The Wedding Of John And Jim

This is the story of John and Jim;
Jim loves John, and John loves him;
Twenty years, six months, and eleven days
Already married in many ways,
They finally got to say their vows
With every right the law allows

Just watch the story—don’t ask why…
And I fucking dare you not to cry.

I don’t always cry at weddings. The last wedding I went to, my nephew’s, I bawled like a baby–but that’s because this was my nephew, and every detail was perfect, and I just love him to death.

I don’t know Jim or John. Never heard of them before about an hour ago. But thanks to the internets, I cried at their wedding, too. It was another perfect day:

John Arthur’s been a patient of Crossroads since March, but it wasn’t until June 26 that he settled on his notion of a perfect day. That morning the U.S. Supreme Court struck down portions of the federal Defense of Marriage Act. As he watched the announcement from a medical bed in his Over-the-Rhine condo, Arthur and his partner of 20 years, Jim Obergefell, decided that they wanted to marry.

A wedding for the couple would not be easy. Because same-sex marriage is illegal in Ohio, and because the Supreme Court ruling left marriage bans at the state level intact, Arthur and Obergefell couldn’t marry here. The prospect of travel was difficult because Arthur is bedridden with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS, a progressive neurological disease that robs patients of their ability to walk, talk and eventually breathe. Within minutes of the Supreme Court decision, the couple started working the phones, email and social media to figure out how they might legally wed.

The full story is well worth reading, and it is a tear-jerker. I was going to write and tell you about it even before I saw the video.

But, oh. Watch the video (I’ll embed it just below, and if that isn’t working, it can be viewed at the link). It takes a while, but it’s just so beautiful. Yes, I cried. You will, too. I can only hope (vainly, I suspect) that Ohio will soon (sadly, they don’t have much time) allow them to renew their vows in the state they fell in love in, and did not want to leave.

(ok, it’s embedded below the fold–the video is on autoplay, and I don’t know how to fix that, so be aware before you click through. It’s still very much worth your time, though Ok, I’ve deleted the video until such time as I am able to embed it without autoplay. Again, here’s the link to the video, and you do want to watch the video!.)

Anyway… Here’s to John and Jim, or Jim and John, husband and husband. Congratulations!


  1. Pierce R. Butler says

    The video as embedded autoplays once this page is opened – and it starts with a $#&@! advertisement… :-P

  2. Cuttlefish says

    Yeah… I am open to any advice on that. I put it under the fold, at least, so it’s not on the main page, but I know pretty much nothing about html, and I have no idea which bit in the link tells it to autoplay.


  3. procrastinator will get an avatar real soon now says

    When I open your page on Chrome/Win7 there is no “fold” and the autoplay kicks off immediately.

  4. Cuttlefish says

    Ok, I’m gonna take the video out. Dammit. One of these days, I have to learn a bit of html.

  5. Pierce R. Butler says

    Cuttlefish @ # 4: … I have to learn a bit of html.

    You won’t like it: practically nothing rhymes.

  6. Robert B. says

    Aughh, how embarassing. I forgot to close the tag after “forms”.

    Uh. So, Cuttlefish. Do you know enough HTML to close a tag for me? If not, I’d be happy to give you your first lesson right on the spot in exchange for hiding my shame.

  7. Cuttlefish says

    Robert B., I took a guess. Either I fixed it, or I made it look like I fixed it while leaving something dangerously wrong.

  8. Pierce R. Butler says

    It is plainly a new grotesque hell
    To write verse in html.
    I just don’t think I can hack it
    When every line ends in “close bracket”.

  9. carlie says

    So beautiful. I don’t know how anyone could look at this and see anything but pure love.

  10. sezit says

    wow. this wedding hits like a ton of bricks. I *wasn’t* going to cry, but couldn’t help myself.

    What damage the right wing and religion does to people. And for what purpose? All they want is to love.

  11. Cuttlefish says

    I know, right? I was gonna be all cynical and shit, but these men are just so overwhelmingly sincere and in love, my super powers of cynicism were useless against it.

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