile ground for those seeking to spread the word of Jesus Christ. The readership here is far more in need of the word than Egypt, Colombia, Iraq, Solomon Islands, Malaysia, Zambia, Togo, Austria, Pakistan or Iran. So, please, get a bible. They’re free, and if you don’t take them, they’ll be sent off to some poor innocent in some nice country like Egypt, Colombia, Iraq, Solomon Islands, Malaysia, Zambia, Togo, Austria, Pakistan or Iran, where they aren’t needed as much.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Think of all the money I just saved on Christmas shopping.
haha, I’ll take another copy, I collect them
You know, I keep hearing that the Bible is the most printed book in the world, but is that because of demand or just because they won’t stop printing the fucking things?
Egypt, Colombia, Iraq, Solomon Islands, Malaysia, Zambia, Togo, Austria, Pakistan or Iran
What’s Austria doing on that list? Seems so random. Are they too Catholic or something?
Think of all the money I just saved on Christmas wrapping paper!
I imagine it’s because Jebus keeps telling them to print them. You know, the imaginary voices in their heads.
I always keep a Bible handy. Do you have any idea how many times I’ve proven a point to a faithful Christian by using the book they’ve supposedly read? It’s the best fatal blow I can think of. Unfortunately, they never seem to see it that way.
I’d get one but I don’t think I could stand the look on the postwoman’s face when she comes delivering it to my door.
I have a Bible-shaped hole in my soul. I’m sure some ancient babbling will fill it.
So you can imagine my delight at this.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7
Matt7895, just say you were short on rolling papers…
Anyone happen to know Richard Dawkins’ mailing address?
Hey, good timing, I was just about out of the old newspaper I use to start my grill.
Ordered. I just hope it shows up, unlike my 3 “free” Narnia DVDs I ordered a year or so ago.
Besides giving me a pleasant memory of hearing They Might Be Giants sing “Alphabet of Nations” this weekend… I think I may be missing the point. Sure, by taking a bible, (very much like taking a bullet), we save some poor schmoe in a foreign land, but, really – how many bibles can you take? 2? 10? 20? They won’t stop printing the damned things. You might selflessly leap on one grenade, but how are you going to get up and do it over and over again, (to muddle up my simile).
I’m sorry, but I think it’s time someone took a bible for me.
@ #12
You didn’t get your Narnia DVD’s because you didn’t adequately believe they were coming. More faith. Less complaining.
One of the door to door types gave me a Book Of Mormon a few years back. Had no use for it, obviously, but I have to admit it was pretty nice. Actual leather cover, beautiful end papers, solid binding. It’s still on a shelf in my house somewhere.
That was my thought, too. The last thing I want to do is give the impression that there is more of a demand for the things than there really is.
Pinched one from the hotel room on my last holiday,Im all set to challenge Patricia for her knowledge of verses.
Uh, isn’t Colombia 90~95% Christian? Why is it on the list?
Well Austria did just have a general election in which far right parties got 30% of the vote. However I think many of those will already have found a god: Just not a very nice one it would seem.
They should send more to the northern regions to help people save money and/or effort on finding firewood.
@tsg
No biggie if we create demand, it will cost them more money. What else are they going to use their donation money for? Charity? LOL. More like cars and houses for top church clergy.
DaveR@10: I’m pretty sure RD has bibles coming out of his ears. Metaphorically speaking. He could probably insulate his house with them.
For you crafty types, why not turn your free bible into a book safe?
Be careful. You may think requesting a free bible looks pretty harmless, but I wouldn’t give these people my personal details if they promised me tickets to the Superbowl and plane tickets to get there. I can already see the godspam flooding my physical mailbox.
Actually i read somewhere the ikea catalogue is the most printed book world wide.
Mostly because that’s the first one thieves check. It’s well known that people don’t actually read the things.
I can’t wait for my free bible for the sole purpose of filming the expression of the postman/woman’s face as I light it ablaze in front of him/her. ahh.. the small pleasures in life..
