1. Raynfala says

    Of all of the choices presented, I like “Are you ready for some football?!?” the best. I think it best captures the general state-of-mind of America.

    There are better choices, but trying to use “NASCAR! Woooooooooo!” would raise trademark issues.

  2. Shawn Smith says

    Although it is silly to have “In God We Trust” as the national motto, I would have to say that the seeds for that change in 1956 were planted in the Star Spangled Banner in 1812. The fourth movement contains the phrase, “And this be our motto: ‘In God is our trust.'” Fucking Francis Scott Key.

  3. bernarda says

    The person in your link is obviously a heretic.

    It should be “In God and Jesus and the Holy Ghost” that we trust really. It is blasphemy to deny the Holy Trinity: one in three, and three in one but all equal which sort of means, well I don’t know what.

  4. says

    That reminds me of something I was thinking about the other day. Someone should start a group devoting to restoring “E Pluribus Unum” as the motto. Perhaps that would go over better than just attacking IGWT.

    About Francis Scott Key – yup, not only did he plant the seeds for the destruction of our original motto, he also trashed a perfectly good drinking song.

    About the trinity – in the immortal words of the song “Ponderous” by 2nu:

    Oom papa chaka maka nadasing kow.
    Ding gabalada wamee dumul ching pow.
    Hevee gobul loola kama chama sing dee.
    Oom mama chaka mada one is now three.

    Hey, it makes as much sense as any other explanation of the trinity.

  5. says

    If we’re going to change the motto, I’m going to have to go with E Pluribus Uranium, like the Romans say.

    #4 It is blasphemy to deny the Holy Trinity: one in three, and three in one but all equal which sort of means, well I don’t know what.

    It makes perfect sense when you realize that the Holy Trinity are tortilla chips, jalapeño peppers, and cheese.

  6. jpf says

    The thing that has always bugged me about this and the addition of “under God” to the Pledge around the same time is that “out of many, one” and “one nation, indivisible” are both statements of national unity that were turned into devisive sentiments intentionally aimed at excluding one group of Americans: atheists.

  7. says

    “America – F**K YEAH!” Certainly seems like an appropriate motto nowadays, but them pesky South Park guys probably have a trademark on that…

    On the other hand, “We have always been at war with Eastasia” has a certain ring to it…

  8. Aris says

    “In Law We Trust” would be far more apt for a democracy.

  9. Kulkuri says

    Isn’t the Holy Trinity Beer, Grease and Salt? As for the motto on paper money and changing the Pledge, that was in the days of Tailgunner Joe McCarthy.

  10. Sven DiMilo says

    That link is very funny (“Mexicans continue to occur”–ha!)
    Jean Shepherd usefully amended the stoopid motto in the title of his (hilarious) book In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash (the little-known source of the Christmas Story movie).
    As for a new motto, how about “We’re Number One!!” (Because “Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuehrer” is taken)

  11. holbach says

    Since we are in the “in god we trust” theme, here is an incident that happened this morning in the parking lot of
    my supermarket. A car pulled up to me when I was returning
    back to my car,the driver is a freaking priest and his
    passenger is a bride of jeebus. He asks me for directions
    and I give him a smirk and tell him “why don’t you ask
    your god?” His look was one of incredulous shock as I
    stood there with mocking sneer. He drove off without a
    word or “yours in christ” bullshit and I had my high for
    the day! I have done this several times over the years,
    always ready and on the lookout for the insane rabble clad
    in obvious garb of the brain dead. Keep this in mind when
    you are in a similiar situation. The reaction is worth the
    several seconds of diatribe!

  12. Eric says

    #20 holbach:
    I don’t really get a kick out of snubbing polite people just because they believe something different than me – I leave that to the Christians.

  13. Blondin says

    OT trivia:

    Australia’s national motto is:
    Australia, Australia, Australia we love you!
    This here’s the wattle
    The emblem of our land,
    You can stick it in a bottle
    Or hold it in your hand.

    or something like that…

  14. Don says


    Reminds of the time a gub’mint big shot was on his way to our school in a rough-ish part of Newcastle. He asked directions of a local bloke who replied,

    ‘You’ve got a Jag. You’ll have fucking sat-nav.’

    I thought that was quite stylish, your’s was just boorish.

  15. bernarda says

    holbach, I agree with your response completely and not with the snarky comments. If a preacher asks me the time of day, I tell him to ask god.

    You didn’t choose your moniker from the Baron d’Holbach by any chance?

  16. holbach says

    # 25 Ah bernarda, a true and sensible kindred mind!
    You sometimes wonder at the response your seemingly
    sensible comments. Are we atheists of the same mind ?
    Snarky they certainly are in response, and it amazes me
    that their minds, and ultimately their true outlook is
    openly questionable.
    Yes, my moniker is the great Baron d’ Holbach. Years ago,
    when I was already an entrenched atheist, I bought a set
    of the four volume ENCYCLOPEDIA OF PHILOSOPHY and checked
    out the Baron’s entry:
    “The foremost exponent of atheistic materialism and the
    most intransigent polemicist against religion in the
    Enlightenment.” The word “intransigent’ was how I felt
    and regarded all religions. I have never swayed from this
    stance and it directs all my thoughts and actions for all
    forms of irrational thought and behavior.
    So even the snarky comments will not change this stance
    one iota. Since you and I agree on this matter, what does
    it say about the snarkyites? This last comment will most
    assuredly generate additional “snarkums”. Snark on, they
    will be to no avail in unsettlng my intransigence. Don’t
    waver bernarda, for there is one out there who is in deep
    accord with you.

