Oh, Texas! Don’t Ever… Evolve.

The bible is my textbook;
It’s the only one I need
It’s got all the information
That a person ought to read
Any open-minded scientist
Would certainly concede
It’s a better book than Darwin’s is, by far!

It’s the universe’s history—
All several thousand years—
And it shows how evolution’s
Not as strong as it appears
(Cos it’s atheistic scientists
Just covering their fears);
God created things exactly as they are

So it’s time to put the bible
Into all our Texas schools!
It’s against the constitution,
But they always say, of rules,
That they’re there for us to break them,
So watch out, you godless fools
We will have our way, through providence divine!

Yes, we’ll earn our reputation
As a stubborn, backward state
Though it’s really not the people,
It’s the board that guards the gate
So the people watch in horror
As creationists debate…
See, it’s what you call intelligent design.

Context here or here.

Related Post: The Bible As Textbook


  1. Ichthyic says

    did you ever see that video Molly Ivans did about “Dildo legislation” in Texas?

    hilariously tragic.

  2. Ichthyic says

    I love how they open mouth just LAUGHED at the congressman who wanted to pass the anit-sodomy law (for both sexes!)…. and then PASSED IT ANYWAY.

  3. Ichthyic says

    …still shaking my head over that one. They obviously KNEW the proposed legislation was ridiculous, but passed it regardless…

    how does that work?

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