@#18: Most of the “evangelical” branches of the xian cults consider the Catholics as non-‘saved’. The Baptists (I was raised in a Baptist home) preach that the Catholics are all going to Hell.
Which, BTW, is one of the fundamental reasons that Christians are not nearly as dangerous as muslims. While the muslim superstition is somewhat fragmented, it is much easier to play the “both ends against the middle” game with Christians. When you can get them all stirred up about each other, it distracts them from more dangerous pursuits, like political repression of atheists.
P.S. It appears that this site has something against Firefox. I had to use the MS virus-magnet to post this.
—
http://www.chl-tx.com
“without the 2nd Amendment, the rest of the document is just wishful thinking”
i’ll be making sure all moslem families in my neighbourhood will be receiving theirs…
it’s the surest way to get this garbage where it belongs.
in the garbage can.
what? muslims dangerous?? since when!? he did raise a good point though.
Thou shalt not challenge Patricia on her knowledge of verses.
Thou shall surprise and delight her with quotes from Cervantes and Balzac! Thereby causing great gales of giggling and twirling in the universe.
You dudes are one collection of sick puppies. So there’s no god! Why waste your life on a ‘there’s no god website?’ …. or a ‘there’s no Santa Clause’ website …. or a ‘I don’t believe in the Easter Bunny website?’ If there’s no god, get over it!! Get a life ….. like a job … or a hobby …… why not party more, before you’re so old you’ve lost your mind and soil your diapers all the time. I don’t believe in a lot of things, but I sure do not waste what little time I have in this life hanging out on a ‘I don’t believe in whatever’ websites! There are a ton of multiplayer games out here that are way more fun than hanging out with a bunch of I-don’t believe-in-god-or-whatever sickos who seemed obsessed with not believing in something, not to mention, obsessed with dissing other people who believe in whatever you don’t believe in. You all need to see Dr. Phil …. Big Time! Get a life! Do something useful … or at least something fun.
Can I order a couple pallets of them so I can mortar them together like bricks and build a shed?
Leucine @ 39 : I’m having fun. We’re all having fun. Except for you.
Do you think you get to decide what is fun for all of us too?
“… I wouldn’t give these people my personal details if they promised me tickets to the Superbowl and plane tickets to get there. I can already see the godspam flooding my physical mailbox.”
You can be sure one of the primary objectives is to try to guilt recipients into supporting their mission by sending them “whatever you can afford.”
Leucine Zipper – Clap heels to thine ass brother, and hence.
Take that Clinteas!
I wonder how many I could get shipped? It would solve my home heating dilemma for the coming winter.
Get back to saving the universe on your little video game, Leucine. Nothing to see here…
Wait, I should start doing something useful with my life… like playing multiplayer online games!?!? Shit dude, why not just get a good smack habit? Horse is way more fun than WoW and only slightly more addictive and socially destructive.
Look Leuc, it isn’t called “making fun” because it isn’t fun. And you’re the one who apparently watches Dr. Phil so don’t EVER tell me I’ve wasted a second of my life.
I’d send for one, but I prefer a softer paper for my bathroom needs.
If these are the good versions with the fine thin paper, we could repurpose them as pads of origami practice paper.
Come to think of it, I wonder what would happen to a busker that set up a stand creating paper frogs etc. out of bible pages at a couple of bucks a pop? One or two free bibles could set him up for the summer.
Leucine,”You dude are one sick puppy. So there’s no fun! Why waste your life on a ‘there’s no fun website?’
What are you doing here on this thread, wasting your precious gaming time ?
“I don’t believe in a lot of things, but I sure do not waste what little time I have in this life hanging out on a ‘I don’t believe in whatever’ websites!”
Well, I find a lot of things unfunny, but I sure do not waste what little time I have in this life trying to convince people it is unfunny…
It never ceases to amaze me how far out of their way some people will go to tell you how uninteresting they think the subject of someone’s blog entry is.
Go read something else. No one’s got a gun to your head.
