had a dream last night i was an armed security guard and got into a point blank gunfight with a guy.  i shot him, but it didn’t put him down in one hit – just “microstaggered” him, in gamer parlance.  that kept him from shooting me, but he was still trying, so i shot him again and again.  he didn’t die, but at last he gave up.

i called the post “shooting blanks” after a common slang term for impotence.  this is because the usual freudian assumption is that if a penis hoster dreams of having an ineffectual weapon, they are fearing the day their virility fails.

now i don’t love the diminishing of my sexual powers.  they were far too much until i was about twenty-two, then they were ok until around forty, now they’re pathetic.  why did it have to be a high speed burn?  i’d take being massively less horny as a child in exchange for more years of ok as an adult.  but it doesn’t matter that much.  there are things i value above the humpty dance.

besides, there are other obvious interpretations.  this could be from feeling powerless against evil in my daily life.  i doubt that is relevant in this case because while i thought of my foe as dangerous, i did not feel he was evil.  we just happened to be on opposite sides.

this could be from the mind just seeking details, like the way awareness of teeth leads to dreams of teeth falling out.  i was aware of a gun in my hand so i dreamed it sucked.  it’s just easier to imagine failure and deterioration than to imagine superlatives.  i remember examining the gun after the fight and seeing the barrel was comically skinny, haha…

that would be a funny dream, the inverse.  gun too powerful.  i only wanted to wing him, to disarm him, but my massive load of white-hot lead dissolved half his torso and made his blood flash to steam.  sexy?  🤮

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