Noooooo! It’s another paradox!
This is a Cthulhu birthday cake, but it’s entirely vegan! This is just not right. A Cthulhu cake has to be made of various meats stacked in alien geometries and in a state of corruption and decay, topped with ichor icing.
(Hillary is out to get me because I haven’t reviewed her book yet. Insanity doesn’t make it easier!)
LMAO “…topped with ichor icing.” One of my favs!
Wow! Thats almost as cool as my Cookie Monster cake when i was in 2nd grade! hahahaha. Cephalopod cake would’ve been cooler obviously, but Jesus got in the way between here and there.
Hmmm, meat cakes. . .
My girlfriend’s sister and sister’s fiancee are really big fans of pigs. So this year for the fiancee’s birthday, my girlfriend made him a ham cake with mashed potato icing decorated with little roses made of bacon. I missed that particular perversion incident but then she made a more traditional cake for them that she wanted to decorate in a porcine manner. I walked into the house and was immediately enlisted. Apparently I earned many boyfrined points when I uickly improvised a suid nose and ear using strawberries, eyes made of blueberries and tusks derived from carrots to hew a piggy face out of the available raw materials in the kitchen.
The Veganomicon (see PZ’s link), by the way, is a pretty amazing vegan cookbook. Even if it hadn’t been, the title alone made it worth buying.
Perhaps you are thinking of old-fashioned mince pies (which really were made of dodgy left-over meat pieces with spices and fruity bits to disguise the rot. It ought to be easy enough to decorate a mince pie with some pastry squid tentacles rather than holly.
Cool looking cake, I hope it tastes better than the vegan pumpkin pie a sibling brought yesterday.
I love my brother and I try to be an open minded eater (we are currently in a red squirrel phase as the critters are destroying the woodshed and my children refuse to shoot anything unless we’re willing to eat it – skunks excepted) but the coconut milk/flax/no spice pumpkin pie was a challenge.
which really were made of dodgy left-over meat pieces with spices and fruity bits to disguise the rot.
It wasn’t to disguise the rot, it was to prove you were rich enough to afford spices.
If our ancestors had eaten as much dodgy meat as urban legend would have it, most of ’em wouldn’t have made it.
But surely the presence of spices would help to, um, move things along so as to limit any potential for damage?
I think our ancestors probably had much stronger immune systems than we do today. When you consider all the dirt and germs to which they would have been exposed …..
I think our ancestors probably had much stronger immune systems than we do today. When you consider all the dirt and germs to which they would have been exposed …..
They also had much lower life expectancies, so I’m not sure they did survive the extra doses of dirt and germs.
Or maybe many were sacrificed to make evil Cthuloid meat cakes. That would lower the average life expectancy too.
Oops. Last time I saw one of these in “Call of Cthulhu,” I blew its head off with a shotgun. Sorry, didn’t realize at the time.
Graculus wrote:
If our ancestors had eaten as much dodgy meat as urban legend would have it, most of ’em wouldn’t have made it.
Well, all of my ancestors are dead, so it seems the dodgy meat eventually caught up with them.
> Hillary is out to get me because I haven’t reviewed her book yet.
Well, you know what they say: Hell hath no fury like an author scorned.
Besides, in the original mythology, chthulu was a peace-loving vegan. Patriarchy coopted him and turned him into a voracious carnist, but we vegans are slowly winning him back.
Hill
I used to live with a cat whose name was CTHULU, the devourer of voles.
I sure miss finding the little headless bodies of voles & pocket gophers at my front door.
They also had much lower life expectancies, so I’m not sure they did survive the extra doses of dirt and germs.
Consider that life expectancy, while a somewhat useful metric for assessing the general overall health of a population, is a very poor indicator of what the individuals’ lives were actually like (or how long they lasted). For example, a population with high infant mortality whose members generally live to 80 (if they survive past the age of five) will have a much lower life expectancy than a population with low infant mortality whose members also generally live to 80. Similarly, a population that has just suffered a pandemic will have a lower life expectancy than a population that has not, even if all other factors are the same.
Thus, assumptions about the parasite loads, morbidity or mortality due to chronic vs. infectious diseases, or pretty well any other aspects of health of a past population from life expectancy alone are very unreliable.
For an excellent book about parasites and disease among humans past and present, I recommend Parasite Rex by the always-superb Carl Zimmer.
Why not get a cuddly toy to comfort you in in the padded cell?
My favorite parts of a good calamari are the crunchy tentacles.
There is no good vegan calamari…
From a friend of mine comes another Cthulhu sighing:
Cthulhu Ornaments
Not affiliated with that site in any way, I just wanted to share the Cephalopod inspired amusement.