  17. says

    Canada’s is the geographically obvious A Mari usque ad Mare, “From Sea to Sea”. I believe it was chosen over two other contenders: “Holy fuck but it’s cold here,” and “Pass me another Molson’s, eh?”

    Apparently, there is a movement to recognise the Artic Ocean and change the motto to “From Sea to Sea to Sea.” If that’s the case, then we’d be better off with something like “We haven’t the foggiest as to what to do with all this tundra, but it’ll be a hot day in Iqaluit before we let those Yanks and Danes roam through it with impunity.”

  18. Eric says

    You sometimes wonder at the response your seemingly sensible comments.
    [snark off]
    I don’t see how being an asshole to strangers is sensible behavior. What seems sensible to me is to understand my desire to not be treated like crap for nothing other than my (perceived) beliefs, and extend that to a general imperative not do the same to others.
    [snark on]
    I’ll once again leave that, and the intransigence, for that matter, to the Christians.

  19. Rupert Goodwins says

    I don’t think we’ve got one in the UK, not officially anyway. Plenty of unofficial ones, mostly to do with drink and football – most of those to do with drink.

    In the past, things were different. We’ve still got echoes of those around the edges of the coins – stuff like DG (by the grace of God) and FD (defender of the faith – which was actually a title given to King Henry VIII by the Pope before the marital disagreement, but Henry liked it so much he kept it anyway), but they’re meaningless to anyone who doesn’t know what they mean and ironic to those who do.

    Perhaps the most telling of those historical phrases was when the king or queen was crowned sovereign of the seas, among the huge list of more or less fictitious statements declaring them in charge of chunks of dry land. This was taken seriously, and the Navy was supposed to demand that the ships of all other nations defer to it in various nautical ways – signals, giving way, and so on. (That’s one of the places the whole business of “Britannia Rules The Waves” comes from).

    Of course, the navies of other nations were having none of this bullying, and there were plenty of incidents. And it came to pass that after a while, Great Britain really did rule the waves (in a way that the US can only dream about)… at which point, all the nonsense of demanding stuff from other ships and making a big thing about being top dog was quietly forgotten. When you’re clearly something, saying so loudly is just bad taste.

    By that logic, any country who needs to go around saying “We’re God’s best mate, we are” is deadly afraid that they’re no such thing.

  20. Josh says

    I have a few suggestions for a new motto:

    “Praise the Lord and pass the ammo!”
    “Habeus what?
    “Yer either fer us or agin us!”
    “Spurning rational inquiry for over 100 years.”
    “Every time you learn something, God kills a kitten.”
    “Conform, Consume, Conquer”


  21. ChicagoMolly says

    President Theodore Roosevelt tried to get IGWT removed because he thought putting god’s name on money was sacrilegious and unconstitutional. And yes, he’s the same guy who called Thomas Paine “a dirty little atheist”. Hey, nobody’s perfect.

  22. truth machine says

    I don’t see how being an asshole to strangers is sensible behavior.

    Then why are you doing it?

    Personally I think Holbach’s response was brilliant, and will use it if I ever get the chance. Perhaps it will cause some frocked fellow to question the basis of his wasted life.

  23. Crudely Wrott says

    We come from all places
    With some funny names.
    We each have our faces
    That are not the same.
    Our ancestors arrived
    (Some barely survived)
    But enough lived to give rise to fame.

    Twelve, or more, thousand years
    Have just flat disappeared
    Since some guys arrived in this place.
    When you look in the mirror
    Behold the dim glimmer
    Of you ancestor’s eager young face.

    In moments of quiet
    I imagine the riot
    That would happen if not for the notion
    That most of out parents
    Braved the dire currents
    Of a deep, overwhelming, cold ocean.

    And finding them selves
    On beaches of shells
    And beholding the one and the other,
    A notion took hold
    Notoriously bold;
    “Look, are we not just like brothers?”

    At some time or other
    Some of these brothers
    Beset by the ill will of others,
    Decided to screw ’em,
    Established a union;
    And so we are “E Pluribus Unum.”

  24. Eric says

    Personally I think Holbach’s response was brilliant, and will use it if I ever get the chance. Perhaps it will cause some frocked fellow to question the basis of his wasted life.

    Yes, I’m sure being an asshole to him will make him question the validity of his assumption that atheists are all assholes, and he won’t be able to avoid noticing how fulfilled and moral you are – the things he’s probably most scared of losing if he were to leave Christianity.

    Perhaps there’s a time and a place to be a jerk – for example, after someone else has shown that they are one themself. But to judge the character of a stranger based on what you assume he believes based on what he’s wearing, and then treat him like crap because of it… doesn’t really seem to have a point, from where I stand. Well, other than the primal rush you get from the instinct to cultivate the “us vs. them” mentality. Who could resist that?

  25. Arnosium Upinarum says

    Eric, #38, I couldn’t agree more. Every atheist who doesn’t exercise decency and respect to fellow human beings of any persuasion as a matter of routine is bigot and, in my book, in the same category as the most flaming haters that religios fundamentalism churns out. And if they don’t understand when it’s appropriate to swipe back (never “snark” and never “smirk”, behaviors which stink of self-importance and conceit) then their stupidity is indistinguishable from the most ignorant fundie.

    That’s one reason why I had to take a long break from this site. Way too many posters comment just to climb on the snark bandwagon, just to feel superior. (Sound familiar holbach & truth machine?) And here I thought that atheists can set a real example of ethical values, decency and honor by remaining untrammeled by irrational jerk behavior. If anyone needs a hatred and bullshit fix they should haunt the religious blogs.