Hihi
My bible is apparently on its way… I do actually have one, I’m not sure where though, not seen it since I moved nearly three years ago, perhaps He took it back due to lack of use…
Irritatingly, that form requires a phone number to be entered, I’d be surprised if everyone in the countries mentioned has a working phone line.
(.)(.)
Just imagine what could be bought if all the money spent on manufacturing and mailing those bibles- and on the website space for that link- were spent on food, clothing and real education instead of spreading ancient superstition to people who need those former things much more.
Woops.. I mean the education and all that.. I guess I need to go back to english class ..
I’d rather have a book on my shelves that I intent to read some day.
I do remember when we received our grandmother’s Bible after my uncle died. This was a Bible printed in the 1800s and it had a Temperance Pledge page and she made him sign it. According to my father he didn’t keep the pledge.
Oh, well, Jesus can’t solve all the world’s problems.
Hey we don’t need any more bibles here in Colombia, thank you very much, the Catholic Church has it’s evil hands around our necks tight enough.
pzpeahead,
Not if I toss it in the trash when I get it or burn it in my stove. What did you think I would do with it? Donate it to Goodwill?
PZ – thanks for the hot tip! I have been looking for a nice period fantasy piece to read, and now I’m getting one for free! Sweet.
I added “God bless you” in the comment field to make me stand out from all the other bible-requesting pharynguloids. And by “God”, I of course mean the flying spaghetti monster.
I actually don’t have a bible, but I would love to have one, so to better debate Christians.
Tom Nielsen,
I did a similar thing, writing “Thank you and may God bless,” in the comment section.
Sending in a Bible request brought me back to my high school days, when we would sneak out of our dorms (I went to a boarding school) past lights out to go smoke in the basement bathroom. I have not felt this sketchy in a long time.
Actually, I can’t think of a better way to convert people to atheism than to have them read the bible.
I wonder which version they send. In their bookstore they sell a hardcover KJV and a paperback NIV, along with something called an “Amplified Bible” and some “study” bibles.
Aha! A coincidence…
Earlier today I was walking across the campus of the University of Wisconsin. It was saturated with smiling men handing out free “testaments”. They were the cheap little kind with tiny print and were completely useless for wrapping fish or garbage or gifts. I was offered several but I ignored the offers.
Now for the good news… Hundreds – perhaps thousands – of young students were wandering by, too. I did not see one of them take a bible.
WE ARE RAISING A GENERATION OF INFIDELS!! HOORAY!!
Man, I’ve got a really good version of the Old Testament from my sophemore year of high school (Jewish Confirmation, strangely enough). In the margins are all of my notes about inconsistencies and bad laws.
Yay! My crisis of faith more or less recorded in a holy book.
what if we all get them in bulk and put them straight in the paper recycling?
No thanks. I find the off-brand I get at Smart & Final adequately absorbent, and frugal.
Please recycle
“For you crafty types, why not turn your free bible into a book safe?”
Or hide your porn in it? :)
Have you heard of the bible smugglers? They try to sneak copies of bibles into countries like China and Islamic countries. I think they want to get caught too. Part of their martyr persecution complex I reckon. The funny thing is as far as China is concerned bible smuggling is a waste of time as you can legally buy bibles in China…
http://www.journeyonline.com.au/showArticle.php?categoryId=2&articleId=776
What I’ve always wondered though is how they smuggle bibles in? Do they stick one in a condom and then stick it up their arse?
Oooooh, free kitty litter tray liners, fantastic.
One less bible in the world to ambush an unsuspecting human. In 4-6 weeks anyway. Bibles make good kindling, though it might also be fun to cut it up Jefferson style and shock my Christian friends.
During my stint in the army, I made sure to accept any of the free bibles they were handing out.
they’re compact, they’re useful for lots of projects, they’re good for reminding you of all the crazy shit in the bible, and if you ever get confronted by a fundangelical, it’s wonderful when you can whip one out and they cant.
I mean, they’re fundamentally unprepared for a discussion already, they may as well forget their textbook too. I love pointing out where they misquote.
