Yet another comedian that needs the problematic disclaimer. But this makes me laugh so much because it is so true, and is a very good question…

Why the hell do white people insist on staying in a haunted house?

I’m with Eddie on this one… (assuming ghosts are real for the sake of argument) if I walk in to a house, and it turns out to be haunted, I’m out. I’ll sell it to you if you really want it, but I’ll find somewhere else, thanks.

You know what? That actually leads to a rant I have about most horror movies…

The characters in most of these movies make the absolute worst decisions possible. They never make a good decision at any level. Almost like they want to be killed by the… whatever the antagonist is. It’s the main reason (well… that and I don’t really like to be scared) I don’t like most horror movies. I’m spending less time scared and more time angry with the victims for the choices they make and the actions they take.

Like…

Maybe don’t split up? Maybe don’t take that solitary walk in the middle of the woods at night? Maybe don’t randomly have sex while people are dying around you? Maybe don’t even try to confront whatever it is?

It’s why I liked Cabin in the Woods, actually. The entire movie is like a CinemaSins video. It completely bashes every cliche and every ridiculously bad choice victims in these kinds of films make.

Which leads to a commercial… I don’t really like commercials, and I would not call myself a fan of Geico. But… they kinda nail this one…

Now you know what would be an amazing horror film? One where the victims make all the right/good choices, and it doesn’t matter. Now that would be awesome.

Any suggestions?