I found myself wanting to do a post about these sexy people I like, which raised a question in my head about when it’s appropriate to express your horndoggery. Obviously in the strip club you are supposed to say “yowza yowza” and “faster baby, yeah.” In an elevator with a relative stranger in the night it’s best not to ask somebody out even in a low-key kinda way. Workplace you could say “nice haircut, Steve” but that might be pushing it. Still, there are times and places where it is correct and appropriate to say “lookin good, baybeh” that don’t involve sex work; I know there are. The factors are, I think, how sexy is the talk, and how removed is everyone involved from the consequences of said talk.
So we can all talk about a movie where a person was styled to be attractive for the audience’s enjoyment and say, “Marilyn sure was hot stuff in The Seven Year Itch. Brad got the meat on him for Troy, hoo boy.” The actor knows what they were in the movie for, and are unlikely to ever catch one of our conversations of that nature in progress. And what is it we’re saying? If some horndoggos are talking about specific sex acts they wanna do on Actor X, then Actor X walks into the room, they’d probably pretend they were talking about somebody else or switch from “bend him over a fire hydrant” to “respectful admiration for the beauty of his form,” right?
I remember an incident before Louie CK was cancelled for exposing himself to ladies, where he was on some shitty show with a conservative lady, and said something like “I’m going to masturbate thinking about you tonight and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.” I found it repellent and lost whatever half-assed interest I may have once possessed re: his comic stylings, in that moment. Also stopped watching random clips of comedians on yewchoob. I’m sure I don’t have much right to cast stones; in the course of my life I’ve surely had moments of bad behavior. But still. Instructive to see that shit from the outside.
So here’s the level of remove I’m working with. The sexy people I was inclined to talk about are actors in a training video at my undisclosed workplace. They aren’t really actors. They’re people with higher salaries in the organization, department sub-heads or whatever. They are very very very unlikely to ever catch the faintest trace of this blog post in what remains of their lives. I have not given the url of my blog to any of my coworkers, or let them know my blogonym, and I don’t even work in the same state as these people. I can’t remember their names and wouldn’t disclose them here if I did. I am not going to become so famous some weirdo goes digging for receipts. Can I talk about, hey yowza, wouldn’t mind doin somethin somethin to them? Or would that still be inappropriate?
Then there’s the audience of this blog. Someone who reads this might be a person who has appeared in the training materials for their corporation or agency, and then feels like, even if the people in question are not them, it makes them uncomfortable that somebody out there might see their videos and be all “hubba hubba hubba.”
But still. Hubba hubba hubba. People in suits speaking in upbeat but stilted tones, humanity coming through cracks in their styling. Potent essence of desire to touch. How offended would you be? The very fact I was compelled to make this post asking suggests I know the answer is “don’t do it,” and I’m just fishing for a co-sign to my creepery. Hm…
I’m still running a fundraiser. For the most recent info on that, see the post before the post before this one. –goal met fundraiser closed.