Leucine Zipper
once upon a time I went to church, even went to a church school but I no longer go to church. I have followed my own path and have been content to argue and reason with friends and others over religion and philosophy. I was content to let others live their lives and believe as they wished and respect thoes trying to live an honorable life.
Things have changed for the worse in the last few years. The growth of militant religion and its conflicts and absolutist practices all over the whole world has forced me to change my mind some. Most of the world is now threatened by theocracy of one kind or another and I find that I must resist this tyranny along the other more well known forms of fascism and communism . When militant fundamentalist religion and politics join all liberty is threatened!
Only by resisting openly and speaking freely is liberty preserved not by slipping in the background and “getting a life” and partying!
Taking a stand and being involved is getting a life in its full meaning and implications.
If you think that these religionists are not a threat you have not been paying attention. If you think this struggle is against god you are not paying attention.
There are no “super natural beings” only people and their ideas so the struggle is against people who want to control everyone according to a “story” they think is true in all ways and who see that all means justify the ends. So go ahead and party but on when they come for you don’t act surprised.
#19 – The Austrian politicians even of the right-wing parties *do* make sure everybody knows they are devout Catholics.
Obviously Austria is a misprint. They meant Australia. We are sorely in need of saving down here. A poll was released today that said if you Americans were to let us vote for you nearly three quarters of all Australians would vote for Obama.
http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/obama-wins-by-a-landslide–in-australia/2008/09/29/1222650989574.html
We really need a good thrashing with a really big book if we would vote for that man over such a godly couple as McCain/Palin.
Wholly shit, by the pound.
The gay community bankrupted Jerry Falwell’s group a couple decades ago by ordering free bibles from him, often sent to ficticious addresses (which meant double postage, more than the price of printing them). Now that would be wrong, that’s for sure, but sometimes wrong is right.
I’d request one, but I don’t want … them … having my address.
Ploon @ 22
“Be careful. You may think requesting a free bible looks pretty harmless, but I wouldn’t give these people my personal details if they promised me tickets to the Superbowl and plane tickets to get there. I can already see the godspam flooding my physical mailbox.”
This was the first thing I thought of as well. Not the sort of people I’d want to have my home address.
What I’ve always wondered though is how they smuggle bibles in? Do they stick one in a condom and then stick it up their arse?
That gave me an unhealthy mental image of a few people I know… that inexplicably gave me a huge smile.
Hmm, maybe I should borrow the phonebooks of my country from th elibrary and start filling out orders. Might need a script for that :) to get two or three for each.
Austria? This seems to be a hell of an inclusion with countries that religion parasitizes as a result of poverty and abject despair.
Wouldn’t ‘The Bible According to the Ilk’ be a gut buster. Imagine the Song of Soloman translated by Bride of Shrek, Scooter, Quiet Desperation and myself…then Genesis 1 by PZ, Genesis 2 by Holbach.
Hm, an ethical dilemma:
Do I have them send me one in hopes that some potential future infidel will be left uncorrupted, or do I pass it up because in all likelihood it won’t be the NRSV + Apocrypha I’ve wanted for some time? (Right now, if I need a Bible, I usually use the New American Bible. But I’d really rather have one with all the Greek books, not just the ones the Catholic Church liked.)
I call Poe on Leu Zip.
Leucine Zipper @ 30:
We are. Right here.
Tag.
I noticed Antarctica is on the drop down list of countries to choose from. Is the thought of Hell somehow comforting to someone whose butt is half frozen solid?
Patricia
My head is twirling over the thought of SoS being rewritten by that group.
We would also have to make room for Blake Stacey and Truth Machine somewhere. It might be interesting to find some books for the libertarians to play with–say Leviticus.
I just ordered one for myself (in the UK) and one for my local council paper recycling depot.
I like The Alphabet of Nations, but I found this the other day, pretty cool too.
I have the Skeptics Annotated Bible when I need to reference the bible, so I will pass on this one.
It’s much more educational.
Leucine Zipper
I do have a very interesting life. I only read this site when I need a break from work.
