See this previous post for a communication to any who would join me in writing.  For a thought on David Lynch, see this article.  And see this article to read the story from the beginning.  Meanwhile…

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Xihuani was so much human meat.  Could there be anything else left of her?  Once there was a sense of self, a sense of a place in the world.  Pride, people, humanity.  She had let herself be swept up in grievances, in annoyance at the ways the system just didn’t live up to her ideals.  But that led to murder.  So many murders.  How many had she personally killed?  It was impossible to be certain, when all her friends were pulling triggers at once.  And there.  The linchpin.  The beast.  Blasfemia.

The very fact that the heavens fell when she slew the pope, that justified the idea that the Church truly was special – truly deserved its place of primacy over all the peoples and cultures of the Stars of Weal.  Who was she to question that?  To seek to undo it?  The shreds of her childish daydreams seemed so provincial after all that.

And more importantly, after the consequences of it.  The hours of terror, running, cowering in darkness, knowing that it was all so inevitable.  The dragging, the beating, the stripping.  They were all the same, in that room where Blasfemia had cut down the sky.  They were blood and bone and flesh suffused with cruel, cruel pain.

Then it was off to be healed, to be put in proper order for a no doubt even more sadistic sentence.  Deserved, perhaps, but what was right and wrong no longer had any meaning at all.  There was only a body – a vehicle for torment – and a soul that would never know hope again.

Jorge was atomized, so many grains of experience spilled across the tiles, adding up to nothing.  Coherence had been beaten out of him.  His last thought was to escape to the spirit world, to set his soul free.  He had learned something of the principles of transubstantiation in seminary.  But he was still a novice, and worse, he could not focus enough to exercise the most basic workings of all.

The spill happened over and over again.  Gather as much of yourself as you can, put all the bits back in your skull, and focus.  Just focus, if you can, on anything.  The pain itself, why not?

But he couldn’t see anything.  It was all bursts of this and that, moments like firecrackers on a string, flying apart one after another.  He was nothing.

Zochino had, under the ministration of the Church’s medical scientists, come farther than Xihuani and Jorge, able to make more sense of what was actually happening to them.  They were being held in a normal enough hospital – the only one within the Walled City.  The floor had been cordoned off to serve no one but the assassins.  The security was performative, but what a performance!  There was always, always a line of men outside that door, side by side by side, like paper dolls.

He had his own room, and imagined that was true of the others as well.  By that time, their identities must be known, and who knows what was happening to the other people in their lives?  To friends, to families?

Jailbreaking Blasfemia was the real beginning of the end for them.  It made them – especially Christina and himself – feel like anything was possible.  It wasn’t just principles anymore; it was praxis.  And then she entered the discussion.  It went so quickly from destroying the Church to just killing all the priests.  Her sister was humiliated before the whole damn Universe, and she wanted to see that Universe drown in blood for its insult.  How could such a savage turn the minds of civilized people?  What power did she possess?

None.  Zochino had let her do it.  He reveled in feeling powerful, feeling like he could do something – anything at all – in the face of an eternal status quo, an unbreakable dogma.  It all just seemed so abstract, from that hospital bed, knowing that all his remaining life would be spent in unimaginable punishment.  He cried for himself, but there was enough left of his former idealism to weep for everyone who had suffered and who was going to suffer for his weaknesses.  Especially for his comrades.

And a scant ten meters away, in another room, the last of the comrades felt another way entirely.  Christina’s tortures had never stopped.  Some part of her mind was convinced her fingers had been burned away, and strapped down and drugged, she could not tell it otherwise.  Her body was mutilated, unjustly.

Who would be called to account?  How could it be made right?  It could not.  Only God could make it right, by dying.  Jorge used to say there was an old legend that God had come to earth as a duende, killed by barbarian persecutors, and that the sacrifice of that body had given some gift to the whole human race.  Why had the legend been forgotten?  Who cared?  It was forbidden knowledge by that point, because it was heresy.

She’d always liked heresies, and that’s why her only prayer was to see that one come to pass.  To see God in the flesh again, suffering as she was.  To burn off his fingers, to burn off his dick.  To slash his throat and pull his tongue out through the wound.  Her body was her own.  How dare anyone, no matter if it was the creator of the Universe, take from Christina any part of herself?  If the saints wanted her fingernails, she wanted their fingers.  If god wanted her fingers, she wanted his life.

Burn, o Heaven, burn.  Hatred kept her alive.

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