(that is, Bee Pee Sepielle)
By request by Daniel Midgley (wait, *that* Daniel Midgley? Apparently so), a verse about… well, about a rather remarkable photograph. (please do follow the link–I would love to embed the photo, but as a creator of original content, I am becoming a bit of a stickler for credit where it is due; the photographer, Mark Parrott, shouldn’t have his photo spread all over creation without recompense.) The photo shows… well… a bee. Peeing. in flight. It is a remarkable photo, and I really wish I had taken it. I’ve taken scores of pictures of bees, wasps, flies, and the like in my garden, but never an action shot like Parrott’s.
The difficult thing about bee-ing is peeing–
The other bees know that you should be at work!
One tempting solution is trying while flying
But those right below you might think you’re a jerk
You want them to think that you’r working, not shirking,
Cos bees must keep busy in order to thrive
You’re out sucking nectar from flowers for hours
But look for a bathroom? There’s none in the hive!
Or, maybe, it’s just… we’ve been missing them pissing;
They do what they need to, right under our nose!
It’s too hard a task to look closely, so mostly
We don’t see them pissing from daisy to rose.
Some luck, and some keen observation–elation!–
A miracle snapshot; a shutterbug’s bliss!
The mystery’s solved, with this photo, in toto,
We finally see how a bee takes a piss!
Yay! I knew you’d come through! Thank you.
Love,
*that* Daniel Midgley
So now we know that bees (as G.H.W. Bush discovered of cows) are retromingent.
I think that I should never see
Anything as wonderful as a bee
A bee in flight is what I see
So lovely is that bee to me
A bee, a bee, a bumble bee
A bee, a bee, a humble bee
But do you see what I do see?
That bee is doing a wee bee wee
See that people, do you see?
The poem I wrote about a bee
Not just any bee you see
A bee is fleeing with a wee
A weeing bee is what I see
Weeing as we see it flee
Not a swarm nor even three
Just one wee bee doing wee
Perhaps the queen set him free
I hope he doesn’t wee on me
There’s a poem or two or three
About a bee whose doing wee
Not many poets here to see
Just the one, and he’s not me
I think that you will all agree
This poem’s about a little bee
But not just any bee you see
A flying bee whose doing wee
A single bee without company
Flying and busting for a pee
He couldn’t make it to the tree
His bladder was too full you see
He buzzed away while full of pee
And then his pee turned into wee
Puts me in mind of the old British joke about a swarm of bees buzzing along the motorway, one of them flying with legs crossed and asking “When do we get to the next BP station?”
Well, they eventually arrive and land – all except one bee who buzzes on further, to an Esso station. Thus showing that in every crowd there’s always one Esso Bee.