It can also be educational. Or is learning a waste of time in your opinion?
Is there a law, similar to Poe’s Law, that states that anyone telling people to ‘get a life’ is probably the one most desperately in need of one?
If not, let me suggest “Shatner’s Law”, on the basis of that SNL sketch.
Here are two more quality books for you to order, perfect firestarters both:
http://www.the-end.com/Order_Free_Book.asp
Please try not to laugh too much when reading the descriptions, I wouldn’t want anyone to strain a muscle.
there’s something about bible pages, that are just so much softer than regular toilet paper.
I think it’s fairly self-evident. Naming it would be like having a name for “grass is green”.
It’s not quite the same. Shatner was at least invited to speak. A better analogy would be someone who goes to Star Trek conventions just tell everyone there how pointless Star Trek conventions are.
why I love PZ:
They don’t provide links, perhaps fearing that this could become even more popular. Here you go:
http://www.youtube.com/user/fsmdude
:)
Sleazy, Paul. Very sleazy.
Nerd of Redhead – No doubt Blake Stacey is going to volunteer to translate all of the parts about Asses. That is his area of brilliant expertise.Perhaps we could lure MAJeff back if we offer him Leviticus!
I know we have a Unicornist or two here. Ichthyic should be up to Jonah.
Who wants the Begats?
Oh yeah, Truth Machine – genocides. ;o)
JK, we show religion all the respect it deserves–none.
Nothing is sacred. Deal with it.
weird. that post #88 was obviously supposed to be in the thread on the youtube crackergate.
since I hadn’t even opened the thread where it ended up, I really can’t figure out how it got there.
Is it NSRV? I already have a KJV. And a Thai-language New Testament (the gideons get around.)
Gawd didit.
Oh and while we’re talking bibles, I must plug The Bible with Sources Revealed. It’s actually just the Torah but it’s color-coded by source (J,E,D,P, etc) and a whole lot of fun.
Gawd didit.
quick! go tell JK we now have empirical evidence!
:P
sites like that are the ultimate proof that Christianity is singlehandedly responsible for deforestation.
1. Deluded people offer free book of Bronze Age myths.
2. Request said free book.
3. ???
4. Profit!
I don’t see what is sleazy about requesting a free book. Maybe you can enlighten this heathen.
Or maybe not.
I hope Boris Badenov of Russia’s Base on King George III Island, Antarctica likes his new bible.
For anyone who wants entertainment delivered to your door: Order a free copy of the book of Mormon. They actually send two poor mormon interns to your door for skewering. Ahh… cheap laughs. I recommend it.
“There are a ton of multiplayer games out here that are way more fun than hanging out [here]”
Pbbbt. No there aren’t. I watched a guy playing a MMORPG in college once. Just ran around a big area killing random things while illiterates “chatted” in the bottom of the screen. I guess if that’s your idea of “fun”, then have at it.
#5 – I LOL’d!
I take free bibles whenever I can, so I can help rid the world of such trash. Someone at my library often puts some on the table by the book return in the lobby. There’s some blather on the inside cover about free bibles for anyone who needs one. Every time my 11 year old son sees them, he takes them and gleefully throws them in the trash can. That’s my boy!
Well, actually, the religion there is football (soccer for Americans).
Please. You can’t wage war against an army. You wouldn’t even draw faster.
That’s a mighty exaggeration. And what do you mean by “even”?
Did anyone get the irony of having a ‘Feed the Hungry’ link on this web page?
I was just wondering how many lives they could save by NOT printing the bible and instead using this money to actually help people in need!
Requested my copy. Now to Facebook…
#30:
You seem to be under the mistaken impression that what we’re doing isn’t fun. And ridiculing people with the improbable name of Leucine Zipper is really fun. You don’t qualify strictly as a concern troll…kvetch troll perhaps?
Come back soon and tell us all the fun and worthwhile things you’ve accomplished Ms. Fly. We can’t wait.
