Given that the dudes from Zepp were most likely rapists, and given that even if they weren’t, they literally have songs about impregnating teenage children, it’s fair for anyone to disregard their music, avoid them like the plague. Certainly I don’t advocate giving them money. But I would like, if I may, to make a puerile observation about one of their puerile songs, and if possible, keep the tenor of the discourse puerile as well. That is to say, don’t read this if you don’t want to speak with light-hearted amusement at the horndogging foolery that is Led Zeppelin’s catalog. Proceeding thusly…
The song “Whole Lotta Love” is the exact sonic equivalent of the phenomenon of big titties being shaken with erotic intent. Not medium sized titties, not shaken by jogging, specifically big titties being shaken for horny spectacle. I realized this recently, and it raises a variety of questions.
Is there a sonic equivalent of medium sized titties being shaken with erotic intent? Small sized? How about shaking peens? Big ones? Small ones? Artificial ones? Hard strap-ons vs. wobbly strap-ons? Less-culturally-sexualized body parts shaken with erotic intent?
Does the confirmed undeniable crystalline truth regarding Whole Lotta Love and its equivalent in erotic display suggest that if the song did not exist, there would be no musical expression of shaking big titties for thrills? And if the songs for the other sizes and types of body parts and sexual implements shaking libidinously do not yet exist, is it yet possible that someone will compose them? Will it be you?
Engage in this discourse if you are able.