Seeing how many of you wonder why “X” country is on the list when they are mostly Catholic…..well duh, Catholics aren’t real christians! I was channel surfing and stopped long enough on a fundie show to learn that the various South American countries need to be saved from the Pope. Thats right, battle of the missionaries. Next on Fox!
@89,
Silly, John. Very silly.
Hey Nick, did your dungfish finally give up?
pzph:
Maybe, but those bibles still cost money to print, and the ones received here will be put to better use.
JanieBelle is the only proper choice to rewrite the Song of Solomon.
You are all godless heathens…
I have been called worse… *shrugs*
Getting a Bible for free is quite easy, any churches will hand you one if you are interested, or they visit your home. I had to turn down evangelists coming to my home handing them out, I have six or so already from all the previous visits. O.o
I have been called worse… *shrugs*
*whooosh*
Timothy Wood:
I feel more sorry than contemptuous for Mormon missionaries. The thing to do, if you’re so inclined to invite them in at all, is to offer them a beverage and give them a little time to get off their feet, as long as they don’t talk religion.
Whether you actually keep the BoM is up to you; I can say that I have a copy myself and I have to agree with Mark Twain about it being chloroform in print. I keep it on a shelf next to two Bible, two Qurans, and a copy of Science and Health. (Also some fun stuff by Karen Armstrong, Burton Mack, and others.)
LOL at #68! Oh, lordy! BTW I do think the Bible’s worth reading. You can’t criticize (or enjoy, even!) something you don’t know.
#86 Mike W
The very reason my father always suggested having one close at hand when traveling long distances…..he was educated by Catlicker nuns!
I just ordered one for my daughter, after all she does want to become a youth minister, and I think turn around is fair play as she got me a Bible last year for my Birthday, seems she wants to convert her old heathen Dad :-)
and to #103, dont keep taking those bibles from the table, it only encourages them to ad more, some good strong epoxy resin or a nail gun would be better used to prevent the weak from succumbing :-)
I’d like a free Bible but them asking for my phone and email makes me suspicious.
Good work PZ. Looks like you’ve been busted though:
Hi. Thanks for visiting our site. It looks like you are visiting us from a link in a blog that recommends that you order your free Bible to ‘keep it out of the hands of poor innocent people.’
Nothing to stop latecomers from cutting and pasting the URL into a new session though…
I don’t. It’s their choice.
As long as it keeps them away from my house, go for it.
Colombia? We can export bibles and make more money that with coffee. Obviously this nuts doesn’t even know the basic facts of the countries they try to evangelize.
@weol:
you don’t even have to copy/paste into a new session, just click in the address bar and hit enter, it’ll reload the page as if you had typed it in manually and won’t give a referral URL to their site, and it loads right up.
I have several Bibles. Reading them numerous times is one reason I am an Atheist.
They’ve since rescinded their kind offer.
The new link is now
http://www.lesea.com/NeedABible.cfm
Note the capitals.
That’s the trouble, Andrew G (comment #78), when you just take a drop down menu and just use it unchanged on a web form. I am always amused when I read the title description list on the Australian Tax Office’s etax. You can pick “Mr, Mrs, Miss, Ms, or even Dr or Prof.” if you want, but if you have any style you can also pick “His or Her Royal Highness.” I have sent off for my free bible, I have a soft spot for it out in the back garden. I just hope it’s biodegradable.
They’re onto us!
…but just reload the page and you’ll get the form. :>
Why the sniveling, cowardly bastards! They don’t even have the courage to trust that their gawd will punish us.
I’m thoroughly disgusted with the whole lot of the worms. Where’s the threats of hell fire & fatwa envy? *snort*
At least with Big Bad Bill we get bluster and a blowhard the size of Godzilla.
Sometimes, it’s fun to pwn n00bs on the gaming battlefield.
Sometimes, it’s fun to pwn n00bs on the intellectual battlefield.
One of these activities has a purpose and can increase the skill level of the player in a pragmatic sense. The other one is just picking on creationists ;)
Got mine last week, finally I’m an atheist with a bible, somehow I felt left out without one.